#ruination au

[childotkw]

Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗

Oh god, this is like picking a favourite child 😅😅 but I'll rank them from most to least

1. Consuming Shadows

This was my first big story back, after I stopped writing for about six years. I was just testing the waters, having fun, and I wanted to play around with a ship I had only really just started consuming content for. It very quickly reignited my passion for writing, and it's blown up in such a way that I had never anticipated. I love the plot, I love the characters, I love Hadrian's progression from snarky but emotionally distant figure to a genuinely warm and loving friend, I love how well I managed to keep the threads of storylines and foreshadowing together, and I love the slow development of Hadrian and Tom's relationship in a way that's believable and does them both justice. The fact that so many people have resonated with it over the years has really left a mark on me, and I'll never forget all the things this story gave me.

2. you belong to me (i belong to you)

This one really was just my 'haha this is for the lolz' story. It was never meant to be popular or as big as it is. I was just fumbling around, wanting to write a cool time travel story, and then I came up with the Twist and it was no longer a joke 😂 I love the dynamics in it, I love Harry's general vibe, I love Orion and his chaos gremlin schtick. I'm still amazed that I came up with the plot twist (like, seriously, I don't think I can ever replicate that). And the fact that this story grew so popular and that so many people have enjoyed what started as my funny lil project overwhelms me in the best way.

3. The Lone Wolf Dies (But The Pack Survives)

In a lot of ways, this was a love letter to Regulus. I'd never really given him much thought as a character, but I fell in love with my interpretation of him. He's incredibly complex, and the future potential of the story really makes me excited.

4. ruination

Again, it's more the potential of this story that makes me love it. I wasn't super comfortable writing for asoiaf, and the fandom makes me...uneasy in a lot of ways. But I greatly enjoy all the ways this story could go. Lucerys intrigues me, and my interpretation of his character is especially fun to think about. I want to explore the slow but fundamental shift in a character, something that leads to them becoming almost unrecognisable. I love fantasy, and getting to play around in such an immersive world makes me giddy.

5. i don't owe you my forgiveness

It's only one chapter at the moment, but I really really really love the concept of soulmate rejection and the bitterness that is sown by Tom's hasty actions. The inherent power imbalance - originally in Tom's favour and then very dangerously in Harry's - is one dynamic I can't wait to sink my teeth into.

[grimmoths]

@childotkw So I may have taken a more fantastical approach to imagining Cannibal so I present a very rough first draft doodle of Cannibal and a teensy Luke

[childotkw]

Please, I’m fucking begging you, please write that HOTD story. Really, I’m desperate for some excellent stories in this universe, and you are the best writer. Everything you touch is gold. Please 🙏 🙏 🙏 (thank you for all your wonderful stories by the way! You really are the best!! Your stories are absolutely 🔥) have a wonderful day!

You're too sweet to me, darling 🥰🥰 and you're maybe in luck 😉

--- -- --- -- ---

“Lucerys Velaryon is alive,” Larys Strong said, and Aemond felt, for a brief moment, as if the stone had vanished beneath his feet.

The very air in the small council room froze, shock stealing the breath from their lungs, before the world resumed and the weight of their collective attention fell on him. Aemond felt the shift, knew that if he turned around he would find every eye fixed on him, but the knowledge failed to pierce the rush of blood in his ears.

“What?” he heard his mother gasp, though it was distant. There was something else – the faint drag of a chain against thick fabric – and Aemond suspected she was clutching at her necklace.

“Whispers have reached my ears,” Larys continued in his usual lilting voice, his own thoughts on these rumours shielded expertly, “that the boy survived his…encounter with Prince Aemond. He has returned to Dragonstone.”

“How?” his grandsire asked, and even he seemed shaken at the news. “How?”

It was a demand this time.

“You said you killed him.”

Aemond turned his head slowly, his focus pulling away from his muddled thoughts until his gaze settled on the older man. There was anger creasing his face, the flustered agitation of someone who could feel himself losing ground, but for once Aemond didn’t care about the traces of accusation laying in that tone.

“I thought I did,” he said.

Alive, his mind hissed. Alivealivealive.

“You said you killed his dragon –” the man began, and Aemond looked away, back to the wall.

“Vhagar tore Arrax in half,” he interjected calmly, his hands clenching rhythmically. “Even if he avoided the bite, he would have fallen over a hundred feet into a raging storm.”

His eyelid fluttered, remembering the spiralling remains of his nephew’s dragon. His gloves, well-worn as they were, creaked quietly over his knuckles.

