summary: roman is having a party, and peter shows up, uninvited. roman doesn’t seem to care. peter has to confess his feelings, roman is in denial of his own.
fic under the cut
peter knows he shouldn’t be here right now. outside roman’s house in the pouring rain, the shadows of people dancing to the music inside. he grabs the handle, pushing the door open, the music deafening now.
just find roman.
peter gently pushes through the groups of people towards the kitchen table. stopping by the cooler full of beer, grabbing one and popping the top off. finding a seat and tucking himself into it, watching the small crowd. couples dancing, some people finding their way upstairs to the spare bedrooms, some people not even bothering to find bedrooms.
and he waited.
to peter, it felt like time slowed and the music kept replaying the same exact song. it was beginning to overwhelm him, his chest felt like it was full of rocks and his head began to scream
‘get out get out get out’
he shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be desperately searching for roman through the faces. he shouldn’t be craving his touch, nothing would satiate his need. no one could, no matter who he tried to distract himself with. he would always find himself cumming to the thought of roman. peter swallows heavily and finishes his beer, getting up from his seat to find wherever the shots were being poured, pushing his way past a couple making out in the kitchen, by the sink, bottles of various whiskey, rum, vodka, and tequila sat. peter grabbed a fancy looking bottle of whiskey, screwing the top off and taking it back to his seat, and taking a long drink from it. his eyes scanning the room, back and forth, back and forth. until he sees roman. finally.
he took a few more drinks for confidence, before shrugging off his leather jacket, sitting it on his chair. making his way towards roman. pushing through the sweating, dancing, intoxicated crowd. peter finally reaches him, he looks up at him, roman’s green eyes meeting his.
“whiskey?”
is all peter can manage to get out, his hand subconsciously holding the bottle out to roman. roman smiles, and grabs the bottle, his fingers seeming to linger on peter’s for a moment too long to be just friendly. roman takes a long drink, and passes the bottle back to peter.
“thanks.” roman says, stepping a bit closer to peter.
words feel thick in peter’s throat, he swallows heavily, looking down at his own shoes. once again reminding himself, he shouldn’t be here. peter feels like he did the first time he experienced the change, his heart was pounding, and he was hot, his legs felt like jelly and his hands trembled. he could have began crying if he was drunker, his chest begins to tighten as his thoughts overwhelm him.
‘what am i doing here? this is so pointless. he wont even care..’
“come dance with me.”
peter looks up at roman, his cheeks hot and flushed red, and he can barely breathe. he nods and takes a breath, allowing roman to take the whiskey from his hand and pull him into the crowd.
everyone here knows roman, they all know that this isn’t normal for him.
peters hands slowly reach up to wrap around roman’s shoulders, one of roman’s hands holding peter’s waist. their bodies moving together to the music. roman turns peter around and grabs his waist, grinding against him softly. people giving the two of them disgusted glances every now and again.
roman doesn’t care that people can see him dancing with peter the way he was, he doesn’t care about his hands holding peter’s waist and pulling him closer, just for his lips to brush against peter’s neck.
“people are staring…” peter whispers.
“do you think i give a fuck?” roman growls, his grip tightening on peter’s waist.
“roman- please can we just go talk-“ peter sighs.
roman releases his grip on peter, rolling his eyes, taking his hand and pulling him upstairs to his bedroom, locking the door. the two boys sit on the bed, roman at the pillows, peter at the end, like they’ve always done. only this time, there’s a heaviness in the air.
“you wanna talk? about what?” roman asks, pulling a joint and a cigarette out from his pocket, putting both in his mouth, lighting them and hitting them at the same time. he takes the joint out and passes it to peter.
peter takes a drag.
“roman i-“ he pauses. roman’s eyes watching him intently.
