Shingeki no kyojin was a long road for me. Even though it was published for the first time back un 2009 I began to follow the story on 2012, at first only the anime and then I gave up and read the manga. I remember I used to wait for the first few days of each month to see what would happen and I felt anxious every time the date was coming near, not knowing who would die or who would make it for another chapter.
Today I finished reading the last 3 chapter of the manga and between many considerations and tears, I can finally say that the story, specially the end, has left me a sensation of tanquillity, because after alll, it's like closing a chapter in my life. A chapter that brought me anguish, joy, anger and also gave me the oppprtunity to improve my writing, creativity and revalue many conceptions I had towards life and people in my personal life.
Also, Thanks to shingeki no kyojin, hence Hajime Isayama, I was able to meet wonderful people that I can proudly call my friends today. I also met people from other countries and other points of view, which has been really enriching.
Today, I close this chapter in my life (which doesn't mean I won't keep wroting snk fanfic!) and I leave with a great smile on my face and with all the memories treasured in my heart.
I'd like to give a shout out to @rosirinoa for providing us Rivetra fans with so many engaging and original stories. She's really sweet and kind too :)
I've been wondering, what is the weirdest thing you've ever found William doing?
The weirdest thing I’ve ever found him doing?Hmm… One time I flew to a local convention called ‘Pigeon Con.’I thought it was for pigeons, but there were just a lot of people dressed up in pigeon costumes. I was really getting kind of scared.Luckily William was there (for some reason) and hid me in his costume before anyone tried to pick me up.
Night has always brought along tranquility and calmness, but ever since the 57th expedition finished, Captain Levi hasn’t been able to find peace, not even in the loneliness of his room. During the day, all treasons, titans and everything the legion discovered about their enemies keep him alert and restless, but when the sun sets, the losses stalk him in every shadow and every thought he managed to avoid during the daylight.
Levi knows this night, just like many others before, sleep wouldn’t be easy and resigned, he lights a candle to avoid the gloom that threats to consume the best of him. There is something comfortable in that tiny light in the middle of darkness.
The Captain sits in the chair in front of his desk, ignoring the pending documents and gets mesmerized seeing the candle’s flame, which moves, dancing to the rhythm of his breathing, but sometimes it remains still as if it was observing and expecting something from him. Suddenly, she comes to his mind; that person whose loss hurt him the most during the last expedition. Truth to be told, all his squad was eliminated, except for Eren, and even though he would remember them for the rest of his days, like a scar that would relive what he could have done and didn’t, the loss of the girl with honey eyes would be a wound that could hardly heal.
Candle lights make him think about Petra. The enthusiasm she showed when she was determined to do something always showed in her bright eyes. A brightness that, just like the flame, seemed to shine every time her gaze met his, warm like each one of their kisses and the contact between their skins every time they touched, no matter how quick the moment passed.
Remembering her once more, Captain Levi feels a deep pain that gives him chest tightness and briefly leaves him breathless, while he tries to suppress the huge desire to cry he has accumulated along his life. For a moment, he turns to look through the window behind him, but almost instinctively his eyes set again in the candle, which has become the only thing that could led Petra back to him, and where he finds the last remains of warmness now that she’s gone.
But just as ephemeral are those instants of light and warmness, in contrast to the moments after the candlelight extinguishes and only the smoke remains, as well as the remains of everything once was.
With resignation, Levi thinks that, just like the smoke goes up to the sky, almost leaving without a trace, the spirit of the brave girl that was once part of his squad travels up to sky as well, finally spreading wings of freedom and showing him one last smile before going away.
And then finally the long-awaited sleepiness reaches the captain, right before leaning forward to his desk and closing his eyes, he hears Petra’s voice calling him. He knows it’s impossible, but he still closes his eyes, as if he was trying to see her again and when he feels a chill down his spine, he stand up and looks at the door, where he though the voice came from, knowing he would never see more than the candle smoke, continuing its way to the sky.
Author’s notes:
This is part of my writing for Rivetra trick 2020. It’s been a long time since I’ve written rivetra, and I haven’t written anything lately. It’s been a tough year for everyone and I think it show in the gloominess of this drabble. To be honest, it was quite difficult for me to write it. I didn’t know how to do it but after all, I think it’s not that bad, although it’s more melancholic than what I usually write. Anyways, I hope you liked it!
By the way, "candela" is a synonim of candle (vela) in Spanish.
We all wear mask to show around everyone else. As much as we try to be sincere, our attitudes change depending on who’s accompanying us and we adapt to the environment and people, wearing masks to hide our feelings and fit in better.
