Sep 30, 2025
Twas the night before kinktober. And tumblr is brewing
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Twas the night before kinktober. And tumblr is brewing
‘why do you read “various x reader stories?”’
first, i’m a narcissist and will not read it if it’s not about me
second, I love the feeling of people liking me
third, I was ignored as a child
me, a writer, at 3am: WHAT? I CANT FIND THE SPECIFIC FANFIC THAT I MADE UP IN MY MIND WITH A WHOLE PLOT AND ORIGINAL CHARACTERS??? WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE??? DO THEY EXPECT ME TO WRITE THE STORY I THOUGHT UP OF???
the word
need this man real bad y'all...
I HAVE HAD AN AWFUL WEEK, enjoy this <3 this is my first time writing Ted so hopefully I captured him well (i think i did)
summary: Most couples have a safe word to stop, or pause, sex. Not you and Ted. You have a word to start it. Anticipation grows, anxiety forms, and you long for the day the word is said.
Maybe tonight’s the night?
Ted Lasso x Fem!Reader
wc: around 5800
cw: SMUT!! MDNI. brief mention of Michelle and readers past toxic relationship (literally one sentence and no detail), oral (f receiving), fingering, LIGHT dom/sub aspects (if you squint), accidental marking (hickey), protected p in v, ted gets pussy drunk, first time together, a little bit of fluff, some aftercare, the L word said (x2), no use of "y/n"
Dinner and a movie.
That’s how the night is planned. Just dinner, and a movie. So what are you so nervous for? You wring your hands together again, kneading at the squish between your thumb and pointer finger as you scrub them in the bathroom sink. A wide-eyed expression looks back at you in the mirror. Your whole body tingles and your knees almost feel like jelly, struggling to support you.
Why the fuck are you so nervous?
Ted has been over plenty of times. Plenty. Many dinners, and many movies. But tonight… just feels different.
It’s been eight months since Ted and you started dating, and four since you both put an official label on it. But, you haven’t had sex. Not for any bad reason. It was a mutual decision. Ted was still working through his divorce, and you were working through your own stuff after a not-so-healthy relationship with your ex. So, taking things slow was a decision you both decided on. When you first started dating, eight months ago, you both sat down and discussed things, in length. Waiting on sex wasn’t something that was skipped over, and you both decided to wait until you were both ready, until you both gave the word.
Skip to four months ago, when you put an official label on the relationship, you said the word. Ted did not. This was mortifying for you, and you immediately worried about him ending everything. But, he didn’t. He just explained, carefully and thoroughly, that he wasn’t ready for that step yet. That he wasn’t upset, or mad, or regretful, any other adjective you asked. Which put your mind at ease.
However, things have changed. There was a subtle shift in the relationship that did not go unnoticed by you. Lingering touches, heated make-outs with a bit more groping leading to Ted excusing himself to the bathroom for a few minutes. His ability to hold back is faltering. You don’t know if it’s on purpose– if he’s working up the courage to say the word, or if he is fighting with himself because he’s not ready and you’re, accidentally, pressuring him.
You sigh, hard, and shake your arms out to try and rid yourself of your nerves. Maybe, nothing will even happen. Maybe it’s all in your head–
No. There was absolutely no way. Not after last time. Not after he kissed you like that. All fiery, and passionate. Not after he held the back of your neck, tangling his hand through your hair, keeping you close like you could just slip away at any moment. After the way he groaned when you moved your hips in his lap. Not after the way he looked at you at work today, his eyes glued to yours, bottom lip tucked in his teeth, eyes glassy and spaced out like he was lost in his thoughts. Nor after the way he brushed past you in the break room. When his crotch brushed your ass as he, unnecessarily, pushed his hips against you as he reached for a coffee mug in the cabinet above your head.
Especially not after the way he whispered in your ear “see you later tonight, darlin’” in a husky, low, tone when you left work.
You groan, leaning against your bathroom counter, bracing yourself on it with your hands. In anticipation, you took a shower, scrubbed, exfoliated, shaved everything you wanted, styled your hair, slipped into a matching navy lace set (Ted’s favorite color), put on a bit of make-up, your favorite perfume, a long satin skirt and knit sweater, and made sure you had a box of condoms tucked into your nightstand. You’re beginning to overthink. Worry settles with an acidic burn in your throat, that maybe, maybe this isn’t the night. Maybe you read the signs wrong– saw what you wanted, misunderstood–
A knock at your front door breaks you from your thoughts. Your heart rate picks up even more, like it could explode at any moment. Maybe you should change? Put on some sweats, take off your make-up–
Jesus, fuck. Just go out there. You check yourself in your mirror one last time, smoothing your hair, and adjusting your top. You suck in a breath, standing up straight and holding your head high. You hold it for a few seconds, then let it out, relaxing your shoulders with a roll.
You round the corner to your door too quickly, nearly slipping in your socks against the hardwood, but manage to catch yourself on the handle. You pull it open without checking through the peep-hole.
“Happy Date-iversary– woah,” Ted’s smile falls open. “Jeez, darlin’, don’t you look like…” he trails off. You give him a soft smile, then look at the bouquet he’s holding.
“I was gonna say somethin’ coherent, but that train has left the station,” he finishes, eyes trailing back to yours.
“I wear this outfit a lot,” you breathe out a laugh. It’s true, you’ve probably worn this exact outfit and similar ones to work a few times in the past month.
“Oh, I know, but somethin’... somethin’s different,” Ted furrows his eyebrows slightly, like he’s having an entire internal monologue.
“Well, come on in,” you stand to the side of the door. He nods, stepping in without taking his eyes off of you.
Suddenly, he clears his throat and makes his way to the kitchen. You follow behind after closing and locking your front door. As he walks in front of you, you notice he still has his work backpack on his shoulders. He must have stayed later and came over as soon as he got off. Which would also explain why he is still in his Richmond sweatshirt and those goddamned khakis that are a little too tight in his crotch.
“I got these for you,” Ted says, opening your cabinets to locate the vase he also got for you the first time he brought you flowers.
“Thank you, Ted,” you smile. “They’re lovely.”
“The florist was out of your favorite,” he explains, setting them down on the kitchen island as he fills the vase with water from your sink. “So, I just told ‘em to make somethin’ special.”
As you’re looking at them, you spot a folded card poking out of the center. Before you reach for it, curious what it is, Ted grabs the bouquet.
He shoots you a soft smile. “Give me a sec, gotta make ‘em look real nice.”
You laugh a little.
“You get that good wine?” He asks suddenly as he fidgets with the flowers in the vase.
“Oh, yeah, it’s in the fidge– I’ll pour us some?” You ask, already opening the fridge and pulling out the bottle.
“Yes, please,” Ted answers.
You hum in response, opening the cabinet next to the fridge and standing on your toes to grab two wine glasses.
Ted hums an unfamiliar tune behind you, still messing with the flowers. “What do you have planned to make for dinner?”
“I got some fresh pasta from the market, and I’m going to make a bolognese for it,” you answer. Quickly, you uncork the wine, and pour yourself a bit too much, hoping it might ease your nerves and the soft, yearning, ache between your legs. You pour Ted a normal amount.
Ted hums in in a satisfied tone, and his hands softly drum against the counter behind you.
When you turn around, Ted presents the flowers with a small “ta-da!”
You smile sweetly, handing him his glass, which he immediately takes a large sip from. His backpack is now hanging from a barstool tucked on the opposite side of the kitchen island. You study the flowers. Hues of purple, cream, and white frame a small notecard that reads–
“Pineapple?” you say aloud. Wait– what?
You look up at Ted, who holds a small smile on his lips. He nods once.
“Pineapple?” you say again, like the word is foreign to you.
Except it’s not. It’s not foreign at all. You had said it four months ago, and four months before that it was the word you and Ted decided on. The word that would signify the announcement that you were ready for the next step. The word that tells the other that you’re ready to have sex.
Ted’s smile falls slightly, his eyebrows easing just a bit. “Don’t tell me you forgot. Or I’m lookin’ real stupid right now.”
You set your glass down, and nearly leap onto Ted, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck in an embrace that has him almost spilling his wine.
“Woah, there,” Ted laughs into your hair, his arms securing you around your waist after he sets his own glass on the counter. You pull your head off his shoulder and press your lips into his. He returns the kiss, humming into you and flattening his hands against the small of your back to pull you closer.
You break away. “You’re serious. Right?”
