#rpamr

[spookyghostlygay]

Since @sanseru hobbyswap au has me so inspired I wrote a little drabble for it. It’s also on Ao3 here!

Hope you enjoy :)

Professor Membrane briefly wonders how werewolves are able to grow in size and strength in response to the moon. The two seem completely unrelated, but the werewolf chasing him and his alien coworkers is clear evidence to the contrary. Fascinating.

Red is ahead of him dragging him by hand. “Membrane! Stop looking back and look for a place to hide. And will you stop screaming!” That last sentence is directed at Purple who is behind Membrane screaming his head off.

Membrane can feel where Purple is gripping his back through his coat. Purple pushes him, urging him to run faster. The pointed fingers send shivers down his spine. Membrane looks around for a distraction. “The front door! There.” He points ahead to the entryway, but the werewolf jumps over them sliding through the front door.

“Nope! Not going that way.” Purple drags them up the stairs before the wolf can turn around. Without much thought, Purple drags them into the first room. It’s a bedroom. Before Membrane can examine the room more, Red pulls them into a smaller space. A closet, Membrane realizes as he pushes a dusty coat out of his face and onto the floor.

“So this is what you do on the weekend?” Red asks. “Get chased by whatever monster you run into.” He’s close. Very close. Membrane realizes as his breath hitches. He’s only made closer by the fact that Red is grabbing his shirt from the front, and Purple is pushing against him from the back. He’s effectively trapped between the two.

“Well, it isn’t usually this, um, this exciting,” Membrane manages as he tries not to stare. Red’s pak is glowing in the dark, giving him an otherworld look in the near darkness. Membrane can see Red smile. He can feel Red’s arm slide around his neck while Purple rests his head on the other side. Membrane shivers despite the body heat he can feel from the two aliens. After a moment, he realizes Purple is shaking as well. “Are you alright, Purple?”

Purple snakes his arms around Membrane’s middle. “So so many teeth,” He simply says as he buries his head deeper into the crook of Membrane’s neck. Membrane chuckles, despite himself having his own heart hammering against his chest, and puts a hand on Purple’s head, ruffling the wig he wears. In a comforting manner, he hopes.

Red is deciding jealous of the extra attention Purple is getting and licks the side of Membrane’s face. Membrane lets out a yip at the feeling. “Don’t ignore me,” Red pouts as he leans down to press his cheek to Membrane’s.

Membrane’s stomach churns as Red pulls him to lean against the wall. His hand's not even an inch away from Red’s hip. Purple’s arm tightens around him. Being in the middle of an alien sandwich is definitely not what he thought he’d be doing this weekend.

A howl interrupts the heavy atmosphere. “The-- the werewolf’s still out there,” Membrane says lamely.

Purple groans at the thought. “Don’t remind me.”

Membrane can feel Red nod. “We’ll have to stay here until it’s gone.”

“Or until morning,” Purple adds. The two aliens agree with each other and tighten their grip on the human.

Membrane flushes. It’s going to be a long night.

[spookyghostlygay]

Another hobbyswap oneshot! Also on Ao3!

@sanseru

Professor Membrane awoke to a knocking at his door. Blinking awake, Membrane fumbles around for his goggles. After finding them and nearly knocking them to the ground, he holds them to his face. Purple looks back at him from his doorway. The alien comfortably leans against the doorway with a mischievous smile.

"Food's ready. You should get up." Purple walks to the bed and sits as Membrane puts his goggles on properly. 

"Why--," Membrane asks as he stifles a yawn. "--are you in my house?" 

"Cause I wanna." Purple sticks his tongue out in a smile. His distinctly alien tongue, Membrane notes. 

Membrane pushes his cowlick out of his face. "Are you here to observe the average morning of a human household to incorporate into your next scheme? Is it different compared to alien families?" Membrane sits up properly as he continues to ask his barrage of questions. "Your species doesn't sleep if I remember correctly. Does your species even have the concept of mornings?"

Purple folds in arm in a pout. "Maybe I am, but I am definitely a normal human worm maybe."

"You won't answer my questions?" Membrane slumps.

"You always have so many questions."

"You won't?"

"I didn't say that." Purple leans himself across Membrane's lap. "What's in it for me?"

"I--uh," Membrane stumbles, his brain still short-circuited from the sudden display of intimacy. "I could answer any questions you have?" Membrane says lamely.

Purple looks up at him. "My questions?"

Membrane chastises himself internally. Out of all the things, he had to offer something as lame as that.

"How did you lose your arms?"

"I--What?" Membrane looks down at the alien. "My arms?"

"Yeah." Purple grabs Membrane's robotic hand and laces their fingers. Membrane can help but wish he had more feeling in his prosthetic. "How'd you lose them?"

"I came across a nest of baby kraken when I was 13." Purple traces his free hand over Membrane's arm as he speaks. "Apparently, the children can be just as deadly as the adults."

Purple nods thoughtfully. "Red had a similar accident during invader training. He would have lost his leg to that wumpus if I hadn't pulled him out."

"A wumpus?" Membrane sits up straighter in excitement. "What a wumpus?"

"It's this little furry thing with big teeth and little legs. But what about a kraken? What's a kraken?"

"Krakens are a type of giant squid. Through mysterious means, they are able to grow larger than human ships."

"Wow. You were really stupid as a kid," Purple says smiling.

Membrane just hums in response, and decides not to bring up the fact that he still does that type of stuff. No need to give the alien a reason to look down on him.

"Irkens don't have families." Purple says suddenly. "We are born ready to serve the Irken Empire in whatever role the Control Brains have chosen for us." 

Membrane gawks at the sudden information coming from Purple. "What--"

"You're the one that asked," Purple interrupts. "About alien mornings and breakfast. So--" Purple continues as he gets up and sits in my lap. "Being an awesome, super elite invader my whole life, I wouldn't know about lesser Irkens, but invaders don't have a set meal schedule. We are trained to effortlessly adapt to the planet we are assigned."

Membrane doesn't speak and instead nods mutely. He tries to focus on Purple's words but finds himself distracted looking up at the alien’s face. No nose. No ears. Green skin. Purple leans against him. Membrane enjoys the feeling. Purple’s skin is smooth, Membrane notes.

“Hey! Are you even listening?” Purple shouts. “And why is your face so red? I didn’t know humans could change color.” Purple removes the hand that was holding Membrane’s hand and cups Membrane’s face. 

Membrane is saying something. He’s sure of it. Something about human biology. Or maybe he’s giving an excuse. Something to hide his embarrassment. Anything to distract him from the body sitting on him and the claws cupping his face. The feeling of Purple leaning into him to study his face. Purple’s fingers trailing up and down his face. The shifting of hips as Purple leans into his space. 

Purple smiles as Membrane rambles on. Their breath mingles as Purple closes the space between them. 

A kiss. Barely a peck on the lips. But it's enough to stop whatever tangent Membrane was going on about. 

"Don't tell Red,--" Purple says without pulling away. Their mouths still brushing up against each other. "--I don't want him knowing I got ahead of him for once." Membrane sits there, frozen and flushed, as Purple gets up and walks out. "And come downstairs already! The waffles are getting cold."