* X O X O

And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell. The only one.

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #14

Hey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here.

It’s the holiday season in New York, and there’s no better way to celebrate an influx of tourists than to throw all of our favorite Manhattanites into one lavishly expensive penthouse – and keep them there until morning. It seems both the party’s hosts and mother nature had me in mind this Christmas and I thank them for the gift of inevitable chaos that ensued. And of course, it would be rude of me not to respond to their generosity in kind.

Without further ado, my gift to you all for being such loyal informants. Remember, I’m nothing without you.

As I’m sure we all have heard by now, the night started with a black eye and The Patron Saint swooping in to the rescue. My sources tell me the night ended in a peace offering of shots and heartfelt exchanges, but if I were Ben I wouldn’t consider things even quite yet. They say nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

SPOTTED:

Q thanking M the old-fashioned way, with a bump of coke followed by projectile vomit. All over M’s clothes. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Q did it on purpose. In any case, I want to personally thank him for his humiliating sacrifice; Monty’s outfit for the night was truly a crime against fashion. I refuse to believe the animosity in the Santos-Atanas clan runs so high that O would allow her stepbrother to wear something so ghastly in public, but maybe she’s out for Celia’s title of evil stepsister after all.

Type A storming out of his sister’s bathroom, and the Hicktown Heiress following closely behind with a trail white powder running down her cupid’s bow. Pretty telling, considering we all know C wasn’t outside playing in the snow. Someone’s getting coal at the Abernathy family Christmas this year. That is, if she’s even invited.

Little B, trying and failing to get under O’s freshly sunkissed skin. Careful B, the deeper the hole you dig, the harder the fall to the bottom – and we all know O is just itching for a reason to push you in and bury you alive.

And last but not least, our resident bad boy turned Corporate Climber finally joined us for the first time since the passing of his beloved bête noire. His night unfolded similar to my favorite Christmas story, A Christmas Carol, starting off with a visit from the Ghost of Sister’s past and ending in an apology to a former friend scorned. All seems to be forgiven for Ebenezer Kirbey, at least in the Patron Saint’s book. While forgiveness seemed to be the theme of the night, I can’t help but think no one will be forgetting any time soon.

See you all in the New Year, here’s hoping your resolutions are as shameless as your past transgressions.

xoxo, Gossip Girl.

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #13

SPOTTED: A lover’s quarrel gone wrong?

We’re only a couple hours into this Holiday Party, and you have all brought your A-Game. My sources tell me the night has begun with a reunion between Q and B, resulting in a black eye. Don’t believe me? Check the image Mel91 sent in. Looks like this is going to be one hell of a night.

I know I’ll be sitting front row.

xoxo, Gossip Girl.

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #12

SPOTTED: Cuffing season claims it’s latest victims.

It looks like not even Stone Cold Tate Rodriguez is safe from the temptation of having someone to share a bed with. The Patron Saint of the Upper East Side seems to be putting roots down with them – Or maybe trying to secure a roof over his head until he figures out the next move. I’m taking bets for how long this one will last, my guess is they won’t make it past New Years. But who knows? Maybe M won’t make a run for it!

xoxo, Gossip Girl.

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #11

SPOTTED: My favorite fuck ups returning to their old stomping grounds for one night only! Get your tickets now, I can imagine this will be a night to remember.

Though I may have walked the halls with you all in our glory days at Nightingale, being back in our alma mater makes me wish I had kept tabs on you all those years ago. Personally, I can’t wait to see what this nostalgia fueled evening will have in store for us. While you may be enjoying the open bar and the idea of sneaking off to hide under the bleachers – Don’t forget that I have eyes everywhere.

xoxo, Gossip Girl

[violentendsgg]

I saw Tate Rodriguez leaving the gallery with Sebastian O'Riley the night of the fire at Club Blur. ;)

Something tells me they didn’t leave for Happy Meals this time around, either.

xoxo, Gossip Girl.

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #10

Hey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here.

It is with a heavy heart that I tell you all: An era has officially ended. And no, I’m not talking about me, even though most of you seem to believe the late Celia Santos and I are one in the same. I’m honored to be compared, but I can tell you now -- You’re stuck with me. I’m not going anywhere. But, this Thanksgiving will be honoring the deceased by paying tribute to our Fallen Starlet, by sharing my favorite tips she sent in before her untimely demise.

Buckle up, kids. None of you are safe.

