🍁🍁Comfy-vember🍁🍁
Day 10: Sharing a bed | Lullaby
Grant Ward & Rose Ward, Agents of SHIELD, Saving Grant Ward AU, implied/referenced abuse
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He didn't sleep for two nights after The Well. He paced instead, a caged animal, unable to quiet the frantic questions, the wild fears, the burning hatred that battled in his mind.
His father believed Christian, of course. Mother had threatened to kill him, but settled for locking him in his room as much as possible. And Thomas would not look at him.
But on that third night, Rose came, all tiptoes and whispers and key fumbled in her little hands. She slipped in like a burglar, and shut the door behind her, leaning back against it for a second, all wide blue eyes and quick breathing. She was wearing one of Grant's Star Wars t-shirts as a nightgown.
He didn't quite believe it at first, too worn and wild to trust what he was seeing in the night. And how had a four-year-old gotten the key?
"Rosie?" he murmured, sitting down suddenly on the bed, and she came running, leaping to hug him, and knocking him backwards.
She was so small and warm and soft in his arms, and she clung to him like a koala, burying her face against his neck.
He lay there, staring up at the shadows on the ceiling, stroking a hand over Rosie's back, thoughts gone suddenly quiet.
"Did you have a nightmare?" he murmured.
"Can I sleep with you?"
He snorted softly—as if he would say 'no' to that tiny voice.
"Sure, Rosie-Posie."
She giggled a little, rolled off him to sit up and stare down at him. "Why aren't you in your pyjamas?"
"Because I haven't gone to bed yet?" He squinted up at her, poked her gently in the belly. It had to be a game for her, that was the only way to keep her safe. "I'll go change in the closet. You check under the bed for spies and aliens."
"Okay!" Her giggle was enough to make him relax, even as he thought again how careful he had to be to make sure she never got hurt. "Go!" She shoved him toward the closet, and he went, laughing quietly.
They knew how to be quiet.
There were no spies or aliens or even dustbunnies under the bed, and before he could come diving under the blankets to join her, Rose waved a hand toward the lamp on his desk.
"Turn off the light. It's safer in the dark."
He knew what she meant, he agreed, so why did that make him sad? Why did it feel wrong? He padded back to his bed, stepping sure in the dark, crawled under the blankets next to Rosie.
"Grant?" She came snuggling in tight to his side, heavier and warmer than his teddy. He was too old for a teddy bear, but he was old enough and big enough to protect his sister. And no one would ever hurt Thomas again.
"Yeah?" he whispered.
"Can you sing?"
He yawned, tried to push aside the idea of something pressing down on him, crushing him. Nothing could find them in the dark. "Okay." He didn't feel like singing, he was so tired, but Rosie... Rosie needed him.
What should he sing? He didn't really know any lullabies. He thought of his piano teacher, her little smile as she sang along with his playing...
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine...
He felt Rosie sigh against shoulder, relaxed and safe.
You make me happy
When skies are grey...
He shut his eyes, wrapping an arm tighter around her.
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away...
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She heard him singing from the kitchen, as she wiped the table down. The dishwasher hummed, and Earl was whistling somewhere upstairs. But she heard Grant's voice, drifting from the living room, soft and slow.
The other night dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms...
Damp cloth in hand, Rose walked to the archway that led into the living room, peered in.
The Christmas tree shone softly, surrounded by a jumble of unwrapped presents. Coulson dozed in the armchair, feet up on the ottoman. And Grant lay stretched out on the couch, with Jason curled on his chest.
When I awoke, dear
You were beside me
So I held you close and smiled...
Tears filled Rose's eyes, and she had to turn away for a moment. Jason was so tiny under Grant's hands, folded so gently and protectively over him, and she remembered with sudden clarity the sense of safety and warmth she had known, curled up against her big brother's side in the dark, many times throughout their childhood.
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine...
A great jumble of emotions welled in her heart, as Grant sang now to his nephew, the little one they'd both sworn would have a better life. And it starts here, she thought. It starts with Christmas laughter, and a man back from the dead, and my brother singing a new song, a better one.
Grant sang on:
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
You have been my sunshine today...