I am not the exception. Since I was a little girl, I tried to be a good daughter with my parents and, when my mother passed away, the façade of daughter became tougher so my father wouldn’t worry about me. We both got along very well since I was little, but when only the two of us were left out relationship became closer and I tired to help him by dealing with some house chores, but years later I knew my place was somewhere else and I began to consider joining the army.
The stories and legends of the things outside the enormous walls always seemed fantastic to me and my wish to protect my dad and close people were enough to make me join the scouting legion. It was then when I began to wear my soldier mask, which wasn’t only rigid, but it could also be adapted to any dangerous situation where I had to test my strength, but when my training was over, and I finally wore the wings of freedom in my back, the soldier mask wasn’t enough anymore.
I realized my mask no only had to be strong and skilled, it also needed courage, intelligence and compassion; something I never though it would be necessary in the army. It’s a shame I didn’t understand that until my first expedition was over, but without a doubt, that experience would mark me forever and the mask would become part of my identity, not only because I needed it to survive, but because we never knew when it will be the las time we spend time with a colleague and kind words of encouragement are always welcome.
A couple expeditions later, I was chosen to be part of the special operations squad, and its leader would be Captain Levi, with whom I had spoken a few times before, but beyond his fame of being “humanity’s strongest soldier”, I always thought he was a brave mane with a superhuman ability to eliminate titans, which made me admire him almost immediately.
Since the first time I saw him using the 3d maneuver gear, I knew he was extraordinary, but what caught my attention the most about him, was all the mystery around him. Captain Levi’s serious and sometimes rude demeanor is part of the mask he uses to protect himself from the constant losses of soldiers and comrades; something quite frequent in the scouting legion. And on top of that, I could tell he’s had a harsh life.
From the beginning, the captain managed to see through my mask, being that one of the reasons why he chose me to be part of his quad, along with my abilities with the 3DMG, and the more I spent time with him, the more I learnt to read him, without noticing he did the same with me, forming some kind of complicity that is hard to explain, but that slowly turned into something else.
Hiding my feeling towards him was very hard, even when I built myself a mask to conceal how fast my heart beat every time we spoke, or the happiness I felt when we spent time together alone, working in his office. I spent so much times trying to hide behind that mask, that I didn’t realize he could perfectly see right through it, and little by little, he took his as well, showing himself as he truly is.
I’ll never forget the first time we took off our mask in front of each other in that autumn night, when he looked relaxed and comfortable while we finished arranging the horses for the training next day. Our eyes met, noticing something different inside them and, as if it was inevitable, we kissed.
That was the first of many kisses, and for the both of us, the first chance to look at each other without remorse or masks. Without a doubt, something I never thought I would find in the scouting legion, but that I’ll cherish for the rest of my life.
Notas de la autora.
Story for Rivetra trick. I hope you liked it. This one is happier than the first one lol. It’s been a long time since I wrote from Petra’s pov, and I enjoyed it a lot! I really miss this, so as soon as I finish with all my stressing duties, I’ll keep writing more.
I realy hopw you enjoyed rivetra trick! The original idea was from a friend of mine, but unfortunately,she doesn’t have tumblr, but you can always check her beautiful stories in wattpad, Look for her as @MelMew-Smith
Todos tenemos máscaras para mostrarnos ante los demás. Por más que deseemos ser sinceros, nuestras actitudes cambian dependiendo de con quién estemos y nos adaptamos al entorno o las personas, llevando máscaras para ocultar nuestros sentimientos o encajar mejor.
Yo no soy la excepción. Desde pequeña procuré ser una buena hija con mis padres y, cuando mi madre falleció, la careta de hija se endureció para no causarle molestias o preocupaciones a mi papá. Ambos nos llevamos muy bien desde que era pequeña, pero cuando nos quedamos los dos solos, nuestra relación se volvió más cercana y yo procuré ayudarle haciéndome cargo de algunas tareas domésticas, pero años después, supe que mi lugar estaba en otro lado y comencé a considerar unirme al ejército.
Las historias y leyendas sobre lo que había afuera de las grandes murallas siempre me parecieron fantásticas, y mi deseo por proteger a mi padre y a la gente que me rodeó durante mi infancia fueron suficientes para unirme a la legión de reconocimiento. Fue entonces que, desde la academia militar comencé a portar la máscara de soldado; una que no sólo era rígida, sino adaptable a cualquier situación de peligro y donde tuviera que probar mis fortalezas, pero al terminar con mi preparación, y portar formalmente las alas de la libertad en mi espalda, la máscara de soldado no fue suficiente.
