Heart with a Mind of its Own
summary: and they were roommates😌…oh my god they were roommates🥰 (if you know the vine reference i love you)
pairing: fem!reader x aaron hotchner
warnings: nothing but sweet stupid fluff and some kisses
An: this is for my sweet demented bestie, @shmaptainhotchner’s 1.5k celebration, congratulations again mimi, you deserve the world. prompts are roommate au and “you cancelled plans...for me?”. graphic is by my bestie @shmaptainhotchner!
word count: 6k
masterlist
When she decides to move in with Aaron Hotchner it isn’t because she wants to but because she knows that he’ll be a dependable roommate. It also works out in her favor that he won’t be there most of the time since he’s a traveling FBI agent. The first time she meets him she knows it’s safe to do this. While he’s attractive, he’s also stuffy and professional, something she knows she’ll never fall for.
Hotch, as he tells her to call him, isn’t worried about that either. He thinks she’s stunning, but idealistic, too sweet and funny to see anything in a guy like him. Unrequited love is not something his heart can handle, not after everything he’s been through. They’re both resolved and more than happy to view the other platonically. Neither of them can be bothered with it when the arrangement seems to come so naturally; hashing out all the details only takes half an hour. They both walk out of the coffee shop, heading their separate ways without a doubt that this was nothing more than a means to an end. A place to live.
Sometimes attraction sneaks up on you.
_____
What becomes her favorite memory of Aaron happens on the day she moves into the apartment she’ll share with him. Her family is across the country, and unsupportive and her friends are a bunch of wimps so it’s her and a u-haul on the day she moves in. That is until Aaron shows up.
She’s walking out of the apartment from propping open the doors when she sees him getting out of his car.
“Hotch?” She calls from across the parking lot. He flashes a small smile and waves. It's really cute, makes him look all shy and domestic in his jeans and green t-shirt but she knocks that thought away, far out of her head.
When he makes it across the lot to her, he holds his hand out for a handshake which makes her chuckle. “Hey. Have you started taking stuff in yet?”
“No, but what’re you doing here? You don’t move until this weekend.”
“I don’t, but I figured you’d need some help.” He shrugs, and she feels her entire body warm from his thoughtful gesture.
“You’re here to help me?”
“Yes. You’re my roommate, isn’t that what roommates do?”
“I suppose it is, especially when one is a very in shape FBI agent.” She says playfully, nudging his elbow with hers.
She doesn’t miss the way his cheeks flush or how his eyes flutter away for a moment. “Shall we?”
“We shall. Thanks for being here.” She says as she unlock and opens the back of the moving truck.
“Hey, it’s alright. I’m glad I could help you out, plus it puts my mind at ease.” He grabs a box that she remembers being quite heavy like it’s nothing, even stacks another on top of it.
“What do you mean?” She grabs a box herself, and they head towards the apartment.
“You’re young and single and attractive, and moving into a place seemingly by yourself. There are people out there that would want to take advantage of you. I’m hoping that with me here, anybody who would look at you and get that idea will know to leave you alone.” He replies as they make their way up the stairs.
“I didn’t think about it that way.”
“Your view of the world is much more optimistic than mine, it’s something I’m envious of. I’ll think about it that way enough for the both of us. Though I do think you should get some means of protection; pepper spray at the least.”
“Maybe one day you can teach me how to shoot that government issued glock of yours.”
“I’d be happy to.” He murmurs, glancing down at the block in his hands that says bedroom. She doesn’t know what to say back to him but luckily she doesn’t have to because he takes it upon himself to walk the box back to her room.
The two of them unpack the u-haul together in no time, he even takes the mattress and box spring up all by himself and she makes a mental note to figure out what his favorite dessert is so that she can make it for him when he moves in.
“I’ll see you this weekend.”
“Yep, I’ll have beer in the fridge when you get here.”
“Thank you. Have a good night Y/n.”
