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"cas doesn't understand the concept of personal space" no cas understands the concept of personal space just fine. he just considers dean's space his personal space

#i'm sorry this is a stupid post i'm just #going through clips to make an amv and cas is never in anyone else's bubble #when he talks to anyone else he usually stands at an almost calculated distance #but never with dean #romane posts #destiel #cas

actors saying stuff about their characters in interviews/on social media is not canon unless i want it to be. hope this helps

#jack is canonically nb alcal said it #blurry wife IS eileen fuck you j*red #romane posts

sometimes, castiel lets himself hope. hope that maybe dean could return his feelings, exactly the same kinds of feelings that he has for dean. after all, he does hear dean's longing. every time castiel is close to him, dean starts yearning. he feels it. it makes him step in even closer, invading dean's personal space because he is being pulled into it, drawn in by dean's silent cries of closer, please. so yes, cas hears dean's longing. but then he is reminded that longing is an inextricable part of who dean is. he was longing way before he ever met castiel. cas would know, he put dean back together. when he first met him in hell, dean was so loud with it, all fear and self-hatred and longing. aching to be touched, aching to be loved. castiel had left a mark on him then, a comforting hand on his shoulder, an always-there touch, hoping to remind dean that he had been seen and cared for. but because he met dean before dean met him, he can't trust the longing he hears now to be specifically for him. and maybe dean can't long for him specifically, would never be able to, because he's never learned to want anything for himself. and of course, dean loves him. cas knows that. he knows dean better than anyone or anything else in the universe. dean loves him, because cas chose him. nobody had even chosen dean before. castiel almost feels guilty for it, as he realises that he has made himself indispensable to dean. without cas's love, dean would fall apart. he would have long ago, if cas hadn't provided him with that small sliver of self-recognition. if cas hadn't chosen him, over and over, dean would have long given up. so yes, dean loves him, as a baby loves the hand that feeds it, as a dying man loves the steady beat of the monitor plugged into his heart. dean loves him because he is grateful to him. dean loves him because he needs him. but after all these years, dean still hasn't learned to see castiel as a person rather than a presence. dean still doesn't see him, or he would see the extent of castiel's love for him. dean never looks too closely at anything for fear of seeing himself in it. dean needs him but could never choose to want him.

#romane posts #there's more coming in my next reblog hold on #castiel #supernatural #destiel #ficlet #my writing #cas

thinking about what would have happened if cas' vessel had been gay. like if jimmy had been openly gay, or if he'd picked a different vessel. cas learning about the human world through the eyes and mind of a gay man. he would have kissed dean immediately because the voice in his head would have been like yeah man that's definitely a normal thing to do. just kiss the michael sword it'll make things better

#fascinated with the relationship between vessel and angel/demon #you're just sharing a body with someone #and have access to all of their thoughts and memories and you feel the way their body works and what it responds to #like yeah if i were michael i would have fallen in love with adam too #and cas and jimmy didn't spend enough time together + they weren't alone enough to really form a bond but still like #jimmy is bound to have influenced cas's world view at first right?#if i was trying to understand a world i wasn't a part of i'd definitely listen to the person i was possessing and pick up on their views #SO with that being said! what if cas's vessel was gay!#romane posts #cas #castiel #supernatural #spn #spn angels #destiel #rain posts

my personal headcanon for rufus and bobby is that rufus is gay and always had somewhat of a kind-of crush on bobby. not the full blown crush that makes you ache with want, more like "i'd fuck you if you asked". we've all had a best friend we'd fuck if they wanted. right? anyway rufus is totally normal about it. he flirts sometimes, for laughs. because it's fun to watch bobby get all flustered and stumble over his words. and bobby is totally fine with rufus being gay but he's not gay himself but like. maybe you don't have to be gay to be curious about kissing your best friend. gay, straight, what does it all mean anyway? all he knows is that when rufus joke-flirts with him he feels his stomach twist, in a good way. which doesn't mean anything. he's just flattered by the attention he's getting. except maybe when he's had a little more to drink than usual he catches himself staring at rufus's mouth when he's talking to him. and maybe he wonders what it would be like to kiss him. rufus has very full lips, and he thinks it would feel nice. and he's pretty sure rufus wouldn't mind. he's not stupid, he knows rufus sorta kinda likes him. in a best friend way. a gay best friend way. so what if he asked? and he does, except the words that come out of his mouth are "would you suck my cock if i asked?". and rufus stares for a second then shrugs and says "sure. are you asking?" and bobby thinks about it for a second but he's too drunk to really care about what this means for his sexuality. he's sleepy and he's curious and so he says "uhuh. i think i am. if you're down." and so he gets his cock sucked by his best friend. and it feels really good. nothing special about it, except it's his best friend. and well, if his best friend can be a good hunting partner, emotional support, AND give him a nice little blowjob after a difficult week, well. what more can he ask for, really. and sometimes he repays the favour, which feels weird at first but, well, when he thinks about it, he chops vampires' heads off for a living. this is actually the most normal thing he's done in a while. and sometimes after a hunt, after they've killed the monster, when they're left panting and full of adrenaline, one of them will kiss the other. not in a slow, sensual way. more in a passionate, "thank you for doing this with me" way. they'll grab the other's face and plant a big, bold kiss on their lips. kind of the equivalent of a "good game" high five. but for best friends who regularly suck each other off.