Me di cuenta de que mi máscara no sólo debía ser fuerte y tener habilidad, sino que necesitaba coraje, inteligencia y compasión; algo que nunca pensé que sería necesario en el ejército. Es una lástima que haya comprendido eso hasta que terminó mi primera expedición, pero sin duda esa experiencia me marcaría para siempre y esa máscara se volvería parte de mi identidad, no sólo por la necesidad de sobrevivir, sino porque nunca sabremos cuándo será la última vez que podamos pasar tiempo con alguno de nuestros colegas y las palabras de aliento y amabilidad siempre son bienvenidas.
Algunas expediciones después fui, escogida para formar parte del escuadrón de operaciones especiales liderado por el Capitán Levi, con quien en pocas ocasiones había entablado conversación, pero más allá de su fama de ser “soldado más fuerte de la humanidad”, siempre me pareció un hombre valiente y con una capacidad casi sobrehumana para eliminar titanes, por lo que despertó mi admiración casi de inmediato.
Desde la primera vez que lo vi utilizar el equipo de maniobras 3d, supe que era extraordinario, pero lo que más me llamó la atención de él, fue todo el misterio alrededor de su persona. El semblante serio y en ocasiones rudo del capitán Levi son parte de la máscara que usa para protegerse de las pérdidas constantes de soldados y camaradas; algo muy frecuente dentro de la legión y este mundo acechado por titanes, además de la ardua vida que ha tenido.
Desde el principio, el capitán ha sabido ver a través de mi máscara, siendo esa una de las razones por las cuales me escogió para formar parte de su escuadrón, junto con mis habilidades con el equipo de maniobras, y entre más pasaba tiempo con él, aprendí a leerlo con más facilidad, sin darme cuenta de que él hacía lo mismo conmigo, llegando formar cierta complicidad difícil de explicar, pero que poco a poco se convirtió en algo más.
Fue difícil esconder mis sentimientos hacia él, incluso tratando de construir una máscara que ocultara lo rápido que latía mi corazón cada vez que hablábamos, o la felicidad que sentía cuando pasábamos tiempo a solas trabajando en su oficina. Pasé tanto tiempo intentando esconderme detrás de esa máscara, que no me di cuenta de que él podía ver perfectamente a través de ella, y poco a poco él se quitaba la suya para mostrarse tal como es.
Nunca olvidaré la primera vez que nos quitamos las máscaras el uno frente al otro, aquella noche de otoño cuando él parecía sentirse relajado y cómodo mientras terminábamos de alistar los caballos para el entrenamiento del siguiente día. Nuestros ojos se encontraron, notando algo diferente dentro de ellos y como si fuera algo inevitable, nos besamos.
Ese fue el primero de muchos besos, y para ambos la primera oportunidad de mirarnos sin remordimientos o máscaras. Sin duda, algo que nunca pensé encontrar en la legión de reconocimiento, pero que agradeceré toda mi vida.
Notas de la autora.
Esta es mi segunda aportación para el Rivetra trick. Espero les haya gustado. Es algo mucho más alegre que el primer escrito del evento y creo que es bueno quedarse con un bonito sabor de boca.
When he hears Petra’s words, his mind becomes blank and he doesn’t know what to say. The girl’s eyes let him know that she’s waiting for an answer, but Captain Levi is incapable of doing so. Lucky for him, some steps are heard. They’re approaching the kitchen and they both turn to look towards the door, which opens after a couple seconds and a tall man enters the room.
“I was sure that peculiar smell was black tea” Mike smiles when he sees both cups on the table, but soon notices the tense atmosphere between Levi and Petra, who are still standing next to the stove.
“It helps when you can’t sleep.” Petra says and with a fast movement she salutes and goes back to her room.
“Did I interrupt something?” Mike anticipates the answer, but he knows that in order to get a direct and somehow clear answer from Levi, he has to ask the same way.
“Just tea time.” The Captain takes the cup in a very peculiar way and takes a sip.
Minutes later, he goes back to his room, this time he is not carrying any candles to illuminate his way and he walks as stealthy as possible. He doesn’t want to meet Petra and feels relieved when he doesn’t see her in the middle of the hallway or next to her door. It’ not like he dislikes the idea of spending time with her; on the contrary, it’s just that he doesn’t know how to answer to her words. She used that decided and brave tone he always found comforting in the middle of the battlefield, but in that occasion, she said something he could have never anticipated.
“Captain, I believe that… no, those are not the right words… what I mean is that… I’m in love with you.”
