Ruin The Friendship VII
Title: Ruin The Friendship (mini-series) part 7
Word-Count: 6.6k
Pairing: Jay Park/ Reader (kinda)
Summary: Best friends to lovers. Inspired by Ruin The Friendship - Demi Lovato.
Genre: Smutty Fluff
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
“Someone pushed the story without me, Y/n. I can promise you that whoever had access to my files will be found and repercussions will be done,”
Gina Waters has been trying to contact me for the last two days. I’d blocked her number, email address and purposely found her social media accounts just so I could block her on them as well. I was feeling quite bitter a day and a half ago. It seems like Gina has made it her mission to speak with me considering this is the fourth unknown number she’s tried to call me with. The only reason I answered was so that I can tell her that I’m definitely pressing harassment charges if she continues to contact me.
I sigh pressing the phone to my ear. I stand up, trying to ease out of Jay’s massive bed as quietly as I can. I pull a pair of his basketball shorts and pull them on before slipping out of the room.
Because of Gina Waters, my apartment has been deemed as no longer safe by my very protective boyfriend. The few young girls who were outside sometimes doubled overnight, and they aren’t as nice as before. I don’t understand Korean completely but I know when I’m being insulted. Jay hasn’t let me walk to work in the last two days and I’m exiled to his apartment once again much to his pleasure.
“I don’t believe you,” I say, pulling my wild hair into a ponytail. I head to the bathroom to see just how scary I look. There’s dried drool on the corner of my mouth, and I’m starting to break out probably from stress. One of the best things about being with Jay is that he already knows I’m in a constant state of mess.
“Why would I be calling you if I put the article out, Y/n?”
I think for a long minute. When I can’t come up with anything, I roll my eyes at myself.
“So, what do you want then?”
“I want permission to run the story I actually wrote. I can send you a copy, you edit out whatever you don’t want in,”
“Why? I’m hardly interesting enough to be worrying about. Just call it a loss and we both pretend that someone at your office didn’t try to ruin my career and reputation,”
“Y/n,” Gina sighs like I’m the one being exasperating. “I believe you will single-handedly leave a mark on the fashion industry in South Korea. Your impact has been noticed and I want your story to be told the way I intended it to be told. I want to omit any mention of Jay Park. And I want you to get the recognition you deserve,”
“I’m really not that important over here,” I laugh. I put the phone on speaker so I can brush my teeth.
“Y/n,” she says my name like she’s talking to a child who refuses to listen to reason. “Styles found only in Southern California are popping up on Korean boy group members. Jay Park just made a top twenty list of the most fashionable men in the world. It’s your impact. It’s your influence,”
I groan around the foam in my mouth. “Fine! Fine, I don’t care. Do whatever you want. No mention of Jay and I want a name of who sent the story in,”
“Perfect! I’ll send you a link to what I have you tell me what to take out,”
“Don’t worry about it. Just try not to do any more damage, please,”
I don’t even know what I’m doing it, but for some reason, I believe her. I believe her and I trust her more than I probably should. I don’t know what it is about Gina Waters that has me once again putting everything in her hands.
“I’m sending it in for publishing first thing in the morning, Y/n. Thank you by the way,”
“For what?”
“You’re the biggest new thing coming to fashion, Y/n. I get to say that I had a hand in getting you that Vogue editorial,”
What’s up with everyone and Vogue?
“I’ll be in touch,” she says.
“I don’t doubt it,” I murmur.
“Oh and Y/n, I didn’t send the shitty story in, but someone did. I’m going to find out, but don’t forget someone has something against you. Be careful,”
I’m not sure what to say. “Okay, thanks, Gina,”
We both hang up. I lean against the sink and sigh. Thinking about her words, I can’t put a finger on anyone who would gain anything from running a story on Jay. Granted the article didn’t explicitly make it seem like I was using him for his name, it’s just what people have started to conclude. I don’t get it.
There’s a knock on the bathroom door and I open it so Jay can come in. He hesitates in the doorway. “I need to pee,”
“Well pee, then,” I laugh frowning at him around my toothbrush.
