-- tenebrousThorns [TT] began pestering grimAbettor [GA] at 14:59 --
TT: My cat seems to enjoy floating.
GA: What Is It About Ascension Your Feline Companion Finds Gratifying I Wonder
GA: If I Were It I Would Probably Be Confused And Somewhat Alarmed
GA: Then Again He Seems Unfazed By Most Things
TT: We could always try a side-by-side comparison.
TT: I believe that is what is known as "science."
TT: You can be the control group.
GA: The Control Group As In Not A Cat
GA: Wait
GA: Rose This Means Youre Better
TT: I still need to take eyedrops. And wear protective goggles with some sort of fluid in them for two hours a day.
TT: It is terribly inconvenient.
GA: A Necessary Evil I Suppose
TT: Though I was going to spare you the worry until I was certain that you were feeling better, as well.
GA: I Am Better Than I Was Though I Dont Suppose Ive Entirely Bested It
TT: I suppose it must've been from Thera. Is there nothing you need?
GA: An Airborne Animal Sounds Appealing Though That Has Nothing To Do With My Recovery And More To Do With The Fact That It Is Adorable
TT: We could be sitting on the first true homeopathic cure in the known galaxy.
TT: It's like rabbit therapy, but with flying kittens.
GA: Whats Rabbit Therapy
TT: Sorry, pardon me.
TT: Hopbeast therapy.
GA: Do You Speak To The Hopbeasts About Your Woes Or Are They Just Supposed To Be Adorable
TT: They have long ears for listening.
GA: Are They Of Relative Ease To Obtain
TT: I'm fairly certain I could find a few lagomorph, depending on the planet we land on.
GA: I Wouldnt Mind Experiencing Human Rabbit Therapy
TT: I'll make a formal request.
TT: A second room to serve as a warren for the purposes of engaging in the Human Rabbit Therapy.
GA: I Know You Are Probably Being Facetious With That Statement But I Think That Sounds Like A Great Idea
GA: In An Ideal World No One Would Have Qualms With A Room Dedicated To Small And Presumably Affectionate Animals
TT: I don't know, Kanaya. Am I going to have to feed them and take care of them all by myself?
GA: That Seems Unreasonable
GA: Perhaps We Can Arrange Shifts For Rabbit Duty
TT: And pray that TUMUT internal affairs never asks why we have an entire room dedicated to keeping pets.
GA: It Should Be Self Explanatory
GA: We Could Release Them The Next Time We Are Spontaneously Boarded
GA: Our Enemies Wouldnt Stand A Chance Against The Power Of Human Rabbit Therapy
TT: And I thought this job couldn't get any better.
GA: There Are New And Creative Ideas Waiting To Be Explored
TT: And piles of rabbit crap.
GA: I Can Only Assume This Is Part Of The Human Tradition
TT: A long and storied human tradition.
TT: Are you virulently infectious?
GA: No I Dont Think So
TT: It's not too much of a risk, then.
TT: Most of my wounds are closed. I can show you what the new tech looks like.
GA: Is It Safe
TT: It's safe.
GA: Ok
GA: Im Not Sure What The Appropriate Thing To Say Will Be Upon Seeing It
TT: I'm not really expecting any proper appropriate thing.
TT: I'm more hoping to demystify the frankly sort of weird shit in my life.
GA: Yes
GA: Ok
GA: Sorry
TT: I delight in being an object of fear, michief, and mysterious intent to most.
TT: You would be among the few exceptions.
GA: Im Not Afraid
GA: Just A Little Nervous
GA: But I Know I Shouldnt Be
TT: Are you at work?
GA: Sort Of
TT: Does that mean you're in the kitchen?
GA: Im In My Block Giving A Remote Order To Store All The Fish For The Co Captains Private Consumption
TT: What?
GA: Its A Stupid Story
TT: Why all of it?
TT: I don't think he could possibly eat all of the fish on board before it spoils.
GA: The Question ReallyBegs To Be Asked Doesnt It
GA: But Nonetheless
GA: All Of It
TT: ...May I at least ask on whose order this is being carried out?
