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Timmy: To think we are a team of superheroes!
Danny: I know! The fame the money, the ladies!
Jimmy: Hold on! That’s not what superheroes should focus on, we should just continue living a normal and simple life!
SpongeBob: Is any of that really what your parents want for you guys?
Timmy: Geez SpongeBob, it’s not like you’re our dad!
SpongeBob: But I love you like your Fathers do! I believe in you like your Fathers do, And I have sex with your Moms just like your Fathers do!
Jimmy: *Walks towards Calamitous* You’ve turned into a big time villain, Professor.
Calamitous: Gotcha!
(Suddenly a strong glass tube traps Jimmy Neutron)
Jimmy: What the?
Danny: What are you doing to him?
Calamitous: I could tell you, but it would be easier to show you.
(Suddenly the glass tube with Jimmy inside slides into the ground)
Jimmy: Agh!
Calamitous: Wait, that’s not what was supposed to happen!
SpongeBob: Oh my Neptune!
Jimmy: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
(Jimmy screams as he plummets to earth until the tube explodes) BOOM!
Calamitous: Ohhhhh no….
SpongeBob: Jimmy is Dead!
Calamitous: Ohhh my God.
SpongeBob: Jimmy is fucking Dead!
Calamitous: This is so embarrassing…
Timmy: I can’t believe it… I’ll never forgive you for this!
Calamitous: Timothy, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to!
Danny: What did you think was going to happen?!
Calamitous: I thought it would, like, turn him into an orange hulk or something.
Danny: Why would it do that?
Calamitous: Because, I… don’t actually know, but…!
Timmy: I’m gonna kill you!
Calamitous: No! Please! I’ll make it up to you!
Timmy: You can’t.
Calamitous: I’ll give you Evil Jimmy if you want. That’s almost as good, right?
Evil Jimmy: *Looks over at Timmy then smiles pervertedly* I don’t mind that!
Timmy: FIRE STAR SLINGER!
Calamitous: NO, PLEASE!
Jimmy: *Just walks in unharmed holding his Porta-Portal* Hey guys, what’s up?
SpongeBob: Jimmy!
Timmy: You’re Alive!
Danny: Phew!
Calamitous: Oh thank God.
Jimmy: Yeah, I kind of deux ex machina’d my way back on the ship and… Whoa, Timmy, uh…. Were you gonna… kill Calamitous?
Timmy: Uh… Yeah?
Jimmy: Man, that’s dark.
Timmy: Can I still kill him?
Jimmy: Eh, sure, why not?
Calamitous: WHAT?!
Timmy: FIRE STAR SLINGER!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Plankton: That was almost too easy!
Nega Timmy: Congratulations on taking over the U.S. healthcare system, you four.
Calamitous: All it took was a little elbow grease
…and a comically large Doomsday device
Nega Timmy: So what’s your plan now?
Vlad: We’ll do what we do best! We are going to make it evil!
Plankton: We’ll start by squeezing the cash out of the chronically sick by charging exorbitant prices for their medicine.
Crocker: Diabetics will have to pay us 100-
Vlad: No, 200 dollars for their insulin.
Ah HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Nega Timmy: They already do that.
All of the Syndicate: What?
Nega Timmy: Insulin already cost at least that much.
Calamitous: Really? 200 dollars?
Nega Timmy: It’s closer to 300.
Plankton: Wow. Okay. Diabolical. Guess the U.S. beat us to the punch there.
Nega Timmy: They certainly beat you to punching Diabetics.
Crocker: It’s fine. We have plenty of other great, evil ideas.
Vlad: Next, we’ll make treatment impossible to access, by ensuring the hospitals are understaffed. And we’ll do this by limiting the number of people who are even allowed to become doctors.
Mwa HA HA HA HA HA!
Nega Timmy: They do that too.
Calamitous: What? There’s no way.
Nega Timmy: Do you remember having to do a residency to become a doctor?
Calamitous: Well, I’m not really a doctor exactly a science professor more like it. I have a Ph.D. in women’s studies.
Nega Timmy: Women’s Studies?
Plankton: Being an evil dictator doesn’t exclude any of us from being a feminist, Timothy!
Nega Timmy: Right, Well… You have to complete a residency at a hospital to become a physician. But the funds for hiring residents are provided by the U.S. government. So the number of available residency programs (thus doctors)… is decided by congress’ budget.