“Aren’t you going to get out?”
“No, I’m brushing my teeth,”
“Can you please get out so I can pee,”
I pull my toothbrush out of my mouth so I can look at him. He has stubble around his mouth and chin, his dark hair sticks up in every direction, and he’s still so handsome it’s unfair. He scratches tiredly at his bare stomach as he waits.
“I’ve seen your dick before. I’ve actually touched it too if you remember. I’m not phased by you peeing for less than thirty seconds, but if you insist on being this high maintenance in the morning I will leave. But I have you know you could’ve been done using the bathroom right now if you had just come in and peed three minutes ago,”
“I’m trying to be considerate,” he frowns while I move out of the bathroom.
“You do realize that I’m used to you being the opposite of considerate right?”
I hear the toilet flush before the water runs. After a few seconds, I hear the unmistakable sound of a toothbrush moving against teeth. I push into the bathroom.
“You asshole!”
He smiles around his toothbrush, moving over so I can finish brushing my own teeth.
“You’ve been in here for twenty minutes brushing your teeth, Y/n,” he laughs.
“I was on the phone,”
“I figured from all the sighing I heard,” he laughs. He pulls the foamy brush out of his mouth. “Are you ok?”
“Yeah, it was the writer I did the interview with. Someone pushed the article through without her consent,”
“And you believe her?”
I reach up to smooth my thumb over his raised slitted eyebrow. “Are you going to redo this? Yes, I believe her. If she’d been the one to publish the story she wouldn’t be calling me,”
“Yeah, I’ll do it before the wedding on Friday. I guess you’re right. What did she want then?”
He waits as I rinse with mouthwash and put my toothbrush back in the cup. I sit on the sink in front of his toiletries.
“She asked permission to publish the story she actually wrote. I told her I didn’t care as long as she didn’t mention you,”
Jay rinses and reaches behind me to grab his razor and shaving cream. I watch as he lathers the cream on his face.
“You think that’s a good idea?”
“I don’t know. For some reason, she believes I’m going to be bigger than whatever I’m doing now. I rather not miss my opportunity. And whoever pushed the story obviously wanted me to. I feel like I’m letting them win or something,”
“Ok, baby,”
I narrow my eyes at him while he glides the razor over his skin. He seems so focused that I’d miss the pensive look in his eyes if I didn’t know him so well.
“Is that ‘okay, baby. I don’t agree with you, but you look scary in the morning so I’ll shut up’?”
“I’ve seen you look worse-,”
“Oh fuck you,”
He leans over to press his lips against mine which gives me a shaving cream mustache. I look in the mirror. We look fucking adorable if I’m honest. I grab my phone and snap a picture of us smiling in the mirror.
“You know I’m kidding. You’re beautiful all the time. That’s like the boyfriend thing to say, right?”
I slap his arm and hop off the sink to grab a towel and wipe off the shaving cream.
“And, you’re grown, Y/n. You don’t need me to sign off on your decisions. If you trust her, I trust her. Whatever you decide is the right decision for me too,”
I wrap my arms around his waist, running my hands over his chest. I press my cheek against his broad back.
“Who are you and where is my asshole friend Jay Park?”
“He’s crazy in love and being supportive of his pretty girlfriend,”
I press my lips against the center of his back. “You’re working today,”
“Yeah, I’m going to try really hard to keep everything short. I know you hate being here by yourself,”
I sigh, letting go of his waist. “It’s ok. I’ll be fine. I’m going to the office. Bora got back in yesterday. We might go get lunch after,”
“Ok, baby,” he pats his face dry. “But take the car with you. I don’t want you walking anywhere. Not even down the street,”
“I’m not in danger, Jay,”
“I don’t care. I’m not risking it. There are too many people with access to you right now,”
“Ok,” I concede. “I’m going to shower, so get out,”
“What if I wanted to shower,”
I peel my clothes off and step into Jay’s large shower. It was definitely made with luxury in mind. With different jet speeds, this is the real reason I decided to move in. I could happily spend hours in here.