“You too, Hotch.“
When he moves in that weekend she helps him move in his stuff and then leaves him to his own devices as he fixes up his room. Once he’s finished, he makes his way out into the kitchen. There’s a beer and a plate of warm chocolate chip and pretzel cookies waiting for him on the island. She’s nowhere to be found but he glances down the hall and sees her door shut, light on.
_____
It should have been obvious. While neither of them spend much time with the other, the care manifests itself in such small ways over a long period of time that neither notice.
On a rare occasion they’re both home for dinner. She’s been planning to make dinner an event. She splurges on a perfectly marbled steak, plans to make it with a nice sauce and veggies. She’s even picked up a bottle of your favorite wine, and is pouring a glass when he walks through the door unexpectedly. She offers to share with him, it would be their first meal together. The steak was plenty for two people and though he initially protests one hour later the two of them are sitting at the kitchen table stuffing their faces. She gets to see a softer side of the man she thought was nothing but rules and regulations. It’s then that he mentions that he likes to have something alive in the house.
“You don’t strike me as an animal person.”
“I do like dogs, but I’m just not home enough for one. I was talking more about flowers or a steady fern.”
She raises an eyebrow at him, taking a sip of wine. “Oh, so what I’m hearing is that you like to kill plants?”
“Are you calling me a plant serial killer?”
“You said it, not me.”
“Since there’s two of us, would you be up for sharing the responsibility?”
“A plant baby?”
“Just occasional flowers. It could liven this place up.”
“Sure, I’d be up for it. What are we talking here? Roses? Lilies? Oh, my absolutely favorite is peonies, but they’re hard to get. Maybe daisies? The white could be good with the navy on the walls. Or we could paint?” When she start to ramble she doesn’t notice the smile that spreads across his face. He tells himself that its just because he likes to see someone so full of life and carefree.
Since dinner, like clockwork there’s a bouquet of fresh peonies sitting on the kitchen island as often as he’s home.
_____
While she absolutely loves the smell of coffee, she hates the bitter taste. She notices that he’s obsessed with it; could drink a whole pot in 2 hours if he’s working from home. She hadn’t even realized she was doing it but while she fixes her tea in the mornings she always starts his coffee machine. One morning as she’s pouring honey into a mug she reaches for the coffee in the cabinet to find its space empty. When she stops at the store that evening she stocks up, grabbing a few bags of his favorite coffee beans, as well as a new kind that she thinks he could try. She tells herself it’s what a good roommate would do.
Months later the two of them are getting ready in their respective bathrooms when he hears her groan in frustration, followed by a bunch of rustling and slamming of cabinets.
“Hey, are you alright?”
“Yeah, just annoyed. I thought I had a backup deodorant but I don’t.” She holds up the empty deodorant to him before throwing it in the trash.
“It’s not the same but do you want to use mine until you can grab some more?”
“Do you mind?”
“Would I have offered?” He asks, gesturing for her to follow him to his bathroom.
“No need to get smart, Hotchner.” She murmurs begrudgingly as he hands her the deodorant. She applies it quickly, her face heating a bit when she realizes that she’ll smell of him all day. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
When she gets home from work that evening there’s a note on the fridge saying he got called away. She heads into her bathroom to find a multipack of her favorite deodorant sitting on the counter, and it makes her heart beat quickly.
_____
Aaron realizes that he’s left his go bag at home. He doesn’t know how he could forget to bring one, he’s the boss for God’s sake and the one he’s left at home is the one he usually leaves in his office. He’s shit out of luck. Glancing at the clock he sees it’s only 10:30 so she should still be home. When he calls she sounds winded. Like she’s been doing those hiit workouts he tries not to watch her do.
“Aaron? Hey everything okay?”
He doesn’t know when she started to call him by his first name but he tries his hardest to ignore the feeling it gives him.
“Yes, don’t worry, everything’s fine. I think I left my go bag at home and I was just wondering if you could check for me?”
“Would be by the door, yeah?”
“Yes.”
“Black, sleek, full of a bunch of fed suits?”
“Y/n.” He scolds and she throws her head back in laughter.
“Yeah it’s here. I’ll be there in 20.”
