#ru ok

[ladynuwanda]

Imagine. Just… imagine. If something like this had dropped four years ago.

[c0sm1c-n33dl3]

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There was a noise i think

twin did you take ur meds i think your going insane

[su1cidehotlinechat]

suicidal dayz playlist

[xdreamergirl]

All these questions when are they going to stop.

[secretlifebehindbooks]

Are u Okay You can talk it's okay

[melontay]

I was having a panic attack on the train this morning and in an attempt to deal with it until I could get off the train, I tried to think about how I would explain the physical feeling of it.

You know when you’re sleeping and you have that dream where you’re falling, and in between being asleep and awake, you have that intense moment of fear where all of your muscles tense up, you stop breathing, and your entire body feels hot, almost like you have pins and needles all over your body?

But the moment you wake up, you realise it’s not real and that feeling subsides and you can breathe again and you slump back onto the mattress in relief.

Ok so imagine not being able to stop that intense moment of fear; not getting that breath of relief.

[melontay]

I realised that I always get really upset if Simon says the wrong thing when I'm super anxious/panicky. I also realised that me worrying over his reaction makes my anxiety that much worse each time. So I'm going to write a list of things to give myself some perspective and rationality so that I don't blow things up in my mind and make myself worse. - he only gets frustrated because he can't do anything about it - he says he wants to help but he can't - he worries about me - he's never seen me this bad before - he only does the most minimal things wrong (eye roll, says one thing wrong in amongst the right things) - is really supportive majority of the time - loves me still - tells me it's ok not to do things and to rest - waits for as long as need be before we leave so I can go to the bathroom - is understanding that sometimes I don't want to leave the house - I'm over-sensitive when I'm like this - I'm irritable - I kick myself when I'm down - I want him to think highly of me and I worry that this will detract from his opinion of me - I blow things out of proportion when I'm anxious - I always come to see reason once I'm feeling better All of these things that he does make life easier for me. And all of the things I do to myself make it harder. Before I spaz out at something he says in the future & message my friends to calm me down, maybe I can look back on this list and be kinder to myself. And to him.

[melontay]

An almost panic attack - my text to a friend after

I'm having a really bad day. I was ok in the morning and we sat down by the beach til lunchtime. Up at the general store there's a toilet but it's mainly for staff & last time I asked to use it the guy wasn't pleased. I've had runny butt and not felt heaps good since lunch. I had noodles and simon wasn't hungry but then he was hungry and so he wanted to go to the store. He doesn't like going alone. He said that if I felt sick I could drive back to our park then go pick him up (it's on the same road ). There was a line and a wait for food so already I was unsettled. We waited for about 5-10mins and I was feeling bad so I said I'm gonna go to the toilet and simon rolled his eyes. I was like "DON'T you make me feel bad for this" and I walked out. I walked around the block coz I didn't want to drive back coz I knew I'd be on the toilet for a long time. When I walked back he was at the car. I'm now in the park toilets and we're having silent treatment. I refuse to apologise. I'm just feeling really sad and I needed to talk to someone because I already feel so horrible and I don't want to upset anyone else for my being sick and I'm doing everything I can