To begin, something that doesn’t come as much of a surprise, but still has it’s own shock factor. It seems that after C’s had her own sex tape leaked (Oh yes, consider a few bets one -- She paid off security and the tech team. Iconic!), a certain CEO and Southern Belle found themselves in the company of vodka, coke, and very little clothes by the end of the evening. According to C, the Hicktown Harlot even told her herself. Awfully bold, though it doesn’t surprise me that an Abernathy would want to keep it in the family. But, I am shocked to see B following in C’s footsteps. Wasn’t he the one who spent the whole night sulking after he found out S had made him an Eskimo brother? At least they’re even, now.

Oh -- Don’t worry, I’m not planning on dwelling on Chessie’s sex life for much longer. That’s old news. What I’m interested in is the affair of the year -- It seems the Princess of Paradise isn’t satisfied with Type A, she’d prefer someone a little more reckless. Confirmed by a forgotten Givenchy bracelet, R made it clear he’s been bumping uglies with N. I’ll admit, I was shocked to hear about this one -- Turns out you can pay for pills in a few different ways. How very star-crossed. I would almost feel bad for W -- But, here’s the best part: It seems he’s not concerned with waiting for marriage, either. Unfortunately, whatever high end Call Girl he’s been seeing doesn’t leave a trail, not even a spotting of someone leaving after him. W was spotted doing a walk of shame, though -- And no, it wasn’t from N’s building. At least he’s learned the phrase ‘subtle’. You may want to take notes with your next affair, N. Your future husband can show you a thing or too about keeping up an appearance.

Now this last piece, though it did not come from Starlet herself, still falls closely to the Santos clan -- Well, it was thrown right at them, moreso. Seems our resident Do-Gooder finally faced a few demons (Or as what others call ‘exes’), only to come out with a black eye. I suppose we all grieve in different ways. Happy Thanksgiving! You know you love me. xoxo, Gossip Girl.

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #9

SPOTTED: At Grand Central Station, bags in hand: Ben Vanderbilt, with King Kirbey in tow. I guess Christmas is coming early this year, boys and girls -- I have quite the present to give.

I’ve been sitting on this piece of information for quite some time now, and it seems the right time and right place have finally lined up. I know hearing about yet another Upper East Sider finally crashing, burning, and landing in the Ostroff Center isn’t newsworthy anymore -- But learning one of our own checked in to cover for someone else is something not even I’ve heard of. The Archibald’s may be all for transparency, but this truth isn’t one our dear Senator will be able to talk her way out of at a press conference.

Struggling to follow along? Shame. Let me set the stage for you: A handsomely disheveled Ben, and Quinn, waiting to swoop in and play Knight in Shining Armor. He did just that -- I can’t quite place the reasoning for it just yet, but when the Runaway came to Q’s with an outlandish story about drug possession and the cops being on his tail (Taking plays out of R’s book, it seems?), Prince Charming was quick to swoop in, taking the blame for him without so much as a question. It turns out, Q has never had a problem with coke, and probably has never had a white Christmas. Seems quite odd, ruining your own life, doing a stint in rehab, and nearly costing your mother her election (I voted for Lorraine, of course. The O’Riley’s have nothing on an empowered woman.) -- All for what? Save the Vanderbilt’s a bit of bribery money? I hope B at least sent pictures of the Greek beaches.

By the way -- Blondes are more his type, Q.

xoxo, Gossip Girl.

[violentendsgg]

I heard Chessie hooked up with Monty Santos at Tate's party ;) - Anonymous

I can only imagine she decided to climb that tree as a public service -- We all know Monty hasn’t been getting any since he left the city. How charitable.

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #8

SPOTTED: Trouble in paradise, or a certain CEO needs to brush up on his acting skills?

NDA’s mean nothing in this city, and for that -- New York, I love you. A soon-to-be fired cook had the pleasure of bearing witness to a historic event: A Future Wife and Husband actually seen in the same room, at the same time. And here I was beginning to think W got cold feet. Or maybe blue balls? Either way, color me shocked. After N’s shouting match with Walt White last month, I was hoping for a Twilight-style love triangle. Looks like no dice. Regardless, the Not-So-Blushing Bride to Be was seen looking miserable as ever, sporting ice cold arm candy. Looks like she’ll fit right in with the Abercult.

But then again, if you want to impress Daddy, N -- Less scowling. It’ll give you wrinkles!

xoxo, Gossip Girl.

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #7

SPOTTED: O carrying on the family legacy by chewing out the help.

