a/n; in my head i see this as a mini series, but this part just kind came to me. i'm picturing a part 2 & a 'how they started' ...... idk but i live for the angst, bye.
summary; your big brother roy catches jamie in your house
part 2 - don't shut me out
"I don't understand why you won't tell me about the bloke you're seeing," Roy mumbled, crossing his arms, "you always let me vet them."
Roy had stopped over late, without so much as a warning text, after dropping Pheobe off at your sister's house. He needed you to pick her up after school tomorrow, because he had a meeting with Ted and Beard and couldn't reschedule, and your sister was meant to be at work all day.
"C'mon, let me meet him! Is he here now? These ugly shoes must be his."
You were smiling nervously trying to get Roy to leave. Normally, an unannounced visit from Roy would end in a few hours of chatting and maybe a glass of wine, but today you were rushing your brother out the door - and he noticed.
"Let's set up a lunch next week," you said, "not just spring it on him now."
It shouldn't be a big deal. You were a grown woman, you could have boys' spend the night without Roy throwing a fit, he'd grown used to hearing about his younger sister's dates. But you'd been seeing this guy for a while and Roy hadn't heard a peep.
"All right fine," he relented, "but next fucking week and I'm holding you to that."
Except the guy you were seeing is Jamie Tartt.
And it was Jamie Tartt who was fast asleep in your bedroom after a long night spent mostly between the sheets.
And Jesus Christ, what a good night it had been. Jamie had really pulled out all the stops. From the beginning of the night he'd had it all planned out. He sent you out with Keeley in the afternoon with his credit card to buy a new dress, he'd brought flowers when he picked you up, drove you to the loveliest little restaurant on the edge of town while listening to a playlist of love songs he'd curated for the evening, and after dinner he told you that he loved you, and that he wanted to be your boyfriend properly, not just behind closed doors, and you'd agreed to come out with it.
And then he'd taken you home and spent the next few hours worshipping your body and doing everything in his power to make you scream his name.
No cheering fans could ever make him feel like you did when you sang his name over and over like a prayer.
And you had every intention of returning to that bed, and letting Jamie do it again.
You just needed to get Roy the hell out of your house.
Roy was laughing as you ushered him out, but suddenly... he was dead wait, rigid, glued to the spot. You tried to follow his line of sight, but he was in the way.
“Whose jacket is that?”
“What?”
“The fucking Greyhounds jacket!!!”
“Oh this???" you grabbed the windbreaker and tossed it into the closet. "Uh, no one’s, mine.”
“You’re a shit liar, and that was a team jacket."
“Well whatever, don’t ask a question if you don't wanna know the answer.” You were bluffing, you knew damn well he wouldn't let it go. Roy Kent was not one to just let things go that involved his sister.
“Oh, I want to know the fucking answer.”
"Next week!" you squeaked, "We'll go to lunch next week, promise!"
As if someone somewhere was working against you, Roy’s head snapped in the direction of the toilet flushing, followed by light footsteps.
Did Jamie hear what was going on? Maybe it's a miracle and he snuck into the guest room to play innocent. There was no way he didn't hear Roy's yelling.
Sneaking around with Jamie was one thing, but getting caught instead of telling Roy yourself was a whole other problem.
“Wait, dont-“
But he was already off down the hall, and you were hot on his trail. Jamie was in your room, caught like a deer in the headlights trying to pull on his pants. He didn't have time yet to grab his shirt, and his chest, splattered colourfully with a combination of teeth and scratches were staring Roy right in the face.
In your defense, the team was off and no one was meant to be seeing him without a shirt but you...
"Hey now," Jamie said, crooked, uneasy smile on his face, "it's not what it seems."
"It seems like you just fucked my sister!"
"It ain't fuckin', it's makin' love." Jamie crossed his arms, looking around for his shirt. Roy's eye twitched with this new information.
You threw a random night shirt of yours off the ground, and he slipped on (his favourite) Hello Kitty shirt of yours.
"I bought 'er that fuckin' shirt!" Roy shouts, lunging towards Jamie who yelps, and dodges out of reach, trying to hold his hands up in defense, but Roy just grabs him by the wrist, pulling him close so he can headbutt Jamie, knocking him over with the force of it.
"What the fuck Roy?"
"Jamie fucking Tartt? Jamie fucking Tartt? Have you lost your fucking mind?"
"Roy will you just-"
"No! No I won't fucking do anything! Out of everyone in this fucking city, you pick Jamie fucking Tartt? This must be a fucking nightmare. And what happens if he breaks your heart? Huh? What if he knocks you up and leaves you on your own? Am I going to have to be the one to pick up all the fucking pieces, again? God, this is gunna turn out so awful and you didn't even stop to think about me, or the fact that he plays for my team, you absolute fucking idiot, I'm fucking tired of sisters who pick stupid fucking boyfriends!"
And it was like all the oxygen was sucked out of the room. It was the meanest thing he'd ever said to you, the loudest he'd ever raised his voice against you, and he could see the way your lower lip wobbled, he could see the tears forming in your eyes, and before he could reach out for you, Jamie was already there, arm around you, rubbing your back slowly while he whispered something soothing in your ear.
"I think you should head out," Jamie said, voice even and without any hint of Jamie's usually idiocy. Void of humour or cockiness, and his eyes, his eyes never left your face. "Now, Roy. I think you should head out now."
And Roy didn't know what to say, he didn't mean it, oh of course he didn't mean it. You must know that. He couldn't ever be tired of helping his sisters, you guys were everything to him.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, leaving the room with his tail between his legs, closing the door behind him.
With the door closed, he could hear your crying start, and his heart shattered in his chest.
Ted has feelings for the new AFC Richmond marketing manager—but can’t seem to tell her. When one Bantr match gets her a little too excited, Ted finally takes matters into his own hands.
My Love, Mine All Mine | @multipotentialitepisces
When Rupert makes passes at you at Rebecca’s gala, Ted steps in. What unfolds throughout the evening reveals feelings and secrets neither of you thought would ever come to light.
Imagine | @cherikitty
afc richmond’s new coach, and your favourite victim to mess with. there’s just something about him. whether it’s the large age gap, that sexy midwestern accent, the silly moustache— it’s safe to admit you’ve got a little crush on him.
after hours | @storiesforallfandoms
in which he’s at work late again, so she goes to see if she can persuade him to give up for the night and come home
Ted Lasso Fics | @daisyfieldrecs
𐙚 Roy Kent
“Safe Haven” | @roseandxanderfics
Roy Kent never expected to fall for a single mum and her kid, but somehow, he’s become the grumpy protector of both. He’s got a reputation to uphold—except when it comes to you two.
Lover | @a-second-hand-sorrow
Y/N and Roy’s relationship, set to Taylor Swift’s ‘Lover’
Work-Married | @/a-second-hand-sorrow
The five times Roy and Y/N call each other their work-husband and work-wife, and the one time they forget about the ‘work’ part
Congratulations | @/a-second-hand-sorrow
The five times Y/N tells someone about her pregnancy.
The Lunch Date | @gracebutnotgraceful
after numerous unsuccessful attempts at getting over your crush on roy, you’re ready to give up. keeley is nothing if not a wing(wo)man.
Locker room, part 2 | @axelsagewrites
Future Mrs Gramma | @/axelsagewrites
Charity | @/axelsagewrites
This Night | @buckychristwrites
It's a beautiful day for a youth football match, where you are the brand new coach. And what better way to start it than meet the infamous uncle of one of your players?
Imagine: Roy has managed to keep his feelings for you to himself….until one night he’s unable to hold onto them any longer.