She come here? That means he would have to explain to the team. He’s told them that he’s moved into an apartment and had a roommate. What he hasn’t told them is that that roommate is her. Time and time again he’d told the team that she was busy because they wanted to meet her.
His heart starts to beat faster at the thought of her here. “Wait, no, I can come get it.”
“It's on the way to the studio anyway, so I can bring it, don't worry.”
“You’re sure?” He sighs, realizing that he can’t say no to her even if he tries.
“Positive. Do you want coffee?”
“Yes, please.” He’s so polite, it makes her grin.
“Okay…more like I’ll be there in 25.”
“We’ll wait.”
When she walks into the bullpen she can’t help but notice how all the eyes of who she assumes to be Aaron’s coworkers are on her. She looks around, shifting from foot to foot as she realizes she doesn’t actually know where Aaron’s office is. One of the observant people who’ve been watching her finally speaks.
“Who are you looking for?” She’s slim and blonde and has the kindest eyes.
“Aaron. Aaron Hotchner, he’s the boss, I can’t remember the fancy title. Tall, kinda standoffish, very attractive.” The woman’s eyebrows shoot up at that last bit and she realizes she should’ve saved that for herself. She fiddles with the strap of the bag, “Just forget the last part.”
“Y/n.” Aaron’s standing at the top of the few steps that lead up to a landing and his office door. She walks over to him, stopping in the middle of the steps.
Her face warms at the thought of him hearing her say he’s attractive as she holds up his things. “Got your stuff.”
“And who might this be?” An older man with a goatee and tan skin asks as he comes out of his desk, a smug look on his face as he looks at Aaron.
“Yeah, please do tell.” The dark haired woman who was sitting at her desk is now leaning on the railing.
“You haven’t told them?”
Before he can respond, someone else is speaking, a blonde who has a bright outfit on and even brighter eyes. “Wait, who’s this, what am I missing?” Garcia’s eyes are bright and inquisitive.
Aaron gives out a resigned sigh, he knew that you meeting the team would be like this. “Everyone this is my roommate, Y/n Y/l/n. Y/n this is Dave, Prentiss, JJ, Morgan, Garcia. Reid’s around here somewhere.”
“Roommate?” Morgan’s looks between the two of you, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, roommate. You know when one person lives in one room of the apartment and another person lives in the other room and then they share common areas.” She looks over at Morgan, appraises him slowly while he narrows his eyes at her.
“Hey, it’s alright.” Aaron pats her on the shoulder, gives her a stern look to back down.
“Sorry, sorry, I just know how judgy people can get. It’s nice to meet you all, truly. I should go though I have a class that starts in,” she looks down at her watch, “20 minutes. Bag. Coffee.” She hands them off to Aaron.
“What do you do?” Emily asks, head tilted in curiosity.
“I teach pottery classes at an art studio.”
“We should do that, sir, can we do that?” Garcia looks up at him. There are only two people that Aaron has a hard time saying no too; Y/n and Garcia.
“Yes, sure, Garcia.” He says softly, slightly exasperated.
She turns to Garcia, grabs her hand in a friendly gesture before starting down the stairs. “I’ll get your email for him, we’ll make a night of it. Again, great to meet all of you. Be safe, Aaron.”
There’s a flurry of you toos and excitement around the prospect of a night out but Aaron can’t take his eyes off her. This went much more smoothly than he thought it would. And they like her.
“Always and you too.” He tells her.
She gives everyone a kind smile as she walks towards the bullpen door. As she pushes it open she turns around. His coworkers are all gathered together at a desk, no doubt talking about her but she can’t be concerned with that. She glances past them quickly because Aaron’s still standing at the top of the steps outside of his office watching her. Her smile widens and she gives him a little wave. In true Aaron fashion he gives her some semblance of a smile and a stiff nod.
She pushes through the door, shaking her head as she bites away a smile. She tells herself the smile is because she’s done a nice deed for a friend and met some new customers.
Sometimes you just don’t stand a chance.
_____
Aaron’s favorite memory of her solidifies when he comes home one day to find her in the kitchen baking.
