should wolves have antlers?

+ Bringing myself cookies that tickle my own pickle since 2002 +

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

umihoshi replied to your post “Casually adding this post onto here as an incentive to write a Dr...”

sadly, I don't read fanfics, but this idea is BOSS level! you mind me drawing it some time?

Yes, oh my gosh, of course you can draw it! I would love this! /also, sorry I took so long to reply >.>

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

Casually adding this post onto here as an incentive to write a Dr Jekyll + Mr Hyde Platinum Pair AU... eventually. After the Terracotta Arc, which should be mostly done post-NaNo. My friends will whip me if I don't finish at least 8 of the 11 fics in the arc, so after a year's silence there will be fic!

It will be so cool to finally lose my tenipuri virginity!

[riddle-clifford]

Kids In Love

Summary: Pete kind of rushes into things like the four year old he is, and Mikey’s only three, he doesn’t know any better, he just likes flowers and Pete Wentz.

Author: Riddle_Clifford/ryans-adventures-in-space

Rating: G

Dedication: @xmaswayy

Word Count: 1,248

Prompt: Kidfic

Pairing/s: Pete Wentz/Mikey Way

AN: I finished this ages ago but I hadn’t posted it, so I decided this was the perfect Petekey Secret Santa Gift.

Keep reading

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

PSS Fic: You’re Not Sixteen Anymore. Honey, It’s Time to Grow Up

Author: ryans-adventures-in-space

Words: 681

A/N: For @antivamp who has the same name as me and doesn’t care what they get, so here’s part of the currently unpublished Expectations’verse (which is going to be huge. Refer to this post to see spoilers). This is only a snippet of a massive fic about Mikey’s last year at Lifetime Private School (the name is a small reference to TAI...) but there was no way I was going to finish it all in a month, so here’s one scene and the banner. Hope you enjoy!

PS. I’ll dedicate the rest of the fic to you when I finish it.

“Mikey, Mikey, Mikey,” Pete’s whispering isn’t very quiet, but it’s nothing compared to the fucking rocks being hurled at his window. He groans and climbs out of bed, opens his window and throws a shirt down at Pete. It lands on Pete’s head and he’s shocked enough that he actually stops talking. For once. But then he pulls it off, revealing this grin of hate and says, “Come to the pool with me, Mikeyway.”

Mikey’s the sort of person that can’t get back to sleep once he’s awake and it’s literally the bane of his existence, because on nights Pete can’t sleep, he comes around to Mikey’s and throws fucking rocks at his window.

Mikey’s dressed faster than he thought he could be and at the last moment wraps a scarf around his neck, because the dose of cold air he’d gotten from the open window had been too much of a shock to his system that he’d want to brave it without a scarf.

Pete’s brought his bike, so Mikey pulls his own out of the shed, dusts off the seat and then they’re riding down the street together, to the pool by the school.

The pool is further from Pete’s place than Mikey’s, because Pete lives in the same suburbian area that Frank does, over in Somerville, with all the same-same houses and tidy, striped lawns. Mikey, however, lives close to the gated community that houses the school, and it only takes fifteen minutes for them to get there.

The shove their bikes into the bushes across the road and scale the fence with ease. It’s a stone fence, but the builders put the mortar far enough back that it leaves massive gaps for feet with clunky boots like Mikey’s or canvas shoes like Pete’s.

The pool’s across the back field, behind the sports shed and the matching changing rooms. It’s too cold to go swimming anymore, but the pool’s still half full of water and thick stripes of drowned bugs line the edges that don’t have the pool cover shielding them.

Pete climbs the chain-link gate first and he’s over in less than a minute. Mikey climbs next and without even trying he swings his leg over the gate and jumps down in the same place Pete landed. Mikey ends up with ground shock and he nearly falls over with how unbalanced he feels afterwards.

Pete’s already on the ground in front of the changing rooms, feet not reaching the edge of the pool like Mikey’s can. “Hey,” Pete says, “Maybe I’ll try out for the swim team next year; do what your brother didn’t and actually get in the pool.” Mikey laughs shortly and rests his head on Pete’s shoulder, huffs out a content sigh.