Contains: fem/reader, cursing, Roy losing his absolute shit in the best way, sexual innuendos
Warnings: none
“I can’t believe I ever let you convince me to wear this.”
“Babes you look phenomenal,” Keeley preened.
You might not have had the option to skip the fundraiser event you were about to enter, but you did have the option to wear something more….lowkey. You did tend to keep it lowkey, as one of the clubs media specialists. Keeley handed all of the flashy bits, the paparazzi and signings and public appearances. You tended to a lot of the background stuff; the sports articles and communications within the league, and the clubs various websites and platforms. Ever since you joined the team nearly a year go now you liked to work in the background, liked being unnoticeable.
Unfortunately you’d become best friends with Keeley Jones-the most noticeable person on the planet. And when you learned you had to attend some annual fundraising gala Rebecca was putting on, Keeley made it her life mission to convince you to wear something daring. And in a moment of weakness you’d agreed.
But now that you were present at the gala and it was almost your turn to walk to press carpet, you were having some serious regrets.
“Seriously Keeley, I feel ridiculous. One of the guys is going to see me and bust out laughing. This is something Rebecca would wear and pull off, not me.” Not to mention the carpet ahead was daunting. Cameras flashing constantly, held by shouting, viperous paparazzi.
“Hey,” Keeley pulled you to the side, forcing you to look at her instead of ahead at the walk into the hall. “No matter what mean things your brain are telling you right now, you look phenomenal. And when the guys see you, when Kent sees you-they’re gonna be lost for words.”
You flushed, because of course your best friend couldn’t resist mentioning the man you had a huge thing for. She never let it go after you let it slip one night. The two of you were just friends, no matter how much Keeley insisted that Roy was in love with you. You two had hit it off shortly after you started, appreciating each other’s dry sense of humor and love of cursing. Besides Keeley he was your best friend. But that was it-no matter how much you daydreamed of more.
"You've got this babe, i promise. Don’t forget-you are a badass bitch." Keeley gave you a final smile and quick kiss on the cheek before she was being called up. She left your side and stepped out onto the carpet. The photographers went wide, bursts of light exploding. You were officially next.
You took a deep breath, in and out. You just wanted to be inside the gala with your people, having fun with the club and Rebecca and Keeley. Unfortunately, this carpet stood in between you and them.
Just when you thought you had taken enough deep breaths and were finally ready, you heard a sharp inhale behind you. You risked a glance over your shoulder, finding Roy standing a few feet behind you. And you had to admit, he looked good. The all black attire did not surprise you but it did suit him. He was taking you in, slowly, from head to toe. Your outfit was all white, comprised of crisp high waisted pants and a corseted long sleeve top. (see visual below, I love a good visual, tho feel free to alter it in your brain to best suit you)
When his eyes finally rose to your chest he swore.
"Fucking hell."
"What was that, Roy?"
His eyes rose again, this time to meet yours.
Maybe it was Keely's words ringing around your head, or the way Roy couldn't keep his eyes off you, or the shot of whiskey you'd taken on the drive in. But regardless, you suddenly felt a smudge more confident. So with a final mental fuck it, you decided to embrace it. You relaxed your shoulders, straightened your spine, and as they called your name you smiled at Roy and gave a quick wink before you spun on your heel and took your first step out onto the carpet.
The cameras lit up, photographers crying for a spin, a turn, an angle, any bit of attention. You stopped a few times, allowing them pictures of you in different poses. The lights and the noises soon became too much however, so you kept it short before you strutted down the rest of the carpet and made it inside the gala building where Keely was stood waiting.
"Oh my god, you looked like a right model walking into a show," she gushed. "Those pictures of you are going to be jaw-dropping babe. And poor Roy's dragging his jaw against the floor."
You flushed as you let the excitable girl link arms with you and drag you towards the teams designated table. "I don't know what came over me, Ke. I just decided to go with it and channel my inner Rebecca. And I fucking winked at Roy. Who am I?“
"If he doesn't pull you away to ravish you by the end of the night I will."
You giggled with your friend, happily accepting the drink she got you.
"Ladies."
To your delight Coach Lasso approached, eyes crinkled as he smiled. "You both look down-right beautiful."
"Oh thank you Ted, you're looking quite handsome this evening."
"Well that's mighty kind of you. Now between the three of us, I was really just coming to let you know that Roy just stormed into the building like a starved man on a mission, demanding to know if I'd seen which way you went. The poor man looked so red in the face I was worried he was going to keel over."
You flushed, eyes suddenly finding the floor quite interesting.
"Now you two wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?"
"He's realizing that he's in love with her," Keely couldn't help but gush.
Eyes widening, you smacked her arm.
"Ow!"
"Keely! He is not!"
"Ah," Lasso hummed, chuckling a bit. "It's about damn time. The boys and I are getting tired of the silent pining."
"We are not- there is no silent pining." You argued, looking between your two friends.
“You two have been inseparable since you met. You spend more time with him then anyone else in the club, babes.”
“Kee, we’re just friends.”
"I don’t think he thinks that," Lasso gestured with his head and you followed his gaze, finding Roy stood across the room, staring straight at you.
Your heart skipped a beat as his intense eyes met yours.
"I need some water," you stated, the air suddenly too heavy to breath.
"I can-"
"It's ok, Kee," you interrupted, kissing her cheek. "I'll be back."
She nor Lasso argued, watching as you hurried away from the table and towards the bar. Roy was after you the next minute, speeding across the floor and past the table towards you.
"Those two...." Lasso trailed off as he shook his head.
"Idiots."
"Lovesick idiots."
-
You weren't really thinking straight when you rushed away from your friends. All you could think was that the weight of Roy's gaze was heavy, stifling, and you felt your chest constrict.
You stepped up to the bar and asked for an ice water, receiving it moments later. You thanked the bartender and glided over to a neglected corner of the room, where only a few stragglers buzzed around. It was quieter over here, and you could feel the ache in your chest ease slightly.
"Hey," a soft voice invaded your space.
You froze, turning.
Roy was stood there, looking down at you again with that intense dark gaze.
"Hi," you said softly, unable to stop your eyes from flickering down to his lips before quickly back up.
"You look....fucking beautiful."
A heat began in your cheeks, reaching down your neck and no doubt flushing your collar and chest as well.
"That word doesn't seem quite enough. Fucking....breathtaking." And the way he said it sounded like he was, in fact, breathless. His chest heaved, as he stood perfectly still in front of you.
The heat was beginning to prick at your stomach, and if Roy wasn't very careful it was going to continue to travel downward.
"Thank you. Everyone here looks pretty amazing."
"Sweetheart, I haven't so much as glanced at anyone else in here. How can I, when you look so...." he trailed off, lips parting silently.
"What?"
“I’ve been doing my best to keep what I was feeling on a tight leash. I never wanted to ruin…this. Our friendship. I don’t know what I’d do with it, but…”
You furrowed your eyebrows. He wasn’t making any sense. “What are you saying Roy?”
"Can I kiss you?"
Ok, the heat had officially traveled to your entire body. You felt like you were on fire, and all Roy was doing was looking at you. Never had you considered how much a simple question like that could affect you, but as you watched him wait in heavy anticipation, wanting to touch you but unwilling until you gave him permission, you became weak in the knees.
"Yes-" the word was barely out of your mouth before he was kissing you, trapping the word in between you. His hands cradled your face so delicately, like you were made of glass. You rested your hands on his chest, appreciating the muscle you felt under the suit.
