thinking about the keg scene a little too much today. and maybe i'm putting more meaning into it than necessary. but whatever. it's my boy and i can add more angst if i want to. i mean, yes, there's the erotic part of it but also i love how it shows that he contains opposites. kegging and being cool and shit with trembling hands. (i know it's adrenaline but also ✨anxiety✨.) yelling "this is how you do it hawkins" while looking like he's seconds away from emptying his stomach. probably forcing himself not to. because showing that you're better than "them" is more important than listening to your body. i love how it is very clear that everything people see about billy is a show. specially when you think about other scenes like how he lifts weights while smoking and drinking and listening to a loud song, how he crafts his look very carefully. the word choices. the way no one knows anything personal about him. etc.