Levi lets himself fall into bed as he remembers what just happened. He doesn’t have the slightest idea of what to do, or what could have led the soldier to say such thing, although deep inside, he knows that’s a lie. He noticed the slow change in Petra when they were alone. From the first time she found him on the stairs and offered to make some tea to help him fall asleep, everything started.
The Captain knows it. Slowly, the line that regulated their interactions began to fade away and he didn’t do anything about it. He never wanted to. He just let it go and succumbed to the temptation of enjoying every instant with her during those insomnia nights. He remembers each of the occasions when he could have stop it, every time he allowed his eyes to linger on her figure longer than necessary, those accidental touches and the small smiles he showed her from time to time; smiles that only a handful of people had seen.
He is sure he won’t be able to sleep tonight. His mind is a whirlwind and the frustration begins to invade him, his ideas fight each other between what he has to do and what he wants to do. Even though he reaches an answer, he completely ignores how to act upon it. Dealing with his feelings is unnecessarily frustrating and irritating.
Finally, he decides it would be better to speak with Petra and he plans to do it first thing in the morning.
When the first rays of sun reach his window, the Captain puts on his uniform and walks with steady steps towards the girl’s room. His hands seem sweaty and he notices his jaws clenching, until he realizes the door is open and the girl is nowhere to be seen. Could that be related to what happened the night before?
During breakfast, the dining hall is noisier than usual but his squad members notice that Levi had a rough night and they chat among them in a low voice, until Oluo’s exclaimed when he saw Petra approaching, picking the Captain’s attention.
“Where were you Petra? We though we would have to split you breakfast share.”
“It was my turn to clean the stables.” She smiled and then looked at the Captain, saluting him with formality.
Levi just nodded. The girl’s cold attitude puzzles him but soon, Petra begins to talk with her colleagues, as if it was a normal day. Morning training is just like always, but the Captain feels uncomfortable. He tries his best to keep his gaze away from the girl and ends up getting in a bad mood. By midday, he is thankful to be called to a meeting with Erwin. Nevertheless, he regrets not being able to talk to Petra alone, although she seems to be doing everything on her power to avoid him. During the afternoon she offers to help another squad with laundry duties and during dinner, she sneaks back to her room, saying she’s not feeling well. Of course, Levi knows that’s a lie and fears she won’t ever talk to him again.
Later that night, dejected and with his head hurting, Levi goes back to his room, stopping n front of the girl’s door for an instant. He knows she’s inside, but he prefers to give her some space and continues walking.
A couple hours later, after uselessly trying to sleep, the Captain decides to stand up and turn on the candle on his desk, then he goes to the hallway, walking with slow and hesitant steps, and as soon as he is in front of Petra’s room he stops, just as he did many times before, hoping she would come out to meet him or that he would gather the courage to send everything to hell and knock the door.
Three soft knocks and he waits patiently for her to open the door. He knew she is inside and he doesn’t have the slightest intention of leaving without speaking to her. The girl seems to know it, so she opens the door a moment later. Their eyes meet for a second. Then, she looks away and feel her cheeks getting red, remembering everything she did to avoid him that day, and while she does it, the Captain’s mind becomes blank once again.
After a few instants of silence, he manages to say something.
“Petra, I…”
She makes a gesture so he would remain silent. She doesn’t want anyone to listen to them and she invites him to her room. The door closes behind her and she takes the candle to put in on her desk so it lights the room better and before she turns to look at him, she bites her lip nervously.
“Captain, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that yesterday and…” he looks at her with worry and sadness.
“Are you taking it back?” he asks her, waiting for an answer, but now she is the one whose mind is blank while her eyes show great frustration.
Levi knows he’s not good with words, much less ordering his ideas during emotional situations, so he acts instinctively and takes a step forward to get closer to her, then he slowly raises his hand to touch Petra’s cheek, giving her time to take a step back in case she wants to, but she doesn’t.
She is astonished but she doesn’t move an inch. She only closes her eyes when she feels the Captain’s breath tickling her cheek and his warm lips on hers. They both kiss with precaution, as if they feared what could happen and then Levi separates himself from her a little.
“Please, don’t take it back.” There was sadness in his glance, but at the same time his eyes shone when they met hers “insomnia nights are better when I’m with you and when I finally fall asleep, I can dream without worrying about the nightmares.”
Levi knows he can appear vulnerable in front of her, not fearing to be hurt. Wounds from the past have left many scars on his soul, but she doesn’t seem to mind it, for she knows there’s no one unscathed in their reality, including her. She is willing to make him forget about all that and she shows it to him by kissing him again, with the candle light on their back, as their only witness.
Author’s notes.