His lips were so soft, and tasted faintly of the cherry chapstick you'd given him just the other day. He smelled of spicy cologne and his scruff tickled your face.
He pulled away, just enough to meet your eyes.
"I may be the most stubborn, selfish, miserable prick on this planet, but you make me feel like I'm so much more. And this may be the most selfish thing I ever do, but I don't fucking care anymore. I'm in love with you."
Your lips parted, eye searching his for any signs of deception. You couldn't find any.
"Im in love with you too, my miserable prick."
He choked on a laugh, his eyes glassy as he rested his forehead against yours. "God, I love you so fucking much."
Can I ask for a drabble maybe either Ted or Roy kissing you at midnight on New Year's Eve? Maybe they're at a party or being the very attractive old men they are, you're already in bed and he wakes up, kissing you directly at midnight, whispering sweet words to you
Thank you so much. I love all your works <3
spending new year’s eve with a sleepy roy kent
“jesus christ…” you mutter to yourself, rolling your eyes with a grin as roy snores loudly beside you in bed. he’d had a long day, and the moment his head hit the satin-soft pillow, he was out. and you let him. even though it’s new year’s eve, you know how hard he’s been working lately— he deserves the rest.
your fingers flip through the pages of your thriller, fully swallowed up by the intense storyline. occasionally, a flicker of colourful lights illuminates your shared bedroom, along with the sharp whistle of yet another firework exploding overhead. but just as it’s finally about to reveal the cold-blooded killer on page 429, a loud, grating sound blares from beside roy, making you yelp.
“what the fuck?!”
you check your watch. 12:00 a.m. on the dot. even more rainbow-coloured fireworks light up the night sky, nearly drowning out the piercing alarm coming from your boyfriend’s nightstand. roy grunts. he reaches for his vibrating phone and shuts it off in one swift motion.
“baby, what the hell? why would you—” roy sits up, cups your face in both hands, and presses a rough, lingering kiss to your lips. your tense body melts under his touch. after a few moments, he pulls back, brows knitted together in that classic roy kent way, but the corners of his mouth soften a little.
“that’s why.” he growls, voice rough and gravelly with sleep, giving you a nod before flopping back onto the pillow. you giggle, the book already long forgotten.
Words: 1,898
Summary: Jamie knows she only likes him as a friend but he can’t help but hope that bringing her to meet the team, to see him where he's most natural, will make her finally see him as someone she wants in her bed and holding her hand. It doesn’t work out like that for him. All because of Roy fucking Kent.
Note(s)/Warning(s): NSFW, Takes place in early season 1 episodes of Ted Lasso. Jamie and Keeley aren’t together. Age difference of 11 years between Roy and reader, Jamie is very… self assured.
Masterlist | Support Me!
Jaime was about at the ends of his ropes.
I mean honestly it was fucking crazy how much work he was putting in for one girl. A girl who had laughed at him when he hit on her before patting his cheek and saying they could be friends. And sure she was a good friend. Didn’t really give a fuck about football, but still listened to him tell her about how amazing he was compared to every one else on the team. But, he didn’t want to be her friend.
He wanted to be in her bed or have her in his. He also didn’t think he’d mind having her around for more than just sex. He didn’t really care for all that couple shit, got a bit too much in the way of football and sex, but he liked her well enough. Could see himself holding her hand and see her watching him in a mirror as he tried on sponsor's clothing he was unfortunately made to wear occasionally.
But in the near month they’d known each other he wasn’t getting any closer to fucking her or holding her hand. She was so uninterested in him, it drove him up the wall.
He had a plan though, a smart one.
Every girl he’d been with before thought it was hot as fuck watching him on the field. Couldn’t count with both hands how many times he’d been able to feel how wet a girl was from seeing him score a goal.
So, he was taking her to the match today. He’d score a goal, it’d finally click in her head how fucking hot he was and then he’d make her wait a bit longer by taking her to the locker room, introduce her to the team, and then finally they’d go to his and probably not even make into the living room.
The plan is perfect and he easily completes the first two steps. He gets her to the game, sits her with Keeley and Rebecca. He scores a goal. And now he’s on step three.
“Are you sure I’m allowed in the locker room?”
“Babe, I’m sure.” He tells her as they stop just outside the open door, missing the eye roll she gives at the pet name as he pokes his head in quickly to make sure no one is walking around with their prick out.
His nose wrinkles a bit when he sees Roy’s already whipped off his shirt, fucking gross, all that chest hair, but other than that, nothing else is horrible.
Tugging her into the locker room, Ted immediately spots them and is smiling, practically bounding over and Jamie doesn’t know how he’s so happy all the time, it seems exhausting.
“Hello there, I’m Coach Ted Lasso.”
And Jamie can’t even introduce her, she’s already extending her hand to Ted, shaking his and telling him her name. The locker room grows a little quiet as they realize someone they don’t know has joined them.
“Oi!” Roy’s voice cuts through the rest of the noise, locker room noise dying immediately. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Jamie scoffs at the other man, he knew granddad was old, but this was his locker room, he had every right to be there, but when he looks at the captain he’s not looking at him but rather the girl standing next to him.
He expects her to be wide-eyed, offended, maybe even hurt at Roy’s reaction to her. He’s ready to rub at her back a little, give her a little comfort, while happily telling granddad to fuck off. But instead he sees her looking back at Roy with a smile on her face.
The sound of a large sigh fills the deadly quiet locker room and then Roy’s voice, quieter and soft in a way no one has heard it before, fills the room. “C’mere, love.” And his arms are opening a bit, and Jamie watches as she nearly runs into them.
The older man hugs her tight to him, lips pressing against the top of her head for a second, and Jamie’s mouth falls open at the sight.
“I see how it is. Finally come to a fucking match and don’t tell me.”
“I’ve been to your matches before.”
“Yeah, and somehow I always find out after the fact.” He chuckles and Jamie kind of wants to throw up. He wants to scoop his eyes out, but also not look away. Happy Roy was fucking weird to look at, felt like something that should never be a thing.
She rolls her eyes and Jamie can’t help but notice, with a frown and sinking feeling in his stomach, that it’s different from when she rolls her eyes at him. He doesn’t know if it’s the smile on her face or how she’s looking at Roy fucking Kent like he’s the best thing on earth, but he doesn’t like it.
“So, y’all know each other?”
Roy blinks, finally looking away from her at the sound of Ted’s voice, and Jamie waits for him to get embarrassed at the whole team having been watching him be soft and nothing like himself, but instead he watches him pull her a little closer, as if they aren’t just about attached. What’s supposed to be his fucking girl being held tight against Roy and she’s just leaning into him.
“You could say that.”
Jamie’s eyes roll at the vague answer, although he’s starting to wonder if he’s been trying to press up on Roy’s bird this whole time and she was going back home to him laughing about it. She didn’t seem like the type, but she also didn’t seem to be the type to like hairy old granddads. So really, what the fuck did he know anymore?
“Our parents live next door to each other. We’ve known each other for ages.”
Whatever Ted’s about to say in response to that is stopped by Roy.
“What are you doing in the locker rooms?”
She gestures over at Jamie and it’s easy to let a smirk play at his lips when Roy’s eyes land on him. “Jamie invited me today and then dragged me here.”
He doesn’t argue the dragging, he kind of had, her protests going in one ear and out the other. “Wanted her to meet the team.”
Roy’s eyes narrow. “Right.” The word is dragged out a bit. “Figured that’d finally get you into her panties, did you?”
Jamie flushes at the call-out, at exactly what he thought would happen being said out loud, and his eyes flicker to the other people. Most look amused, there are a few open mouths, and Ted had given a shocked wow.