GA: I Suppose The Nature Of Black Affections Tend To Get A Little Carried Away
GA: Its Uh
GA: It Was Through Vriska
GA: Which Sounds Like A Terrible Source Of Any Sort Of Order
GA: And It Is
TT: I suppose there's at least some good reason to play along.
GA: Yes
TT: Aside from irritating Eridan.
GA: I Find It Easier To Justify When He Asked Me To Do Something Very Similar Once
GA: He Will Probably Be Completely Fine With Such An Excessive Request In His Name
TT: I suppose so. Just don't get in trouble for it.
GA: Unless Of Course She Intends To Fill His Block With It
GA: I Am Already Sort Of Regretting This
GA: I Dont Know How She Convinces Me To Do These Things Sometimes
GA: Anyway Im Done Making What Is Probably A Mistake If You Want To Come Over
TT: Alright.
TT: -She knocks on her door after a few minutes. -
GA: -Kanaya is a little slow to answer the door, mostly because getting out of her human bed is less appealing than it had once been. She never really used this thing before, and now it was just so... comfortable and convenient. She smiles once the door slides open, though, hoping not to betray how not-great she's still feeling and making room for Rose to step inside.- Hi
TT: Hey, Kanaya.
TT: -She doesn't really look all that great, anyways, and she rests one of her hands against her forehead to feel her temperature.-
GA: -She probably feels warmer than usual, if the difference is distinguishable enough, but Kanaya is opposed to returned fussing.- Im Fine
TT: You look exhausted.
GA: Im A Little Tired
TT: Okay. Well.
TT: Sit down.
TT: You are not going to be straining yourself on account of me.
GA: -Well... she can't think of a good argument for not sitting, and she definitely wants to, so she plops back down on the bed.-
TT: You do feel a little feverish.
TT: Have you been drinking fluids?
GA: Yes
GA: Fluids
GA: I Have Plenty Of Fluids
TT: Congested? Sneezy? I don't know, any number of other symptoms that may play in a commercial for cough medicine?
GA: Mostly Tired And Uncomfortable
GA: Is Uncomfortable A Symptom Word
TT: It counts, I suppose.
GA: My Body Feels As If Doing Most Things Is Inherently A Bad Idea
GA: Which Is True I Guess
TT: It's fine. Just lay down.
TT: You don't have to do anything.
GA: Ok
GA: -And she's doing just that, sighing meanwhile. She's better than she had been, but not amazing.-
GA: Are You Going To Show Me Still
TT: It's not all that much to see. -She removes her headband. Part of her hair was shaved, and there's a few visible pieces of tech set into her skull. There appear to be a few light emitting diodes to signify that they're functioning, matching the color of her eyes.-
GA: Oh
TT: They light a bit. Some of the diffusion is still visible, when I use my abilities. -She demonstrates, the cybernetics glowing faintly as she makes one of her fingers glow with some faint psionic energy.-
TT: Spooky.
TT: -She affects a mocking tone as she waggles the glowing finger, before cutting it off entirely.-
GA: -That was certainly... a reaction she just had. She's not certain what else to say. It looks fine, she supposes, for being metal in her matesprit's head. The glowing is kind of neat, though... And it's something they have in common now, she thinks with a stramge hint of amusement.-
GA: It Looks
GA: Solid
TT: I also got a corneal implant. That's mostly for me. Mostly invisible, as well.
GA: For You
TT: So I can moniter my abilities. Throttle them. Most of the tech handles it, internally, but for when it doesn't, or when I have to push myself...
TT: I can see what I'm doing better.
GA: Oh
GA: Yes That Sounds Like It Was A Good Decision
GA: Is That Why The Goggles And Eyedrops
TT: -She nods.-
GA: -Kanaya takes a breath and nods a little back, eyelids fluttering, and she manages another smile up at Rose, and she sort of just... wants to reach out a hand to touch her, so she does.-
TT: -She rests a hand on top of Kanaya's.-
TT: I manage to make it out of the infirmary, and here you are sick not long after.
TT: We've got a pretty terrible run of luck.
GA: Yeah
GA: It Feels Like Ive Missed You For Too Long
GA: -She's quiet for a moment.-
GA: Are We Still Ok
TT: I know I missed you.