“Of course,” Ted gives you a soft look. “I wouldn’t joke about that. ‘Specially since I know you’ve been waitin’ on me.”
You cup his cheek with one hand, and he leans into it, turning his head to give your palm a gentle kiss. A gentle pull is all it takes for him to reconnect his lips to yours. You sigh into it, parting your mouth slightly. He takes the invitation, swiping his tongue across yours, then across your lips. He pushes harder, stepping forwards and guiding you backwards.
Your ass hits the kitchen island behind you, and Ted’s hands brace on it, caging you in. You moan into him, your hands cupping the back of his head and clutching into his hair. He groans, pulling back slightly to catch his breath. You follow, pressing a kiss to his chin, then cheek, then parting your lips and teasingly nibbling at his bottom lip. He pushes his hips into yours, and you can feel his cock, stiffening in his khakis. You suck in a breath, breaking from his lips to look down.
Ted’s hand gently grasps your chin, tilting your head to look back up at him. He releases you, and presses a kiss to your forehead.
“Ted?” you ask without really thinking what your question is going to be. A burning heat rises across your cheeks and ears. You press your hands against his chest and rub them up to his shoulders, then back down. Under your fingers tips, you can feel his heart thumping– fast and hard.
“Hmm?” he responds.
“Can-” you pause, suddenly realizing what you’re about to say. Maybe it’s best to get it done, get through the possible awkwardness of the first time so you’re not eating your food in anticipation. “Can we, maybe, wait on dinner?”
“What’re you proposing we do instead?” He smirks.
“I think you know,” it’s barely a whisper.
Ted laughs, not his usual full chested laugh, but almost teasingly. He leans back slightly as he does, his hands finding a place on your hips.
“I do, but maybe I wanna hear you say it.”
Woah.
A beat passes. You’ve lost your words. The heat from your face feels like it's spread all over your body, concentrating at the lower part of your stomach, and between your legs.
Ted leans back in, his lips now inches away from your own. You lean in, but he keeps going past you, until his lips and mustache ghost the shell of your ear.
“C’mon, baby,” he drawls in a whisper. “Tell me what you want.”
In this state, you swear his accent is thicker.
“Please, Ted… I want-,” you pant as his lips press against the spot on your neck right below your ear. “Want– want you to fuck me. I need you to, Ted.”
He groans in response. The next kiss is led by him, and even more longing than the last. He moves slower against you, teasing you with his tongue. His hands slide up your body, ghosting over the fabric of your sweater, across the back of your neck, then gently cupping your cheeks. As the pace of the kiss picks up, he tilts his head to the right just a tad to get a better angle. His mustache tickles your nose as he does, but you don’t care. You can’t care, not when a heat is building this fast at your core. Your hands find his hair again, and gently tug at it.
A nearly pathetic moan falls from your mouth, as he pushes you harder into the counter with his hips. You grind against his restrained cock. A low, choked back, moan catches in his chest. You nearly miss it, but you notice. You hum in response, tensingly, and Ted pulls back.
His lips are shiny with saliva, yours and his, and a bit swollen and flushed a dark pink.
“Jeez, darlin’,” he hums and gently swipes his thumbs across your cheeks. “What’s got you so worked up?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” you tease.
Ted’s left thumb runs across your lips, once, twice, before you take it into your mouth. You meet his eyes as you wrap your lips around it, a failtly salty taste hitting your tongue as you flatten it against it. His mouth falls open slightly, and you move a hand from his disheveled hair to gently grab his wrist. You pull back and release his thumb with an absolutely lewd sluuurp-pop.
“I think we— we should— do you want to—,” he stammers over his words, letting his hands fall to his sides and taking a gentle step back.
You giggle at his sudden nervousness. God does he love it. It’s different than your usual giggle, maybe, or maybe Ted’s brain is too foggy right now to register it.
“I’ve got a lovely couch over there,” you tilt your head to the right, towards your living room. “Or… we could go to the bed?”
Ted looks at your face for a second longer, like he’s trying to read you. “I think the bed would make things more special, right?”
You tuck your bottom lip between your teeth and nod. He gives you a smile, then steps back further, letting you pull yourself from the kitchen island. Gently you take his hand, leading him to your bedroom.
The lamp from your bedside table casts a warm, inviting light in your room. Your bed is neat, the plush comforter smoothed over, the pillows fluffed. As you step into the room, you spin and pull Ted back into you, reconnecting in another heated kiss as you continue to walk backwards. The back of your knees hit the bed, and you wrap your arms around Ted, bringing him down with you as you fall carefully backwards. He catches himself with his hands positioned on either side of you. You work your knees up, planting your heels on the edge of the bed. The smooth fabric of your skirt bunches up, exposing more of your heated skin, and core, to the cool air.
Ted holds himself with one arm, his other lifting. His rough hand gently caresses your exposed thigh, then grips the back of it as he pushes you further onto the bad. You let out a soft gasp, pulling your lips away to assist in scooting back further. Ted sits up, pulling his knees on the bed and resting between your legs. Both of his hands rest on your knees, gently pushing your legs further apart, but his eyes don’t leave yours.
Ted’s usual soft brown irises are nearly flooded by his dilated pupils.
“I need you to tell me to stop, right now, if you don’t wanna do this,” his tone is serious, which embarrassingly makes you tingle, and makes goosebumps rise on your skin.
“Don’t stop,” you whisper, shaking your head side-to-side quickly.
Ted blinks slowly, then leans down again, his hips and thighs pushing your knees out and open even wider as he does. He uses one hand for support, the other slipping under your sweater, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He kisses you again, open mouthed, wanting, yearning. Everytime his lips connect with yours, it feels like the first time again. Like the sparks never stop.
The hand inside your sweater ghosts over the fabric of your bra, catching slightly on your hardened nipple. You whine into his lips as he takes one between his thumb and pointer finger, pinching and rolling it. Your back arches slightly, and Ted takes the opportunity to kiss down your neck. His teeth scrape gently against your pulse, and you suck in a breath. Continuing lower, he leaves kisses against the skin, his mustache tickling against the sensitive skin. He is going agonizingly slow. You’re about to speak, about to beg, when his teeth graze the most sensitive park of your neck– the point right where it meets your shoulder. A half gasp, half moan, breaks through your throat.
Ted smiles against your skin. “Oh, yeah, darlin’?”
You pant slightly as he nips at that point. He takes his time, nipping, sucking, and licking at the skin, all while his hand pinches and massages your breasts. Your back arches off the bed again, a breathy “fuck” leaving your lips.
Heat claws at your skin. Everywhere. You’re starting to feel your arousal soak the lace between your thighs. You don’t know if you’ve ever been this turned on, and Ted has barely done anything. His hand slips from underneath your sweater. At the same time, he pulls his head back. You pout in protest, reaching up to pull him back in, but he stops you.
“Ah,” he leans back further, away from your grasp. “You let me take care of ya, okay?”
This Ted is different from the Ted you’re used to. Sure, he’s just as sweet and charming as ever, but something is different, you just can’t quite tell what yet. Whatever it is, it send a bolt to your core and you nod, wordlessly.
Ted gives you a soft smile, gently caressing your cheek. His hands grip the bottom of your sweater, and you lean up a bit as he tugs it off. His eyes drop to your chest, and you see his chest puff out a breath.
“Fuck,” the word falls in a breathy huff from his lips, almost like he didn’t mean to say it. His hands, both now, cup your breasts above the navy lace, kneading at them. “You’re so beautiful, baby. You wear this for me?”
“Y-yes,” you stutter out, your cheeks flushing even more. “It’s your favorite color.”
“I see that,” Ted says, amused. “If I knew these were what you’ve been hidin’ under your clothes, I might've done this a long time ago.”
He leans down and presses a kiss to your sternum. Then to the exposed parts of each breast.
“I wanna take this off, but I have a feelin’ it’s matchin’ somethin’ else, and I’ve got to see them together, hm?” He hooks a finger under the middle part of your bra. You nod quickly.
Ted sits up again, then uses your knees as support as he pushes himself to stand off the bed. You sit up, already missing the weight of him between your thighs. But, you don’t get much time to think about that before he hooks his hands into the waist of your skirt, pulling it down in one quick, smooth motion. He stands straight, the tent in his khakis very evident, making you nearly drool.
“Look at that,” Ted hums. One hand, spreads your legs back open, then slides down the inside of your thigh. His other hand adjusts himself in his pants, gripping at his cock, truly showing how big he is. And, Jesus Christ, were you not expecting that. A pleasant surprise, really.
