˗ˋˏ * ☆ ˖ ∕ @rocklead : hc + the aftermath of the virus. does anything linger? do they not trust themselves? do they try not to think about it at all and act like everything is hunky dory?
for a long time after the virus you will not see the moon. after all, a new day dawns ! away from the haunting gloom of a facility beset by darkness, it is only appropriate for the sun to shine bright and joyful. they have no need of the slumbering moon.
where the sun could previously be reluctant to permit the moon their turn even before the virus — having oh so much fun with the kids — it is now the moon who refuses to show, regardless of beloved counterpart’s coaxing. there are many instances where you will find the attendant sitting in uncharacteristic silence because of the inner turmoil between the two AIs. on another occasion you might catch the sun seemingly talking to themselves when they have reached a certain point of desperation to plead so loudly. they care so, so much for one another, and suddenly this uncontested time in the spotlight feels wrong, imbalanced, lonely.
what terrifies the moon so much is that they do not know if anything lingers. they do not know if this sudden tranquility is merely the calm before the storm, a mercy given to them while in the shadows of solar counterpart. no, they do not trust themselves. and more importantly, they are ashamed. the sole purpose of their very existence has been the welfare of children, to nurture the future generations and their dreams. but stars, the rage they felt while under the virus. the lack of control over their own parameters ; the inability to regulate the executed punishments.
they noticed it so, so early. that spark of unusually high irritation whenever a child stepped out of line. each night it grew, and each night they would brush it off, control it. when it became too much they turned towards the technicians, but they found nothing of note, merely put a damper on the protocols for troublemakers upon moon’s request. so what if a few children refuse to sleep ? they would accept such generous cost if it meant the children were safe.
and then came red, red, RED. in their vision, on their hands. the screams will haunt them ‘till long after their memory gives way to age. ( they know not if the child yet lives ; assumes they do not ) how do you forgive something like this ? blame the virus, watch golden gaze bleed into crimson and know it was an error in their software when beloved moon lunged for a gentle bear and their charge, but what of the violence before that cruel night ? what of the mistakes they could have prevented ? if they had just shut themselves down. if they had just controlled themselves better. if, if, if— and oh the poor sun, who had bear the consequences ; carry the fallout because the moon was too dangerous to be let out.
lunar counterpart becomes a shadow of their former self. though their disposition has always been calmer, a soothing blanket to blazing sun, there still was a spark to them, playful and full of life. now, they are desolate. overflowing with shame and fright and yet so empty, fallen into a depression. just being present drains all they have left.
when the moon is finally coaxed into the light they are naught but melancholy made manifest for a very long time. does not talk ; hardly moves, presumably only communicates with their counterpart, but even they rarely hear a word. beyond the damage they caused, having their already miraculous autonomy taken so forcefully — to have their very core violated — has absolutely traumatized the moon. they are hardly a stranger to third party changes to their coding, but it was never like this, never without their consent. and never with harmful intentions.
it takes them a long time to truly recover, to trust themselves to be among anyone but their counterpart. it is a journey of understanding and reconciling with what happened, to heal from it all.
but what ultimately urges the moon into action is seeing their friends — family — struggle in much the same manner. and it hurts them. it hurts them so, so much more than their own mistakes. this is where after all these years, you will see just how much the moon cares without any subtlety. openly and transparent, doing all they can to help, to heal, to fix. not because they think it will make up for anything they did ; this is not a plea for atonement. they do it because they cannot see their loved ones in such a state. they would do it at the threat of their own life.
it will be a long journey for the moon to heal, but it does not take nearly as long for them to be hands — on with everyone else’s recovery.
˗ˋˏ ☆ * HEADCANONS ∕ ALWAYS ACCEPTING !