Her hair is up in a bun, flyaways strewn messily around her head. Face bare, swallowed in a large black hoodie covered in flour, she looks as though she’s having the time of her life. She clearly doesn’t hear him come in, evident by the way she hums to music that must be playing through her earbuds and the gentle sway of her hips. He keeps himself hidden, peeking through the doorway just enough to see her but so that she can’t see him. He can tell that she wasn’t expecting him home so soon; he’d forgotten to let her know he was coming home today.
It smells of cinnamon, and what he thinks may be pumpkin. He watches her begin to mix some sort of icing. He loves to see her like this, relaxed and happy, not worrying about walking on eggshells around him. He knows that she can find him a little intimidating, especially with the difference in age and career path. It started to feel creepy after a moment, so he makes his presence known to her, causing her to jump slightly.
“You’re home.” The smile that spreads across her face makes him want to gather her into his arms and kiss her until she’s soft and dizzy.
He shakes his head to get rid of the thought. “Yeah, no case today, just heaps of paperwork.”
“Well that’s perfect because now you can help me eat all this, I made way too much.”
“Way too much of?”
“Well it’s fall, so lots of pumpkin; muffins, scones, and last but certainly not least, cinnamon rolls.”
“That sounds great. I need to shower and then I can make us some tea to go along with everything?”
She’s surprised he suggests tea since he prefers coffee, but hums in approval. “Oh, um, sure. Yeah, that sounds great.”
When he comes back out into the kitchen, she’s swirling icing onto a pan of cinnamon rolls, already finished with the scones and muffins. She’s already started the electric kettle and he has half the mind to scold her since she’s already done so much.
“What goes best with pumpkin?” He claps his hands together, looking at her expectantly.
“Chai. It’s the orange box.”
“Got it.”
“Dessert for dinner, my favorite.” She licks the leftover icing off the spatula once she’s finished and he scolds himself for how attentive he is to the action.
“You’re the only person that could get me to do this.” She throws her head back in laughter at his words, and he feels that pull to scoop her up again.
Grabbing plates out of the cabinet she says, “Well you’re welcome, because I anticipate that this is gonna rock your very structured world, Hotchner.”
The goofy smile on his face is one she can get used to. “Can’t wait.”
There’s a comfortable silence as she places one of each dessert on the respective plates and he sets the tea bags into each of the mugs. She sets the full plates on the kitchen table and turns on the tv, flipping to some comedy movie that’s playing. When she turns around her breath catches at the most welcoming sight she’s ever seen. Aaron Hotchner looking down at a cup of tea, steeping the bag with his tongue running over his bottom lip in concentration.
“I think on the box it says it has to steep for 5 minutes?” He looks up at her, completely unaware of his effect on her.
“Coffee guy learning about tea, look at you expanding your horizons.” She teases, sitting down at the table.
They laugh and talk easily, and finds herself wanting this to be the norm and wishing that this meant more than two roommates that live together.
When he goes to bed that night he replays the last few hours over and over in his head. He wants the memory for safe keeping, for when he’s on a case that’s too tough for him to process and needs an escape. He continues to tell himself that it’s just a crush. She’s just a friend, the feelings will fade and he’s just protective of her. But why would he dream about you if it wasn’t more?
_____
Months pass and they continue to do whatever this back and forth is. She doesn’t let herself read too much into his nice gestures and neither does he. It’s easier to accept that they’re just roommates and the string connecting their two hearts remains invisible; though with each gesture there is a tug.
It’s a Friday afternoon when she gets a text from him. The texting when he’s on the way home has become frequent and is almost always sure to brighten her day. Today is different though; as she reads the text her heart sinks.
Aaron Hotchner: On my way home, it was a terrible one. You’re out tonight right?
She opts to call him instead, wanting to hear his voice to know just how much of a rough one it is. They still aren’t very close but she could always notice how he pulled away even further when things were too hard. So many times she’s wished he would just talk to her about it. They’re roommates, it’s what roommates do. She figures that it has to do with her being almost 20 years younger than. She assumes he thinks he would taint her with his horror stories, but bearing the load with him was something she wouldn’t mind.