“Ted,” it comes out needier than you meant. “I know you probably want to savor the moment a bit, but I really fucking need you right now.”
Ted’s eyes flicker to yours, then back between your legs. The hand on your thigh slips further down, pressing against the sopping fabric covering your pussy. Your mouth falls open and you suck in a breath.
“Oh, sugar, I can see that,” the hand on his crotch clenches again and he groans. “You’re right, though. I think if I do what I really wanted right now, I’d ruin my pants.”
You let out a breathy laugh. “Please,” you whisper.
His eyes meet yours again, and the hand on your pussy pushes harder making you gasp out a needy “please, fuck me.”
“Fuck,” he groans. “You don’t needa ask me again.”
He steps back a bit, grabbing the bottom of his Richmond sweatshirt and pulling it over his head. His fingers work quickly to unbutton his under shirt, but not quickly enough for you. You sit up fully and scoot yourself to the edge of the bed, letting your legs dangle off the edge of it.
Ted watches you, and steps forward when you reach for his belt. With one hand, you cup his cock, needing to feel it, and with the other you undo his belt, the button of his pants, and the zipper. Once you’ve done that, his button-up is off and his hands quickly remove his undershirt. You run your hands down his chest and stomach. He pushes his pants down next, taking his boxers with them. He toes off his shoes then kicks them, his pants and boxers, to the side. You continue running your hands down, taking his length into your hand and pumping it slowly.
Ted’s hips jerk slightly at your touch. He takes a step closer, reaching down between your legs and shoving your panties to the side to finally touch at your slick folds. You suck in a breath, pressing your forehead against his stomach and watching as he runs two fingers through your lips, gathering your arousal. You pick your head up, looking up at him with pleading doe-eyes, and he nearly melts. You watch as he raises his slick fingers to his lips, taking them into his mouth and humming as he tastes you.
“Y’know, I’ve always loved havin’ dessert before dinner,” he comments.
You bite at your bottom lip, squeezing his cock harder as you continue to pump him. He groans, his head lulling back for a moment. Then, he nearly falls to his knees in front of you. Without any hesitation, he pushes your legs open, and yanks you towards him until your ass is dangling off the bed. You let out a surprised gasp, one hand propping yourself up behind you, the other lacing though Ted’s hair as he shoves himself between your thighs, draping both of your legs on his shoulders. He pulls your panties completely to the side, then holds onto the front of your thighs.
“Jesus- fuuuuck,” the word is drawn out as Ted begins lapping at your pussy like a starved man. A very experienced, very practiced, starved man. His hands grip at the front of your thighs, close to your hip bones. Your eyes roll back and your head lulls back too. Ted groans against you. Obscene slurping noises fill the room and you begin to pant out moan after moan.
Any worries of awkwardness with this being your first time in bed together are thrown out of the window as Ted sucks at your clit. Your hips roll into him, and he hums against you, sending a shock up your spine. You moan out his name, hand pulling at his hair. He taps your thigh with his hand, and you to look at him. He looks up at you, with an expression in his eyes you can only place as absolutely pussy drunk. You push his head harder into you, rolling your hips in time with each lap of his tongue. He moans, his eyes never leaving yours as he continues to eat you out like his life depends on it.
A tight feeling begins to build in your core, and your eyebrows knit together as more moans, higher in pitch, spill out of your mouth. You grind harder against him. His mustache rubs against your clit, which makes you moan louder. His left hand leaves your thigh, rubbing around to your ass and giving it a gentle squeeze before you feel a finger prod at your entrance.
“Oh my– fuck– Ted,” the ‘e’ in his name is elongated as he slips a finger inside of you, curling at just the right spot, like he’s done this to you before. Your back arches as you feel your climax approaching– hard, and fast. Ted slips in another finger, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking. Tingles run through your body as his tongue swipes circles on the exposed bud. Your hips buck against him, and he uses his free arm to hold you steady.
“Ted,” you pant, eyes squeezing shut. “I’m gonna-”
He breaks away for just a second. “‘S’okay, baby. Come on my face.”
Ted quickly resumes his position on your clit, his fingers curling and rubbing at the perfect angle in your pussy. Your pants become more ragged. The hand in Ted’s hair grips tighter, and he moans again. The coil in your stomach finally snaps. A broken, filthy, high-pitched, drawn out moan forces its way out of your throat. Your hips stutter against his face and you feel yourself gush around his fingers. He keeps his pace up through your climax, only slowing down when your hips stop stuttering. He pulls his fingers out first, then flattens his tongue against you, cleaning up your cum. You suck in a sharp breath, attempting to catch your breath.
Ted scoops you up with his hands under your ass, gently repositioning you further back on the bed. You collapse on your back, letting your legs fall from his shoulders as he carefully stands up.
“Darlin’,” Ted hums, his hand resting on your knee, gently rubbing circles with his thumb. You lift your head up. The first thing your eyes land on is his cock. The tip of it is flushed pink, and dripping with precum.
“You okay to keep goin’?” His voice is sticky-sweet. Almost as sticky as his mustache and lips look.
You nod, then point to your nightstand. Ted gives you a soft smile, then steps over to it. You watch as he pulls out a condom, tearing the packet open with his teeth, and gently rolling it onto his painfully erect cock. He pumps himself as he makes his way back between your legs. You prop your feet up on the bed as he kneels between them. A gentle hand grabs your leg, pulling it up to rest on his hip as he aligns himself with your entrance. His eyes meet yours again, a gentle unspoken question in them.
“Please, Ted” you whisper out.
Ted nods once, then slowly, very slowly, pushes himself into you. He nearly collapses on top of you when he’s fully seated in you, and you let out a breathy moan. He props himself up with both hands, and you place yours around the back of his head again, lacing your fingers together. He looks down between you as he pulls out half way, then pushes himself back into the hilt.
“Fuck,” he hisses, then let’s out a small laugh. “You’re so warm.”
You hum at the words, pulling him to meet you in a kiss as his hips start to set a rhythm. The salty, bitter in a good way, taste of yourself is thick on his tongue. He moans into the kiss, his tongue brushing against yours. You mewl as he pushes his hips all the way forward, the tip of him pushing against your cervix in the most deliciously pleasurable way. He breaks the kiss and presses his forehead against yours, panting slightly as he begins to pick up speed. You roll your hips in time with him and he grunts.
Ted dips his head down, licking at the fabric covering your nipples. He takes one between his teeth gently and you gasp, arching your back off the bed, and clenching around his cock. His hips stutter for a moment before picking up speed again. He grunts with each thrust, the noise mixing with your sharp moans.
“Tell me,” he pants. “Tell me how you want it, baby.”
You hum, pulling his lips back to yours in a chaste kiss. “Harder, Ted.”
His eyebrows press together and he listens. Snapping his hips forward with more force than before, keeping the same tempo. Your back arches up, louder moans ripping from your chest as he pushes against your cervix with each thrust. Your hands find his shoulders, nails digging into the skin. You feel fuzzy in the head as another climax starts to build. Ted pushes his lips into yours again, his own higher pitched moan vibrates against your lips. He pulls back again, pushing himself up with straight arms.
Ted’s eyebrows cinch together and he picks up his thrusts a little more. Your core tightens quicker now, and you can just tell Ted is close too. You reach down between your bodies, rubbing quick circles into your clit.
“Fuck,” Ted rasps sharply.
Your hips twitch as you’re drawn closer and closer to the edge. You cup Ted’s cheek with your free hand, and he looks down at you. Your mouth hangs open for a moment as you try to catch your breath.
“I love you,” he whispers.
It’s the first time he's said it. You don’t know if he’s just that pussy drunk, but his sincere tone, and the way he holds your eyes with his, tells you he means it. Truly means it.
“I love you, too, Ted,” you manage between pants and moans. His eyelids flutter and you swear you see his eyes roll back slightly before he squeezes them shut. You can feel yourself teetering over the edge. You move your other hand so they’re both cupping Ted’s cheeks. He opens his eyes to look at yours again.
“Come with me,” you whisper.
As if all he needed was permission, Ted’s hips snap forward two more times before he pushes himself all the way in, moaning loudly as he comes undone. You follow quickly, convulsing around his twitching cock as he spills into the condom. His face contorts with pleasure as you massage every drop out of him. His eyes flutter closed and he falls to his elbows, his nose brushing against yours before connecting with your lips in a passionate, sloppy, post-climax, hazy kiss.