“I don’t think anyone is using the bathroom in the guest room,” I smirk.
“You should just move in now,” Jay says suddenly. I look at him through the glass. His head tilts as he watches the water flow down my body. His tongue comes over his bottom lip.
“What?” I tap the glass to bring his eyes back up. “What did you say?”
“There’s hardly any security at your place, Y/n. I’m going to be gone weeks at a time. I would feel more comfortable if I knew you were safe here,”
“I don’t want to,” I pout. I’m going to miss my little homey place. Its the only other place I’d lived at besides home. I already feel like I’m abandoning it whenever I spend a couple of days at Jay’s.
“You don’t want to,” Jay crosses his arms over his chest.
“I haven’t had a proper goodbye yet, Jay. You can’t give us a few months and then change it to a couple of days,”
“Us?” His eyebrow raises.
I turn away from him, grabbing my washcloth.
“Me and my home,” I sigh, a little embarrassed at the attachment I have.
“Ok, fine,” he says. He turns to leave the bathroom but I tap on the glass again.
“What’s that supposed to mean? ‘Ok, fine’” I mimic his voice while pulling a face. “What’s that?”
“It’s ‘Ok, fine,’” he laughs. “I’m not going to force you to do anything, Y/n,”
I turn off the shower and reach for a towel to wrap around my body. I breeze past him back into his room.
“Now, you’re turning up your nose at me,” he says following close behind.
“I didn’t like your ‘ok, fine.’”
“First of all, stop doing that face, and I don’t sound like that. Second, what do you want me to say, Y/n?”
I follow him into his closet and lean against the door frame. I watch him sift through t-shirts he has hanging up.
“I don’t know. Why ask me to move in sooner if you aren’t 100 percent behind the idea,”
“Who says I’m not 100 percent behind it,”
“‘Ok, fine’ says so,”
He turns to look at me. Before I know what’s happening, he has his arms wrapped around my waist and his mouth against mine. His tongue pushes past my lips roughly before meeting with mine. When he pulls back I’m breathless and a little lightheaded.
“You,” He says as he catches his own breath. “Are the most difficult person I’ve ever fucking met in my life. It’s like you live for confrontation and being a pain in my ass,”
I run my tongue over my lips, smiling up at him. “I’ll start packing today,”
“You’re the worst,” he laughs and kisses my forehead. “Give me half an hour and you can drop me off at work, ok?”
I nod, puckering my lips for one more kiss. He touches my lips before going to take a shower. He turns to look at me.
“Hey, wear your own clothes today,”
I push my bottom lip out having just spied a pair of jeans I know will fit me.
“Why, I have nothing to wear,”
“You never give me my shit back,”
“All you ever do is complain these days,” I say, faking disappointment.
“Go to work and annoy your friends or something,” he says disappearing to go get ready for work himself.
We drive together, with Jay promising to get home early as I drop him off. I refuse to get used to driving a Bentley. Whatever sacrifices I have to make so I can still pay rent and get a car is going to have to be made. Jay can keep him monstrosity even if it is pretty. There’s still people milling around outside so I hurry into the studio garage.
When I get in, Bora is already there, sun-kissed and prettier than ever. I’ve missed her so much.
“Look what the cat dragged in from fucking her hot boyfriend,”
I frown at my friend. “You sound bitter,” I laugh.
“I am. Jay stole my friend, and she doesn’t even give me all the juicy details,”
“I know, I know! We haven’t had time to get together,”
Bora narrows her eyes at me. God, she’s so perceptive.
“Something is happening. What did you do?”
I peek over her shoulder pretending to be engrossed with whatever she’s working on.
“Try a higher heel. It’s perfect but I think a tiny bit of a lift is what’s missing,”
“Thank you and I will do that. What did you do,” she says again.
I sigh, leaning my forehead on her shoulder. “I’m moving in,”
“Oh, my god, Y/n! Domestication! When?”