Thanks to the careful eye of an intern, I found out that the time has come for our Sweet Southern Belle to reap what she sows -- Something tells me this won’t be as pretty as a magazine cover. I hope O had the time to make a laundry list of her misdeeds, but something tells me a busy woman like her doesn’t have that kind of time to dedicate to the help. From what my sources tell me, the Boss Ladies of FREYA are giving their Cover Girl her true jump-the-shark moment: Hosting an art gallery for a Brooklynite who can’t tell couture from K-mart. I’m not sure it will impress the snobby buyers FREYA’s looking for, but at least they’ll have a new market of hipsters on their side.

I can only hope Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb made the guest list.

xoxo, Gossip Girl.

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #6

Hey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here.

I asked, and you delivered. Well done. Lets get to it, shall we?

First, I’d like to give a shout out to Tate for cooking up this house party, it was much better than the crystal that’s usually on their menu. It seems you have terrible taste in men, though -- The Rehab Recluse wasn’t seen all night, and I can’t help but feel as though I’m being dodged. Take it from Mother Teresa, Q: Show up and sleep with the first person you can find, instead of hiding out. It’s much more entertaining.

Speaking of, to kick things off, lets talk about the Man on the High Horse. M, you can take the man out of Manhattan, but you can’t take Manhattan out of the man. What’s the point in fighting it? Our Patron Saint of the Upper East Side was spotted christening his return with Kate Moss 2.0, and I can only hope T sends him the cleaning bill. Bathroom sex? Come on, M. You’re not seventeen anymore. Get off in the guest room like a grown man.

Or just snuggle up to your roommate. We hear T is on the hunt for someone to keep their bed warm. And god knows you don’t have one to sleep in.

It seems that our boys have finally kissed and made up -- At least, long enough to do a little blow and have it fall apart again. My sources tell me they spotted a certain CEO and a Bohemian Burnout hiding in the corner, but the fun ended all too soon. What’s wrong, B? Didn’t the nanny teach you to share your toys? Or did S happen to run into your latest conquest and learn something less than savory?

My tip line was blowing my phone up all night, you would have mistaken my iPhone for a vibrator. This one comes from BeckyNYU -- I was about to hook up with Bishop, when we ran into Chessie puking in the bathroom. He totally ditched me for her. I saw them leaving together, too. I’d say I’m surprised to hear this bit of news, but I’ve always loved a good backstabbing. I’m sure you can put two and two together for what happened after, considering C’s track record. Two boys, one night? Scandalous. Keep it up, C. Lets just hope O doesn’t catch wind. FREYA may be provocative, but I’m not sure Play Boy was the angle they were going for.

Also spotted was dear, sweet, Audrey Hepburn, moping around the party with a red solo cup. What’s got you down, N? The lack of vintage Chanel and Champagne? We know this isn’t your scene, but you could at least slap a fake smile on. I like you when you’re pretending to be Future Housewife of the Year -- But I think I like hearing that you left the party with S much more. How’s dear W feel about sharing? I hope it’ll fit into his schedule.

xoxo, Gossip Girl.

[violentendsgg]

Gossip Girl, do you want to get dinner with me? Promise to tell you all my secrets after. -Sebastian

Bribery doesn’t get me off quite like flattery does, Lost Boy. Do better.

xoxo, GG

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #5

Hey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here.

While we’re not at the MOMA, or in the ballroom of the Kirbey -- I have a feeling tonight will be one to remember. So, put your sluttiest costume on, and get your red solo cup. I abhor such behavior, so I won’t be in attendance. My taste is closer to champagne, than cheap beer. But don’t worry, while you all spend the evening reliving your glory days of Nightingale prep -- I’ll still be watching. Don’t hold back on my count, I’ll be sure to get both my treats and tricks this year.

Of course, I can’t do it alone, even I’ll admit to that. Consider this a tip line: If you see something worthy of my commentary -- And no, I don’t care if you lost a game of beer pong -- send it in.

I’ll be waiting.

xoxo, Gossip Girl

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #4

SPOTTED: A Bishop returns from playing the pawn.

Oh, B. How we’ve missed you’re presence -- And your daddy issues. They were on fully display earlier this afternoon as one of my dotting minions caught a glimpse at a century old, scared tradition: The Kirbey family brunch. This weeks venue, Howl. As for what’s on the menu -- Based on the look the Future Member of the First Wives Club gave him, I suppose it’s disdain. If looks could kill, B would be six feet under and N would finally have the empire she wants. But where’s the fun in that?

