#rock post

[analogue-dragon]

YOU ALSO HAVE A ROCKY!! YES!! GOOD GOOD GOOD!

Other Rockys hard to find. Lonely lonely.

Hellooo new Rocky

Make Rocky army and take over earth, make new erid 👎👎👎

Hello Rocky friend Rocky 👐

[plaguery]

i want to throw rocks at him and tear at his flesh and watch him tortured on the breaking wheel

[hardend-lava-rocks]

I have discovered sigyn gets upset if you make a list of Norse gods an include loki but don't include her

[theriu]

How To Discourse With Dwarves

ME: Hey. You Tim Oresonson?

DWARF: (freezes) M-maybe… Who wants to know?

ME: A little birdie told me you have what I need.

DWARF: I, I don’t! Really! Look, I’m not like other dwarves! I don’t have any diamonds—

ME: I don’t want diamonds.

DWARF: Or mithril—

ME: No mithril.

DWARF: Then what do you want?! I don’t mine what the other dwarves mine, okay? The only minerals I carry are common, uninteresting stones like—

ME: Can you tell me the name of this rock?

DWARF: . . . . . . . (pulls jewelers glasses from pocket) Is that . . .? Why, it is! What an amazing specimen of sodalite!

ME: THAT’S IT! Dude I have been asking EVERY dwarf I could find what this is, me and my friends couldn’t find the name ANYWHERE and the gem mining place didn’t have it on their website. But it’s like, if it’s anything less precious than a garnet, the other dwarves don’t care enough to notice! I showed one my favorite chunk of citrine and he said it looked like a chunk of candied orange!!! . . . Which, I mean, he wasn’t wrong . . .

DWARF: (outraged) It’s all the jewelry industry’s fault! I tell the crew, precious gems and metals are well and good for cash, but we can’t lose an appreciation for the less “rare” stones! A piece of tiger’s eye or smokey quartz or even marble has just as much beauty and value if you take the time to look!

ME: I’m SO glad there’s still dwarves who know how to appreciate rocks properly! Thanks a lot, it’s way more fun showing off a pretty rock when you know the name for it. You’re awesome, Tim!

DWARF: (bashful) Do . . . do you need help identifying any other rocks?

ME: Sure! Want to see my citrine?

DWARF: Do I!!!

——

(A/N: Largely inspired by a recent event after my NC vacation. I could NOT remember the word “sodalite” and it took multiple rock friends to help solve my mystery XD; )

For more assorted nonsense, visit my How To Guides for Mythical Creatures Masterlist!

[same-picture-of-a-rock-every-day]

-. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / - ..- .-. -. -.-.-- / -.-. --- -. - .. -. ..- . / - .... . / -.-. .... .- .. -. / .- -. -.. / ... . -. -.. / - .... .. ... / --- -. / .- -. --- -. / - --- / .---- ----- / -... .-.. --- --. ... .-.-.- / .-. .. -.-. -.- .-. --- .-.. .-.. / .- .-.. .-.. / --- ..-. / - ..- -- -... .-.. .-. .-.-.-

I knew that was a rickrol the second I saw it thank you I love it

this is also serving as an announcement post, after a brief hiatus for mental heath, the rock is back! I missed y'all /g

[fuckoffmightbetookind13]

💞💞

[analogue-dragon]

Rocky been posting, statement