Darling, I'm so sorry. You really don't deserve any bad things, you deserve happiness. I was happy you were going better a couple months ago. I want you to don't give up. I encourage you to send me a message anytime you feel like you need to talk. Maybe I'm just an strange person trying to cheer you up, but you know, sometimes that's what we need. I wish you the best. Keep strong! <3
I’m so sorry for making people worried.. its just, I needed to vent so badly.
And yes, I feel so much better just knowing my people are here and I can talk about things that are complicated and you still make the best effort to understand and ease whatever I’m feeling... its great and I think one of the reasons I’m feeling depressed now is exactly because I’m not being able to spend much time here and on the internet (in general), but it will be over soon and go back to normal... I’m just a drama queen bit prone to drama, but this shows how much I love being here on this little community and among the people I like so much.
I think that the root of many of my bad feelings is because my social anxiety kills me and prevents me from enjoying anything if there’s no time for me being alone at least a few hours a day... I get tremendously exhausted whenever I’m overexposed to people, that’s why I get depressed whenever I have to pass through certain very specific situations.
I’m also mad at this time of the year as I had to halt my most daring plans... of getting my dreamed citizenship. On top of that, the relationships within my family have become increasingly straining in the past few years, for very complicated reasons... this is also a source of stress...
But yeah, overall I’m better. My mind is much better. Absolutely no one can take anymore my health related complains but my mind is more focused at least... even if my body won’t respond the way I’d like it to... I’m just waiting until this time is over.
And you, how are things going? You’re always so considerate and sweet, sending me messages when I’m at need... and I just noticed I haven’t even been following you, lol... I see you have some awesome drawings too... nice to see this.