“Fucks sake, Jamie.” She murmurs. “How many times exactly do I have to turn you down?”
A few ohs each through the locker room, laughs as well, and his face feels hot. “Sorry, babe. Figured I’d give it one more go.”
It’s easy to see she doesn’t believe him, but she nods. “Well, as long as this was the last time.” She teases and he takes the lifeline she’s offering.
“Besides, I can’t really try and get with someone who’s got a thing for granddads. I’ve got a reputation.”
“Shut up, Tartt.”
He grins at Roy. “What was that granddad? I think you’ve given me your hearing loss. All I said was I’m heading for the showers.”
—
It’s been silent between them since they got into Roy’s car. Despite him telling her he would drive her home, she hadn’t said a word when he missed the turn for her place and taken her to his.
She doesn’t know what exactly to say to Roy and she’s never felt the need to fill the silence between them.
She’s ready for whatever he does want to say, knows he’s got at least one thing. She expects it as soon as she walks through his front door.
Instead, she’s pushed against it and before she can even make a shocked noise, lips are on hers, her brain shutting down. Because Roy is kissing her. Roy is fucking kissing her. Something she’s been wanting and dreaming about since she was fifteen. Something that only got worse when she turned nineteen and he responded to her flirting.
Her hands come up, gripping at his shirt, wishing it wasn’t there, she’d kill to feel his skin right now, as she finally manages to kiss him back. And as soon as she does, his fingers dig into her hips, a groan leaving him.
“Been dreaming about this.” He mutters when their lips separate, foreheads pressed together.
“Please tell me your dreams had us ending up in bed, too.”
He laughs, but the grip on her hips tightens a bit more. “Don’t want to take it slow?”
“We’ve been taking it slow for like seven years. Get your pants off.”
“Seven years? I’d say a year.”
She scoffs, hands going between their bodies, fingers slipping into his waistband. “We both know the sexual tension started building seven years ago. I’ll give you a year for us torturing each other by not doing anything about it.”
“Oh, you’ll give me that?”
She nods, bottom lip between her teeth.
“Anything else you want to give me?” His breath is warm against her skin as he dips his head to brush his lips against her neck.
“Roy, I’ll give you whatever you fucking want as long as you get your cock in me in the next five minutes.”
He groans, nipping at her neck. “Going to kill me, love. But don’t worry, I’ll give you my cock.”
And god, does he. She had been thinking and dreaming of fucking Roy for over a decade. Even before he started flirting with her. She’s had sleepless nights with her vibrators thinking about him in bed. And every dream and thought had the same conclusion, he was fucking amazing. Somehow he had managed to blow her already high expectations out of the water.
“Fucking hell.” He says breathless, somehow not panting.
“Jesus Christ, Roy.”
A smug smile can’t help but tug at his lips at how she is panting, quick uneven breaths hitting his chest, her head pillowed over his heart. “That good?”
“That good.” She scoffs, moving a little, chin digging into him as she stares at him in disbelief. “My vibrator is going to die from me using it thinking about this.”
“You could just use me every time you think about this and then I could use your vibrator on you, press it right here.” And his hand is just able to dip between her legs, fingertip brushing against her clit. It’s the lightest touch, but she just about flinches, gasping out his name.
“I think I might die if I orgasm again, Roy.”
“Odds?”
She laughs, kissing his chest. “Give me a shower and a few hours of sleep to recover.”
He wants to protest. He knows he could probably ring another two orgasms out of her, but he’s feeling tired as well, their bodies starting to become sticky from sweat. “Alright, shower, sleep, then orgasms.”
She laughs, rolling away from him and off the bed. “And y’know if you happened to wake up before me, feel free to fuck me awake.”
“Fuck me.” Roy groans as he watches her walk into the ensuite, cock twitching. “Evil, fucking evil.”
“What’s this then?” Roy turned to you with a furrowed brow, gesturing towards the package on the coffee table.
You shrugged nonchalantly, barely taking your eyes off the telly. “Package for you,” you answered plainly.
Comical confusion remained on Roy’s face. “I didn’t order shit,” he huffed, finally picking up the brown box, staring at it like there was a bomb in it. He squinted at the label. “Fuck’s this return address?”
“Opening it will probably answer some of your questions,” you hummed, sipping the beer you’d opened just before Roy got home. “Just a thought.”
After shooting you a dirty look, Roy plopped down on the couch next to you, still gingerly holding the mystery box. “Has anyone ever told you it’s cute when you’re a smartass? Because it’s not that fucking cute.”
All you could do was smirk at the man you loved. “Just open the damn box, Roy.”
Despite the way he narrowed his eyes at you, Roy did as he was told. It was comical, the way he tore the box open, not at all careful the way you typically were. Honestly, the box would probably be more intact if the man had used his teeth to rip it open. His rampage paused when he glimpsed the object inside the box. He reached in and pulled it out, letting the destroyed cardboard fall to the floor.
“Blankie.”
Roy gazed down at the beige material, shaking his head as he turned it over and over in his hands. He swallowed hard, blinking rapidly. After what felt like an eternity, he finally turned to look at you, a deep frown on that handsome face.
“How the fuck-?”
“I called your mum,” you explained quickly. “She sent me every photo she could find of Blankie. I went onto this online chatroom for people who track down things like stuffed animals or childhood toys. They sent me to this eBay listing of the same blanket and…” You trailed off, trying to read that stoic expression you usually loved so much. “And if it was the wrong thing to do, please, please tell me, because it was supposed to be a nice gesture, and if it upset you at all-”
“I love it.”
You blinked at the still somber expression on his face. “You-”
He nodded, his grip on the blanket tightening. “I fucking love it," he rasped. Blanket still in hand, he leaned over to wrap his arms around you, tugging you close enough that you could feel his heartbeat against your chest. “I fucking love you.” He kissed your cheek tenderly before pulling back, allowing you to see the tears that had formed in those brown eyes. “This-” He squeezed the blanket. “-might be the most fucking amazing thing anyone has ever done for me, babe.” He shook his head with a soft chuckle. “What the fuck inspired you to do this?”
“When you told me about what happened to Blankie,” you said slowly, “you said it was the hardest thing you’d ever done.” You reached out and touched his leg gently. “Roy, you do so much for everyone. For me, for Pheebs, for your sister. Everything you do for the team. And you do it all without expecting anything in return. I just thought… you deserve this.”
The sight of Roy’s wide smile made the hours you’d spent scouring online for this exact blanket worth it. “Thank you,” he murmured, hugging the blanket close, looking like the child that had been dropped off at Sunderland all those years ago. “Thank you so fucking much, babe.”
Never have I ever faked it with a footballer - Roy Kent x reader
A list of things you did just before your frontal lobe fully developed: graduated and managed to land yourself a part-time job in your favorite bookstore. A list of things you didn't manage to do just before your frontal lobe fully developed: have sex. Those were the thoughts going through your head the week before your 25th birthday. If this was a cheesy romance novel, you would meet the man of your dreams soon and you'd ride into the sunset. Maybe someone who was just as unexperienced as you? Or a very busy businessperson married to their job, whose heart you melt. Perhaps a customer? You look at the the man across from you on the till. His mustache and choice in literature are a bit clashing. But the ring on his finger tells you everything you need to know. He's married and definitely too old for you. He's probably buying the Wrinkle in time for his kid or something. You make a joke that he's bought every sports book you have in stock, and he quips back that there's still something called "Aussie Grit" and "How you build a car" on the shelves.