“i don’t really know how else to say it other than, i can’t bring myself to enjoy fucking anyone, i can’t bring myself to enjoy being fucked because it’s not you. i swear i’ve spent more time jerking off to the thought of you than i ever have to the thought of any chick. i don’t know, i just have these feelings and it’s more than just sex, roman. it’s- god this is so fucking stupid i don’t even know why im saying this- i love you. and in more than a platonic way, i feel so much for you that i don’t even have the words to describe it. and i'm sorry that im just dropping this on you i can’t keep it to myself anymore, i just love you so fucking much i can’t think and i just sit there and smoke and think of you and dream of you and im so fucking hopeless, you’re my best friend and i’m sorry. and i know you’re not gay so i understand if you don’t want me around anymore, i get it. i’m sorry, roman. for everything. for trying to hurt you after i found out about what you did to destiny, i didn’t understand that it was an accident and i forgive you because my heart can’t take this separation anymore, i can’t handle the silence between us, you don’t call. you don’t text me. i’m ignored but i'm still so in love with you, if i didn’t love you even then, i wouldn’t have let you do what you did in the alleyway- i wouldn’t have let you drink from me. i love you so much roman that I'll supply you with blood for as long as i live just to be yours, my blood. please just tell me you love me, i need to be loved by you roman, please i lo-“
roman cuts him off by grabbing his shirt and pulling him in, kissing him roughly. peter hesitates for a moment before kissing back. roman pulls away, gently holding peter’s face. he takes a drag from his cigarette, before taking the joint from peter, and switching it with his cigarette.
“roman…”
“hm?”
“w-why did you do that?”
roman shrugs, and holds the joint out to peter. peter takes it and puts both the joint and the cigarette in the ashtray on the nightstand.
“what the fuck!?” roman gasps.
“roman why did you kiss me?”
“i wanted to i guess.”
“you guess? that’s not something that you’re unsure about..”
roman sighs.
“come here, peter.”
he slowly scoots himself closer to roman. roman gently placing his hand on peter’s thigh, giving a gentle squeeze.
“can i kiss you again?”
peters face gets hot, his throat feels dry and he can’t speak again. he nods. roman kisses him, gentle now, slow. he sits up to pull peter onto his lap. their lips and tongues tangled together sloppily as peter begins to grind against roman.
“mmm fuck that feels good..” roman groans, one of his hands palming at peter’s cock through his jeans, the other guiding peter’s hips.
peter can’t think straight, he knows he shouldn’t be doing this, he knows he’s only hurting himself. or maybe he’s not?
“please roman- i need you so bad.” peter whines, his cock straining against his jeans.
roman kisses down to his neck, licking and sucking. his own cock helplessly throbbing beneath his pants. he begins to mark one spot, just below peter’s ear, giving a gentle bite. roman drags his teeth gently along the bite mark scar from years ago, causing peter to moan.
that moan sent shivers down roman’s spine, and he wasted no time ripping their clothes off, kissing peter roughly while they undressed.
“can i suck your cock? please?” peter whines, his hand reaching down to stroke roman’s cock.
“you don’t need to ask to do that, mutt.”
mutt… it felt derogatory when he said it, but still, peter wouldn’t complain, he was exactly where he wanted to be.
peter smiles softly, opening his mouth and taking roman’s cock all the way into the back of his throat. roman reaches down and grabs onto peter’s ponytail, whimpering.
“god that’s fuckin deep-“ roman moans, his hands guiding peter’s head, slow and deep. peter just lets him use his throat like this, he’s a drooling mess, but roman looks so pretty. his eyes half lidded as he stares down at peter, his mouth slightly agape as soft moans trickle from his lips.
“good fuckin dog slut, drooling all over my cock.” roman moans. peter can’t help but grind his cock into the mattress, desperate for any sort of relief. moaning around roman’s cock, the vibrations from his vocal chords making roman’s hips buck, causing peter to gag.
roman pants as he pulls his cock out, gently holding peter’s face as he coughs.
“i’m sorry, baby. i didn’t mean to hurt your throat.” roman knelt down next to the bed, brushing peter’s hair out of his face, his hair having been messed up from roman’s grasp.
“it’s okay..” peter hums, leaning into roman’s touch. roman traces the bite scar on peter’s neck, humming softly.
“i haven’t tasted anything as sweet as your blood since the first time..” he grabs peter’s chin and tilts it, exposing his neck.
“really?” peter smiles.
“mhm. god it was basically like a drug to me, i hadn’t felt that high since i quit doing coke.” roman laughs softly. he turns peter onto his back, kneeling over him, roman leans in to kiss him gently.
“you want me, mutt?”
peter nods, his hand stroking roman’s cock. roman moans, kissing peter again, roughly this time. he trails down to peter’s neck, gently biting over the scar. peter whimpers, his cock twitching.
