#rufflbrand

[rufflbrand-blog]

Oi! Stop hoofing around the shops looking for your wedding shirt dear groom #rufflbrand #wedding #bankholidayweekend #groom #dressingup #prom

[rufflbrand-blog]

Wedding fears #3: What if I get ill?

Do understand and appreciate that you are not a “super-human” person. You are just you with all the weaknesses and failings of every other individual on the planet. Sometimes you get ill. It is unavoidable. Be prepared and then file the worry away. The chances are it will not be realised and your day will be splendid!

Work through this checklist, see what applies to you. Use it, change it, message me with queries. Pass it on.

Why worry? Because a wedding day is important for you both. It will be a culmination of lots of planning, anxiety, expenditure. You will be feeling a lot of expectation from friends and family. This is all natural. Worrying is natural. It is a good thing because it makes you aware, it makes you plan and it makes you realise that it is something that can be coped with. Oh, and you are reading this....so already you are starting to deal with it.

Check the contracts. When you make bookings for the venue, the church, the caterers or whatever ask about the cancellation policy and rules. Get something written down – either ensure the provisions are in the contract paperwork or you have made a separate note of any discussions you have with personnel at the contracting places – record names, dates, times and people present. This may sound very official but is essential if there is a disagreement later about what was said or agreed. Most places will have a contractual provision. This is to protect them and their costs and overheads if you pull out for illness or any other reason.

One thing worth mentioning here too is that your illness may be only temporary and simply deferring to another date may be a good option, less costly and the best way to handle things.

Understand. Having said check the paperwork I advise you to ensure you know what it all means and what your rights and obligations are so that if you have to cancel you know what the consequences are.

Insure. Weddings cost a heap of money. Insurance is one of those necessary evils – we all hate buying it, but are really pleased we have it if things go pear-shaped. Shop around. Make sure the policy you buy has all the coverage you want and meets the financial obligations you will make. For illness claims be sure you know what you will have to do to satisfy the claim process – usually getting medical evidence is essential and you have a duty to mitigate (i.e. minimise) your loss – so cancel venues etc as soon as you are aware the event cannot go ahead...do not delay if this will add to the claim you make.

Tell and explain. If you are seriously ill and things can't go ahead then let all your guests know ASAP. Do be thorough. Use email and dare I suggest it, even pick up the telephone and actually speak to the people you may be worried about not getting electronic mail. Think about those that have their own travel arrangements – hotel bookings, flights or whatever – the sooner they know the sooner they can decide how to deal with the issue. Do not worry about the consequences for others – it isn't your problem – just be sure they know if the event is not going ahead. All the “add on” services you have booked need to be cancelled too – photographer, caterers, band, chauffeurs, balloon artistes or whatever. Keep a note of whom you speak to if you cancel on the telephone and the date and time you do this just in case someone doesn't pass on the message and a service provider shows up and there is a consequential claim arising from this.

Develop thick skin. Some people, and I suggest it will be one or two, may be annoyed and make this known. Brush this off. End the conversation as soon as you can and move onto the next thing. In time they will realise that it wasn't your fault,you had to cancel and very likely if they have been rude or inconsiderate they will end up apologising.

Look after YOU. Serious illness which hits you without warning cannot be prepared for and is just really unfortunate but more minor things which might interrupt the proceedings and result in a need to cancel can be given only a tiny chance to arise if you adopt a few simple pre-wedding rules. See my forthcoming “Wedding fears #4” blog for guidance.

Finally do remember that nearly every wedding goes off without any hitches at all.

If this has helped please share it.

Adrian Samuel

[rufflbrand-blog]

Wedding fears #2: The behaviour of your guests

Work through this checklist, see what applies to you. Use it, change it, message me with queries then....nail it!

Why worry? Because a wedding day is important for you both. It will be a culmination of lots of planning, anxiety, expenditure. You will be feeling a lot of expectation from friends and family. This is all natural. Worrying is natural. It is a good thing because it makes you aware, it makes you plan and it makes you realise that it is something that can be coped with. Oh, and you are reading this....so already you are starting to deal with it.

Choose wisely. This kind of goes hand in hand with a question you should ask when deciding who to invite in the first place. If you have an uncle or an aunt who can't behave then leave them off the list. That's it. Problem solved. Be single minded about this – in other words ignore the criticism you will attract from the family. Likewise with friends. If you have a potential for trouble with an outspoken, overly high-spirited or drunken friend just don't invite them. You may have to explain why – be honest because if you don't take the decision the problems that could arise almost certainly will.....and who will suffer then?

Ushers. What I refer to here is the group of close friends who help you organise stuff in advance or on the day – arranging, meeting and greeting. These people should be your most trusted allies and should be your defence against the dark forces of the Big Day – there with umbrella's if the rain starts and a shelter and protection from things that might arise with the behaviour of guests – ask them to please be alert and give them the authority to act without having to trouble you with an unpleasant scenario should it occur.

Drink. Open bar tabs will be abused and consequences from that could be unpleasant. Provide a range of drinks including plenty of non-alcoholic options, tea, coffee, water and make zero alcohol beverages available freely throughout the event to counter the effects of the real stuff.

Ex's. Unless you are both comfortable and know for certain that their behaviour is guaranteed leave them off the guest list – a wedding is an emotional event, even for guests on occasions and something said or a memory triggered could lead to an unwanted reaction.

Focus. On the day itself. It is your day and you must not let concerns about others affect your enjoyment of the event. If you plan and address the issues discussed here you will have no such concerns anyway.

Photographs and social media exposure. Once upon a time it was quite the thing for guests to be given one of those disposable cameras (one per table at the reception) for them to take their own pics of the event, and the happy couple would then have the film developed afterwards to give them an “unseen” record of the day. Well you can imagine how many of those cameras were taken to other rooms and bathrooms at the venue with the intention of taking a series of risky pics for the record.

Today there is no need for the disposable camera as everyone has a mobile one and developing the photographs takes a fraction of a second. A few choice pictures could appear but I rather think this is less likely these days – you will have chosen the guests wisely and most Facebookers or Instagrammers don't want to blot their profile with awful photos – the Snapchatters....well the picture is gone really as soon as it has been published...gone and forgotten. Oh and putting a positive spin on this one you may actually find that a whole load of great “unseen” footage is shot which you will actually like very much indeed.

Venue. Places that are used to hosting weddings will know the signs and be ready to help. If you have genuine fears or a ticking time bomb then discuss it with them in your planning meetings.

Finally do remember that nearly every wedding goes off without any hitches at all, or if there are a few spikey moments they pass and are forgotten and more often than not the bridal couple only ever hear about it afterwards. If I am invited to a wedding I am delighted, want to enjoy the experience and share properly in the day. Your guests will almost certainly be exactly the same and if they are not then remember this:

You cannot change other people, you can only change yourself.

So move away from worrying yourself about this. Plan, relax and leave the problems for others.

If this has helped please share it.

Adrian Samuel