“Sooner rather than later. He doesn’t think I’m safe at my place from the teenage fans that follow me to work,”
“He’s right,”
“So coffee at my place? While I con you guys into helping me pack,” I smile hopefully at her.
“You’re lucky you’re cute. I’ll let Chae know. She’s going to give you a lecture though,”
I sigh taking my own seat at my desk. “I know,”
Chae doesn’t give me a lecture. Instead, she looks at me like she’s totally unsurprised by the turn of events. We get started packing my little apartment into boxes surrounded by coffee and snacks while talking about our relationships. It’s the girl friendships I’d missed out on when I was an awkward kid who couldn’t dance but spent most of her time at b-boy shows.
“I know he wouldn’t, Y/n. But how do you just trust him completely? He’s surrounded by women everywhere. How is there no doubt that he won’t fuck up,” Bora asks while folding some dresses.
“I just know that he’s Jay. I can’t explain it. He’s always just said what he meant. If he wanted out, I know he’d tell me before going behind my back with someone else,”
“See, I don’t see how you guys aren’t married by now. It took me three years of being with Jin to get to that point,”
I shrug. “We’re not in a rush. I’m not going anywhere,”
Chae comes back to my room with a few more boxes. I feel weird about taking up Jay’s place with all of my stuff. His apartment is very much so a reflection of him; straightforward and to the point with hints of his personality mixed in. I can’t come with my cat duvet and quartz collection. Not only are they random, he’d never let me live down bringing my rock collection.
“You guys realize it’s just a ring, right? Everything changes with this little piece of metal,” she wiggles her fingers before going back to unfolding boxes.
“Is that a good or bad thing,” Bora asks.
Chae tilts her head to the side. “It’s neither. It’s just a thing. I can say I never loved my husband more than the week after we were married. And I never hated him more than that week either,”
I think about what she says and how much Jay and I have changed too. I get it, I think. Sometimes it seems like we aren’t even in the same book, let alone on the same page. He throws me every time he opens his mouth.
“It gets better and it gets worse,” I say.
Chae nods. “You and Jay might be the exception. But then again you might not. I think you guys are still discovering each other no matter how much history you have. Ride that out for a little while,” she turns her eyes to Bora.
“And everyone progresses at different paces. You are Jin are like a slow burn instead of this one’s” she jerks her thumb at me. “fucking explosion of everything at once. There’s nothing wrong with that either,”
Chae, the mom friend. We continue like this, talking and laughing while we pack up boxes and divide them between storage and Jay’s place. At the end of it all, the main thing I’m taking is my clothes and shoes. Everything else isn’t really a necessity. I still have a lot to do but in the next few days, I can be completely packed and in Jay’s place. How fucking weird is that? It seems like only yesterday I was kissing him for the first time, now I’m moving in. Granted it’s not completely by choice, but it still feels like I’ve passed a monumental milestone.
“He’s leaving. Are you guys ok?” Chae asks me.
I think about it for the first time honestly. There’s no denying that he’ll be gone for a long time. He won’t be able to just hop on a plane and come home whenever he wants and I won’t be able to go to him either. I’ve been spoiled for the last month or so. It’s been just kismet that he’s had as much time off as he did while we were still figuring everything out.
“Yeah, we’ll be fine. I just, I want to do something you know. I can’t just let him go without us having a night to ourselves. With his schedule in the next few days, I don’t know if we’ll get a proper send-off,”
“Why not tonight?” Bora holds up a strapping black bodysuit with the tags attached while wiggling her eyebrows.
I shrug. “He’s working,”
“I think he’ll be more upset if he knew you weren’t putting this to use,” She laughs.
“I second that,” Chae says pulling out a pair of scarlet red heels.
“He’s working,” I groan.
They both roll their eyes at me.
“Curl your hair,” Bora says standing to shuffle around my room. “Actually, I’ll do it,” she says finally locating my straightener on my dresser.