“Maybe,” Mikey replies and closes his eyes. It’s around four; the light isn't bright enough to make any difference in how black it is with his eyelids closed. The concrete is warming up under his ass and legs and behind his back.

“Wanna come home with me later?” Mikey can hear the vibrations of Pete’s voice through his shoulder, and he’s so fixated on it that he almost doesn’t realise what Pete said. Mikey shrugs in the ‘yeah, sure’ way that he knows Pete’s accustomed to.

Mikey dozes for a while, long enough that the sun rises and Pete’s shaking him, saying, “C’mon, Mikes, we’ll end up late for school. Mikey, Mikey.” Mikey groans but refrains from slapping Pete’s face just because he woke Mikey up.

Mikey’s unsteady with sleep when he stands up and he’s got an awful cramp in his right knee, but he manages to hobble awkwardly to the gate, where they climb over. Once again, Pete goes first.

Mikey’s bike is underneath Pete’s, so Pete has to pull his out first. They bike home in silence, and Mikey pulls up to his own driveway first. Pete continues down the road, not stopping like he would’ve early last year. Mikey watches him down the street and then shoves his bike clumsily in the shed. He only gets it out for Pete anyway.

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

Masterpost | Part I | Part II

Shut Down and Pose as Positive // Part III - M.O.N.E.Y.

Drink slow, to feed the nose, you know he likes to get blown.

Frank’s first impression of Gerard isn’t one he’s proud of.

Gerard was sprawled out on the couch with a bottle of beer spilled on his chest, and though he was conscious, he wasn’t there enough to do more than wave his hand weakly and turn his head.

Mikey was sick in the toilet bowl and they left as soon as they could.

Whenever Mikey gets sick from seeing Gerard, they just lean against each other and watch the blurry beams of yellow-white light and the occasional stripes of brake light red through the fogged up windscreen and Frank wishes Gerard wasn’t destroying Mikey the way Gerard is destroying himself.

Frank pulls Mikey into his side when Mikey slides into the van and doesn’t talk to him, and Mikey folds into his chest like it doesn’t feel uncomfortable to twist his spine over the hand break and the built-in ashtray between the two front seats.  Frank knows Mikey still remembers the older brother who used to steal his cereal just to be an annoying brother, not because he even liked cereal. The person who used to debate comics and accuracy in movies until the early morning hours.

“He’s started on meth,” Mikey says, breath catching in his throat halfway through, and he chokes out the final words in a sob.

Frank breathes, because it’s worse than he thought, pulls Mikey half onto his lap, and doesn’t protest when his shirt gets damp.

They get drunk after that, and it’s a feel-better method that takes Mikey’s mind off his brother’s addictions and onto whatever else catches his eye.

He’s not sure when it happens, but suddenly they stop talking about Gerard, because it’s like he’s toxic, like he’s a broken nuclear plant, his radiation killing off everything within a hundred miles of him; that’s what he does, what he’s doing to Mikey.

Frank has only met Gerard twice since the first time; the first he was incoherent, trying to say something about the fridge with a frown on his face, and the second he was passed out on the couch with a syringe on the floor and vomit in his hair.

The van is more a home than their own homes now, and Frank realises he hasn’t actually been to his mum’s for tea in weeks.  The car lights they watch through the windows and the smells of alcohol and weed that cling to their clothes and surround the van like a shield are more familiar than their own bedrooms.

Frank didn’t notice until he’d curled up on the back seat next to Mikey and saw Pansy sticking out slightly from under a couple of spare blankets in the boot, her case propped up on the back door and held there by a small pile of clothes, his and Mikey’s. While he can’t remember putting them in there; he can’t remember them not being there either.

He looks at them again before slipping a couple of fingers through one of the bands on Mikey’s wrist, a black paper day pass to some theme park he hasn’t cut off yet, and curls up so his knees fit up against Mikey’s stomach. Mikey’s leg shifts and his foot hits the door lightly just as Frank falls asleep.

