Prof. Ozpin: Thank you for coming, Mr. Xiao Long. I apologize for calling you in today, I know you're a very busy man, but I didn't think that the topic of Ruby could be discussed over the phone.
Taiyang: Of course, Professor Ozpin. If Ruby is in some sort of trouble, I'd like to nip it in the bud! Heh, see what I did there?
Prof. Ozpin: (rolls his eyes) Yes, yes, very clever. Well, quite frankly, Ruby is in trouble. Her recent behavior has left a great deal to be desired. She shows no interest in the more academic aspects of being a huntress. She constantly causes problems for her partner, she has no respect for her teachers, and it's been weeks since she's submitted any completed homework.
Taiyang: Oof, this is bad.
Prof. Ozpin: Indeed. In fact, if she wasn't dead, I'd have her expelled.
Taiyang: .................................................................. beg your pardon?
Prof. Ozpin: Yes, expelled. If I wasn't making allowances for the fact that your little fifteen-year-old girl is dead, she'd be out of this school.
Taiyang: Ruby's dead?!
Prof. Ozpin: Well, yes. She's lying up in the nurse's office as stiff as a board and bright green. And this, I fear, is typical of her current attitude. Ruby has no sense of moderation. One minute, she's zipping around with her semblance, the next moment she's completely immovable. And starting to smell.
Taiyang: How did she die?!
Prof. Ozpin: Well, is that important?
Taiyang: Well, yes, I think it is!
Prof. Ozpin: Well, it all has to do with the school's dust reserves. We've had a lot of issues recently with students just taking dust without proper authorization. Ruby was caught in the act, and I administered a beating, during which she died. However, I think you'll be glad to know that the ringleader was caught, so we shouldn't have any more issues with dust discipline. You see, the dust reserves-
Taiyang: Wait, wait! You beat Ruby to death?!
Prof. Ozpin: Well, yes. Yes, so it would seem. Uh, please, I'm not used to being interrupted. You see, the dust system-
Taiyang: Exactly what happened?!
Prof. Ozpin: Well, apparently, students were just slipping into the dust reserves and taking vials.
Taiyang: No! During the beating!
Prof. Ozpin: Oh, that. Well, one moment she was bending over, the next she was lying down.
Taiyang: DEAD?!
Prof. Ozpin: Well, dead-ish. Mr. Xiao Long, I find this morbid fascination of yours with your daughter's death quite disturbing. What I'm talking about is her attitude. And, quite frankly, I can see where she gets it from.
Taiyang: Well, it wasn't me who beat her to death!
Prof. Ozpin: Well, that was perfectly obvious to me the moment she set foot on campus grounds. I often wondered then as I wonder now if she would have turned out different if you'd administered a few fatal beatings early on.
Taiyang: ARE YOU MAD?!
Prof. Ozpin: I'm furious! In order to accommodate for the funeral service, I've had to cancel afternoon classes on Wednesday!
Taiyang: THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS!
Prof. Ozpin: Yes, it is! Or at least, it would be... if it were true.
Taiyang: What?
Prof. Ozpin: I've been joking, Mr. Xiao Long. I'm sorry, it's my own strange sense of humor. I've been pulling your leg.
Taiyang: (relieved) Oh, thank god.
Prof. Ozpin: (chuckles) Yes. I wouldn't cancel afternoon classes just to bury that little brat.
Taiyang: ...
This was a wild ride from start to finish, not gonna lie.