“fuck- please please please! god i need you so bad do whatever the fuck you want to me, i’m yours. i love you.” peter gasps as roman gently runs his fingers up and down peter’s cock, teasing him.
“anything i want?”
peter nods again, his hands tangling in roman’s hair to pull him in for another kiss.
“such a helpless mutt. you really can’t get off without thinking about me?”
“n-no i’ve tried so hard.. my mind always comes crawling back to you.. it always has.”
“how cute.” roman coos, kissing further down peter’s body, giving him small nips and bites on his stomach and hips.
“w-what are you doing?”
“what? i can’t return the favor before i fuck you?” roman smirks before taking the tip of peter’s cock into his mouth.
“fuck!- ah shit- you’re so drunk roman…” peter whimpers, his hips bucking into roman’s mouth. roman grabs his hips with his spare hand, holding them down, taking peter’s cock deeper into his mouth. peters hands grip roman’s hair and guid his mouth, slow and steady, up and down his cock. being careful to not go too deep.
“mm- have you ever done this before?” peter groans.
roman doesn’t answer, he just takes peter’s cock completely into his throat, moaning around it.
“god- oh fuck!” peter yells, he can’t help but buck his hips again at the vibration. roman just drools around him, continuing his slow and steady pace, deeper this time.
peters whines and moans drown out the music as he tugs at roman’s hair. roman moans, holding peter’s hips with his hands, digging his nails into them. he looks up at peter through half lidded eyes, and his heart almost feels as if it skipped a beat. strands of dark brown hair fallen into his face, his lips parted as he moaned breathlessly, his eyes on roman in awe.
roman picks up the pace, pulling back to focus on the swollen tip of peter’s cock, tasting the precum that had spilled out from him. peter bites his lip, his eyes rolling back and his head falling to the pillows.
“please please please! roman- god- i need you so bad.” peter whimpers, fucking roman’s face gently. his cock slick with drool. roman continues to suck at the tip, licking away any pre that comes out, before taking his cock all the way back into his throat, swallowing around it. peter fucks roman’s throat, his thrusts hard and feral as he whines and drools on himself.
“fuckin love you roman..” peter growls, tugging on roman’s hair again. his orgasm building slowly as he used roman’s mouth. he’s so drunk on love, but roman is just drunk. to peter, this means the world, to roman, he’s just another free fuck.
roman swallows around his cock again, holding it as deep as he can in his throat. peter whines as he cums. roman swallows as peters cum spills down his throat in hot spurts, his own cock dripping precum.
“jesus fuck- do you even have a gag reflex?” peter asks, holding roman’s face softly.
“no. i mean i don’t think i do, i've never done that before- sucked dick- i mean..” roman blushes. peter grabs his hair gently and pulls roman up to his face, giving him a deep kiss. roman moans into his lips, their tongues fighting for dominance. peter’s hands touching every inch of roman that he can reach.
“i need you so fucking bad, roman. please fuck me?” peter begs, nuzzling into his neck.
roman grabs peter by the waist, flipping him onto his hands and knees, facing the end of the bed. he pushes peter’s face into the mattress, tangling one hand in his hair, the other guiding his cock inside peter.
“oh fuck- god you’re so fucking tight, mutt..” roman moans, slowly inching his cock deeper into him.
peter whines and moans as roman bottoms out, staying still to allow peter to relax more. roman leans down and kisses peter’s shoulders, biting bruises into his skin. peter’s cock twitches and throbs with each bite. roman pulls out slightly just to thrust it back into him. peter moans, and his hand instinctively moved to his cock, slowly stroking it. roman fucks him slow and deep, marking and kissing his back and shoulders, he grabs peter’s wrist and moves it off his cock, replacing it with his own hand.
“oh god yes-“ peter whimpers.
roman picks up his pace, his cheek pressed against the warmth of peter’s back, his hand stroking peter’s cock in time with his thrusts. he moans into peter’s ear.
“you feel so fucking good, mutt. my dumb dog slut, so needy for my cock. i bet you’d come get fucked whenever i ask hm?” roman teases, sitting back up to fuck him rougher. his hand being pulled away from his cock.
peter nods, drooling on the sheets. roman grabs him by the hair, pulling him up against his chest. he grabs peter’s face with one hand, forcing him to look in the mirror on the wall in front of them. his other hand stroking his cock again.