“Hey?” His voice is a mixture of confusion and surprise when he answers but he can’t explain why hearing her voice makes the tight coil in his chest completely unravel. His team is watching him, and he has the mind to keep his eyes trained on the floor when he gets up to head to the back of the jet for privacy.
“Hey, I just wanted to check on you.” She says timidly, biting the tip of her thumb nervously.
“Oh, uh, I’m alright I guess, the case, it just was…I don’t know. I can’t put into words how sick it was.”
“I’m so sorry, Aaron. Anything I can do?”
He clears his throat and she can practically hear him fidgeting through the phone, uncomfortable with her line of questioning. “No, no, I’m alright, really. You’ll lock up on your way out, yeah?”
She lets out a breath, dropping her shoulders. She wishes he would just talk to her, but doesn’t push further. “Yeah. Be safe.”
“I will. You too.”
“Of course.”
His voice was soft and guarded the entire conversation. It causes some unidentified emotion to lance through her heart as she hangs up. It’s clarity, as she didn’t realize it was so strong till this moment. She feels something…intense for him. The irrational part of her wants to panic and completely withdraw from him. But the part of her that feels something for him has her switching to a different text thread and cancelling her plans.
Sometimes it hits you like a freight train.
She’s shrugging into her jacket to head to the store when her phone rings; it’s Simone, one of her friends. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Are you okay?”
Her face wrinkles in confusion. “I’m fine?”
“You cancelled plans and didn’t expect me to call for an explanation?”
“It’s Aaron, he had a rough day.”
“Okay, I’m tired of the stupid back and forth and all the pining. Are you finally going to admit that you have feelings for him?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”
“Yes, I have feelings for him, I realized that when he sounded so sad on the phone and all I wanted to do was be there for him.”
“What’re you gonna do?”
“Make him dinner, be a good friend.”
“That’s it?”
“Simone, he’s substantially older than me and probably sees me as a kid.”
“Didn’t you say you come home to your favorite wine in the fridge?”
She rolls her eyes and a humorless chuckle slips out of her. “It was one time and it was one bottle.”
“And the flowers?”
“His idea, not mine.” She counters.
“The deodorant?”
“No one wants a smelly roommate.”
“Honey I don’t think he’d do all these sweet things for you if he only saw you platonically. The signs are all there, if not for the romcom drama, do it for me.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Fine, whatever. What are you making?”
“I have no clue, I don’t know what his favorite dinner is.”
“I would stalk his social media for you but there’s barely anything on it. You’ll figure it out, and when you do I want all the juicy details.”
“Yes, fine, juicy details, you got it.”
When she makes it to the store she’s still racking her brain for ideas of what to make him. Nothing seems to fit as she stares at the options at the meat counter but then she’s hit with an idea. She’ll make him the same meal they had during there first ever dinner together. She buys the beer he prefers and a bottle of wine for herself, before getting the rest of the ingredients and dessert. It’s when dinner is almost done and brownies are in that she hears the door unlocking.
He steps into the apartment and freezes when he sees her. “Hey, I thought you weren’t going to be here when I got back. You had plans.”
“Well, I did, but,” She shifts from foot to foot, looking down at her fingers that are knotting together before continuing, “you seemed so down when we were on the phone earlier and I don’t know. It didn’t feel right for you to come back to an empty house.”
He comes further into the apartment after dropping his bag at the door. “You cancelled plans...for me?”
“Yeah. I mean, we’re friends, right?”
The timid sweet look on her face and the gesture to make him feel better breaks his resolve. He surprises the both of them by crossing the space and pulling her into a hug. She forces herself through her shock to return it so as not to hurt his feelings. “Y/n, of course we’re friends.”
She pulls back after a deep breath, her head swimming with scent. “Good, I thought so. Dinner’s almost ready and desserts’ in the oven. Why don’t you take a shower and then we can eat and watch a movie or something?”