Chae smiles at me. “You don’t have a choice anymore,”
I’m anxious to get back to Jay’s. I get ready in the lingerie Bora forced me to bring along and pull out a pair of strapped red heels.
I call Jay to make sure it’s safe to come by wearing literally nothing.
“Is there anyone there with you?” I ask while tying the red string of the heel around my ankle.
“No, I’m here alone. Everybody went home a few hours ago,” he says. He sounds tired as usual. I’m hoping he’s in the mood for what I have planned because this will all be a waste. If I know my boyfriend as well as I think I do though, I’m betting he’s always in the mood.
“Did you eat?”
“No, not yet. I was just about to order something. I’m sorry, baby. I know I said I’d be home earlier,”
I smile at myself. He’s too considerate. “Hey, don’t worry about it, Jay. I do want to see you, though. Do you think you can take a break? We can have dinner,”
“You don’t have to come all the way out here, Y/n,”
“I want to. I miss you a little bit,”
He laughs. “A little bit? Ok, thank you, I appreciate it. Can you drive yourself over?”
“Yes,” I laugh. “Give me maybe twenty minutes and I’ll be over,”
“Ok, baby. I’ll see you in a minute,”
We hang up with me securing my other shoe in place. I stand and head to Jay’s closet. Hanging on the back of his door, the tan trench coat he’d bought me. I look at myself in the mirror. The black ensemble fits too perfectly. My breasts are framed by lace, velvet straps cross around my waist holding up more lace. It’s not his birthday but it sure will feel like it, if I have anything to do with it. It’s only seven-thirty so we have plenty of time before it gets too late and we’re both too tired for anything.
I pull the trench coat on and grab my purse and Jay’s keys on the way out.
I don’t know why I’m nervous. Maybe it’s the probability of someone being there or walking in. Or maybe this whole thing is freaking ridiculous. I shift against the leather seats, my thighs sticking a little bit.
I park in his garage and head upstairs. Hesitantly, I press the key code hoping like hell no one decided on late hours tonight. I need this. A fun, wild night of him. Just because. When I walk in, the main area is empty thank goodness. Still, I pull the jacket down to cover a centimeter more of my thighs.
“Jay?” I call.
“Y/n? That was quick. What happened to picking up food-,”
He stops mid-sentence when he sets eyes on me.
“No, fucking way,” he whispers.
His eyes follow me as I walk further into the massive space. There’s so much room around us, yet I feel like none of it matters when he looks at me like that. All the confidence I had is now depleted, replaced with nerves and overwhelming need to just have his hands on me.
“I forgot the food,” I say quietly. I watch his eyes travel up from my feet and linger around my thighs.
“That’s ok,” he says quietly.
I pull my lip between my teeth, suddenly shy at his reaction. My hand goes to the belt of the coat.
“Wait,” he says. He comes close to me until he’s only a couple of feet away. He leans against the back of the couch.
“Someone could come in,”
“Your office?”
He reaches out for my hand and leads me behind the glass of his office. He grabs a remote control, turning the clear glass opaque. He leans against his desk, waiting for me to move first.
“Is this a late birthday present?”
I smile at him, pulling the belt. The coat falls open just enough to give a peek at just how little I’m wearing beneath it. Jay’s eyes eat up the sliver of skin he sees. He reaches out to set a hand on my hip but I pull out of his reach.
“Don’t touch,” I say. “Not yet,”
He pulls back ready to listen and follow whatever else I say. I kind of like this power. The man who quite literally never stops talking has been struck silent by a few straps of flimsy fabric.
My hands go to the waistband of his pants. My eyes don’t leave his as I push the elastic down away from his hips along with his boxers. I stroke his silky skin. When he leans in, I let him kiss me softly. I’m glad I remembered to just go with lip balm instead of the red lipstick I wanted to use. His teeth pull gently at my bottom lip. His tongue pushes against mine while his arms come up to wrap around me. I’m so lost in how he feels in my hand and against my mouth, that I forget he’s not supposed to touch me.