You agreed with him, not too keen on going into an unskippable dialog that would scare off your customer. You don't work on commission, but you for sure don't want to re-shelf all of the sports books he's about to purchase. You wish him a nice day and think nothing of it. Not like he would play a significant role in your life, anyway.
A couple of days pass, and the checkout till is quieter than usual. You can spot a few regulars in between the shelves and get their books. Then your view is blocked by an angry looking man.
"I'd like to return this." He says, holding a copy of the "wrinkle of time" like it's an offensive nude magazine.
"Sorry, we cannot make returns or exchanges without the receipt. " You reply, your customer service voice light and breezy. The guy looks less than pleased.
"Well the wanker that gifted it to me wasn't generous enough to include it. Could you just get it off my hands, please." He goes on.
"I'll put it in the bargain bin, but it has to be our little secret, okay? You're more than welcome to look through it, too. Don't want you to leave with such a bitter taste from our little establishment." You try to be diplomatic.
Somehow things quickly turn to shit. Someone makes a connection that it's Roy Kent looking through the paperbacks that don't sell. At the exact same time that a large bridal gang walk in. The women, decorated with saches and penis necklaces, must posses echolocation. That's the only explanation for them flocking immediately around you two, begging for the footballer to sign them in increasingly intimate places.
You want to move, to escape, but they have flocked from every side, trapping you. Then Roy makes it worse. He morphs into every protagonist of the cheesy romance novels you read and says
"Everyone, back off. You're gonna end up stomping my girlfriend." The women coo and awww, as if you're a puppy he rescued. You're still unsure who he is and why he warrants such a fuss. You don't figure it out even when he presses his lips to yours, telling the women that this is his new "good luck ritual for practice.". You have to keep living with the fact that amongst the lucky few you had kissed was now a celebrity. You held off from Googling him until you got home, getting sucked into a string of videos about his career and gossip rags. After stumbling on an article about his penis, you call it an evening. At least you now get the hype.
You think that it's done and dusted, that you'll never see Roy Kent again. You're about 5 minutes from closing, deep in the back arranging the shelves after someone had a buying spree (today felt like Christmas, with the amount of people walking in, trying to catch a glimpse of you and buying something to ease their guilt of simply walking in to gawk at you). Someone even showed you a reddit post, where they'd doxxed your store. You didn't look forward to the Roy fangirls that would think your relationship was real and ask you about your sex life. But you did anticipate the moment where you'd tell them that it's eerily similar to a romance book in stock and watch them flock to get it. Was it unethical to suggest that Roy Kent made you suck cotton candy off a butt plug and then used it on you? Yes. Was the price of eggs so high that it wasn't your concern? Also yes. And who knows what he was actually doing in the bedroom? He was a professional footballer since his teens, God know what or who he hasn't tried. Just about when you began to entertain that scenario in your brain, the doorbell chimed, a potential customer walking.
"Hello, sorry we're closing in five minutes, so I'll have to urge you to be quick or come back tomorrow." You say, not looking up from the Lauren Asher trilogy you're holding.
"Actually, I was hoping to get rid of some books." A husky male voice said and you practically sped-walked to see. And there he was, in all his glory, leather jacket over a black shirt, Roy fucking Kent. Holding a good chunk of a dozen of his autobiography books.
"What are you doing here?" You ask, not sure if this was real. Maybe you had slipped and hit your head on a shelf?
"Call it community service. Clear a table for these will you?" He says, and pulls out a pen out of his pocket. You know it costs as much as the entire game of thrones set, so you keep looking at him as you pile up the Tiktok books and place them by your register. He's signing his own books, and placing them on the table like a pro.
"You don't have to do this." You reason, not really sure of his modus operandi.
"Look, yesterday I really had practice after coming here. And it was the best I've played in years. So I was wondering if you'd kiss me again. Just to see if that was the cataclysm." Roy was obviously used to adoring fans, or women that were enamored with him. Either that or the disalussion of dating too many models and actresses, too many stay at home girlfriends that wanted fame or money. Which, kudos to them. But for you, fucking a footballer wasn't in your 10 year plan. So you began acting like a 10 year old. You started shouting at him, calling him names for assuming you're easy.
"Just because you're famous, very easy on the eyes and apparently have a magic dick, doesn't mean that you can walk in here and demand to kiss me. Especially after trying to bribe me with books. You're insufferable."
He backs off when you try and hurl pens and card packs at him, failing miserably. He cautiously approaches you, like you're a stray cat. A rubber bounces off his jawline and you're both leaning down to pick it up.
"I wasn't trying to get lucky. Wanted to come here, ask you out on a date. Sorry I didn't phrase it in the best way. When you're surrounded by sweaty, brutish, young men all day, you're not the best at indirect communication. As for the books, I just wanted you to get ahead, make some money off of this." He explains.
"Sorry, I assumed the worst out of you based on nothing. You were just as impacted by this whole thing as me, if not more. So it makes sense for you to wanna come back and initiate something. Truce?" You ask and extend your hand over for him to shake. His touch is firm, yet feather-like. You're like a woman possessed, leaning into him, whispering, "Is this okay?" millimeters shy of his lips. Roy kisses you, needy and desperate. You can feel his stubble on your cheek, your lips are almost tingling for more.
Was it possible for a man to dickmatize you without even showing you his cock? is what you were wondering when Roy presses his body into yours, both ot you on the floor. You're absolutely feral, asking him for more. Moaning in his ear when he kisses your neck. Begging him to touch you, wrapping your legs around him and rubbing yourself against him, both of you groaning at the contact.
"Sugar, look as much as I'd look forward to just taking you right here and now, and giving both of us the most gnarly case of carpet burn since the 80s, let's pause okay. Save it for an actual date?" Roy says, slightly panting. You made a professional footballer go out of breath.
"Okay, but just because you have to test out your hypothesis. Report to me with findings, okay Mr. Kent?" You reply, trying to mask your disappointment. Roy was doing what not one of your partners had managed before - make you so horny that it was borderline reckless. And it didn't help that he was a gentleman. One that helped you up and kissed your cheek goodbye. One that promised to be here again tomorrow.
You did your closing at a snail's pace. Seriously, every time you had a spare minute, your thoughts drifted off to a certain professional footballer and your impending date. What were you going to wear? Where would he take you? Would you kiss again? Would it feel as good? The last two thoughts turned into scenarios, which you turned into your head that night. Vibrator pressed against your clit, head buried in the pillow, saying please.
At least the orgasm ensured you had the best sleep of your life. You couldn't wait for the day to end. And after selling out the Roy biographies like hot cakes, it wasn't easy to keep your thoughts away from him.
And he doesn't make it any easier when he walks in, takeaway containers in one hand, and an expensive looking bottle of wine in the other.
"Well Enchanté to you too." You say, wondering why he's brought an impromptu picnic. As if he can read your mind, he goes
"Restaurants when you're famous can get overwhelming. Either our meal would be interrupted by fans, or I'd have to take you to a place where they sell miniscule portion for insane prices. And the latter isn't my vibe, nor is the first. So let's dig in here." Roy clears up a space like a pro, setting up everything. He's got good taste, you practically moan at the food. You get to know each other, even playing rounds of trivia against one another. He's surprisingly good at distinguishing Shakespeare from Taylor Swift and you're surprisingly hilarious at making up football terms. Deeming that VAR stands for Very Accurate Reaction. After just two glasses, the wine is abandoned. Roy tells you about the breakthroughs he's making with coach Lasso. You teasingly give him a peck so he can reap more good luck. You kiss and kiss and kiss until you think that you're going to explode. That's when you say the magic words, "Roy, take me home." And he does.
