Hey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here.
It is with a heavy heart that I tell you all: An era has officially ended. And no, I’m not talking about me, even though most of you seem to believe the late Celia Santos and I are one in the same. I’m honored to be compared, but I can tell you now -- You’re stuck with me. I’m not going anywhere. But, this Thanksgiving will be honoring the deceased by paying tribute to our Fallen Starlet, by sharing my favorite tips she sent in before her untimely demise.
Buckle up, kids. None of you are safe.
To begin, something that doesn’t come as much of a surprise, but still has it’s own shock factor. It seems that after C’s had her own sex tape leaked (Oh yes, consider a few bets one -- She paid off security and the tech team. Iconic!), a certain CEO and Southern Belle found themselves in the company of vodka, coke, and very little clothes by the end of the evening. According to C, the Hicktown Harlot even told her herself. Awfully bold, though it doesn’t surprise me that an Abernathy would want to keep it in the family. But, I am shocked to see B following in C’s footsteps. Wasn’t he the one who spent the whole night sulking after he found out S had made him an Eskimo brother? At least they’re even, now.
Oh -- Don’t worry, I’m not planning on dwelling on Chessie’s sex life for much longer. That’s old news. What I’m interested in is the affair of the year -- It seems the Princess of Paradise isn’t satisfied with Type A, she’d prefer someone a little more reckless. Confirmed by a forgotten Givenchy bracelet, R made it clear he’s been bumping uglies with N. I’ll admit, I was shocked to hear about this one -- Turns out you can pay for pills in a few different ways. How very star-crossed. I would almost feel bad for W -- But, here’s the best part: It seems he’s not concerned with waiting for marriage, either. Unfortunately, whatever high end Call Girl he’s been seeing doesn’t leave a trail, not even a spotting of someone leaving after him. W was spotted doing a walk of shame, though -- And no, it wasn’t from N’s building. At least he’s learned the phrase ‘subtle’. You may want to take notes with your next affair, N. Your future husband can show you a thing or too about keeping up an appearance.
Now this last piece, though it did not come from Starlet herself, still falls closely to the Santos clan -- Well, it was thrown right at them, moreso. Seems our resident Do-Gooder finally faced a few demons (Or as what others call ‘exes’), only to come out with a black eye. I suppose we all grieve in different ways.
Happy Thanksgiving! You know you love me.
xoxo, Gossip Girl.