His hips start to move into my hand, jerking me out of my stupor. I pull out of the kiss and step back. He opens his mouth to protest but stops as I sink down to my knees in front of him.
I don’t wait. I wrap my lips around him until he hits the back of my throat. I circle my tongue as his hands come up to tangle in my hair. I look up him, watching his head drop back and his lips part. If I could take a picture of him like this, I would. I want to savor the look of complete pleasure on his face.
His neck stretches, showing me the black lines of the compass etched into his skin, probably my favorite of his tattoos. I close my eyes and focus on making him feel good.
“Y/n,” he says my name like it’s a cuss word. Like maybe the way he’s thinking about me is sinful. I understand it because I feel the same way.
I’m finding out fantasies aren’t just for the person who has them. There’s a certain pleasure in being the one to carry it out. This, this is my own fantasy; to have him be completely enamored with me that I alone can be responsible for the pinch between his brows and the hardening of his jaw.
Jay grabs my shoulders and pulls me up off my knees. He takes my mouth again, pushing the coat off and onto the floor. When his lips trail down to my neck, I reach up to pull at his hair and draw him closer. He pulls away, his chest moving against mine rapidly. His hands on my hips spin me around slowly as he finally takes in the whole outfit.
“Fuck, you’re so damn hot. Look at you, baby,”
His fingers trace the straps that cross over my body. His hands smooth down until he covers my ass.
“Desk or couch?” I ask raising an impatient eyebrow at him. Honestly, I would even settle on the floor right now. I still feel the weight of him on my tongue and I’m tempted to sink back down and make him come with my mouth.
“Right here,” he says while gripping my hips suddenly. He lifts me up on the edge of the desk. I reach behind me, moving papers out of the way so I can lay. Jay nudges my legs apart so he can stand between my knees.
“I don’t have anything,” he says looking around as if a condom is going to appear among the papers and other shit.
“My purse,” I say tapping at his arm impatiently. He pulls his joggers back in place which does nothing to hide the bulge. He hurries through the foggy door, leaving me staring up at the ceiling above me.
He comes back quickly and gets back into position. He pulls the latex on before bringing his hands down on my hips. He glides in slowly. His fingers dig into my skin like he’s trying to control himself.
“Jay,” I call. I try to wrap my legs around him but he pushes on my thigh to keep them open. He moves too slowly. Tortuous pulls draw out moans from my lips. My fingers ache to hold some part of him, but I can’t reach anything other than his hands on my waist.
“Tell me what you want,”
“Harder, faster, please,” I beg.
“Fuck,” Jay breathes out. “I’m going to miss this,”
One of his hands slides across my stomach up toward one of my breast covered in lace. He pulls the material down, covering my skin with his palm. His hips pump faster against me.
I’m so lost, I don’t even notice the fact that my back is pressed against the cold glass or that I’m knocking papers off his desk, fact that I’m digging my nails so deep into his wrist I’m sure I’ve punctured his skin.
He groans loudly before pulling away from me completely. I whimper at the loss of his body against mine.
“Up,” he instructs. I do as I’m told, sitting up on the desk before hoping down. Two hands come up, cupping the back of my neck as he brings my mouth in. This time, I catch his lips between my teeth before he can pull me in. I nibble on his bottom lip, bringing my own hands up to comb through his dark hair.
He pulls away suddenly, a hand on my hip spins me around so that my back is toward him. He runs his palm up my spine, applying the smallest amount of pressure to get me to bend. My chest presses against the desk as he bends over me. His lips fall on the back of my neck, and then my ear.
“You like when I take you like this, right?”
I nod wanting nothing but to taste his mouth again. He pulls away only a little. His lips move down my spine slowly. A hand moves against my ass, squeezing my skin.
“You’re so sexy,” he says against my skin. “And you’re all mine, aren’t you? You’ve always been mine,”
I can’t speak. It’s like my tongue is caught in my throat or something. I look back at him. His wet hair, a little too long falls over his falls over his forehead barely covering his eyes that work over my skin.