He doesn't mind visiting people, you think. His shoes are in the corridor, jacket on the hook. Lips on yours, hands trailing down.
"Can I touch your perfect fucking tits?" He asks and as soon as you say yes, his hands are on you. Grabby, but gentle. He kisses down your chest, scraping his beard against you, making it more intense. His tongue is on you and he doesn't miss how sensitive you are. How you arch for his touch, how you moan like a man hasn't made you feel this good. Maybe it's been while? That's why you're chanting his name like a prayer, rutting against him. If you're in his lap, may as well ride him, he wants to say. You're certainly feeling how you're affecting him. He respected pillow princesses, he was fine with you being a starfish, sure he'd do all the work. But now? You were just plain giving him blue balls.
He places a hand on your thigh.
"Darling, I'm all for getting what's yours, but wanna help me out here?" He asks, motioning to the tent in his jeans. Roy sees you deflate, turn red and try to scamper off him. He asks what's wrong and almost books a hearing test when you mumble something under your nose. He needs you to repeat yourself.
"I've never had sex, okay. I'm a virgin." You admit, feeling very exposed. But Roy doesn't laugh or leave or say ew. He doesn't look like he broke a precious teapot. He just asks what you want to do next. And you surprise both of you by saying, "I wanna change that tonight."
Roy kisses you again, gentler, but with urgency. Slowly peels off your clothes, not missing a chance to tell you how beautiful you look, how he can't wait to touch you. He strips of his shirt and pants, leaving you to take off his boxers. You marvel at his cock and he's ready to screw everything and have you when you say "This is my first time seeing one. Are they always so big?". He guides your hand in touching him, his fist over yours, stroking. He thrusts his hips up, just to show you you make him feel good. He swears he's died and gone up to heaven when you sink lower on the bed and ask to blow him. Your tongue is so eager, you're lapping and sucking and paying attention to the head just like he told you. For a second he regresses to his younger self and thinks "Oh, how fun will it be to train her to be a slut for me, to teach her how to make a men feel good and just ruin her for the rest."
He needs more, because if your mouth is that soft and warm, he can't imagine how nice your cunt will feel. He makes you pull away, doesn't miss how you stare at the string of drool between your lips and his cock. Saving that one to the fucking spank bank. Roy fishes out a condom from his wallet, glad he assumed the best of himself and you. He rolls it on his length, pinching the tip. Roy knows you're wet enough. He feels how soaked you are. But he wants to prep you, to feel your cunt clench around his fingers first. He rubbs your clit first, sliding one finger inside of you slowly. Then as you're still adjusting, he adds a second. He's fast, laser focused on making you cum or just about. He stops as you're nearing your peak and asks "Can I? Are you ready?" You nod, uttering a quiet yes, so he lines his cock against you. He taps it against your clit once, so you feel his sheer length. Roy nudges it between your pussy lips and slowly moves.
"You're so fucking tight. And doing so good for me. Just breathe and take me in, that's right." He slides his hand in between the two of you, playing with your clit. That distracts you from the slight discomfort and you're squeezing him even more.
"Feels good?" He asks and all you can do is nod and moan for more. He pulls out slightly and thrusts back in. When he leans down and kisses your nipples, you're done for. You're cumming against him, and it feels so good, so much more intense than an orgasm from your own fingers. When he cums, thrusts fast and precise against your overstimulated cunt, you know all the smutty romance you had ever read was not exaggerated.
Roy Kent was almost better at aftercare than he was at fucking you. He carried you to the couch, as he popped the sheets in the washing machine (on cold and with the slightest bit of Vanish sprayed on a particular spot.). He made you drink copious amounts of water and played with your hair, telling you how good you were for him.
"You know if kissing me gives you good luck in practice, I think with this, you're gonna be winning the whole league." You say, and he laughs. Long gone is the grumpy older man who was complaining about not being able to return a wrinkle of time.
💌Cupid's Note: This is a republished post, I had it posted on the OG account before I got hacked. Happy Reading! - Ultralight
⚠️Cupid's Disclaimer: bad writing
❤️🔥Heart Rate: 3.9k+ words
💋 Cupid's Hint: Inspired by Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift for the Midnights Album Event I did before I got hacked.
💘 Main Masterlist: HERE
💌Request Inbox: OPEN
Happy Reading! ❤️
♡ ⸻ ♡ ⸻ ♡
I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser
Midnights become my afternoons
When my depression works the graveyard shift
All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room
It had been an issue for years, one that was directly caused by your mother.
It’s not that she was a villain, and it wasn’t like she knew she was doing it anyways, it was always something that just managed to slip out of her mouth in passing moments . A quick ‘that shows your back fat’ there and a ‘are you sure you like that color? It washes you out baby’. Always said with that tone that made you rethink every decision in life.
She did it out of love.
But the comments she made built up, that and the pressure of school and social media building up. It all took a toll on you. You found your life mixed with new issues. Anxiety, self-doubt, depression, and you became a new person.
It was like a shadow version of you, one that tracked how much she ate and thought about how loud she laughed and how much was too much talking. Every single move you made was tracked and overthought.
But then Roy came into the picture.
At first you did what you usually did, you tried to speak low and not draw too much attention. Tracking how much you laughed and how much you ate. It was fine because your friend group never really realized it, they didn’t know a thing was out of place. But Roy, who had been brought by his sister, was quick to call it out.
“Fucking stop that.” He muttered when you tried to fix your skirt, using his hand to slap yours away. “You look fucking perfect. Take a breath, yeah?”
“I just…. I’m debating the color, everyone else wore pastels and I hadn’t realized that it would be that type of party.” You admit, body hot with embarrassment as a group of girls pass you at the party. But that was the least of your worries, you had eaten too much cake and had tripped on the stairs in front of your friends. Could everyone see your makeup on your neck? Were they laughing at you-
“Do you overthink everything?” Roy blurts, catching your elbow to pull you back gently as a waiter with a heavy tray passes by. “Because I’ll tell you right now that you’re the prettiest fucking woman at this party.”
“You can’t say that at someone’s birthday party.” You laugh, stepping closer to him without realizing. “That’s one of the biggest rules. It’s like saying someone is prettier than Aphrodite. Next thing you know that person will be cursed to marry your father because the goddess hates you.”
“I’m sorry?”
“It’s…. Greek mythology. I’m not going to marry my dad. It… okay. I’ve ruined this so I am just going to-” You move away quicker than he can follow and you think that it was over. But you had not known just how determined Roy Kent was.
Soon enough he was taking you out, one date became 4 which led to a relationship. 10 months in and you were the happiest you had ever been. He saw you, in every outfit and every mood and every way, and he loved you just as you were.
But there was something you didn’t expect, the amount of attention that would come with dating a professional football player. It was a whole new demon in itself.
♡ ⸻ ♡ ⸻ ♡
I should not be left to my own devices
They come with prices and vices
I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I'll watch as you're leaving
'Cause you got tired of my scheming
(For the last time)
Lunches with your mother were the worst, and yet you loved her more than anything. Today she chose an extremely fancy restaurant dressed in a Valentino outfit and her makeup to perfection as she cut her salad up with her fork and knife.
“Oh this is dreadful.” She sighs, shaking her head. “There is barely any chicken in here. This is insane. Do you see chicken?”
“There is chicken.” Roy shrugs, narrowing his eyes a bit. Lunches with them were always such a weird dynamic considering they were exact opposites. Your mother looked for drama, she thrived off of arguing. Roy chose brutal honesty, he worked best on shutting arguments down before they could even start. “It’s right there.”
