In all my years playing DnD, with all the many characters I’ve played, I’ve never attempted roleplaying romance in game....until now. And let me tell you, it was a disaster.
My husband is my DM, so you’d think romancing an NPC wouldn’t be that weird, right? Wrong.
Killian is my level 12 fighter/wizard with a modest background. A big lovable nerd with a hunger and thirst for knowledge, and also for comfort food/drink. An all-around good guy, but so bad in social situations.
Miri is a sweet NPC cook’s apprentice, hand-picked by a matchmaking Beholder as Killian’s ideal mate, both in body and soul. (But Killian flubbed that encounter and wound up marrying the slick, noble-born elven rogue in his party, instead of his intended, though the marriage isn’t valid in this realm.) Aside from that, Killian knows very little about Miri.
Killian began showing up for lunch daily at the cat cafe where Miri works so that he could see and talk to her. The upon finding out that he and his party would be leaving on yet another dangerous quest, as adventurers do, he went once again to tell her, and to confess his feelings. The whole party tagged along, including the rogue he had married in the Beholder’s realm.
He confessed his feelings. Miri said she liked him too, and that she would be off work before dinnertime, if we’d still be around. He should’ve just left it at that and said goodbye. But he ordered some soup. Soup that Miri made. And he gave her a gift.
I forgot to actually have Killian buy a gift, so I had him give her the book he had just finished reading... The Lusty Argonian Maid. A smut novel rated 5 stars by Killian, for the plot of course.
Miri accepted the gift at Killian’s high praise for the book, but tentatively.
The soup arrived and Killian tried it, but on a roll from 1-20, he rated it only a 3. He decided to be polite and tell her her soup was delicious.... and rolled a Deception check of 3...minus 2. Ugh. Needless to say, she saw right through that.
Then Killian showed off by cleaning the soup bowls using the Prestidigitation cantrip, and fled.
...The rest of the afternoon was stressful, as the party was essentially told they were being sent to do the impossible, potentially facing many powerful wizards in an even more powerful wizard’s lair. We were basically deemed dependable, but expendable enough for the job. In the moment, I, as a player, totally forgot about some of the earlier happenings with Miri, and Killian went to spend the evening getting shit-faced at the bar, and write a letter home in case it was his last. And when the DM confirmed that I did, indeed, intended to drink enough to be quite drunk, this happened.
Killian feels a hand on his shoulder as he’s sitting at the bar. He turns, and it’s Miri.
Killian: “Shit!” *stumbled to his feet to face her* “Miri! What are you doing here?”
Miri: “Well I told you when I’d be off work, and you told me where you were staying so....If it’s a bad time, I can just go.”
Killain: “I... uh.... thought I offended you... Well you’re here now, you can stay if you want to.”
Miri: “No... Not like this. I’ll just go.”
Killian: *falls in to hug her before she can go.*
Miri patted his back awkwardly, and Killian rolled a 2 for how he’d proceed, so he started to sob drunkenly on her shoulder.
Miri: “...You can talk to me about whatever’s going on after you’ve sobered up...” *breaks away from the hug and leaves.*
Killian hesitates, then staggers to follow her, but he couldn’t see which way she went. Probably for the best.
The next morning, the innkeeper hands Killian a package. From Miri. It’s a Tankard of Sobriety...