Just finished rewatching detentionaire because my cats spilled my wine on my computer and I have to use my shitty 8 year old school computer that can’t handle much more than the internet until my residency approves my request for a new computer and, like:
Why have I not found any gifs of that one scene where Lee and Holger (from school) are trying to hide Lee’s father, and Holger is like, “I could totally take all the unused body parts from the morgue and make a fake dead body version of your dad to give to the serpent.” And Lee just, like, yelps “NO HOLGER LET US NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN. DO LITERALLY ANYTHING BUT THAT,” before running off. Then Holger DEBATES IF RIPPING EVERYONE’S EYES OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS or disguising Lee’s dad as the patient next door is a more viable option?????
Why in God’s name did we not get the scene after Li dragged Lee’s dad off? Because he went from mildly homicidal to actively helpful??? Also why did Priscilla go from liking Lee to attacking him again? Got a reputation to protect in from of Li? Wouldn’t want him getting jealous, I guess.
Interestingly, their dad seemed to know what was going on the whole time, but their mother didn’t. We really never get to hear the story behind why Lee’s father knows so much but never thought to even vaguely warn his family. OR why he decided to settle down right next to the place he maybe knew his bloodline was needed? He trained Lee as a kid in swordsmanship...sorta? Also, he seems to hate hospitals, but became a doctor (or is that, like, a PhD kinda doc?), was that so that he could care from his family and keep them out of the records as much as possible? Maybe Li was taken while at a medical facility.
Good news is that it seems Lee is not a clone of Li (as the fish allergy is implied to be inherited and Lee is not allergic, see: eating fish pizza, that he threw at a guy, off the floor), nor is he the son of a clone (as his real mother immediately recognizes him after she is set free, indicating that she was likely cloned sometime during the show to provide an extra in with the Pings. Very early on, if we take Mr. Ping’s ‘She hates me!....Doing dangerous things, heheh’ from season...1? to mean anything. BUT THEN AGAIN THEY KICKED LEE OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR SEX AT ONE POINT JUST SAYING).
I got hit in the face with all the damn heteronormativity at the end of the last season, like, damn. Cam being gay was nixed, but an (almost) suicide-homicide via asphyxiation was fine??? (Sorry, guys, Kimmie is a largely unlikable character, I can never see her with Biffy long-term, and I’m hugely into the Biffy/Lee thing) At least we’ll always have Holger, who seems to have adopted himself into Lee’s family and just wants to snuggle with his parents.
What is the relationship between the Tazzleworms and the...under..ground......lizard people. Wow it sounds dumb when I summarize it. Sorry, guys, for those of you like, 5 years late to the party with pizza, this is a spoiler and it was giant underground lizard people all along. Like, the Tazzleworms were actual guardians of the pyramid whose’ purpose was to prevent them from ever getting out. The lizards apparently build this thing and placed guards to open it for the rest of them, but Finnwich’s narrative shows that the carvings inside, presumably from the lizards??? foresaw everything that has happened in the series so far. I guess someone forgot to tell the lizard guy. My guess is that there was a war between the Tazzleworms and the lizard people and, basically the Tazzes won. The red Taz doesn’t need the cipher to read his own language, so when he first entered the pyramid and he saw all that was to be, he helped warn the first Ping. Since then, ironically, the bloodline which was intended to act as lackey to the lizard people has become a guardian of the pyramid as well (which...would explain why Lee’s dad stayed so close to the pyramid and knew his way in the tunnels, I guess. Hmm. Answered my earlier question). Li’s pendant is actually proof of the Pings’ pact with the Tazzleworms, but I would wonder why he was allowed to keep it.
Other less serious wonderings:
Greyson never really owned up to the blackmailing in any meaningful way. I get the guy had to, like, eat a bug sandwich, and he was probably picked on more than that, but he really did some shitty stuff to people. Like, humiliation, bodily harm, forcing them out of their passions, and then basically planning on expelling them all. Super shitty, dude.
Why DID Li stop smelling badly, that one time????
Why was Beth made president after Cam was impeached? Was she...runner up? She appears to do nothing but devolve into her own LARP after ascending the throne...What happened to all those meetings that Cam had to go to? Do those still happen? Does the student council hold ANY power?
Where did Gretta go? I guess they just never patched things up after the whole love battle thing? The show played out like she sorta moved on and Holger got more invested in helping Lee than chasing her. He apparently comes to Lee’s house so often that Lee’s parents thing nothing of him diving out of their backyard when they get home.
Li was absolutely going to risk getting caught again so that he could choke out the lady who electrocuted his pet snake (who I assume is okay), and I am so down for that. I did notice that RKK didn’t show much in the last season. Guess things were getting too hot for her.
I dunno sorry for the rant. There isn’t enough well-written fanfic for me to work off my frustration that this series ended, so I had to rant.