As promised, here’s part two. Today’s prompt was “blank”. I hope you liked it and see you next time!
Having difficulties to sleep wasn’t something usual in Petra Ral. The harsh training sessions and tiresome expeditions are enough to leave her almost exhausted every day, and when her days are normal, she takes the opportunity to recover energies and finish her pending issues. On the rare occasions she can’t sleep, she remains in her bed, looking through the window and gazing at the stars in the night sky. She imagines a better world, without titans or any dangers for humanity; endless possibilities and hypothetical scenarios where she is not a soldier, but a merchant, a countrywoman, a teacher or a normal housewife with a nice family… and before her imagination goes any further, she falls asleep.
And yet, that night is different. A few minutes passed after she began gazing at the sky, when a light passes right in front of her door, followed by a shadow she can’t quite recognize. The light barely passes through the door’s wood, and it would be imperceptible is she wasn’t awake.
Petra is sure it’s a soldier patrolling the barracks, or perhaps going for a midnight snack but she finds it curious that their steps cannot be heard. Could it be that they’re trying to sneak out? That floor is destined for the special operations squad and a couple of the new recruits, so she fears the worst, knowing that desertion is severely punished, and without a second thought, she leaves her bed and goes out to try to persuade the soldier.
Petra’s Pajama is very simple and comfortable for sleeping, but not the best clothing to walk around in the middle of the night, and soon she starts to regret not having something else to cover herself. When she reaches the stairs, she is ready to go down and find the soldier who’s trying to escape, but the light is nowhere to be seen and everything is in silence, as if that shadow which passed in front of her room wasn’t real at all. Right before she turns around to go back to her chamber, she hears a raspy voice and feels a hand on her shoulder, making her jump.
Her heart beats fast and she makes a great effort to not scream, realizing that Captain Levi is in front of her, looking at her with severity. His blue eyes piercing hers, waiting for an answer to a question he never asked.
“You scared me, Captain!”
“What the hell are you doing here are this hour?” he doesn’t seem to have much patience, but Petra knows that’s just the way he always is.
“I saw a shadow in front of my door. Someone was apparently sneaking out and I thought that maybe…” she stops talking when she notices her Captain’s hand rubbing his sore neck and showing some vulnerability. His eyes look away. Was he ashamed of something?
“I… didn’t think I would wake someone up. I tried to be as stealth as possible but…”
“You can’t sleep” she kindly asks and after an instant he says no with his head “the same’s happening to me. Would you like some tea?” she smiles and Levi wonders how is it possible that a smile has so much light in such a dark world as theirs.
The Captain follows her to the kitchen, and in that moment it’s as if they escaped from reality and the cool night gave them an opportunity to stop being soldiers, leaving military hierarchies aside to let them be just a man with severe sleeping problems and a woman willing to accompany him, sharing warmth and tenderness through a cup of tea and a relax chat.
From that day, those encounters became something common for them. Occasions when time seems to stop for both of them and that they secretly look forward to.
At first, Petra accompanies the Captain only when she can’t sleep of when she stays up cleaning her room or finishing paperwork; perhaps once or twice a month, and without realizing it, little by little, those occasions became more frequent, turning unto a routine for both of them. When Petra sees the light though her door and a shadow passing in front o her room, she waits a couple moments to got to the kitchen and meet the Captain, who always greets her with a serious façade and a smile on his eyes.
Lately, there are occasions when Petra feels she should stop it all. She thinks that perhaps it is not the best idea to share those moments with the Captain, since her heart starts to beat very fast in anticipation of spending time with him and there are time when she notices herself discreetly flirting with him, fixing her hair in front of him or showing him glances that threaten to betray her and show the hidden desires of her heat. There are times when she sees Levi’s shadow in front of her room and it takes all her strength to not go and meet him in the hallway or the kitchen. Perhaps it would be better to put and end to those encounters that, despite being totally innocent, give the chance to become something more. But there are times when the candle light seems to linger for a couple moments in front of Petra’s door, and she could almost feel the Captain’s hesitation, deliberating if he should knock on her door or wait for her to meet him a couple minutes later. There are nights when she doesn’t go to him and those are the night when he isn’t capable of defeating insomnia
Despite of her regrets, Petra anxiously waits to see the Captain’s shadow passing in front of her room, wondering what would happen if one day he decided to knock on her door.
Author’s notes:
Hi everyone!
It’s been a long time since the last time I wrote and I decided it would be a good idea to do it on thie Rivetra weekend. This is the first part of this two part story. I’ll post the second one tomorrow. Today’s prompt is “shadow” and tomorrow will be “blank”. I hope you’ll like it!