Gently, he rests his body on top of yours, nuzzling his face into your neck and giving you soft kisses where his lips can reach. You giggle as his mustache tickles right under your ear, and you feel his chest vibrate with a small laugh.
You both stay like that for a moment, your heart rates steadily slowing, and your breathing evening out. Ted lets out a content sigh as you trace small circles on his back with your nails.
“Thank you,” he whispers.
“For what?” You ask softly.
He pushes himself up, his softened cock slipping out of you as he does. “For waitin’ for me.”
You give him a soft smile and he brushes a hand across your forehead, following it with a gentle, long kiss.
“Thank you,” you say. “For trusting me.”
Ted lets out a small laugh and stands up. He pulls off the condom and ties a quick knot in it before walking to your bathroom. You hear the sink run for about a minute, then he walks back in with a rag, and water dripping from his mustache.
He hums as he gently runs the rag across your pussy. You hiss at the chill of it and he shoots you an apologetic look. He folds the rag, then tosses it into the hamper by your wardrobe.
“Why don’t we order somethin’ for delivery, get some comfy clothes on, and watch that movie we had planned?” Ted suggests as he pulls on his boxers.
“Yes, please,” you say. “I don’t think I’ll be able to stand and cook dinner.”
Ted laughs and holds out his hands, which you gladly take to steady yourself as you stand from the bed. Your legs shake a bit, but Ted quickly grabs your hips to steady you.
“Woah, there,” he breathes out. “Steady now, sugar.”
After you steady your legs, Ted takes a step back. “I’ve got some clothes in my bag I gotta get. Meet me out there when you’re ready and we can order somethin’.”
“Sounds good,” you nod with a smile. Ted leaves, and you quickly shed your bra and underwear, tossing it into the hamper as you pass it. The wardrobe creaks as you open it, and you pull some clean clothes. You pull on a clean, more comfortable, pair of underwear, some athletic shorts, and Ted’s Richmond sweatshirt that you grab from the floor.
You hear the familiar “dum dum” of Netflix from the living room as you go into your bathroom to pee and wipe off your make up– or at least what’s left of it. The cool water from the sink feels refreshing against your face as you rinse the soap off of it. When you look up, a red mark on your neck catches your attention. You lean in closer, fingers inspecting the area as you look at it through the mirror. A flush hits your cheek when you see an outline of teeth marks, and when you realize it will definitely still be there tomorrow.
Your feet pad gently against the floor as you join Ted on the couch. You plop next to him, and he turns his head to greet you. His eyes widen slightly when he sees the red spot on your neck, his fingers gently swiping across it.
“I’m sorry,” he says sincerely. “I got a little carried away. I’ll be more careful next time.”
You bite the inside of your cheek a little. “I actually… like it.”
Ted’s eyebrows shoot up and his cheeks turn red at your words, making you giggle. He leans in, pecking you on the lips, cheeks, nose, and forehead a few times as you continue to giggle.
“I really do love you,” he says as he pulls back, brushing a thumb across your cheek. “Just want to say it again when we’re not— um, well, y’know.”
“I know,” you smile. “I love you too.”
Soon, you both settle on some food and order it for delivery. From the kitchen, you take a sip of your wine as Ted scrolls through the movie selection on Netflix, trying to find something you both haven't already seen. You lean against the kitchen counter, picking up the card from the bouquet. “Pineapple” is written in a fancy cursive that you definitely know does not belong to Ted.
“Hey, Ted,” you call.
“Hmm?” he responds.
“How the hell did you explain to the florist why you wanted pineapple written on this card?”
if you're here, hope you enjoyed, and LOVE Y'ALL - Tate
ted lasso. afc richmond’s new coach, and your favourite victim to mess with. there’s just something about him. whether it’s the large age gap, that sexy midwestern accent, the silly moustache— it’s safe to admit you’ve got a little crush on him.
today, like every other day, you’re back in his office with a box full of his favourite biscuits, twirling your hair and giggling at every single word he says.
“ohhhh sweet mother of jesus. these gosh-darn cookies… they’re somethin’ else.” ted groans, biting into one, eyes fluttering shut as he leans back in his chair.
“yeah? you like them?”
“darlin’, the day i say no to that question is the day you gotta start lookin’ for the real ted lasso ‘cause that’s an imposter standin’ in front of ya.” you giggle, perching on the edge of his desk. he gives you a warm smile— that classic ted lasso smile that can easily brighten your whole day.
“coach, you got a bit of—“ you murmur, eyes narrowing at the crumbs on his moustache.
“oh—yep—such a messy eater, aren’t i?” he chuckles, letting you brush the crumbs from his face as he tilts his head.
“lemme just—” you bend forward, giving ted a full view of your cleavage, making it practically impossible for him to look away. he swallows hard, feeling his cock twitch in his pants.
when you place one hand high up his thigh to get a better angle, his whole body tenses up, sweat forming on his forehead.
“oi! the fuck is this?!” roy’s gravelly voice ripples through the air like an earthquake, and for a second you swear you could feel the floor beneath you tremble.
“roy!” you squeal excitedly, acting oblivious to the raunchy scene he just walked in on— you, sitting on the edge of ted’s desk, short skirt riding up your bare thighs, tits nearly spilling out of your top in ted’s flustered face.
ted’s eyes turn comically wide, only making him look more guilty than he actually is. roy storms at him and points an accusing finger right in his red-as-a-tomato face.
“she’s half your age, you fuckin’ bellend!”
“oh, boy… let’s not jump to any conclusions, son.” ted raises his hands in surrender as he jumps up from his chair, shaking his head, “she just brought me some cookies! very, very delicious cookies, at that. you should try some if you—”
roy lets out a low grunt, making ted blink rapidly.
“alrighty… a-anyway, we were just chattin’, yeah? platonic—so very platonic—boy, couldn’t be more platonic than this. ain’t that right?”
you nod, unable to contain the cheeky grin spreading across your face as you coyly swing your legs.
“see!” he lets out a nervous laugh, “you know what you need, roy? one of these to cheer ya up.” he grabs a biscuit from the box and hands it to roy with a cheerful nod, who crumples it right in front of ted’s face like it’s nothing.
“or… not. you know what, that’s fine— maybe—maybe you’re just gluten intolerant. more common than you might think!”
roy grabs his collar and yanks him close, face turning a shade of purple that seems humanly impossible.
“if i see you near her one more time, you’re a dead man walking. you hear me, lasso?”
you jump down from the desk, “oh please, roy. don’t be so angry! ted’s a nice guy” you pout, voice breathy and a little too flirty, but roy releases ted nonetheless. he storms out, muttering a ‘fuckin’ hell’ under his breath, and slams the door shut.
“i’m sorry, coach. he’s just such a drama queen, but don’t mind him, ‘kay?” you run a hand over his chest, feeling his heartbeat racing under your palm.
“well, shoot… i reckon that’s my cue to start lockin’ this door during biscuit time, huh?”
Never Too Late (Part 1)
Jamie Tartt x Reader
Find My Jamie Tartt Masterlist here! Inspired by a random tumblr post; (That I would tag if I could find it!) Unknown Number: “Get your fucking shit together and act like an adult” Response: “Think you have the wrong number but you’re right” Warnings: Strong Language (sorry Phoebe…just put it on Roy’s tab)
Word Count: ~1.6k
This year was not going well for Jamie…
Well it was – until he decided to fuck it up just to piss off his dad…
Now he was left hung to dry.
Voted off a reality tv show he never gave a fuck about,
Booted off the Manchester team
Abandoned by his one true passion, now left aimless.
His manager waffling on and on about how he could stop playing football, and just start doing sponsored shit or whatever bullshit he could pull out of his ass…without ever truly living out his full potential on the field.
He just didn’t know where to go.
Now he sits in a club, late on a Thursday night.
People all around him in a sea of movement, lights flashing low and moody, casting a glow of anonymity on everyone around him as the music throbs in his ears.
He has never felt so alone.
Weirdly his mind can’t stop thinking about his time in Richmond…all the possibilities he could’ve had.
That brief moment as they bonded as a team in the most unusual of ways as they warded off bad luck.
He had felt seen and accepted for a moment…in a way he’d rarely felt before.
A sickening weight laid heavy in his gut as his thoughts drifted to all the ways he was a fucking prick even when he didn’t need to be…
Honestly he didn't know what he was doing.