Gerard ends up passing out on an elderly neighbour’s porch, and ends up hospitalised. Mikey’s mum stops Mikey from going, even going as far as to call Linda to prevent letting Mikey even think about entering the hospital. Frank has to agree though; once Mikey got in, no one would be able to get him out.

So Mikey and Frank live at Linda’s for the following weeks, sleeping curled up together in Frank’s old double bed and eating side by side on the lumpy couch that is usually Mikey’s sleeping quarters when they stay the night.

When Gerard finally gets released, he moves back in with Donna, and Mikey and Gerard’s apartment is put up for sale.

Frank puts Mikey’s guitar in the boot of the van and his bass in Frank’s wardrobe, along with Frank’s other two guitars. They end up jamming together in the van without plugging in their guitars, and though the sound is quiet and Mikey is pretty shit, it’s nice.

“I auditioned for Pencey,” Mikey says and Frank’s fingers stutter on the strings, stumbling over chords he knows off by heart.

Frank doesn’t actually remember Mikey auditioning. In fact he didn’t even know Mikey had auditioned.

“What for?” Frank says finally, and Mikey looks at him with large eyes from behind his glasses.

Mikey plays the shittiest riff ever known to man and says, “Rhythm,” with a slight grin.

Frank and Mikey smoke up and visit Gerard in the same day, but Gerard doesn’t say anything. He just grins and says, “I’m re-reading these comics, right, and I actually had forgotten some of the dialog. Mikey can you believe—” and Frank knows Gerard can smell it in their clothes, wafting through the air inside Gerard's basement, but he still doesn’t say anything, so maybe he’s not going to stop them.

Frank’s opinion of Gerard just skyrocketed from ‘yeah, okay,’ to ‘best person ever, seriously’. Mikey grins at him like Frank finally understands.

---

Mikey's got green on his elbows and jeans, grass stains from falling over on Linda's front lawn, and he's idly scratching at them. He's successful in only getting a layer of green under his fingernails and there’s a smudge just above his eyebrow from readjusting his hair.

Frank's skin feels tighter than usual now that he's had a shower. He’s only wrapped in a towel, but the air is still so hot and sticky that he doesn’t even bother putting clothes on.

Gerard has a deck of cards and is shuffling them slowly, stumbling and dropping cards onto the table every few seconds. Neither Frank nor Mikey are particularly emotionally invested in card games, but Gerard’s just so fucking ernest that neither of them could refuse when he’d held up the deck with a hopeful smile.

He starts dealing, cards messily thrown on the table in the general direction of Frank and Mikey and neatly piled in front of himself, until there's two abstract piles of seven spread halfway across the table and a perfectly stacked pile on the opposite side.

“What are we playing for?” Frank asks. Maybe he’ll play seriously if there’s a cool reward. Mikey’s separating their cards awkwardly, with his knees up against his chest and his arm stretched over the top of them.

Gerard pulls up a stack of CD’s and says, “Mikey’s Smiths albums,” and Mikey stops splitting the piles, looks up at Gerard for a second, and then literally jumps over the table in a practiced move that Frank didn’t even know he could do. Gerard’s chair goes backwards, hitting the floor with a distinct thud. They’re wrestling awkwardly, but Frank knows Mikey’s going to win.

The cards are sprawled all over the table, discarded, and Frank rounds them up and puts them back in their box. They aren’t going to be used tonight.

Part IV

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

Masterpost | Part I

Shut Down and Pose as Positive // Part II - The City

You wanna find love, then you know where the city is.

The City is where you go if you want to fall in love with a nameless body for a night and leave the next morning with no need for an explanation.

The City’s in an alley in a kind of hidden ‘Castro’ district, not visible from the streets, but just as alive. It’s nowhere near as well-known either, just a collection of back-alley buildings disguised as restaurants and cafés and dance studios in the day. The City is a day-time vegetarian restaurant, going by the name ‘Hot and Ugly’, and owned by a New Yorker who left the City for another one that caters to exploring your sexuality.

It’s five bucks at the door and invite or regular only, because they don’t want people here who aren’t willing to support the establishment, and assholes who are just there to fuck and run, not socialise. Everyone knows everyone; new people are new for around five minutes, and if they’re a fuck and runner, they don’t get re-invited.