Looks like the Kirbey’s Cold War is still on, and I’ve got my Prada snow boots ready.

Who will make the first move? You tell me.

xoxo, Gossip Girl

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #3

Hey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here.

It’s come to my attention that a few of you doubt my credibility, so I’ve come with a gift. A peace offering, really. I’m no monster -- Think of me as someone here to keep you all from drowning in secrets and lies. Someone has to keep us afloat, consider this a new sort of life raft.

One of my favorite things to watch is the life long game of Cat and Mouse between the Local Dealer and his police chief father. The two never fail to entertain, always keeping us on their toes with a game of ‘Will he or won’t he be arrested’. Well, R -- It looks the NYPD is upping the stakes. After plenty of sleuthing and the help of a few devoted readers, it looks like Chief Tandel himself is heading a new anti-drug movement through the city, and I have a feeling I know who Public Enemy Number One may be.

Looks like it’s time to rally the troops, R. Let The Chef know they can go back to cooking just food, instead of impersonating Walt White. While you’re at it, you may want to make sure S isn’t having a white Christmas this year..

Keep your friends close, and your coke rosary closer -- It looks like Daddy Dearest is ready to even the score.

You’re welcome.

xoxo, Gossip Girl.

[violentendsgg]

EBLAST #2

SPOTTED: Patrons of this masquerade abandoning their masks, and choosing to hide behind doors instead.

The first seen being the Hicktown Heiress herself, pulling along a Ghost from Ex-Boyfriend’s past into a private room. Old habits die hard, don’t they, S? Here’s hoping Golden Boy doesn’t interrupt, determined to save his sister from yet another mistake. Where’s the fun in that?

Speaking of -- My sources tell me that the future addition to the Abernathy’s cult was seen not-so-subtly entering the room next door with our favorite Fuck Up, surely on the hunt for a bit of blow to keep her smiles up. Sorry to ruin your night, N. You just made it to easy. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’d even be interested in speaking of Rowan’s business endeavors -- We’ve all paid him a visit, myself included. A passerby managed to catch a bit of whatever went on in the room. And no, I’m not talking about the moans coming from S and C next door. Anyone determined to find a room of their own is doomed to encounter the shouting that’s come from N and R, enough to provoke the question: What’s got this Blushing Bride’s feathers so ruffled?

You tell me. Make it good.

xoxo, Gossip Girl

[violentendsgg]

E-BLAST #1

Hello, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here.

Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s Elite.

Tonight, I’ll go along with the theme of the Masquerade. I’ve never been one to turn down the option of sitting back, having a drink, and watching the chaos unfold. You may not know who I am -- But I certainly know all of you. I’ve been with you from your days roaming the halls of Nightingale Prep, to the bar at Club Blur. Highs, lows, secrets and lies, I’ve seen it all. From the Kirbey, to the Golden Coast, to whatever island Ben Vanderbilt is hiding on.

I have eyes everywhere, and I know everything. And do I have a story for you.

Lets begin the night with a mystery I’m sure you’re dying to know about -- What happened to the Band of Brothers that once ran rampant around the Upper East Side. The likes of Bishop Kirbey, Sebastian O’Riley, Rowan Tandel, and Monty Santos were once thick as thieves, but within a blink of an eye, the latter found himself exiled. It’s no secret that Monty disappeared somewhere into the Eastern Hemisphere, but even then -- Old habits die hard, and no amount of charity work can change that. It was once tradition for the foursome to ring the new year together. All four spent the holiday with plenty of shots, blow, and the company of nearly every Call Girl in the country of France.

But somewhere in the night, a spiral began and the party backfired, leaving one of their own behind. The sun rose, and Monty was left among the wreckage. While the exact reasoning of leaving poor ole’ Monty behind is unclear -- Though, get enough drinks into Bishop and we’re sure he’ll tell us everything -- my sources were able to uncover the truth behind this night-out-gone-wrong. Parisian police found Manhattan’s own Mother Theresa after the all nighter, slapping him with a rap sheet that could easily send him from Manhattan, to Rikers. Prostitution, possession, and general debauchery. He clearly learned from the best. With the careful hand of Freya Atanas, as well as a bottomless bank account, was enough to solve his international woes. I suppose every saint has a past, or this case -- Isn’t as holy as he puts on.

At least he’s kept up the theme of the evening, mask and all.

xoxo, Gossip Girl