“Oh, baby that is a terrible color on you.” She huffs, sitting the plate back down and turning her glare on you as her hand raises to call the server over. “It washes you out. What have I told you about-”
“She looks fucking stunning today.” Roy scoffs, blinking slowly.
“It’s fine.” You whisper to him, trying to defuse the situation.
“No, it’s not.”
“Now I read somewhere that there is a big fundraiser gala coming up, it was in the paper. I assume you both will be attending.” Your mother begins, smiling when the server starts heading over. “You should let me dress you darling. I know how you get anxious about that all and I want to make sure you look your best.”
“She’ll look bloody fantastic in anything-”
“Oh you finally decided to serve your table.” Your mother interrupts him, talking to the server and completely disregarding your boyfriend.
He takes a moment to lean over to you, catching your eyes. “I’m about to stab my fork into my fucking eye.”
“I know.” You smile, leaning in closer to kiss his cheek which makes him growl a bit at the pda but you see the smile he fights off anyways. “We’ll be gone soon.”
“You look great and the dress you pick will be fantastic. Don’t listen to her.” He gruffs out.
“Have you seen those posts of you two? They were commenting on your age difference and I just want you to know that I do not think you are too immature for him. Truthfully honey I am proud, I never thought you’d make it with someone so accomplished. I mean it’s not like you had many prospects.” She laughs as the server sends Roy a wide eyed look while taking her plate away leaving the table once more.
“That’s it.” Roy snaps, slamming his silverware down on the table and pointing his finger at her. “You watch how you speak to her. She’s perfect. And she will be a bombshell at the gala.”
Your mothers face flushes, blinking at him slowly as Roy goes back to his meal like nothing happened while you fight off a smile, your foot rubbing his calf under the table in a silent thank you before you try to pull it back only for his legs to slam shut keeping your foot held there.
He sends you a sharp look, but the corner of his mouth curves up and you know that was his way of showing his love so you take it, smiling right back at him.
♡ ⸻ ♡ ⸻ ♡
It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me
At tea time, everybody agrees
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
The dress you chose for the gala was perfect, you were excited to wear it and truthfully you were excited about the whole thing. This would be the first event you had ever attended with the Richmond team in the public eye, and you wanted to make a good impression.
But your mothers words from the years rang through your head constantly as you waited for their practice to end, leaning against the wall in the hallway as you thought about everything.
“Oh! Hello.” A angelic voice rings out, pulling your attention to Rebecca Welton coming down the hallway, making you stand up quickly.
“Ms. Welton! Hi, hello, hey…. I’m saying hi in too many ways.” You blush, moving to shake her hand. “It’s great to see you again.”
“I was just about to say the same thing. Are you waiting for the boys?”
“I am, yeah. My car is in the shop so I need a ride.”
“Oh lovely, will I be seeing you at the gala? I have been planning it for weeks, my ex husband used to plan it. The wanker.”
“I’ll be there. I just hope I dress well enough.” You laugh slightly, but her eyebrow raises and you panic slightly. Did everyone on this team just see right through all your shit?
“You’ll look perfect. I wish I still had a figure like yours.”
“ANGEL!” Someone calls out before you are lifted into the arms of Danny Rojas, kissing the side of your face as he swings you around.
“Alright. Set her down, will ya?” Roy snaps, coming around the corner and rubbing his knee as Danny sets you down quickly, kissing your cheek one more time before heading away. You lean forward and rub Roy’s knee right where you know he feels the most pain.
“Is it hurting a lot?” You mumble, as he pulls your hand away. “Sorry, did I hurt you?”
“No, I just don’t want to moan in the middle of this hallway. Let’s go home?” Before you can even answer he is grabbing your bag and moving to take you to the car.
♡ ⸻ ♡ ⸻ ♡
Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby
And I'm a monster on the hill
Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city
Pierced through the heart, but never killed
Roy was in a shit mood the day of the gala, slamming cupboard after cupboard. You knew he was irritated about having to dress up and see the reporters that used to write about him all the time, and you knew in moments like this it was best to let him work through it. But sometimes you just couldn’t stay away.
Shuffling closer, in his shirt, you wrap your arms around his center and shove your face into his back. He huffs out as he keeps swiping the sponge against the counter, but he doesn’t push you away so you take a chance and kiss between his shoulder blades. “It’s going to be okay. What they say about you doesn’t matter.”
He sighs out, letting go of the sponge before turning around in your arms and wrapping his own around you, placing a kiss on your forehead.
“You were young and they were assholes for that…. So fuck them.”
“Fuck them.” He repeats.
“You’re going to walk by them in your fine ass suit with your fine ass body-”
“Please don’t objectify me.” He mumbles, but a smile is already on his lips as he leans down to kiss you deeply before pulling back. “And I will have the brightest fucking gem with me tonight.”
“Oh, c’mon.” You blush, trying to pull back but his arms are tight around you.
“I think we need to fuck.” He huffs kisses at your face again.
“Don’t be so crass!” You laugh, trying to escape him and shuffling you both to the bedroom right as your phone rings. “It’s my mother.”
“No. Don’t answer.”
“I have to, or she’s gonna be mad.” You answer back, watching his face turn dead serious as he looks at you. His hands come up to rub at your jaw.
“You listen to me you little rat.” He mumbles, you fighting back a laugh at the nickname. “Don’t listen to a word she says, because you are beautiful.”
“I won’t. I promise.” You promise, kissing his lips deeply and losing yourself to the kiss for a moment before he pulls back and shuffles to continue cleaning the counter. You swipe your thumb across the screen and mumble out a “Hello mother.”
“Oh you’re there! I thought you were about to ignore my call.” She snaps through the phone.
♡ ⸻ ♡ ⸻ ♡
Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism
Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I'll watch as you're leaving
And life will lose all its meaning
(For the last time)
You broke your promise, and you let your mother get the best of you.
Her words from earlier bounce around your mind as you get ready. You debate whether or not your hair looked healthy as you spray hairspray across it. Did it look greasy? Untamed? Could they see your split ends?
Was your nail polish the wrong color? Was there a patch of hair on your legs that you missed? Did the dress color wash you out? Did you look too heavy? Was it too late to cancel?
“You look…. “ Roy blinks, coming up behind you to help zip the dress. “Fuck.”
“Is that good?” You ask, biting at your lip as he leans to kiss the nape of your neck.
“Good? You look bloody amazing.” He snaps, kissing your neck one more time before standing straight. “Now let’s go make money.”
“What are we fundraising for? I never looked into it?”
“I have no fucking clue.”
“Right.” You laugh, turning with your hand in his as he kisses your knuckles softly. “Then let’s go make money for whatever needs money.”
“Make a fortune.”
♡ ⸻ ♡ ⸻ ♡
It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)
At tea time, everybody agrees
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
Your lip was worn down from the amount you had been biting it.
Walking up to the gala you saw a red carpet with dozens of flashing cameras and begin to panic as you get closer, your hand tightening in Roys as he stands straighter. You would not be able to handle the cameras and see your picture all over the internet. What would people say? They would trash you, oh how bad would it be?
But Roy, ever the perfect man, simply held your hand tight and walked across the red carpet with a confidence that made your skin hot. He muttered to each that called his name, his voice deep and uncaring. “No. No. Fuck you. Fuck off. Fuck no.”
A smile blooming across your face as you let him lead you into the building where everyone is walking about with drinks in their hand.