“Forgive me, grandsire, for assuming Lucerys was mortal.”

He should have died. He should have died.

Aemond inhaled, his chest expanding as the realisation condensed and solidified in his mind – and ridiculously, he had the overwhelming urge to laugh.

“There is more,” Larys stated with deliberate delicateness.

Aemond turned, unable to ignore the growing tug in his navel.

“It is being said that he has claimed Cannibal.”

[childotkw]

Oh my God you like lucemond. My favorite writer likes my new obsession. The best tomarry/Harrymort writer I know likes lucemond.

When can we expect the fics? (Pretty please?)

Nnggghhhh fine. I'm thinking of calling it ruination because it's ✨dramatic✨

(Also, anons, you flatter me - let me repay your love by feeding our budding obsession)

It's essentially a 'Lucerys survives the fall and keeps his memories' story. The piece of Arrax's body that he was attached to took the brunt of the damage, and he washed up on a small rocky, uninhabited island, miraculously alive.

--- -- --- -- ---

Lucerys woke on the shore of an islet.

Cold water lapped at his legs, a teasing threat, and his body ached down to his bones. Each breath brought with it a fresh wave of agony, his ribs rattling in his bruised chest.

But none of that could eclipse the yawning, cavernous, echoing sense of loss ringing like a death knell in his heart.

Arrax.

His eyes burned with sea salt and sand and fresh tears. A sob caught in his throat, iron pooling in his mouth as his new reality etched itself into his soul.

His dragon, his life-long companion, his friend - gone. Snatched. Taken.

...

Eventually, Lucerys managed to pull his battered body further up the shoreline until he collapsed, trembling, at the base of the dark rock outcrop that seemed to dominate the tiny island. As he dragged his weakened legs close, leaving red imprints from his blood-soaked clothes, his dark eyes finally scanned his surroundings.

And what he saw made the sorrow the flooded him feel but a drop compared to the rage that seared its way through his blood.

He hadn't washed up alone.

Chunks of flesh - soft pink muscles and pearlescent white skin - were scattered up and down the small inlet.

The sight hollowed out what remained of his lucidity.

--- -- --- -- ---

It'd explore what the violent and sudden loss of his bond with Arrax would do to him.

For days Lucerys would be trapped on this islet in Shipbreaker Bay. The waters would be too harsh for him to dare to swim (not that that meant much with the distance between him and the mainland), and his only source of water would be the collection of rainwater that pooled in some hollows in the rocks.

He'd manage to create a small fire from some sun-dried wood that washed up, but when the hunger kicked in and the shaking got too much for him to try to hunt fish - he'd have one thing to eat.

The idea would disgust him, horrify him - a desecration and a last betrayal towards his friend. But hunger's a hard foe to battle, and another part of him would think that even now Arrax was looking after him, protecting him from starvation.

This would be the catalyst, because two days later is when Cannibal came for him.

--- -- --- -- ---

Arrax had been light and warm, their bond crackling merrily like a campfire. Inviting. Mischievous. Young.

Cannibal reminded Lucerys of the jagged mess surrounding the Iron Throne. Cold steel and dangerous. Steeped in a history he would never experience, that he could only see the end result of.

He loomed large in the edges of Lucerys' senses, still as wild and threatening as he had been when he came for him that day.

Their bond was nothing like his and Arrax's. There was no love there, no affection - only a keen possessiveness and the rumbling, storm-like understanding that they were the same.

Cannibals. Cutting their teeth on the flesh of other dragons.

--- -- --- -- ---

Cannibal would fly Lucerys back to Dragonstone - their return a mix of terror and jubilation.

Jubilation, because the son they feared dead had come back to them.

Terror, because not all of him returned on the back of the largest, most infamous wild dragon.

A light in Lucerys had gone out, the last dregs of his innocence died in Vhagar's jaws, and it would be obvious to everyone that looked at him.

He would be sharper, darker and more aggressive as his bond with Cannibal settled and their ferocity fed on each other's; and he would be aflame with the need to avenge his first, gentler dragon.

Rhaenyra would be concerned, dreading what these changes meant; but Daemon would be the one to turn the endless rage into a weapon.

--- -- --- -- ---

Daemon's hand curled around the base of his neck, the weight familiar and firm and warm. Lucerys allowed his step-father to tilt his head, a thumb pressing against the hinge of his jaw, and he met those purple eyes without fear.

"Alright?" the man asked, whisper soft and painfully gentle despite the violence evident in the lines of his face.

Lucerys paused, blinking heavily, and exhaled with bitter honesty. "No," he answered.