A buzz vibrates in his pocket, bringing him out of his numbed state
He pulls his phone out of his pocket to discover a message from an unknown number
???: [ Get your fucking shit together and act like an adult ]
A shiver ran up his spine as his eyes read the text on his screen
He had no fucking idea if it was the vanilla vodka messing with his vision or if someone deity from above got his phone number
Jamie had never thought himself to be superstitious but this seemed like a fucking sign if he had ever seen one.
Without realising his fingers twitched and started typing a reply
Jamie: [ Think you have the wrong number but you're right ]
He downed the last of his drink, before standing to leave the club.
A rush of the cool evening air hits him as he exits,
???: [ Shit ] ???: [ I’m so sorry! That was meant for my friend ] ???: [ … ] ???: [ but, good luck getting your shit together then? ] ???: [ :) ]
Jamie let out a laugh as he read the response. A genuine laugh. Something he hadn’t done in a while, it felt almost foreign.
Jamie: [ thanks ] Jamie: [ hope your friend gets their shit together too ]
For once, Jamie felt like things might turn out ok.
???: [ 👍 ]
But first he had to get his shit together
Time to visit Richmond.
[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]
It was a just one of those nights
A Thursday night to be exact.
Your work day had ended hours ago, wrapped up and clocked out by 5 pm
Now you're seated at home, stretched lazily among couch cushions, just allowing your body to decompress.
The faint scent of tiger balm emanates from where it was gently rubbed into your skin to ease your muscle’s tensions. Intertwined with the soothing smells of the candles that were burning.
Lights dimmed as a lamp casts a warmth light.
A film plays on tv, something comforting, a film you had watched a hundred times and would likely watch a hundred times more.
A picture of comfort and ease.
…but your attention is elsewhere.
It had been a long season…
Richmond were stuck in a rut. Not winning but not losing.
It simply felt like the Greyhounds were chasing their own tail.
The consolation prize?
A tie.
7 times in a row…
Whilst you weren't part of the immediate team, you felt just as drained.
You had been a part of the Greyhound family for well over a year now, serving as their physio and field medic.
Sprains, bruises, scrapes or worse, you were there and ready to work.
What could’ve easily been just an isolating job, quickly turned into a heavy social investment.
All because of one person.
Ted.
It was honestly a really a bright moment in your job.
He had made you feel a part of the team, and a very necessary one at that.
Ensuring the team environment he was cultivating, included being respectful and appreciative of your work both on and off the field.
It was great to witness his efforts begin to shape the player’s behaviours on and off field – seeping into their performance on the pitch.
You’d like to believe that you knew the players pretty well by now.
From their typical needs and likely injuries, to the exercises you should recommend them. Ted’s insistence that the team be more open and friendly to you and the other members in your staff, had simply made your job even easier, and more enjoyable.
One of the most unlikely friendships you had fostered, was with Mr ‘he’s here! He’s there! He’s every fucking where!’
Roy Kent, himself.
His stubborn character was not an easy feat to overcome.
Your strange friendship was actually the reason you had had the opportunity for the new job with the Greyhounds.
All through a connection from a yoga class.
Your neighbour, Sandy, a lovely – if not a little gossipy – woman in her mid 50s. Who you often enjoyed chatting with now and again, would get you in touch with many of her friends to give her a little extra work.
In Sandy’s words “Y/N simply worked magic. Any aches and she’d help relieve it just like that”
And just like that, Sandy got you in touch with Roy, Sandy’s classmate from their weekly yoga & rosé session.
The humour wasn’t lost on you when you had first met, as you were not expecting this gruff and fit man.
The first few sessions he’d had with you treating his knee, all communication was simply a culmination of grunts and clipped words.
But with a few choice suggestions and comments, the lack of regard for who he was and you just making jokes despite it sometimes feeling like you were talking to a brick wall.
You had slowly made your way into being his friend.
Conversation flowed easily
To the point where your rantings about your current job and the strains it was having on you – made Roy think.
The following session he suggested you work for the Richmond Football Club.
It had certainly caught you off guard,
He just listed all the reasons it could be better; better hours, better pay, closer to home, limited clients you’d actually get to know…
…A week later, you were settling into your new workspace adjoining the locker room of the Richmond Football club.
It was great, you loved the new routine.
Treating the players from any recovering injuries, being present during the games and training as an onsite medic, it was a great change of pace.
The past year had been interesting to say the least.
Now what was once your best buddy at work.
Was now no longer at work.
Roy had left at the end of the last season.
Leaving you all alone in the club he insisted you work for.
Not that you didn’t foster or grow friendships with the other players or other staff on site.
…It simply felt off.
It was strange being at the club and not hearing his gruff responses.
You did your best to reach out to him, and well at the start it was fine – you would see him often enough to help out with his knee recovery, also hang out with him and Phoebe.
Keeley also was a big factor in keeping touch.
But as the months dragged on, your catch ups and talks would lessen more and more.
To the point it made you so frustrated with the stubborn asshole!
As if he was trying to cut out the people from his old life.
It was honestly so childish
Which is what had brought you to now.
Angrily typing out a text for him
Y/N: [ Get your fucking shit together and act like an adult ]
What you did not anticipate however, is your messed up contacts in your new phone.
What you thought was Roy’s number was actually someone else.
Just because of a few misplaced digits.
???: [ Think you have the wrong number but you’re right ]
A flush of embarrassment washed over you, shit!
Your mind raced with possible ways to make this already awkward text chain, less strange, and all you could come up with was shit?
Y/N: [ Shit ] Y/N: [ I’m so sorry! That was meant for my friend ] Y/N: [ … ]
Re-reading their reply, the embarrassment subsides, making you pause. Think about what they could’ve meant.
Maybe this little accident was meant to happen.
Y/N: [ but, good luck getting your shit together then? ] Y/N: [ :) ]
You honestly hoped that whoever this person was, would be able to take this message into practice.
???: [ thanks ] ???: [ hope your friend gets their shit together too ]
Now to get back to finding Roy’s number so that you could tell that asshole to get his shit together and stop ignoring you like a little kid.
Not realising how your message had spurred into motion a chain of events that couldn’t be stopped.
That wouldn’t be stopped.
Not realising how your simple mistake would result in one of the best decisions you had ever made.
Even if it might take a little time to figure that part out.
One day.
Eventually.
Soon enough.
You would learn that your blunt message.
Words intended to push Roy to be fucking better. To stop being such a fucking recluse.
That those very words.
Would lead Jamie to you.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed the first of my first Jamie Tartt fic, there will be more parts to come (probs another 1 or 2; UPDATE theres now a lot more parts). It's sort of been sitting in my drafts for ages, so I thought to put it out, might get me motivated to finish it 🤷♀️. Let me know what you think about it, and if you'd like to be tagged. Read Part 2: To Start Again Comments, Reblogs and Likes are welcomed and appreciated 💕 Feel free to check out my overall Masterlist here
masterlist | ao3 | fic recs
kiss somebody, drink that honey - Ted Lasso x fem!reader
Word count: 3,9k Tags: smut, NSFW, Minors do not interact 🔞, mentions of drinking, dancing, workplace affairs, power imbalance(ish), fingering, unprotected p in v, using pulling out as protection (DO NOT DO THIS IRL GOD), age gap, softdom!Ted Summary:You plan a double date with your friend, but your date stands you up. However when another guy invites you to a drink and some dancing, there's a pair own eyes sticking to you all night. Author's note: This has been standing in my WIP folder for more than a year, being like 80% finished and I totally forgot about it but found it again yesterday, so I thought I'd finish it, hope some of you will like it. ❤
On a regular Friday evening you’d be sitting at your table together with your friends at your favourite bar – the faint smell of hardwood and old leather would mix with the sweet scent of various liquors and delicious food while you’d be laughing about an awkward situation or a hilarious story.
However, on this particular Friday evening you were sitting across your friend and his date. It’s not like you were voluntarily third wheeling them, you were waiting for your own date, who happened to stand you up. You just sat there nursing your drink as you saw a glimpse of a hand on a thigh in front of you and you averted your gaze. Talk about awkward.
The music was loud enough in your ears to muffle the sweet nothings the guy whispered into your friend’s ear as your eyes wandered around the bar. A few people were mingling on the small dance floor, a couple was making out in the corner and a few guys sat at the bar, engaged in a seemingly meaningful discussion.
Your heart skipped a beat when one of them slightly turned his head and revealed his identity to you - his beautiful face turned your way and his eyes caught yours. A look of surprise spread across his features before he flashed a big moustachioed smile towards you. You nodded at him and turned back to your table immediately, heat rushing through your body. It was Ted, from work.