“needy mutt. look at you. getting fucked like a pathetic whore. you begged so much for this. it’s what you wanted, pretty boy.” roman purrs, slowing his pace, peppering kisses up and down peter’s neck.
“m gonna cum again-“ peter whines, fucking himself against roman’s cock deeply.
roman picks up his pace again, maintaining the depth. his cock hitting just the right spot inside peter. roman moans, grabbing peter’s hair and pulling his head to the side to expose the veins on his neck. he sinks his fangs into peter’s neck. blood beginning to flow from the punctures. a love bite.
roman’s pupils dilate as he sucks the blood from him. his hips still as his cock twitches and spills his cum deep inside him.
“ah-! shit-“ peter whimpers as he is being slowly drained of his blood, his cock being drained of cum. he fucks himself into roman’s hand, cum dropping onto the sheets, covering roman’s hand. peter gently pulls roman’s hand off his cock, reaching around to play with his hair.
“more- keep drinking..” peter hums, still using roman’s cock. roman moans, his grip on peter’s hair tightening, sinking his fangs deeper into peter.
“god i fucking love you, roman.” peter moans, wincing softly at the pain. roman seemed to growl as he drank faster, he couldn’t stop. peter’s blood was so sweet and addictive, he started to feel high, his heart beating faster, his cock twitching again.
“cum for me, roman. please fill me up?” peter begs, pulling his hair harshly.
roman thrusts into him a few more times before he’s cumming again. his moans being muffled by his bite on peter’s neck. roman pulls his fangs out of peter’s neck, licking them clean, blood dripping down his chin. his cock following shortly after. peter whimpers at the loss.
roman falls back into the bed, resting his head on the pillows, catching his breath. peter lays next to him, resting his head on roman’s chest.
“i lov-“
“you got what you wanted. i got what i needed. why the fuck are you still here?” roman scoffs, lighting a joint, pushing peter off. he had sobered up now.
“i-i- i just wanted-“ peter’s eyes well with tears.
“wanted what? for me to hold you? for me to kiss you and caress your hair and play fag? want me to tell you i love you when i don’t! that doesn’t mean anything to me! you’re a drunk, pathetic whore, peter, and i don’t understand why you can’t see that i just don’t fucking love you! i’m not gay! i won’t ever be gay, so i don’t see your point in confessing all that shit to me when it doesn’t change how i feel! it can’t! use your dumb fucking dog brain to understand that i don’t want you.”
“could have fooled me when you had your dick in my ass and my cock down your throat. seems to me like i’m not the fucking fag here!”
roman punches peter in the face, seething with anger.
“i’m not a fucking faggot, and you know that. sex is sex to me. doesn’t make me gay.”
“you can sit here and deny your feelings and hit me and play with my fucking heart all you fucking want. i know that im weak enough to always come back to you because im not afraid to admit to myself who i am. i know that if you call ill be here, on my knees, doing whatever you ask me to, and letting you drink my blood because i know im a fucking drug to you. and i can’t stay away, ive tried. but i know that you need blood to survive and ill be damned if i don’t give you mine, just to feel closer to you because i know how good it makes you feel. you can pretend all you want but i know, i felt your cock get hard the very first time you drank from me, you were quite literally dry humping me, roman, and that was before i ever came out.” peter spits the blood that pooled in his mouth into roman’s face.
“get the fuck out.”
peter stands and dresses himself, glaring at roman with tears in his eyes. roman stares back, smoking his joint.
“i love you so fuckkng much roman, and you’re breaking my heart. i can’t promise to get rid of my feelings for you but i can pretend i don’t feel them when im with you, if that’s what makes you happy. if that’s what keeps you around. just please-“ peter begins to cry, wiping the tears from his eyes, blood streaming softly down his chest, staining his shirt.
“please just call.”
“i’d prefer if you just didn’t feel them at all. i’m not your fucking boyfriend or whatever you want me to be. but yeah, i’ll call. you’re only useful to me for one thing now.” roman spits. watching peter cry.
“just call me when you need me i guess..” peter chokes back more tears. roman glares.
