Mini Meta: Strawbarrow’s confession scene!!!
So look. I know they never actually say, I love you, but here’s the thing, you don’t need to say the words “i love you” to communicate that you love someone.
Take a look at this scene:
Gyrus here knows he’s going to die. But that’s not what he’s worried about. He’s worried Kodya will die with him, and is using the last of his energy to beg him to leave him and escape. And this isn’t a new conversation by any means. Gyrus has pushed Kodya and the rest of his friends in the room of swords away again and again for the sole purpose of keeping Kodya and the other’s safe. Gyrus doesn’t want to isolate himself, he hates being alone, but he’s also a very selfless person who’s willing to suffer for everyone else’s sake. And in that selfless self sacrifice, he’s also very short sighted and self-destructive, thinking he can take on all the burdens himself.
But Kodya doesn’t let him. Kodya constantly pushes at his walls, coming back time and time again to risk his own life to stand beside Gyrus and support him, by being his apprentice, to being his teacher, to being his boyfriend. He’s not leaving Gyrus, he care’s to much about him to let him suffer through everything alone. He says “I’m not leaving you” but what he means is, “i want to stay by your side.” He wants to be with Gyrus, no matter what the cost, and for Gyrus, who hates the isolation he forces himself to endure, this is exactly what he needs to hear.
And Gyrus’s response is really telling:
Because even if Gyrus doesn’t want to be alone, and needs to have people stick with him, he still doesn’t want Kodya to stay with him, in the dangerzone, sticking stubbornly to his side. Gyrus knows Kodya loves him. He knows Kodya often prioritizes Gyrus’ life over his own. And Gyrus is not okay with that. Because Gyrus does not, and never has considered Kodya’s life as less important. He has never seen Kodya as the errand boy Kodya sometimes fears he does. Gyrus, who is so selfless, who places everyone’s needs and the fate of the universe over his own desires, is finally communicating what he wants. “I want you to live” is Gyrus’ way of saying Kodya’s existance is the one thing he is unwilling to compromise on, the one thing he will place the universe and destiny and even the Masonaire on hold in order to ensure. Kodya’s survival is his one selfish wish, the one thing Gyrus wants in all the universe. And for Kodya, whose been let down time and time again, to hear Gyrus insist that he values him and wants him to be okay is exactly what he needs.
And yeah, Gyrus gets cut off before he can say “I love you” but at this point he doesn’t need to. Because he just made it clear to Kodya how much he values him, even over his own goals, which is what Kodya was really worried about. And Kodya in turn, has made it clear to Gyrus that he’s not going to leave him to face his fate alone. They’re able to soothe each others fears and express their love, and really, what’s more romantic than that?