TT: That has to count for something.
GA: -She's quiet again, and her hand shifts, taking Rose's in it and holding tighter.-
GA: Sometimes I Just Think Things Must Begin To Feel Different Eventually
GA: That Maybe This Exploration Wont Feel So Mysterious Or Dangerous
GA: Or I Might Stop Wondering How It Is I Feel About All The Things I Feel
TT: I suppose there is the inexorable decay of entropy.
TT: -She sighs.- I'm not sure if that's to be taken as a positive or a negative.
GA: I Dont Know
GA: I Just Dont Want
GA: To Lose Touch
GA: And Sometimes I Worry That I Already Have
TT: I'm not really used to the idea of...
TT: -She gives her hand another squeeze.- This.
GA: I Guess Im Not Either
GA: But I Want To Be
GA: I Just Wish It Would All
TT: -She frowns.-
TT: Kanaya,
TT: Is it always pity, with trolls?
TT: It does seem reductive. That there's really only shades of hate or pity in your relationships.
TT: I'm given to think of it as machismo.
TT: Naught more than empty bravado, that other lives are either contemptible or beneath notice, insofar as most relationships are concerned.
TT: But I... I've been wondering, I suppose.
TT: What you think of that.
TT: You would've grown up with it.
GA: Its Not The Way It Sounds
GA: Weve Never Been An Especially ... Empathetic People
GA: But Being Vulnerable Is Dangerous
GA: Even In Quadrants
GA: Trust Is Difficult
GA: For Many I Suppose The Terms Are True
TT: I suppose especially so in regards to quadrants.
GA: The Terms Reflect An Image More Than A Capability
TT: I guess it would have to.
GA: But I Dont Think I Would Be Able To Give You The Best Answer
TT: If the terms were wholly accurate, then the ideal mate would be one who couldn't survive in a society like that.
TT: I don't need the best answer. Just... yours.
GA: Then ... I Suppose We Are All Just As We Allow Ourselves To Be
TT: When we started this, I did not hold back at all. It was just...
TT: This large, squirming ball of what I'm sure were incredibly unflattering emotions.
TT: I'm not sure what I have to offer you beyond that, anymore.
GA: -Kanaya just squeezes her hand again.- Its Not What You Think It Was
GA: And I Dont Think Its What You Think It Is Now Either
GA: Ive Always Been Glad
GA: For You
GA: Overjoyed Really
GA: Maybe A Little Overwhelmed But In The Best Kind Of Way
TT: -She smiles, subtly, wrapping both hands around Kanaya's and resting her head against it.-
TT: Well, so have I.
TT: By you.
TT: And everything about you.
GA: I Wish It Were Easier To Focus On Nothing But That
TT: You are one of the best people I've ever have the privelege of knowing.
GA: Do You Ever Wonder What It Might Have Been Like
GA: If We Had Just Left
GA: Like We Said We Might
TT: I haven't thought about it in a long time.
TT: I suppose the familiarity of living on the road again would be easy enough to settle back into.
GA: -She can't help it anymore, with all the things she's thought and hasn't said, and before she can think enough to stop it, tears roll out of her closed eyes, her brows pinched, jaw tight.-
TT: -She tries to smile at her, but the sight kind of hurts her to see. She kisses her hand again, just leaning over her.-
TT: I'm sorry.
GA: Aradia Is Still Not Herself And I Dont Know If I Can Help Her
GA: I Havent Spoken To Karkat In-- I Dont Know How Long-- And Im Not Sure Why Anymore
TT: -She frowns, looking down at her. Karkat-- that kind of surprised her to hear.-
GA: I Dont Know If Theres Anything I Can Fix Or If Anything Can Be Fixed At All
GA: I Feel As If Im Just Watching Everything
GA: Fall Apart
GA: And I--
GA: Dont Want That With You
GA: I Dont Want You To ...
TT: Kanaya.
TT: -She lets her hand drop, stepping back and beginning to climb off of the bed.- I...
TT: -Deep breath.- I didn't ask about pity because I felt like you were treating me wrongly.
TT: Or that this... feels wrong, somehow.