“i lo-“
“say you love me one more time and i'm ripping your throat out.”
peter sniffles and walks out of roman’s room, tears pouring down his face as he silently cries, pushing past people, rushing out the door. he walks the entire way home, cold. having forgotten his jacket on the chair in roman’s house. the tears that spilled from his eyes making his face colder. as soon as he gets into his room, he curls into a ball, screaming and sobbing as he felt his heart shattering. the wound on his neck throbbed and his face was sore. he only stood to rummage through his closet for roman’s old pyjamas and a blanket from roman’s high school bedroom. changing into the pyjamas and wrapping himself in the blanket. even after all these years, they still smelled like him. they still held his warmth. peter stayed that way, sobbing for hours into the morning until he finally fell asleep. when he couldn’t cry anymore, and his eyes wouldn’t stay open, he allowed himself to sleep. holding roman’s blanket under his nose.
maybe i’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new.
aka the post-S1 Roman getting over Peter fic (sure Jan)
--
After things are settled at the Institute and Roman is declared ruler of all Hemlock Grove could possibly provide, Roman spends a month in Hawaii. It's nothing less than anyone expects, and it takes very little to meet the lowest of everyone's expectations.
One night he brings a boy back to his hotel instead of a girl. The boy has lightly tanned skin with a warm yellow undertone, and dark hair, and a scrape of stubble on his face. He doesn't look particularly like Peter, not anymore than a dozen other dark haired boys with facial hair would or could, but there is something in his scent, and Roman is hungry. He bursts like an overripe peach when Roman bites him.
--
something something Poppy Z Brite bullshit about semen and blood being so chemically similar, Roman topping himself off with blowjobs -- I contemplated merging this with a S2 fic I have where when Peter + Roman meet again Peter literally begs on his knees for Roman to help his mom and Roman will accept begging + an apology blowjob-- which is to say, a real blowjob focus in the WIPs today
thank you to @ardentlyopposedfoes for being a lovely beta reader and has been waiting on this fic since the 18th of march!!
Roman jolts awake when the car stops. They’ve been driving through the night, Roman passing out around 1 in the morning, listening to smooth easy jazz as Peter hummed along. His neck aches from where he had his head tilted backwards, and he turns from side to side to click it, looking around.
Peter is still sitting next to him, hands gripped tight around the steering wheel. He’s brought them to a stop in a church parking lot, surrounded by other cars and families in their best clothes. Roman accidentally catches the eye of a small girl holding her mother’s hand, and the girl looks away, afraid of him.
“Why are we here?” Roman asks blearily.
“I don’t know.” Peter replies. His tone is clipped, and Roman sits up in his seat.
“Are you okay?” He asks. He reaches out with one hand to touch Peter’s face, then reconsiders, so his hand hangs in mid air.
Peter lets out a sigh, and then turns his head so that Roman’s knuckles brush against his cheek. “I just- Wanted to come here. To talk. I don’t know. It doesn’t make much sense, does it?”
Roman wants to tell Peter that he can always talk to him, but he knows it isn’t true. Instead he draws his hands away, settling them in his lap. Peter is looking at him with big wide eyes, and Roman, who has never felt any faith, lies to him.
“It makes sense.” He says, “I understand why you’d want to come to a place like this.”
Roman casts a glance at the church. It’s a huge brown brick building with a white steeple that makes the church stand out, and a sign out the front with directions to the graveyard. There are also posters on either side of the double doors, proclaiming the terrifying and frightening work of Christ.
(Roman thinks he could give Christ a run for his money.)
yes, roman bit peter’s neck out of ‘anger’- but it was a desire he had long suppressed. way before anything happened between them. to taste peter’s blood on his tongue, pierce through his skin. feel closer to him, consume a part of him.
there were grudges being held. a bittersweet feeling lingered between the two- but there was never any actual hate between them. roman would have taken any excuse to bite peter in the past. but before all the bad blood between them, roman always decided not to- as he’d never want to hurt peter.
and no, you cannot tell me peter did not enjoy this. eyes closed, lips parted, it’s like he’s barely trying to stop him. roman gently holding peter’s face in his hands, forcing peter to look him in the eyes.
jayce talis’ “goodbye? viktor, you’re my partner,” or roman godfrey’s “it was stupid, i’m an asshole, i’m sorry, okay. but think about what you’re doing. you can’t walk away over some stupid thing like that, you can’t walk away from this,”