“I’m going to go get us drinks. Your usual?” He asks, waiting for your nod before heading in the direction of the bar leaving you standing there to take a look around.
You took your chance to look around at everyone around you, smiling at anyone you make eye contact with. The anxieties began rising, as every gorgeous female passed you in their perfect dresses. Was your dress cheap looking? Did you look pathetic?
You were caught up in your thoughts as Jamie approached with his date, a model that introduces herself with a hug that makes you sniff caramel, leaving you with a crater in your chest as you look at her perfection. Jamie talks about the gala, looking around at everyone as a flash makes you blink, all three of you turning to the person that just took your picture.
“The actual fuck?” Jamie scoffs, staring at him. “We were having a conversation, ye?”
“Sorry.” The man nods, moving to walk off and bumping into Nate with another apology. “Didn’t see you.”
“Hi Nate.” You smile, trying to seem calm when he walks up. “You look great.”
“Thank you! Mr. Lasso actually bought me this suit.”
“Who?” You blink, trying to see who he had been talking about. It wasn’t meant to be a snappy or snide comment, you had yet to be introduced to the new coach and the name didn’t ring a bell at first. But the second you saw the man with the mustache owning the crowd not far off you knew who Nate was talking about.
But when you turn back to Nate you see a glare set on his features, his cheeks a little red as he blatantly looks away from you. “You look great, Jamie. You as well Keeley.”
Then he walks off, bumping into you harshly as he passes which makes the blonde look at you with wide eyes as Jamie excuses himself for another drink.
“Oh, that was extremely rude of me. I shouldn’t have asked about the coach- that was-”
“What are you talking about?” She blinks, looking extremely confused. “You didn’t do anything wrong?”
“Here you are.” Roy grunts, handing you the chilled glass. “Keeley.”
“Hello Roy.” She smiles before Jamie whistles to pull her over.
“Did he just call her like she was a dog?” You ask Roy as she walks over, and he shrugs.
“He’s a wanker. Always has been and always will be.” Roy grunts out, rolling his eyes. “He doesn’t ever pass the ball. And he is a massive tool. You should hear some of the things he says to-” He begins to explain as you try to smooth out your dress before his hand shoots out to stop you. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Your answer was too quick, his eyes narrow and he catches it.
“What happened?”
“I just…. I think I upset Nate because I asked to Lasso was and I didn’t mean to and everyone here looks amazing. But I’m fine. Everything is fine.”
“Did that little fuck say something?”
“No. It’s fine Roy. Everything is fine.” You smile, leaning forward to kiss his lips which he allows before moving back and holding his hand knowing he doesn’t like pda. “Let’s go find our seats?”
♡ ⸻ ♡ ⸻ ♡
I have this dream my daughter in-law kills me for the money
She thinks I left them in the will
The family gathers 'round and reads it and then someone screams out
"She's laughing up at us from hell"
“Hello Roy, you handsome devil you.” A southern voice rings out, walking up to where you and Roy were seated together. “And what pairs so well with a handsome devil? An angel.”
“The devil is technically… well historically the devil is an angel.” You blush, immediately feeling stupid as the fun fact slips from your lips. “Well, I mean- I’m sorry that was stupid.”
“Stupid? Absolutely not. I feel ashamed that I didn’t know it.” He laughs, leaning to shake your hand. “My name is Ted, all my friends call me Ted which means you must.”
“It’s wonderful to meet you. Roy was telling me about all the new techniques at your practices.” You smile, making your boyfriend shake his head.
“I said nothing good.” Roy huffs.
“He said everything good.” You smile which makes Ted smile back.
“You both look fantastic. Have a drink on me, since it’s an open bar.” Ted jokes, moving to walk away as Roy places his hand on your lower back.
“Why the fuck would you tell him that I said good things?” He huffs and your stomach drops.
“I’m sorry. It was just teasing and you do always say great things about him so-”
“Take it easy. You are fine.” He shakes his head. “Are you okay?”
You hadn’t noticed but your fists had clenched and your nails were digging into your skin, his own fingers were quick to make you release the hold and rub his thumb over the crescent marks left on your skin before bringing your hand up to kiss your palm.
“I thought you hated pda.” You whisper, leaning so your foreheads were pressed together as he pretended to roll his eyes.
“Fuck it. I have a gorgeous date and I deserve to kiss her in public.”
“Are you sure? It’s a big move for you.”
“Have you seen yourself? Prettier than the goddess aphrodite.” He smiles and your eyes widen.
“How. Dare. You! What have you done? I’m going to have to marry my dad now. Roy, how could you have done this to me?” You laugh, shaking your head. “I also cannot believe you remember that from almost a year ago.”
“Of course I remember.” He blinks. “That was the first conversation I had with the love of my life. Who would forget that?”
“Oh knock it off.” You mumble, shaking your head.
“Knock it off? Knock what off?” He snaps. “Do you realize how fucking lucky I was that day? The day you looked at me? My life was made. The second best day of my life.”
“Second?”
“Second. My niece’s birth is the first.”
“I’m fucking honored.” You laugh, smiling from ear to ear.
“Did you just cuss?”
“I did. I’m sorry. My mother would kill me.” You blush.
“Can I be honest with you for a second?”
“When are you not?”
“Fuck your mother.” He blurts, which makes your eyes widen. “I hate her. I think she is miserable and you are far fucking prettier than aphrodite and you don’t have to worry about the goddess making you marry your dad because I will be marrying you. No goddess or god could keep me from you.”
“Oh yeah?”
“You’re stuck with me. And I need you to stop being to fucking mean to yourself. You hear me?” He asks seriously. “Because that’s the love of my life you are talking about.”
“I can try.”
“Good. Now lets get another round and wait this fucking gala out. Then lets go get actual food because I know you skipped lunch.”
“Sounds like a plan.” You smile before a flash blinds you once more, making you both whirl to the man with the camera.
“You fucker-” Roy begins to stand as he dashes off.
♡ ⸻ ♡ ⸻ ♡
It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me
It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me
It's me, hi, everybody agrees, everybody agrees
You both end up at a late night potato stand, sitting on one of their benches as you both laugh at the memory of the auction that had taken place.
“A fucking grandma bid on me. You know how embarrassing that was?”
“Hey! I bid on you too!” You laugh, body shaking from laughing so hard. “And Keeley!”
“Keeley was pissing that little wanker off.” He huffs, rubbing your thigh gently as you keep his blazer wrapped around you. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.”
“Thank you for bringing me. I am sorry I upset Nate-”
“Stop saying sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.” He mumbles, leaning to dig his spoon into your baked potato and take a big mouthful of it. “Fuck. That is good.”
“You say that about anything I get! You always do this!” You laugh, pretending to pull the potato away.
“You always choose better!”
♡ ⸻ ♡ ⸻ ♡
It's me, hi (hi), I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)
At tea (tea) time (time), everybody agrees (everybody agrees)
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
“Fuck!” You wake up to the sound of Roy yelling from the kitchen, rushing to wrap yourself in the sheet left on the bed from last night as your feet pad across the floor to find where he is at.
You find him sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee, glaring at his laptop, until he sees you coming out of the bedroom in just a sheet.
“Fuck.” Unlike his last curse this one is said with a lusty tone, setting the coffee down as you come closer to the couch and move to sit by him.
“What’s got you so mad, handsome?”
“They posted a picture of me and they said I’m retired. What fucks.”
“Is it a bad idea? To be retired?” You ask, moving to straddle him before he can pull an attitude. “You would have more time with me. More time to hang out and cuddle and sleep and…. You can finish the rest.”