TT: Aradia died, the ship has been attacked. Something worse is likely nipping at our heels at this very moemnt.
TT: I know it's not easy to deal with. I am just... afraid.
TT: That I am going to become a problem. A responsibility.
TT: A flighty broad that can't take care of herself.
TT: I know you worry about me.
GA: -She can't quite bring herself to finish. She's not even sure if she knows what she was going to say, what she could say. If there's anything more to say. It feels like tears are the only things that want to come out right now, but she manages to keep them as quiet as she can. She's a little afraid to look at Rose, that she might expose her to something worse if she does, but as Rose continues spe
GA: aking, she has to open her eyes, to seek her out. Of course she worried about her, but... Then, a part of her feels she can understand Rose-
GA: *Rose's fear-
GA: -It isn't because she considers Rose a burden, that she believes it's true. But if she were in Rose's position, surely she would feel the same.-
GA: I Want To Be Here With You
GA: I Want To Be
GA: Enough
TT: -She almost regrets releasing her physical contact. She moves closer to her again.- You are enough. I promise you that
TT: There isn't anything more I could think to ask of you.
GA: -She isn't sure what to say that would help, that would make her believe it. She's not sure how to make things better herself, only that she doesn't want to feel this distance, the loss of Rose's hand that felt like a thousand miles.-
TT: -She climbs onto the bed again, slumping back, laying almost bonelessly. One of her arms comes to wrap around her, and she buries her face against Kanaya's shoulder.-
TT: I refuse to let you think otherwise of yourself.
GA: -She can't stop herself from holding Rose close, keeping her there now that she can. It's difficult to think, to admit, but with everything that had happened, Vriska's arrival had only made things more uncertain for her, in every aspect of her life. It wasn't just those strange hints of residual feelings; it was the way being around her made her feel at all, so out of control of what happened, walking on eggshells, and the closure that had never come weighed heavily on her heart. She had told her she let it go, but now more than ever it was obvious that wasn't true. She felt like a child again, lost and confused and watching everything she knew seem to fall apart around her, and Rose had been the closest constant she could think to turn to anymore. Of course watching her in pain, watching her hurt and afraid had worried her, terrified her. But it wasn't because she felt obligated to feel that way. It was far from it.-
TT: -It is all too appropriate, the two of them in their present conditions-- Kanaya, with her energy drained, feverish and lethargic, Rose, with her all-too-obvious scars and not-yet-recovered mind. It was hard-- hard because she always felt like she was being hurt, that her history was nothing but one long partially-healed wound. Nothing to share but grisly stories and her own pain. If nothing else, though, this was proof enough that she could at least help shoulder Kanaya's, to any extent that she could manage. She wasn't yet sure of Vriska, and Kanaya's former relationship to her. But perhaps that too was what stuck out to her. How much she seemed to resent the woman for the risks she took with herself, the danger she sought out, and the consequent injuries they always left her with. It was a cruel coincidence that the two woman wound up so similar, at least in so many superficial ways.-
TT: -She curls up around Kanaya, arms wrapping around her.-
TT: I don't want to lose you, either.
GA: -Kanaya supposed that was enough for now. Neither of them could make promises or guarantees on how the future might go from here, nothing but the feelings they had, the desire to keep fighting. It was something to hold on to, more than the fear and the doubt. Kanaya would have to face the problems and the people that weighed on her soon enough, but for now, she had this. Something that had meaning. And now, the outpouring of emotion left her feeling more exhausted than ever as she spoke, light and feverish.- I Wont
GA: Im Not
GA: Letting Go
TT: -She presses her lips to her, wherever she could find.- I know that. I'm not going anywhere, either.
TT: -She still felt warm... warmer than before, really.- You need to rest.
GA: -She hums a soft noise that might be agreement, but it's uncertain. With Rose this close, coming down from the feelings she finally got out, it seems the need for rest already has its claws in her, and there's a noticeable easy shift in her breathing soon enough.-
TT: Good-night. -She's already out, but she kisses her again anyways, more for her own sake. She wasn't really tired-- physically, at least-- though the thought of leaving her arms did not cross her weary mind, instead just staying close at her side as she slept.-
