An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Ryan is up late in the Crew's penthouse, trying pretty desperately to finish some work, but he's worn out. Geoff pops in for a second, and well. Can you blame him? Ryan's just so pretty...
So, I wrote a thing, after not writing things in a very long time....
This was fun to write, and I really hope to expand on this universe sometime soon, but I don’t promise, because last time I did that, Sugar’verse didn’t get updated and still hasn’t been.
Gender-fuck is fun to write.
Ryan wakes up the day after Halloween like it’s any normal day.
He sits up, rubs his eyes and sniffles a little, stretches and yawns, and puts his feet out of the bed.
He feels a bit off balance, but he puts that down to being half aware of existence, and heads to the bathroom.
He shoves his boxers off and turns on the shower.
He walks over to piss, and catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror which makes him nearly choak on air, because his skin has changed colour and there are a large pair of breasts on his chest.
Okay, they aren’t large, but they’re bigger than he’s used to.
He gropes at at where his dick normally is, but that’s gone too, and Ryan’s pretty sure the size of his dick got converted into the size of his boobs, because there is no way he would have them this large otherwise.
His skin--no fur--is a greyish colour, the same colour as his Halloween costume, and he has a pair of fuzzy ears on top of his head; his regular, normal human ears are gone. There’s a white patch on his stomach, covered in the softest fur and he runs a hand, black claws instead of fingernails, down it, and his breath hitches with how good it feels, strangely sensitive.
Luckily, his hair and eyes are the same poop brown as they were before, but his hair is long, like it was back when he was in Panic!, curling over his face and making him look even more feminine, like tits and a vagina didn’t already do that.
His bladder is persistent and he sits down (sits down. How bizarre is that?) to pee, fascinated more by his tits and grey and white fur than anything else.
---
After his shower, he tries eating a piece of cake which Z left in the cupboard for some reason; he can’t remember, and finds that he can’t eat it.
He stares at it and feels sick, and every time he tries to pick it up, he physically can’t.
Ryan puts the container back in the cupboard and returns to his bedroom.
He sits on his bed, stares at nothing and tap tap taps on his leg until his other leg starts jiggling, and then he lets whatever his body wants lead him.
He ends up in the closet. In his closet, not the closet, but it gets embarrassing when he finds his last remaining bandana and his fingers ache to put it on, to wrap it around his forehead and let his curls fall over it.
He walks over to the mirror and ties it around his forehead.
He doesn’t feel sick like he did last time he wore it, he feels a warmth in his belly, like a fire cooled slightly by a bucket of water.
He ends up dressed in his last remaining outfit from when he was in Panic!, and he finds he doesn’t mind anywhere near as much as he did.
---
He ends up at Pete’s for dinner, because Pete is a nosy bastard who just wants details on how meeting Brendon for the first time in around three years went.
But when Ryan turns up it’s not just Pete, his wife and his kids, it’s also three quarters of the deceased My Chem, and any of Decay who happens to live in LA.
Ryan also forgot he has fur.
When Pete answers the door, all wide smiles, “Rossy-boy!” and, “Oh, you’ve got fur.”
Ryan’s kicking himself internally, before instict kicks in and he nearly falls over with the force, that drags him over to kneel by Mikey Way’s feet.
He knows everyone is staring, because everyone is good at that, and he kind of wishes he could die, but when Mikey says, “Hi dude,” Ryan whines, and that’s even more embarrassing than anything he could’ve ever possibly done.
He wants to dig himself a grave and jump in it.
But he can’t do anything, he can’t fight it.
When Gerard puts a hand on Mikey’s arm, Ryan hisses like a snake and bares teeth sharper than he’d noticed they were. Gerard jumps, and manages to simultaneously fascinated and terrified.
Ryan absently notices that when he looks at Mikey his stomach fire burns hottest, but he can barely feel anything in first person.
Mikey puts a hand out and Ryan licks it and rubs his face in it, pushes his face into it, demanding to be pet. When Mikey slides a hand down his face, it’s all tunnel vision Ryan’s running on, and he wants to--he wants.
He doesn’t notice anything but Mikey, doesn’t register the background noise, coughs and snorts.
He just wants and Ryan thinks Mikey realises, because he makes a gesture like he’s going to leave and Ryan has to follow and he barely hears Pete’s distant, “Yeah, um, sure.”
He crawls on all fours out of the room after Mikey.
---
Later, Ryan is horrified by what he did, but his genitals have returned to their original state, and Mikey Way is in his bed, so it’s a win-win situation.
Until he notices the list on his bedside table, under his reading glasses, titled; ‘Rules of Being a Gremlin.’ and number one is ‘Finding a mate’.
Description: I'm so heavy .in your arms, Ryan-centric angst Notes: this is meant to be kind of typo-y. based on heavy in your arms by Florence + the machine this is really short but I guess if people like it I'll make another maybe?? - my love has concrete ,feet my loves an iron ball. wrapped around your. ankles over the water,fall Ryan is the iron ball of their relationship. he's bringing them down, and one day they'll drown, he's sure of it because he can already taste the water in the form of drinks that he pukes up when he goes out just to /forget/ and how is he supposed to stop his boys from going down when he can't even stop himself . he's too heavy and they know it he can see in their eyes how they /know/ he's bringing them to the bottom of the ocean but they're all so perfect and perfectly wonderful and wonderfully perfect that they'd never let him drown alone ,or maybe they're just stupid. love isn't about sucking the oxygen out of their bodies and forcing them to breathe the water in the form of mistaken words that his own type of water was forcing out of him like common sentences. the loving words now gone and all that was left was the damn water. please don't breathe, he thinks. don't breathe my water