You haven’t spoken an awful lot to him, mostly just small talk in the cafeteria or a small wave on the corridors. But that didn’t stop you from having a huge crush on him.
Your eyes landed on the couple in front of you and you rolled your eyes. You were damned wherever you looked. You took a sip of your drink, the alcohol burned your throat as it traveled and settled in your stomach, but the warmth you felt there wasn’t caused by the drink. You felt it was silly and maybe bit of a schoolgirl crush, but you couldn't help it. He just had something in him that made you want him close to you. Want to look into his eyes. Feel his hands on your waist. Feel his breath grazing your lips.
A voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked up at the man standing next to your table. You didn’t know him, at least you couldn't recall. He was tall and had kind eyes, small dimples framed his smile.
“Excuse me?” You asked, embarrassed that you didn’t catch what he was saying. His smile widened before he spoke again.
“Just wanted to see if you’d like to join me for a drink. But I don’t want to steal you from your... friends” he said, and he paused before saying the last word, cocking his brow at your friend and his date being entangled in each other. You sighed and stood up next to him.
“Sure, a drink couldn't hurt.” You told him your name and shook his hand.
“I’m Daniel” he replied, and he stretched his hand towards the small table he was sitting at and while looking over, your eyes caught a pair of beautiful brown ones. Your eyes lingered at him for a long second before you averted your gaze, heat creeping up your skin.
With only one look Ted could make your heart flutter like a hummingbird. You followed your new date – Daniel – towards his table, which meant you had to pass by Ted and Beard. You tried not to look too much their way to not seem so obvious, but when you passed them you heard your name being called. You stopped in your tracks and turned around, and Daniel followed suit.
“Hello there” Ted nodded your way, and Beard followed.
“Hey Ted! Beard” you said, standing a few feet away from them. Daniel’s gaze shifted between the three of you.
“Good to see you outside of work” Ted said with a beaming smile, his eyes wandering towards Daniel for a second. “Having some good ole’ fun!” He was nursing a beer with one of his hands and you couldn’t help but notice how the sleeves of his dark navy sweatshirt are rolled up, hugging his arms perfectly. You felt heat rise in your body as you tried to regulate your breathing.
“Yeah, well… Gotta blow off some steam from time to time!” Holy shit, why were you so awkward? “I guess I’ll see you at the pitch on Monday?”
“You bet, missy” he smiled and waved the two of you off. You turned away and slowly let out a shaky breath. You settled next to Daniel at his table and took a sip of your drink.
“Was he your boss?”
“No!” You protested before you continued. “Well, I don’t know. Sorta? He’s the coach of the football team that I work for.”
“Bloody hell, you’re right, that’s where he was familiar from! You work for Richmond?” Daniel’s eyes were glowing with excitement, and you weren’t surprised – most people loved their football around here.
“Yeah, I am” you chuckled and took another sip of your drink. You were sitting in the old leather booth with your back against a wall and he was sitting across of you, so you had a great viewpoint on the whole bar. That meant that you saw every time Ted’s eyes were wandering towards you through the crowd. You tried to pay no mind to it, but every time his gaze lingered on you, your stomach dropped, and your heart went into overdrive.
Daniel was a sweet guy and you were having quite a great time – you were talking and laughing about your jobs, football and all kinds of stuff. Even though you weren’t a huge fan of the game initially, working at a football club made you quite fond of football. Especially since Ted was the gaffer. But that was nobody’s business.
As the evening grew older the music became a bit louder, casual after-work groups were switched out by louder party people who occupied the dance floor. You nodded your head and tapped your fingers to the beat of the music before you noticed an inviting hand in front of you.
“Would you spare me a dance?” Daniel asked and you raised a brow at him.
“I’m a shitty dancer” you replied with your brow quirked, but you accepted the invite.
You awkwardly shuffled to the small dance floor that was across the bar, where a certain football coach was still sitting. You tried to pay no mind to that fact, but the feeling of his eyes on you was hard to shake. Dan was holding your hand ‘til you found a comfortable spot and twirled you around to face him. A giggle bubbled up from your chest as he pulled you closer and you started moving to the rhythm.
The alcohol worked hard to cut away your inhibition, and that mixed with the loud music in your ear made you bold and carefree. You were moving your body freely to the music, putting your hands above your head, in your hair, and on Dan’s shoulders. As you twirled your eyes caught Ted’s stare as he was gripping his thigh so hard his knuckles turned pale. It only took a second but a sudden feeling of light-headedness took over you and you almost tripped.
Why was he looking at you all evening? Why did he seem anxious, even agitated? Was it because of you? Was he… jealous?
The thoughts raced in your head as questions flooded your mind. He surely wasn’t jealous; it’s just your wishful thinking.
Devilish thoughts ran through your head as you turned your back to your dance partner and smiled at him before you pushed your back flush against his chest and threw your arms up, surrendering your body to the beat and the music.
You glanced his way, and he was staring, gripping his beer so hard that the vein was visible in his forearm. He raised his brows at you and gave you a knowing look before you slightly turned away.
He was jealous, alright.
You felt a bit guilty for using this sweet guy to make your work crush jealous, but oh well. He couldn’t say he wasn’t having a good time based on the way his hands rested on your hips while you danced. Your discovery made you bold, wanted, and sexy – you felt like a million bucks. You felt his eyes on you the whole time you were moving your body.
After a few songs you settled back at your table and finished your drink before Dan spoke.
“I had a great time with you” he smiled, his hair a bit disheveled from the dancing.
“Me too” you replied and took a sip out of your drink.
“I know this is always like… very awkward, but do you think I can call you sometimes?” he said and let out an awkward chuckle. You smiled at him and nodded before you wrote your number on a napkin for him. “Do you need a ride home?”
“No, thank you. I live pretty close, and I want to say hi to my coworkers before I leave.”
“Sure? I’d feel awful if I’d let you go alone.” Such a gentleman.
“I’m sure, Dan. Have a good night” you said before he stood up, said goodbye and left. You waited a few seconds, finished the rest of your drink and you stood, picking up your purse before you turned and nearly bumped into him.
The scent of his cologne mixed with alcohol filled your nose before you looked up at him. There was an unreadable look on his face, and he clenched his jaw once – twice – before he spoke.
“Fun date?” he asked in a low voice; one you’ve never heard before. You looked over his shoulder to see Beard already left.
“Pretty fun” you replied with a smile and your grip strengthened on your purse. “Did you have a fun evening?” you asked with a devious smile as you remembered the look on his face from before. Your gaze moved to his lips as the corner of his mouth twitched under the moustache. You felt so confident. He clicked his tongue before he spoke.
“Darlin’” he paused and slowly moved his hand to touch your arm, slow enough to leave you space to pull away if you wanted to. But you didn’t want to. His touch was cold against your burning skin, and he grazed his thumb back and forth on your forearm. “Why do you want to break my ol’ heart?” You swallowed hard as the question caught you off guard.
“Do I have such power, coach?” you asked coyly, and he swallowed hard when you called him “coach”. Heat rose in your belly as inappropriate thoughts filled your head with other situations where you could use this information.
His grip tightened on your arm, but only a little, making sure not to hurt you as he stepped closer, which you didn’t think was possible. You felt his breath on your face as you looked into his eyes – his pupils were blown wide as he looked down at you with half hooded eyes. Your heartbeat kicked into overdrive as your gaze darted between his eyes and lips – his sweet, plush lips you wanted to kiss so badly. Bite them lightly.
He didn’t say a word, but he was moving his hand upwards your arm – slowly and softly above your shoulder and he rested his big palm against your neck, his fingertips grazed your scalp.
It wasn’t like him not to speak, but he just couldn’t find the words. You closed your eyes and let out a shaky breath in anticipation, which he took as a clue and closed the gap between you.
His kiss was sweet and gentle, his soft lips grazed yours in slow movements, exploring them like they were the most precious thing in the universe. His free arm moved to the small of your back as he pulled you closer and you felt the heat pool in your abdomen before you bit down onto his lower lip. He let out a low groan and deepened the kiss, his tongue softly grazed your lips, asking for permission which you were more than happy to grant.
Your skin was on fire, and you wrapped your arms around his neck as the kiss turned into something else – passionate, hungry, and needy. His tongue danced in a perfect rhythm with yours, swiping against your lower lip before biting down lightly.
You broke the kiss to get some air, and he rested his forehead on yours as his gorgeous brown eyes bore into your very soul, before you finally spoke.