He blinks in surprise, though she can tell that he’s pleased. “Sure, that sounds really nice.”
She watches him walk down the hall, his hand loosening his tie as he goes. It’s overwhelmingly domestic, like she’s watching your boyfriend walk down the hall, but she knows that’s not what this is. Aaron would never see her that way and now that she’s acknowledged these feelings she feels like she can start to move on.
As she plates the food she wonders if she really will be able to move on. It might be impossible if she still lives with him. Would she have to move out? Remove him from her life entirely?
“You alright?” His soft voice pulls her out of thoughts and she blinks a few times, before looking up at him.
How long had she been standing here? Long enough for him to shower and be back here with wet hair in a white t-shirt and grey joggers.
“Yes, I’m good, just spaced.” She looks down at the food in front of her, busies herself with finishing the plating.
He comes to stand next her, picks up her wine glass that’s almost empty. “More wine?”
“Sure. Thanks.” She gives him a soft smile as she brings the plates over to the table, taking a seat. He tops off her wine and grabs a beer out of the fridge, giving out a hum of approval as he notices it’s his favorite.
Dinner is delicious, he doesn’t let her go a few minutes without complimenting the food and she’s warm and shy, tells him it’s nothing. They talk easily as always, but more personally. The small talk is scarce, he finds himself unable to not ask her questions about her. He asks her about films and books and her favorite places to travel. She’s happy to tell him, it means she gets to ask some questions of her own. Somehow tonight seems different. They’re no longer holding back things they want to say, not thinking about all of their titles. Tonight it’s just the two of them, two people eating dinner together completely entranced in the other. They are all brushing hands, eye contact and laughter.
“Thank you for all of this, I needed it.” He says as he takes his last bite, washing it down with the last of his beer.
“It was my pleasure. I’ll clean up and you can choose a movie? It shouldn’t take me too long.” She stands and starts to reach for the plates but one of his hands comes to rest on top of hers. It’s warm and rough, and feels so right.
“You cooked, I should clean. You get to pick the movie.”
She looks up at him and into his sweet brown eyes. “You’re sure?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
“Alright. Thanks, Aaron.”
“No, thank you. This was great. Is great.” He nudges her shoulder in response before he clears the table and makes his way to the sink.
She follows him, snagging her wine glass before he can put it in the sink. “I’m gonna have another glass of wine, do you want that? Another beer?”
“I’ll just have what you’re having.” He turns around to give her a smile and she can’t help but return it as she pours the two of them a glass of wine. Picking a movie is easy, it’s fall and so a scary movie seems like the best idea. She chooses her favorite which is one that she knows he likes as well, before curling up on the couch with a large woven blanket. It’s one big enough for the both of them, though she’s not sure he’ll join her under it.
Once he’s loaded the dishwasher he plops down onto the couch beside her. She holds out his wine glass, and his breath catches in his throat when their fingers brush. She thinks nothing of it, press play on the movie before snuggling further down into the blanket.
“Do you mind if I-“
“No, of course, go for it.”
She holds her death as he lifts the covers and shifts closer to her. It’s draped over his waist and over most of her. One of his arms comes to rest behind her on the couch, and she lets go of the breath, realizing that he probably notices how tense she is. All of her thoughts are focused on him, and he’d be lying if he said he was paying attention to the movie. He doesn’t even know what’s happening on the screen though he’s seen the movie multiple times. All he can think about is the smell of her perfume and the way her thigh is against his. He realizes that he can’t hold his thoughts in any longer; he has to take a chance and hope she feels the same. At the least, he can tell her and move on if she doesn’t.
“Y/n?” He murmurs softly.
“Hmm?”
“We should talk.”
“About the case? I’m all ears.”
“No, not that. I-“
The silence between them is thick as he tries to figure out the best way to go about telling her. His mouth opens, and closes again. She can’t bring herself to look at him, not yet.
“I was a fool.” He whispers, turning his head to look at her. The arm resting behind her comes to curl around her shoulders, but it could still be friendly. That’s what she tells herself; it’s friendly until he says loud and clear that it’s not. She turns to look at him as well, their faces just a foot apart.
