Remember when the "accepted fanon" for pre-face-reveal Locus RedvsBlue was "of course we all agree the big terrifying dehumanized-by-the-narrative villain guy is Black and/or dark-skinned :) crazy that we all agree on that for no reason :)"
Why Keystone and RvB are so important to me. And also Coldplay music.
Be warned this post is sooo long lmao
For context: this chat
texelations:
there is a whole...;story about why i have so many kids so young
which is also tied into me being an rvb fan
RvB saved me from an evangelical cult news at 11
tuckerfuckingdidit:
i realized you could be anywhere between 30 and like 50+ and was like omg
...omg
texelations:
yeah until 2013 I had not worn pants or trimmed my hair since 1999
also this is why i know nothing of popular culture in the 00s
tuckerfuckingdidit:
good lordie.
texelations:
i know all about Ā veggie tales though
yeah so people think it's weird i'm so into rvb and stuff but basically Tex saved my life so lmao
I am getting a star tattoo on my back soon sometime
so people send me asks "wow how do you make so much time for writing and fandom when you have so much going on?" and it's like I can't not
rvb means so much to me
tuckerfuckingdidit:
:')
i can't
i found rvb when i was r e a l l y depressed and like
i can't really say that it saved my life, but it gave me something to hold on to
and i won't ever forget that
texelations:
yeah
it's like that
texelations:
i was going through such a bad time when rvb came to me, we were being foreclosed on, husband was underemployed, i could no longer wait tables which had been 50+% of our income, we were fighting a lot, we had to move into his grandmother's house which was only inhabitable because we (the two of us) cleaned 5 years of dead roaches and roach crap out of a vacant house with our two hands
i got so upset during one argument i put 10 fingernail holes in my scalp
it was...not a good time for me
tuckerfuckingdidit:
DDDDD:
texelations:
and rvb season 8 started, the day it started i listened to the first secular song i had listened to on purpose (not over muzak at work or something) in 15 years, it was Clocks by Coldplay
tuckerfuckingdidit:
omg
texelations:
and I was like "this is the plot of leonard and allison's life like?? omg" i have deleted the author's note to keystone where i talked about that maybe i should repost the details on that idk
tuckerfuckingdidit:
ooooOOOO
I LOVE COLDPLAY
TALK TO ME ABOUT THE CHURCHES AND COLDPLAY
texelations:
and so i know exactly when i started the first draft of keystone, it was april 1 2010
Okay so hereās where I ramble in reply because it works better as a post than a chat message:
I had discovered RvB during November of 2009. I watched it, but it was one of the few secular things we had watched since we decided to start enjoying some secular media and I felt quite guilty about it since it includes so much swearing and Ā crude humor. I read a couple fanfics, but then shoved it away for several months. But then I learned season 8 was going to be starting in April, and I decided to rewatch what came before in anticipation.
I was thinking a lot about Leonard and Allison and what their situation must have been like--it seemed like it must have been a Ā lot like mine. My husband fell in love with me very quickly and easily when we first met, and there were other factors that made me think that, as well. The day the RvB episode was to come out my husband gave me his mp3 player and let me listen to this song--it actually came up because we had once watched Chris Valentineās tribute video for the Columbia (which is split up on YT into three videos for some reason but) it used Clocks as part of the soundtrack and the piano part had stuck with me. I asked him if he knew what song that was, and he found it and played it for me.
I remember it pretty viscerally--I was sitting there on the bed, kind of perched on the edge with the earbuds held up to my ears (I have these little ears and earbuds like to fall out) and I listened to the lyrics and kept thinkingĀ āthis sounds like Leonard. and this does, tooā.
The lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead, singing
Leonard falls in love with Allison as a young person. She intrigues him and he canāt fight it--he develops a crush on her and becomes just a little bit obsessed with her and what sheās doing.Ā
Come out of the things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head and a
Trouble that can't be named
A tiger's waiting to be tamed, singing
Leonard canāt stand leaving her to be less thanĀ her best self--but he doesnāt really talk to her about her problems. He just tries to fix them. But Allison is who she is and she reacts the way she wants to. He canāt mold her into the perfect being he wants her to be.