“I live five minutes from here.”
You kicked off your shoes as you knocked the apartment door closed, your mouth never leaving his. He grabbed your hip with one hand and pushed you flush against the door, leaning on his other hand next to your head as he kissed you with the passion of a starved man.
You gasped under his touch and felt need course through your veins, arousal soaking your underwear with every sloppy kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, your nails slightly digging into his scalp which earned you a moan from him. It all felt so surreal, and yet the only thing you could focus on was him, his skin under your fingertips, his scent in your nose, his moans in your ear, his taste in your mouth. His hand slowly moved from your hip and grabbed your ass, nudging you to lift your leg, which you happily did and wrapped around his waist. As you pulled him closer with your leg you felt his hard length pressing against you and you gasped.
“Ted,” you whined, throwing your head back against the door.
“Yes, sweetheart?” He murmured into your neck between soft kisses, his breath fanning your skin as his lips traced the curve of your jaw. You let out a shaky breath.
“I need you,” you breathed, and his head moved up so he could look into your eyes. His gaze searched your features for a second before he kissed you again – he devoured you and you didn’t protest.
“You’ll be the end of me,” he groaned as he moved his other hand on your thigh as well and lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist.
“Bedroom’s on the right,” you whispered between kisses as he navigated through your small apartment. He kicked the door closed before he put you onto the bed and climbed on top of you.
You put your hands under his sweatshirt and rested your palms on the hot skin of his stomach for a second before you pulled the piece of clothing off. He was breathtaking, and every passing second you needed him more. It wasn’t that you wanted him anymore. You needed him, and you needed him bad.
Your eyes wandered to his lap, and you saw his erection strain against the fabric of his slacks, and your mouth watered. You couldn’t help it anymore, you reached down and started to palm him through his trousers, making him moan into your skin.
“Fuck, darlin’,” he breathed and started to roll his hips against your palm. You weren’t sure how long you could go on without feeling him.
You unbuttoned his trousers with shaky hands and helped him get rid of them together with his underwear before taking your own clothes off, leaving you bare in front of him. Ted clicked his tongue in amusement before he lowered his head and placed a soft kiss just above your nipple, and you felt another wave of arousal wash over your body.
You slid your hand down his hard member, and he hissed before you wrapped your hand around him and started moving slowly, running your thumb across his sensitive head. He buried his head into your shoulder and groaned loudly as he started to roll his hips against your hand. He was holding his weight with one hand, and he slowly moved the other to cup your breast before he circled his thumb around your nipple.
“Ted, God,” you moaned and he raised his head and bit your lip before he kissed you. His hand slowly moved away from your breast and trailed down your body, leaving goosebumps in its wake before it settled down between your legs. He slid one long finger through your soaked lips, and he groaned.
“Fuck, baby girl. All this for me? Such a good girl,” he said before he pushed his finger into you without any resistance. You whined and bucked your hips against his finger, wanting more. He ran his thumb against your sensitive bud once, then twice, testing your reaction.
His lips moved from your lips to your jawline, to your collarbone, leaving sloppy marks behind them, before he reached your nipple and flattened his tongue against it.
“Ted!” You whined and arched your back off the bed, trying to get even closer to him, but it wasn’t enough. You wanted him inside you. “Ted, please, God.” He swirled his wet tongue against your hardened nipple before he raised his head and looked at you through his lashes.
“What do you want, darlin’? Use that pretty mouth of yours.” Your stomach twisted and you felt yourself clench around his fingers as he was moving them inside you in a steady pace.
“Mmh, you like that, hm?” he asked and placed a soft kiss on your breast again. “You like when I say you’re pretty?” You could only moan as a response and buck your hips against his palm. “How much of a good girl you are? For me?”
“Ted, I’m-,“ you stuttered and your grip on his arm tightened as a familiar knot started to build in your stomach. His fingers moved masterfully inside you, and he curled them ever so slightly just to reach that perfect spot that made you see stars as his thumb drew tight circles around your clit. Your nerves lit up one by one in your body.
“My good girl. Is that what you are?” A moan got caught in your throat as your mouth fell agape, rolling your hips harder against his hand, your body wound up like a bow, ready to release at any second. You couldn’t muster up a proper response, only Ted’s name was falling from your lips repeatedly like a prayer. Ted. Ted. Ted.
“That’s what you are, alright. My best girl. Come for me, darlin’” he whispered into your ears before he planted a sloppy kiss onto your lips and all the sensation was just too much, the bow snapped, and the floodgates opened as you cried out Ted’s name while your orgasm washed over you in crashing waves.
His fingers fucked you through your orgasm, stalling slowly as you came down from your high. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down into a kiss, biting his bottom lip lightly.
“I need you,” you whispered against his lips, and he groaned as a response, a wide cocky smile spreading on his face.
“Insatiable girl,” he replied, gently caressing your clit to tease you. “Use your words, what does my babygirl need?”
“Fuck, Ted-,” you moaned, squeezing your eyes shut. “I need you inside me, please.”
He let out a load moan and repositioned himself to fully settle between your thighs, aligning his length with your entrance and slowly pushing in inch by inch. Your eyes watered from the sensation, the stretch was heavenly and you could savour every inch of him as he slowly bottomed out.
“Shit, darlin’,” he said in a choked voice. “You feel perfect.”
You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him, wiggling your hips to urge him to finally move inside you, and when he did you swore you could see stars. He pulled himself back a bit then pushed in all the way again, setting a steady rhythm. You moved one of your legs to wrap around his waist, anchoring him closer to you, urging him to move deeper and deeper.
Your high-pitched moans and his noises filled the air of your bedroom, and with each roll of his hips he hit that perfect spot inside you that made you feel like you were in heaven.
“Harder, please,” you managed to get out between his relentless thrusts, and when his eyes met yours, you saw fire burning behind them. He grabbed your leg and pushed it up against your chest, thrusting in you deeper, harder.
“Yeah? Dirty girl,” he panted, picking up his pace while he sucked a mark onto your neck. “Parading around in the bar, grinding on strangers like a little whore,” he whispered against your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin as he fucked you senseless. “Just to get my attention-, to make me jealous.”
“Yes, yes- Ted, my God-,” you moaned, unable to form coherent sentences as his cock hit your sweet spot with every thrust, splitting you in half. You were entangled in each other, your one hand tangling in his hair, the other scratching down his back.
“Do you sit at your desk every day, dreaming of me fucking you on it?” Sweat was beading on Ted’s forehead, his usually neat hair now a mess as he looked down at you with half-lidded eyes. You felt tension build in your body, the molten pit in your stomach growing with every thrust. Your mind was empty, pleasure took over every inch of your body.
“Yes, coach,” you whined and Ted could swear he almost fainted when he heard you say that. He rewarded you with a harsh snap of his hips and another kiss.
“Fuck, darlin’- say that again,” he moaned.
“Coach Lasso, please-,” you said, already breathless, a whimpering mess under him. He groaned and you felt him twitch inside you, his movements becoming sloppy. He moved his hand to draw tight circles on your clit while fucking you into the mattress, and you arched your back away from the bed, squeezing your eyes shut as you tipped over the edge, your muscles tightening up then loosening all at once as you came with Ted’s name falling from your lips.
He wanted to live in that moment forever, seeing you as you came, feeling your body react to him so strongly. The snap of his hips started to stutter and suddenly he pulled out of you – the empty feeling jarring all of a sudden -, and came on your stomach. As you both came down from your highs his eyes wandered up and down your body before he leaned down to kiss you.
“I’m sorry for the mess,” he said, suddenly a bit shy as a faint pink colour danced on his cheeks.
“No need,” you replied and chuckled.
“Bathroom?”
“On the right.”
“I’ll be right back, don’t move,” he said and quickly hurried to the bathroom and returned with a damp towel to help you clean up, before settling down next to you and pulling a blanket over the both of you.
“So, this will make work weird, huh?” You asked jokingly, looking up at him. His features were so soft as he looked down at you, like you were the most precious thing he’s ever seen.
“Or gives us another reason to look forward to it?” He replied and leaned down to kiss you.
Yeah, that sounded good enough to you.
“𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑳𝑶𝑻.”
SYNOPSIS: sex in the parking lot.
CHARACTER: male reader x ted lasso
NOTE: you guys have no idea how quick i wrote this shit. my dick throbbing just from the idea. i love ted.
kinktober masterlist .
