Oct 11, 2025
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New Mexico Territory rustlers, circa 1880′s.
from True West Magazine
Martha Hyer 8/10/1924 - 5-31-2014
Subterranean Sizzler: The Micro-Gourmet World of the £1.50 Burger
The Rustlers burger. For years, I observed them languishing in the supermarket fridge, a gastronomic enigma encased in plastic. The whole concept felt deeply, beautifully confusing. Why would anyone microwave a burger?
Then arrived a fateful, tragic afternoon underground when I forgot my lunch and was forced to scavenge the local Tesco Metro for emergency sustenance. Reader, I capitulated. And a new ritual was born.
Let us be completely honest: they are not the finest burgers to have ever graced this glorious planet. However, with the proper, almost artistic preparation, they become a spectacular triumph of engineering. The secret lies in ignoring the instructions entirely. One must heat the patty under the grill and pop the bun in the toaster to avoid a damp, soggy disaster. Classic Rustlers move.
Of course, the included processed cheese and mystery sauce require a bit of elevated assistance. Any self-respecting flâneur must supply their own sophisticated condiments; I often bring a few rogue gherkins from home to add a touch of high-society crunch to the proceedings.
Do I find it deeply worrying that a complete meat-adjacent feast costs a mere £1.50? Immensely. It is a financial and culinary mystery that I try not to ponder too deeply whilst chewing. But as an occasional, subterranean treat, they are absolutely alright in my book. Delightfully.
A-I, schmay-i... This is hot af!
Pancake day 2024 🥞
Brought to you by Rustlers™️ 😂
Kenyan Woman Mary Ekai killed by Cattle Rustlers in Turkana, Kenya
Kenyan Woman Mary Ekai killed by Cattle Rustlers in Turkana, Kenya
Kenyan Woman Mary Ekai killed by Cattle Rustlers in Turkana, Kenya Dear Friends, It is with great sadness and acceptance of God’s will that we announce the passing of Mary Ekai. She was killed by cattle rustlers in Turkana, Kenya on 9/24/22. She was a sister to Jackie Ekai of Eastvale CA, Peter Ekai (student) of Indiana and 4 brothers in Kenya. Mary was a mother to Francis Eyanai (New student at…
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