There’s a band playing jazz on the stage, audible from every room, in the background as you fuck or get fucked by a friend you don’t even know the name of.

Gabe Saporta roams around the stage, the wall, the bar and then Mikey, but Frank doesn’t care that his best friend is being stolen because he’s got a girl, short and pretty, with bright red lipstick, a short skirt and a tee advertising a band Frank’s never heard of.

They get a room and he accidentally rips her skirt, but she just giggles and says, “At least it’s not the shirt,” and Frank giggles back and goes back to sucking on her thighs as his fingers press into her.

Frank goes to The City twice a month, but Mikey goes twice a week, because he likes fucking and getting fucked, and Frank has no shame in admitting the same.

The next time Frank goes, he picks up a thick, broad shouldered guy, who is the biggest cockslut Frank’s ever met.

Frank fucks him with a dildo while the guy sucks his cock, and he comes on Frank’s face after just being brushed by Frank’s fingers.

Frank grins and runs a finger through the come and sucks it into his mouth, relishing in the needy moan it pulls from the nameless guy.

Mikey and Frank fuck too, when they’re so high they giggle when the come or so drunk they barely remember how to jerk someone off.

It’s one hell of an experience when Mikey accidentally falls out of the van when he grabs onto the door latch just as Frank fucks into him. There’s no one around though, because they’re parked on the third storey of a mall carpark that doesn’t get locked at night, and it’s around three or four in the morning; they don’t check the time. Though they’ve got enough grazes and scrapes that they look like they’ve been mugged, they laugh and curl up together in the back of the van, naked, and, like a couple of teenagers who’ve discovered weed, giggle until they figure out how to sleep.

Frank’s person of choice tonight is a woman taller than him and willowy, but fucks him with a green strap-on, bigger than any cock he’s taken before, and she manages to hit his prostate dead on, first try.

She has faux-leather pants and a black shirt that stretches across her braless chest, her nipple piercings visible through the tight fabric, and after she fucks him, he eats her out and is fascinated by her clit piercing.

She comes with a gasp into the pillow, but stands up immediately afterwards and pulls her clothes on, kissing Frank so thoroughly he feels like he’s been ripped in half and put back together with sellotape and a will strong enough to kill a swarm of zombies dead, before she walks out of the door like she was never even there.

They go to Frank’s mum’s house for tea when they can, and Mikey sleeps in the lounge on the lumpy black sofa-bed and Frank in his upstairs room, with the walls covered in posters and tickets to shows stuck on the inside of his wardrobe doors.

Sometimes Frank goes downstairs to Mikey and blows him on the sofa-bed with his knees on the ornate rug on the floor and Mikey sitting on the edge, holding him steady with fingers tangled in Frank’s hair, but they both prefer it when Mikey goes upstairs and they fuck on Frank’s old double bed, mindful of the creek it makes when someone bounces, because Linda’s in the room across the hallway and they don’t want to wake her up.

They have breakfast in the morning and they both know she knows, but Frank isn’t embarrassed like he would’ve been if the person he’s hooking up with wasn’t his best friend, wasn’t Mikey.

Frank sees her pull Mikey aside after Mikey’s had thirds of the leftover vegetable casserole, and Frank smiles around his maple syrup porridge at his mum when she and Mikey return to table.

She smiles, asks Mikey if he would like some of Frank’s leftover porridge and both Frank and Linda laugh at the face he makes at the prospect of eating porridge made with almond milk.

Frank and Mikey go back to The City, but this time they pick together, and Gabe is a good choice. He grins and looks at them both from his spot against the wall, then calls for a key.

Frank groans as Gabe fucks into him in one go, feels Mikey stroking his back lightly as he sucks Mikey’s cock, and Gabe swears when he notices and fucks Frank faster. Gabe jacks Frank’s cock and Frank’s hand slips a little on Mikey’s thigh, thumb resting on Mikey’s tattoo.

Frank sees Mikey scrunch up his nose and squint a little, and Frank knows he’s close, but it’s Gabe that comes first, biting down on one of Frank’s tattoos.