He draws back fully standing above me. Without warning his hips snap against mine. I moan out as he continues at the rough staggered pace. I reach out to hold onto the edge of the desk.
“Fuck, Y/n, fuck,”
Whenever I think I can’t be more attracted to him, he surpasses expectation. It makes me weak. It makes me give him pieces of myself that I should maybe keep to myself. With Jay, he’s made it so that there’s no such thing as holding back for me. He owns everything. Like he said, he always has.
“God, I love you,” I cry out.
“I love you too, baby, so much,”
I feel my knees finally give out, and I’m not able to hold myself up anymore. I feel like I’m floating, moving through time with nothing pulling me back to earth but his hands on me.
A hand slides up my back toward the back of my scalp. His fingers tighten around my hair gently as he fucks me. I feel dirty. Like we’re doing something we aren’t supposed to. Realistically, anyone can walk in at any time and this isn’t a soundproof room. There’s a thrill at the possibility of someone coming in to hear the sound of Jay’s skin moving against mine, and just how good he’s making me feel.
“Jay,” I sigh, swiveling my hips in time with his to get closer to him somehow.
“I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere,”
But, you are.
I shake the thought of him leaving me away. I’m here. He’s here. And it’s not forever.
His hands move all around my body, touching skin that he knows as well as his own. I wonder when exactly all the small pieces of me became more for him. When the beauty spots on my shoulder became parts of me he’d fallen in love with too. When did he know that the birthmark on the back of my left thigh belonged to him along with the rest of me?
He curses, suddenly. His movements become more erratic and rough with his fingers digging into my skin. My knees bump against the glass of his desk as he comes against me. I feel myself come again wrapped around him with a loud groan. His hands rest on either side of me while we both come down from wherever we just were.
I’ve never been one for passion. I’ve never been one for deep affection. I always thought it was just how I was set up. Sometimes I’d wonder if I just didn’t have the capacity to fall head over heels in love with someone.
But here I am; draped across a glass desk, drenched in sweat, thoroughly (roughly) fucked, and so damn in love, I could burst. All four of these things I never thought they could be with Jay. Jay who knows all the bad parts of me. Jay who gets annoyed at how indecisive I am. Jay who introduced me to my first boyfriend. Jay who has seen all of my emotional wreck moments.
It’s Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay. It always has been. And no matter how much we fight, how much we bitch and complain and annoy each other it’s always going to be Jay for me.
Jay pulls away from me and helps me stand up. I pull the straps of the thin outfit back in place. He disposes the condom in a trash can behind his desk and comes back to me. I lean against the desk and watch him pull himself back into place.
“Are you ok?” He frowns at me. “Was I too rough?”
I shake my head and clear the lump of emotion out of my throat.
“No, it was perfect. You were perfect. I just,” I trail off searching his brown eyes for something. For some hint that everything for the last decade and a half leading up to this moment was somehow wrong. That for some reason we’d gotten it wrong and we’ll crumble tomorrow.
I think about what Chae said about marriage making everything worse and better. I don’t think it’s the act of marrying someone. I think it’s the act of irrevocably committing to someone that has everything in chaos after marriage for some people. I also think Jay and I have been committed to each other for years before we got together. We’d decided to be apart of each other’s life forever a long time ago so maybe we’ll be ok.
It’s this moment that I feel myself stop walking on eggshells. This is it for me. I can say that without fear or hesitation now. No, matter how bad it gets, or what stupid mistake either of us makes, it’ll never be enough to ruin us.
I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.
His words feel like more than a promise. It’s like a law now. It can’t be undone.
His hands cup my face, his thumbs swipe under my lips that feel a little bit swollen.
“You’re scaring me, Y/n,” he gives me a small smile. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“I’ve been afraid that I’ll lose you all this time. I’ve been so scared that anything one of us did could make everything just implode,”
I reach up to run my hands along his sides. Even touching him like this is comforting.
“I just realized that we’re stuck with each other whether we like it or not,” I smile.