Daemon smiled at him, a small quirk of his lips filled with fatherly fondness. "You will be," he promised, tugging Lucerys in until his forehead rested against the man's chest.

--- -- --- -- ---

Eventually, news would break that Lucerys survived and now rode Cannibal.

And Aemond, who no longer had kinslayer hanging over his head, the word whispered at his back like a dagger sinking into his soft flank, would be torn between relief, guilt and the same niggling want that had dogged his steps every day for the last ten years.

[childotkw]

I just went here bc I thought something might happened to you ;;;; the last update from CS is from September last year. (At least at FF). I'm used to "slow" updates which is totally fine! (take your time!!) but this is the longest wait since I'm following your story so I was really worried! glad you're still alive and doing well 😭 how's it going with both stories atm? CS and ybtm (ibty)? Sending much love! ❤️

I am indeed still alive! Just busy with real life shit 😔

I’m chipping away at both YBTM(IBTY) and CS, as well as ruination, BH&VS, and i don’t owe you my forgiveness.

I’m all over the place but I’m hoping to have some stuff posted shortly!

[childotkw]

Daemon recognizing Unhinged Targaryen Soulmates when he sees them: ...

Daemon staring into the void: ...

Daemon to Rhaenyra: You realize your father is laughing at us, right?

(Rhaenyra is not impressed.)

Daemon to Lucerys: Look, I'm provisionally supporting this, here's snacks for the road and a knife to stab him if you need to. Aim for the gut this time.

Daemon to Aemond: I won't tell you not to hurt him. I will say that if he dies, or if he ever asks me to, I will ENJOY ripping out your spine and beating your bloodied corpse with it. Be safe, have fun.

A 1000x yes 😂

Daemon is the tentative cheerleader - but he’s fully prepared to murder Aemond if he hurts Lucerys in anyway.

--- -- --- -- ---

He stepped up behind her, hands lightly caressing the bare skin of her back, reverence in the fleeting touch of his fingers.

Daemon noted the tension in her neck, the way she held her head straight and the subtle clench to her jaw. “You’re upset,” he said, tracing the smooth glide of her shoulder blade with his thumb.

Rhaenyra scoffed, twisting just enough to catch his eye. Displeasure stained her delicate features. “Upset?” she echoed, mouth curling down at the corners. “I am far passed that. Just what is he thinking?”

She was more exasperated than angry, though worry still bubbled in her tone. He knew her fears, knew how Lucerys’ recent admissions had sent a stab of anxiety through her gut - because he felt it too.

Still, a part of him - buried deep beneath the biting, ferocious rage that consumed him - could not help but find some spark of amusement at this new revelation.

“I suppose our boy is thinking of what he wants, and how he might take it.”

Rhaenyra turned in his hold, her eyes blazing with motherly indignation.

“And he wants Aemond?” she demanded, sharp as a dragon’s teeth.

There was confusion in her eyes, and hidden carefully in the lines of her face - hurt.

Daemon reached up to gently hold her head between his hands, gazing down at his glorious wife with unconcealed admiration.

He loved her more than anything, but he just couldn’t resist stoking her ire this one time.

“Falling for his uncle…he truly is his mother’s son,” he said with an impish grin.

Rhaenyra smacked her hand against his chest, her pretty mouth pursed in an effort to mask her amusement.

It bled away swiftly though, and she looked down to where her hand now rested on his doublet. “I worry for him,” she confessed quietly. “This…fascination he has with him, the way they circle each other…I fear that one day we will lose him again, permanently. That Aemond will succeed were he didn’t before. That Luke will…”

She swallowed, and Daemon pulled her close, tucking her against his chest. The fact that they had almost lost him once hung heavy over their heads.

“Fret not, love. If anything should happen to Lucerys, if my foolish nephew harms one hair on his precious head, I shall take a knife and flay him alive in payment.”

[childotkw]

Ahhh! I'm absolutely in love with your Lucemond fic snippets. The idea of Lucerys bonding with the Cannibal over their shared consumption of dragon flesh is just so *chef's kiss*. Also that line about Lucerys thinking about the way Arrax was still looking out for him even in death. My poor heart. I've seen a few people mention Lucerys surviving and bonding with him, but no one talked about how such a thing could come to pass when the dragon has a history of killing any who try to fly him.