You are, you are
He loves her though. Just for who and what she is. She fascinates him.
Confusion that never stops
The closing walls and the ticking clocks gonna
Come back and take you home
I could not stop, that you now know, singing
In Keystone, he actually provides her with a new home as part of his attempts to help her fix her life. But she doesnāt become exactly what he wants her to be. Even so, he keeps trying.
Come out upon my seas
Cursed missed opportunities am I
A part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease, singing
What he doesnāt realize is a lot of Allisonās problems are caused by men trying to make her what they want her to be. He doesnāt realize heās doing exactly the thing she needs to break away from. He has this total blind spot where he doesnāt see that she needs to fix her own problems, and the solutions arenāt the ones heās coming up with.
You are, you are
You are, you are
You are, you are
And nothing else compares
And nothing else compares
And nothing else compares
You are, you are
Home, home, where I wanted to go
Home, home, where I wanted to go
Home, home, where I wanted to go (You are)
Home, home, where I wanted to go (You are)
He eventually, eventually, comes to accept that Allison has a mind of her own and that if he wants to be with her, he needs to let her be what sheās going to be. And Allison grows into a better person. But itās not because of him. None of it is because of him.
I sat down that night, after the premiere of RvB season 8, and started writing Texas Confidential, which was the first version of the Tex life story I intended to write at this point. I canon reviewed after this and realized a lot of what I had written wouldnāt work. Later that week, as I tried to rework that, I was binge reading fic on FFN, when I came across After Schoool Special. (If this story sounds familiar to people who have read Keystone, itās because since this I got Leahās permission to remix After School Special into what is now chapter 3 of Keystone.) I read the story and the events that followed the events of her story, based on the lyrics of Clocks, just flooded into my mind. I started working diligently on what was now Leonardās life story (and Allisonās, by extension) and published it a month later under the title of White Knight. This title refers to the way Leonard saw himself--he was going to save her from herself.
A few days after I started publishing, as well as interacting with Leahās FFN forum, The RvB Review Crew, my husband again gave me his mp3 player and had me listen to a Coldplay song, a cover performed by Secondhard Serenade. He said it reminded him of what I was writing.
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
When high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix youĀ
I mean, does this need any commentary for anyone who has read Keystone lmao? He literally does everything he can to fix her, whether she wants him to or not. He literally upends his life and makes it revolve around her, and turns his home into a haven for her, and tries to make her see that sheās worth more than she thinks. (The only thing different in Keystone than it was in White Knight is Allison in White Knight was prone to crying. My view on her changed over time away from that. That part was inspired by this song though.)
Okay so then I started looking at Coldplayās discography and Coldplay is like the official Leonard/Allison band, I swear.
Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles; coming up tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science; science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start
I donāt suppose anyone whoās read Keystone needs any context for this one. If you havenāt, well, they break up for a while because Leonard messed the fuck up trying to fix her, and he eventually realizes he needs to quit waiting for her to apologize for her part in it and goes an apologizes. And they basically decide to start over completely. If anyone embodies the narrator of this song, itās my characterization of Leonard. The scientist--the one who looks for evidence and thinks in black-and-white in emotional situations, the one who thinks that if you apply a certain formula things will work out the way you want. But Leonard eventually comes to realize, at least in a measure, that this approach isnāt going to work.
Does this one even need an explanation?
Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah they were all yellow
I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow
So then I took my turn
Oh what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
You know you know I love you so
You know I love you so
I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do
'Cause you were all yellow
I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow
Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know
For you I'd bleed myself dry
For you I'd bleed myself dry
It's true
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine
Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do
Leonard worships Allison basically. Thereās more to it than just love or obsession. Itās deeper than that.
This is Leonard after Allisonās death. He (in Keystone at least) realizes he can use his expertise in AI tech to recapture some measure of her, to get something of her back, and he just plows through and does everything he can to make it happen.
Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross
Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse
I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Oh, and I'm just waiting 'till the shine wears off.
You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Oh, and I'm just waiting 'till the firing starts
Oh, and I'm just waiting 'till the shine wears off
Oh, and I'm just waiting 'till the shine wears off
Oh, and I'm just waiting 'till the shine wears off
Oh, and I'm just waiting 'till the shine wears off.
(The ābig fish in a little pondā lyric definitely refers to what he perceives as his rivalry with Halsey, btw. Too bad she has no idea who he is lmao.)
Those are the main ones I have but it has given me a great affection for Coldplay and I donāt really care about posts that refer to them as being hackneyed or whatever. I love their stuff and love listeing to it.
(Iām not going to link it here since itās not Leonard/Allison but also Green Eyes is the most unrequited York/Carolina song. Stupid idiot is just like Leonard I swear.)
ANYWAY YEAH. I used to publish my song choices to go with each chapter of Keystone since these and other songs have been so important to how I write it but no one ever listened to the playlists so I just pulled all that down. I may make a spotify list if anyone shows any interest though--I had a Ā lot of trouble making an 8tracks list because of their rule about only allowing two tracks by the same artist. And now you know why.
Okay so yeah, this whole thing explains my Leonard/Allison obsession, my RvB obsession, my Keystone obsession, and my affection for Coldplay. Message me if you have any comments or questions.
It's weird to compare an old Halo machinima series to a critically-acclaimed MMO but I can't help but think of Red vs. Blue when I hear of new FFXIV players being told "You just have to get to [Heavensward/Shadowbringers/Endwalker/endgame] and then it gets really good" because people would say the exact same thing to new viewers skeptical about RvB: "You just have to get to season 6 [usually 6, but sometimes it was 9 or even later], that's when it gets really good!" So naturally you'd have people going, "Well, can I just skip the Blood Gulch Chronicles, then?" and my answer was always that you can, but you shouldn't, because the impact of season 6 relies on you having spent five seasons getting to know and love these characters, their stupid jokes, and the wacky world they inhabit.
Like the Blood Gulch Chronicles, some of ARR has not aged well. Some of it is dated in format or style, some of it is problematic and downright offensive. I think that's also a factor in veteran fans anxiously telling their friends that "It gets good later," not just because they don't want their friends to bounce off it early but because they're also kind of embarrassed about the more problematic stuff that is especially prevalent early on (though it needs to be said that neither property has a point where it becomes perfect and free of all previous issues).
With RvB, I always just tried to be honest with people. Yes, the show starts doing some more serious plots later. But it's still a goofy Halo machinima and at heart a pastiche, and that early style of humor does not go away. If you slogged through BGC without so much as a chuckle, I don't think you are going to enjoy the later seasons all that much either. Likewise if you are having no fun in ARR, if the basic structure and vibe of the game are doing nothing for you, if the characters and settings have left you cold, then I don't think getting to Heavensward is going to fix that.
And I can say from personal experience that I've seen more than one person force themselves through this game despite fundamentally disliking the story, or the gameplay, because they wanted full access to the social aspects of the game to hang out with friends, RP partners, etc. Whether it was worth it is up to them to decide, not me. But from an outside perspective, it seemed to me that they spent a whole lot of time not having a good time because someone had promised them a good time at some indeterminate point down the road. (They were also paying a lot of money to not have a good time.)
So, I say forget all that. The promises and apologies from anxious friends should be politely ignored. Just pick it up and see what it's about, and see whether you have a good time.
For the record, I am, overall, excited for RvB Restoration and for the series getting some kind of closure at last. I just have to recognize the fact that with Burnie at the helm, the priority for character development is always going to go like
1. Church
2. Church derivatives
3. the guys on Blue Team
4. everyone else
and I think it's probably not realistic to expect that every character will get a satisfying wrap-up. I certainly am not going to let myself expect that for Carolina. I will go in hoping for, best-case scenario, some enjoyable nonsense, and maybe a few fun moments to write fanfic about. ā