Jay rolls his eyes and brings his mouth down to mine. When he pulls back, his tongue comes across his bottom lip before he gives me a smile that tilts everything inside of me on its axis.
“I’ve always known you were a slow learner,”
I scoff, rolling my eyes, but I can’t stop smiling. “You’re so annoying. So, so annoying,”
I duck under his arm and grab my trench coat that I’d discarded on the ground. Jay laughs and helps me into the jacket, even tying it securely at my waist.
“Let’s go home and do this all over again,”
I smile up at him ready to say something smart back but my phone rings. I pull it out of my purse. It’s Gina Waters. She’s somehow managed to both start and end my day. I don’t know how I feel about that.
“Hey, Gina,”
“Y/n. I have news. All kinds of news,”
“Ok, I’m ready for all kinds of news, I think,” Jay frowns down at me but I shrug not knowing what she’s talking about.
“First, and most importantly, my article is up on Haute. It has tons of traffic and I want a dedication when you write your first memoir,”
I laugh. “Ok, noted. Thank you. I know I sounded more than a little hesitant this morning but I appreciate you caring enough to put something else out,”
“Of course, Y/n. It was an honor, trust me. Second, we figured out who was behind the first article. A writer who was just looking to write big story confessed this morning. I guess news got around that I had gotten a story with you, he did some digging, got in contact with a friend of yours. He said she gave him everything he needed to know about your boyfriend,”
“A friend of mine? I don’t actually have friends. I have two,”I look at my boyfriend who’s cleaning up the mess of papers. “Three. If you count my boyfriend, which we aren’t because he’s out of the question,”
But Chae and Bora wouldn’t do this either.
“Well, trust me he’s being more than dealt with. Using unreliable sources is the least of what he should be worried about. Unfortunately, because Elise Reagan doesn’t work for us and didn’t do anything illegal, we can’t actually deal with her,”
My blood runs cold. Then hot. Scorching hot. I can feel the heat on the surface of my skin.
“You said, Elise, right? I’m not going crazy. You said, Elise Reagan?”
Gina pauses. “I mean, yeah. You know her, I’m guessing?”
“Yes. Listen, I’ll handle Elise. Thank you. I have to go,”
“Y/n, wait wait,”
“Thank you, Gina. We’ll talk tomorrow. My tomorrow, I guess. I hate time zones. I’ll call you,”
I hang up. I set my eyes on my boyfriend who looks at me wide-eyed.
“Why are you so damn pretty,” I groan.
His eyebrows rise up.
“Excuse me?”
“You just attract fucking crazy ass women. Before, it used to be funny watching you navigate the trouble your face and your stupid smile and everything else you have going on,” I gesture up and down his body. “caused. But, now I’m annoyed,”
“So this is my fault,” he laughs incredulously.
“Yes...no,” I groan again. “Let’s go, I’m hungry, and I need to think about how I’m going to deal with this,”
I can see it now. Jay Park’s American girlfriend who uses him for attention found attacking Elise Reagan for exposing her demon ways.
“What’s wrong with your face? You look like you’re about to have a stroke,”
I roll my eyes and grab his extended hand. “I’m pissed,”
“Clearly,”
“And I’m hungry. And I rather not think about this girl right now,”
“Ok, so food, more sex, and sleep?”
“Food, the rest is debatable,”
Jay rolls his eyes but leads me out of his office. I hand over his keys on the way down to his car.
We pick up food on our way home and by the time I’m done eating, I’m so angry with only have Jay to take out my aggression out on (much to his appreciation). We curl around each other late at night.
“You and your stupid pretty face,” I curse into his neck. “Everyone is obsessed with you. Literally everyone,”
“You can sue her or something,” he suggests.
“No, she has money. She won’t care. She wants you. It’s hurting her stupid rich pride that she can’t have you. Not just that she can’t have you. She’s seething that someone has prohibited her from having you. She’s not allowed to,”
Jay is quiet for a long time. Finally, he sighs and pulls me in tight. “I feel like a piece of meat,”
I laugh. “My piece of meat,”