A part of me can't help but think about the utterly dark and unhinged potential of their bond. Perhaps there is no real love and gentle affection between them, not like Lucerys' bond with Arrax, but they have a shared experience and an understanding of doing whatever it takes to survive. The Cannibal is always hungry for the flesh of his kin, and he can sense that same sort of hunger in his newly bonded. It resonates between them. It makes the ancient beast want to nuture that hunger, ensure that his feral little rider survives and grows stronger. The old dragon feeds Lucerys' need for revenge, and the human helps feed the beast's rage and cravings for battle and any spoils that he can claim. It creates a really beautiful and terrifying sort of symmetry.

And now for an utterly depraved idea...

Imagine the Cannibal swooping in and fighting an enemy dragon while Lucerys is involved in some skirmish on the ground and ripping off a chunk of flesh. The Blacks win the fight and the dragon lands and presents the lump to its rider like an offering.

Lucerys is quiet as he watches the great dragon lower its massive head and nudge the meat towards him. He can hear the whispers of onlookers calling his bonded a monster and how they should all fear for their lives. Through their bond he can feel Cannibal's quiet encouragement. Here. The flesh of your enemy. Eat. Be strong. With Cannibal's thoughts echoing in his head head, he opens his mouth and commands, "Dracarys."

The dragon's flames errupt forth, scorching the meat in a controlled burst of emerald fire. The gathered crowd watches on in shock and horror as the Prince draws out a knife and slices away a strip of seared meat. The Cannibal throws back his head with a proud roar as the boy accepts and his teeth sink into his gift.

(Tell me Aemond wouldn't go absolutely unhinged and feral over finding out Lucerys ended up eating Arrax in order to survive and may have just eaten a piece of one of the Green's dragons. It'd probably be worse if it was Vhagar that was injured too. Haha.)

I'm frothing at the mouth with this - it's like you're in my head.

When I thought up the whole symbolic cannibalism of Lucerys eating bits of Arrax to survive, I was so giddy. It happens rarely, but some of the things my brain comes up with honestly blow me away. I just immediately sat down and went yes YES this is what I need.

Poor boy is going to Go Through Some Things under my tender care. Just a dash more trauma and survivor guilt to make him extra spicy.

Lucerys will be walking a very fine line for most of this - and god am I excited to dive into his bond with Cannibal.

The unspoken understanding between them, that soul-deep connection, distorted reflections of each other…it'll be so good.

Lucerys' gradual shifts in personality, guided by Cannibal's own - it's like being caught in the tail of a comet. Cannibal is old, he has been around since the dawn of the Targaryen dynasty, and Lucerys is so young, too young to be able to keep himself grounded in the face of such a force of nature. Cannibal's hunger, that insatiable bloodlust - it'll start to bleed through, and Lucerys will be made into something new.

Especially in the beginning, when their bond is so fresh, Lucerys will feel the need to reinforce their connection. But once they've settled into their new dynamic, that will be when it becomes…routine for him. Normal. The disgust and shame mostly doused by the heady rush of power that comes from being a predator.

Once the war begins in earnest, and they are too valuable to leave wallowing on Dragonstone, Lucerys takes to eating his meals with Cannibal. He doesn't always partake in whatever prey Cannibal hauls in - sometimes it's enough for him to simply mime that act; but more often than not he'll return to camp with animal blood staining his mouth and hands.

The men are unnerved, Targaryens have always been…queer to outsiders, but who are they to question a dragon? Who are they to question Lucerys Velaryon, the rider of one of the largest dragons alive, and who is said to be unkillable?

No. They merely avert their eyes from the boy when he returns from visiting his beast, keeping their thoughts to themselves and praying that the day never comes when they are seen as prey.

(And as for Aemond? Well, when he hears the rumours surrounding Lucerys, when he hears how he drenches his pale skin in the blood of his kills, when he hears the way people speak of the boy with hushed fear instead of scorn…he can't help but laugh.

Because Lucerys had always been a violent, hungry little creature.

It's just now that everyone else sees the truth.)

[childotkw]

Jace might not find the new circumstances delightful but you know who does? Aemond. Aemond is finding this new turn of events absolutely ~☆delightful☆~.

At an actual Small Council meeting —

Larys: apparently Lucerys is targeting prince Aemond and wants to “roast him alive”…we’re not sure in what context given the rumours of cannibalism

Aemond, with the emotional intelligence of a rock: aww he loves me

Alicent: wtf are you talking about? That’s not love??

Aemond, dumbass energy on full blast: what do you mean? Lucerys wants to kill me. He’s hunting me down. He wants to destroy me. Isn’t that love?

Alicent, Otto, Criston, literally everyone on the Green’s side: jfc NO