“Why?” She breathes, fighting so hard to not let her eyes fall to his lips.
“To think that I wouldn’t fall for you. To act like you’re not it for me. I was a complete and total fool.”
“Then I think we were two fools.” She places one of her hands on top of his.
“Yeah?”
“Of course, dummy.”
“Hey, there’s no need to call me names.” He gives her shoulder a playful pinch, which makes her squeal.
“You started it!”
“You’re right I did.” His face grows serious as he continues to gaze at her, leaning in to close the space between them.
Her eyes widen in understanding when his eyes flick down to her lips and back up again. “Aaron…” She breathes.
“Tell me to stop and I will. If I’m going too fast, just tell me.”
“No, don’t stop. I’ve wanted this for so long.”
When their lips meet, they both give out a big sigh, and she sags into him. Luckily, he’s ready, has been ready to hold her like this for as long as he can remember, and both his arms are around her to crush her to his chest. A squeak of surprise comes out of her, and his tongue is in her mouth in an instant. Their lips move together like two parts of one whole, her hands coming up to cup his face. Once they finally break apart she is in his lap, blinks a few times as she realizes what’s happened and then burrows her face in his neck.
“You tried to keep me at arm’s length but you’re great. You’re kind and caring and though you have some baggage and a job that can take it out of you, you’re incredible. I’d be lucky to get a chance to be with you.”
“You got all of that from me avoiding you as much as I could?”
“We had dinner together a few times, remember? And much as you think you’re this broody man, all your emotions are right in those beautiful brown eyes.”
“Of course, I remember. I think about our time together more than I thought I should. I just didn’t realize that you were seeing me in that way.”
“It was impossible not to.”
“It was, wasn't it? I tried. I tried so hard.” He shakes his head, runs his hands up and down her back.
“I did too, I didn’t think that you would want me.”
He chuckles, and she feels it rumble in his chest, deep and hearty. “I didn’t think you would want me.”
“Aaron, you’re all I want. All I think about, all the time, ever.”
“The words don’t even exist to convey how I feel about you. I think that’s maybe why it took me so long to realize in the first place. You’re incredible, so different from me and yet here we are. You’re the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to bed. It was impossible not to like who you are, let alone love you.”
This is what makes her sit back to look at him again. He can’t help but think about how cute she looks, a dumbfounded expression on her face with eyebrows knit together. “Love me?”
“Totally and completely.”
“I’ve never…no one’s ever loved me before.”
“I’m glad I can be the first.”
“I think I want you to be the last.” She leans in to give him another kiss, this one short and sweet, but meaning just as much as the first. “I love you too, by the way.”
“Yeah, I was hoping you would say that.”
“Well I did. I love you.”
“How do we do this?” He pulls her close again, tucks her under his chin, finally able to bask in the warmth of her body against his.
“I don’t know, I’ve never dated my roommate before.”
“Well we still sleep in separate rooms until we’re comfortable?”
“That’s fair. Hmm, we need to make a list.”
“We still keep bills separate.”
“I agree with that one as well.”
“Just because we’re dating now doesn’t mean you can steal my beer.”
“I bought that beer.”
“Yes for me.” He stresses the last two words with an eyebrow raise.
“Never thought you were so possessive, Aaron Hotchner.”
He sits her up, pulls her flush against him so their noses are almost touching, maintaining eye contact. It makes her breathless and woozy, her heart beating rapidly. “When something is mine, I want it all to myself.”
“I’m yours; mind, body and soul for as long as you want me.”
“I couldn’t imagine a time where I wouldn’t want or need you. We’re different but it works and I love that about us. I love that about you.”
“Can we make that list later? You’re being really sweet and I just wanna kiss you some more.”
“You can have whatever you want, baby.”
She looks at him with this dopey look, one he wants to see for the rest of his life before she knots her fingers into shirt, pulling him in for a kiss so deep and thorough that all he can do afterwards is look at her, just as dopey.
Sometimes a heart has a mind of its own.
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