#rocksss

[theriu]

Labradorite is so flippin' cool you guys. In the right light it looks like a fragment of window into a nebula. A spaceship could zoom by at any moment. 10/10 cool rock, would gaze into a scifi universe again.

(Thank you @reddpenn for your cool rocks post that reminded me I took this picture to post and almost forgot XD)

[bush-hobo]

I would like somebody to give pretty rocks to.

[theriu]

How To Discourse With Dwarves

ME: Hey. You Tim Oresonson?

DWARF: (freezes) M-maybe… Who wants to know?

ME: A little birdie told me you have what I need.

DWARF: I, I don’t! Really! Look, I’m not like other dwarves! I don’t have any diamonds—

ME: I don’t want diamonds.

DWARF: Or mithril—

ME: No mithril.

DWARF: Then what do you want?! I don’t mine what the other dwarves mine, okay? The only minerals I carry are common, uninteresting stones like—

ME: Can you tell me the name of this rock?

DWARF: . . . . . . . (pulls jewelers glasses from pocket) Is that . . .? Why, it is! What an amazing specimen of sodalite!

ME: THAT’S IT! Dude I have been asking EVERY dwarf I could find what this is, me and my friends couldn’t find the name ANYWHERE and the gem mining place didn’t have it on their website. But it’s like, if it’s anything less precious than a garnet, the other dwarves don’t care enough to notice! I showed one my favorite chunk of citrine and he said it looked like a chunk of candied orange!!! . . . Which, I mean, he wasn’t wrong . . .

DWARF: (outraged) It’s all the jewelry industry’s fault! I tell the crew, precious gems and metals are well and good for cash, but we can’t lose an appreciation for the less “rare” stones! A piece of tiger’s eye or smokey quartz or even marble has just as much beauty and value if you take the time to look!

ME: I’m SO glad there’s still dwarves who know how to appreciate rocks properly! Thanks a lot, it’s way more fun showing off a pretty rock when you know the name for it. You’re awesome, Tim!

DWARF: (bashful) Do . . . do you need help identifying any other rocks?

ME: Sure! Want to see my citrine?

DWARF: Do I!!!

——

(A/N: Largely inspired by a recent event after my NC vacation. I could NOT remember the word “sodalite” and it took multiple rock friends to help solve my mystery XD; )

For more assorted nonsense, visit my How To Guides for Mythical Creatures Masterlist!

[theriu]

I was thinking about rocks again and that brought me back around to gorgons and I’m wondering like, sure they turn living things into stone, but what KIND of stone? There’s so many kinds of stone out there! Granite? Marble? FLOURESCENT???

What I’m saying is if youre going to have rock statues sitting around anyway, why not make them as EXTRA AND FABULOUS as possible

@reddpenn youre the most rock-smart person I know please weigh in on this.

[x-delicately]