Plankton: So not only did they already do our evil thing… they did it in a more sinister and subtle way.
Nega Timmy: Basically.
Vlad: I’m not sure if we should be proud of our country or disgusted by it.
Nega Timmy: Maybe Both?
Calamitous: Seems as though We’ll have to do some truly despicable to defeat the U.S. government. In that case, we’ll make sure that the only people who can even afford healthcare are the ones who work for companies that benefit our economic interests!
Nega Timmy: That’s called Insurance.
Plankton: …Uh, and… We’ll let the hospitals deny treatment entirely to those who don’t have the correct insurance.
Nega Timmy: *Stares at them Silently*
Crocker: No!
Nega Timmy: Yep.
Crocker: Oh my God.
Nega Timmy: You have some tough competition.
Vlad: They’ve already done every evil thing. Next you’re going to tell us the hospitals are straight-up racist.
Nega Timmy: Funny you should say that. According to recent research-
Calamitous: Stop! I don’t wanna know! Ugh, all this information makes me feel like I’m gonna have to a heart attack.
Nega Timmy: Should I call an ambulance?
Vlad: No! it’ll cost too much.
Plankton: Screw this! We can’t be more cartoonishly evil than the United States’ healthcare system. And all of us are literally cartoon villains!
Nega Timmy: So what will you do?
Vlad: We’re just going to have to take over something pure and free of corruption. Like uh… The U.S. educational system!
Nega Timmy and Crocker: Ooof.
(Danny is on edge trying to look for a soda because there is no soda around, he then looks under his bed for emergency rations only to pull out a note)
Danny: ‘Dear Danny I.O.U one emergency soda signed Danny’
Danny: Bastard he’s always one step ahead of me!
(Crumples Paper in anger)
Danny: Oh. I’d sell my soul for a Soda.
SpongeBob: (Appears behind him) *Chuckle* Well that can be arranged.
(Danny turns to look at SpongeBob)
(SpongeBob Dressed in a yellow tux, black pants, boots, gloves, a long top hat and an eye patch with a yellow triangle on it his one eye was a yellow demonic eye. He was leaning on his cane with a smile on his face)
Danny: Wha?!- SpongeBob?! you’re Bill Cipher!?
SpongeBob: *Chuckle* Always the one you least suspect.
SpongeBob: Now many people often offer to sell their souls without reflecting on the grave ramifications of-
Danny: Do you have a soda or Not?!
SpongeBob: Coming up! (Summons a contract and a pen) Careful hot Pen.
*Elsewhere*
(Vlad and Plankton spying on Danny making a deal with Bill/SpongeBob through the hidden cameras)
Vlad: who is that dashing young fellow in the yellow tux? I like the cut of his jib.
Plankton: That’s Bill Cipher, he’s our 11 o’clock.
roththeprimordial replied to your chat: God Of War: Are you ready for a game filled with...
You… do know in one of Thor’s stories after a kid permanently killed one of his magical resurrecting goats, he threatened to kill the family of the boy and took the boy and his siblings away to be his slaves? Right? This isn
I think tumblr ate the rest of your reply? Sorry if you had more points but from this alone: IT’S NERD TIME
1. That story is after Thor shared his goats’ meat with the whole dang family then specifically told them how to discard the bones so he could resurrect the goats again. That little snot broke one of the bones on purpose, not killing the goat (in the version in my book idk if there’s variants or it’s a bad translation) but making it permanently lame upon resurrection. Them goats drove his sled, my dude! They were his designated drivers! Ya know what old skool justice is? Kid damaged not only property (big enough back then) but magical, replenishing livestock. So as payment, Thor takes the boy and his sister as servants/slaves. That was justice back then in the area. Also probably a good moral story for kids not to take what isn’t yours and to follow adult’s orders.
2. I’m not sure if you read the rest of my jokey post but i was fine with the Thor bit in GOW? It is an interpretation Thor’s a bit of a dick. Not a heartless bastard--and nice enough to leave his hammer to his sons when he kicks it--but general dickish-yet-still-fair. I only got annoyed at Odin being slandered continuously, and MIFFED at Baldr, happy and joyful god who lifted everyone’s spirits, being turned into a psycho villain to rival past Kratos.
But most importantly i said i love the game. They’re just gonna have a huge problem if they eventually DO include Egyptian mythology cuz a Greek killing Egyptian gods is kinda too historically on the nose.