WC: 1,6k
WARNING: car sex,, light overstimulation,, very talkative ted,, creampie,, unprotected sex,, handjob (char receiving),, public sex,, light exhibitionism,,
the car ac clicked faintly, warm air pushing against the windows as the glass fogged over inch by inch. the world outside blurred into vague shapes, nothing but streetlights glowing faint through the haze.
ted shifted in the back seat, his legs brushing yours, his breath coming out quicker than usual. he tried to laugh, but it broke halfway, sounding more like a groan.
“i gotta be honest with ya,” he said, voice hushed but still carrying that trademark lilt, “when i pictured endin’ the night with you, i thought maybe a pint, maybe a cheeky kebab, y’know? not—uh—this.” his words cut off with a shaky gasp when your mouth dragged down his neck.
“you complaining?” you murmured, your hand sliding up under his jumper, fingertips pressing into the warm skin of his stomach.
“oh no, no, sir,” he rushed out, his hand grabbing yours like he needed to keep you there. “complainin’s the last thing on my mind. i’m just—ah, jeez—just tryin’ to wrap my head around how we went from talkin’ about practice drills to me sittin’ here prayin’ nobody walks past this car right now.”
you laughed softly against his throat, lips brushing sensitive skin until he shivered. “focus on me. not the car.”
“focus on you,” he repeated, nodding quickly, though his voice cracked when your thumb slid lower. “easy enough. hell, i been tryin’ not to focus on you for weeks, so i reckon my brain’s real happy to have permission now.”
you caught his mouth with yours before he could keep rambling, and he melted instantly, kissing you back with a hunger that stole his breath. he tasted of mint, his mustache tickling at the edges, his lips warm and clumsy but desperate.
his hand slid up to your chest, fingers curling into your shirt, tugging you closer until his back pressed hard against the door. the car gave a faint groan under the movement, the steering wheel brushing your arm as you leaned further over him.
“lord,” he muttered between kisses, breathless, “i should be tellin’ you we ain’t supposed to be doin’ this, but honest to god, my body’s signin’ a petition that says otherwise.”
your hand pushed lower, and his words cut off in a rough exhale, his head tipping back against the headrest.
“holy—okay, yep, that’s—oh boy.” he bit his lip hard, his breath coming out ragged. “you’re—you’re gonna have me hollerin’ loud enough for rebecca to hear from her office, i swear.”
you smirked against his jaw. “then keep it down.”
he laughed, broken and low, his hands clinging to you. “easier said than done when you’re doin’ that—oh god, okay, yep, nope, i can’t—” his voice cracked into a stifled moan, muffled against your shoulder when he buried his face there.
the car felt too small, too hot, every inch of him pressed tight against you. the windows were fully fogged now, droplets of condensation running down the glass, sealing you in.
“you’re—” his voice faltered, and he tried again, panting. “you’re real bad for my self-control, y’know that? i’ve given pep talks to whole teams about stayin’ disciplined, and here i am losin’ every ounce of willpower ‘cause you—oh hell—‘cause you touch me like that.”
your mouth found his again, swallowing the noises he made, his body shuddering beneath your hands. his legs shifted, bracketing you awkwardly in the cramped space, pulling you closer until you could feel every sharp edge of his body pressed against you.
you pressed of your body to his, your hand working his cock way too good. he groaned quietly, his eyes flitting between you two to look at the action. the heat of your mouth, the rhythm of your hand had him gasping, his voice a low string of curses and half-formed words, rambling through them even as his body tensed and bucked under yours.
“oh my god, oh—jesus, i—yeah, yeah—” his voice cracked, his accent slipping heavier, his sentences falling apart until all that was left were small, helpless sounds. the fogged-up car rocked faintly with the motion, every noise inside amplified in the tight space—the squeak of leather seats, the sharp hitch of his breath, the messy, desperate sounds spilling from his throat no matter how hard he tried to bite them back.
when he finally came, he clutched at you like he might fall apart otherwise, his breath ragged, body trembling, forehead pressed against your collarbone.
for a long moment, the only sound was the hum of the ac and his uneven breathing. the air was thick, heavy, the car warm and damp with heat.
ted let out a shaky laugh, muffled against your shirt. “well,” he rasped, still catching his breath, “that’s one heck of a halftime show. don’t suppose you’re takin’ requests for an encore, are ya?”
he tipped his head back then, hair mussed, cheeks flushed, lips red from kissing. he looked at you with a grin that was both dazed and tender, his chest still rising and falling too fast.
“y’know,” he added, his voice softening, “i think i might be gettin’ spoiled here. and i don’t even care.”
——————————
the leather was creaking under both your weight. ted straddled your lap, knees pressed awkwardly against the backrest, his hands gripping your shoulders like he wasn’t sure if he was steadying himself or just holding on for dear life.
his mustache tickled against your cheek as he tried to kiss you and gasp out words at the same time, his voice spilling in that familiar drawl, quicker and messier now.
“lord have mercy—okay, okay—i swear i don’t usually climb into anybody’s lap like this, not unless we’re on one of those mechanical bulls down in texas—and even then i wasn’t half as nervous as i am right now—oh jesus—” his words cut off in a strangled gasp when your hands gripped his hips, guiding him to take your cock deeper.
you rocked him down into you, slow at first, then harder, and his rambling shattered into a moan so loud he clapped his own hand over his mouth, eyes wide and desperate.
“oh my god,” he whined against his palm, “okay, okay, nope, can’t—don’t know if i can—mfff—”
you pulled his hand away, made him look at you, made him feel everything.
“look at me,” you murmured, and he did, eyes glassy, lips parted, trembling in your hold as you guided him by his hips, making him bounce you.
“i’m—oh god, i’m lookin’, i’m lookin’, don’t worry,” he babbled, voice breaking, “just, uh—yep, yep, definitely seein’ stars here, partner, and i ain’t talkin’ about the kind you pin on a sheriff’s chest—jesus—feels so-mhhhgggh, feels too good, too much—”
his hands slid uselessly against your chest, then your shoulders, clutching and releasing like he couldn’t decide what to do. you moved him with steady strength, your control absolute, and he broke apart under it.
the car rocked gently with the rhythm, windows dripping with condensation now, the small space filled with the sounds he couldn’t keep in—ragged gasps, strangled curses, helpless little moans spilling past every half-finished joke.
“don’t stop, don’t—jesus lord, i mean it, don’t—don’t stop—if you stop i’ll—i’ll just, i dunno, combust or somethin’—turn right into a puff of confetti like one of them birthday cannons—jesus, jesus, jesus—”
you shifted the angle, pressed him down onto you harder, and the noise he made was so raw it made your own restraint snap. his words blurred, tumbling over each other until he was babbling nonsense, too far gone to make sense of anything except the way you kept driving him over and over, holding him exactly where you wanted him.
his forehead dropped to your shoulder, his voice cracking into laughter and sobs all at once, wrecked and overwhelmed. “ohh my god—ah—can’t—can’t take it, but i don’t—don’t want it to stop, please, please, don’t—”
and you didn’t. you kept him moving until he broke apart completely, clinging to you, babbling incoherent words into your neck as the car groaned and the windows blurred everything else away. when he came, he came with utterly no warning, his breath catching on a strangled gasp, uselessly shaking his head against you. the moment you realized what had happened, your cock throbbed inside ted. this guy..
instead of guiding his hips, making him move, you dragged him down until your were balls deep, his ass flush against your pelvis. you rolled your hips in a certain way that made ted’s body twitch in your hold, his hole tightening around you.
it was then that you took over and fucked him nice and deep, muttering praises into ted’s ear to keep him distracted from the overstimulation that came with you continuing after he came. of course, he wouldn’t have complained, never—too much of a people pleaser to do that. but, his hands clenched at anything, any part of your body that he could reach.
because ted was impervious as hell, because he was extremely hot like this, rambling incoherent stuff, his voice slurred, accent more prominent, his words drawn out, breaking mid-way, because he clutched at you like you were the only one anchoring him, it didn’t take a while for you to spill your cum inside him. ted moaned softly, his voice just slightly hoarse as he felt your cock throb and twitch.
when it finally eased, his body went limp against yours, chest heaving, his breath hot and wet against your collar. after a long silence, he let out a shaky laugh. “...well. if i weren’t a god-fearin’ man before, i’d sure as hell be prayin’ now.”
he tipped his head up just enough to grin at you, hair stuck damp to his forehead, lips swollen, eyes still glassy. “you—you got me ridin’ you like a rodeo clown out here. reckon i’m never gonna sit in this seat again without blushin’.”