In the van later, Mikey fucks Frank, and he’s rough, bruising Frank’s thighs and Frank knows he’ll be feeling it tomorrow, but in the now, he thrusts back, groans when Mikey fucks him just right, and comes on the stained backseat.

Mikey comes on Frank’s back and they curl up under a dirty blanket, with a sticky patch that Frank thinks is beer, but can’t remember who did it and how long ago.

He sighs as Mikey tucks his knees up and curls into Frank in a way that shouldn’t be possible with how tall he is, but Frank just wraps himself around Mikey and pulls the blanket up higher.

Part III

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

Not!fic: Bob is a Cheerleader in the I’m Not Okay Universe.

so @iamlamp got ranted at for half an hour (17:43 - 18:17) about my headcanon of Bob Bryar being a cheerleader in the I’m Not Okay Universe, and it turned into this not!fic that I had to post on here and share with everyone. He’s a great dude tho so he didn’t complain. I’m going to put a cut because I went wild on this.

@ryans-adventures-in-space headcanon: bob is a cheerleader in the im not okay universe

@iamlamp Haha

@ryans-adventures-in-space​ no like think abt it

@ryans-adventures-in-space bobs this hulking dude who is a cheerleader and looks after all the girls and if anyone looks at him funny they arent seen ever again and he hangs out with the girls and the croquet team and gets no shit for it bc hes bob bryar

@iamlamp O wow

@iamlamp It makes sense

@ryans-adventures-in-space ikr

@ryans-adventures-in-space oml and bill becketts a drama kid

@ryans-adventures-in-space and he gets teased for it bc theater kids always get shit

@ryans-adventures-in-space but superhero cheerleader bob comes along and is all *grunt* and then bills his fucking blushing bride and wow like bill doesnt even know how that happened

@ryans-adventures-in-space and bobs his manly protector and the meaning of awesome and offers protection to the theater kids by association

@ryans-adventures-in-space so cheerleader bob is basically the saviour of everyonehes a hero in the school

@ryans-adventures-in-space and yet he doesnt know it

@ryans-adventures-in-space ray finally gets a gf

@ryans-adventures-in-space bc bob has cheerleader friends

@ryans-adventures-in-space and bob doesnt even notice ray sticking 'thank you ((((:'s in his backpack and the fact that ray even has a gf bc hes just too cool

@ryans-adventures-in-space hes not even the kid with the nicest clothes

@ryans-adventures-in-space but after new kid derek disappeared after slapping a cheerleaders ass bob became instant kinghes cool

@ryans-adventures-in-space untouchable by the peasants below him

@ryans-adventures-in-space and yet he doesnt even know the football team cowering behind open lockers in the hallways

@ryans-adventures-in-space or the soccer team trying to meld with the walls

@ryans-adventures-in-space or the way the lacrosse team dont even speak around him

@ryans-adventures-in-space and hes always crowded by cheerleaders

@ryans-adventures-in-space and walks down the hallways with frank on his shoulders

@ryans-adventures-in-space and bill under an arm

@ryans-adventures-in-space and oml

@ryans-adventures-in-space adn when he finds out the band kids are getting shit he joins band and balances it with cheerleading

@ryans-adventures-in-space and patrick may fall in love a little bit

@ryans-adventures-in-space but its tiny freshman ryan ross who basically becomes bobs duckling

@ryans-adventures-in-space see bobs got a boyfriend and is always surrounded by cheerleaders and is *-* in ryans eyes

@ryans-adventures-in-space and ryan basically just appears at bobs feet one day and says that the school newspaper wont let him on and bam ross is bobs ducking and is protected from all the bad in the world

@ryans-adventures-in-space and hes surrounded all the time by everyone

@ryans-adventures-in-space but he maintains a fair and equal friendship with everyone

@ryans-adventures-in-space and hangs out with them outside of school even though he has almost no time bc cheerleading is time consuming and hes part of the school band as well

@ryans-adventures-in-space and theres this diner everyone goes to after games and he just walks in there with his small army and the person behind the counter is new kid derek and everyones like "oh shitttttt"and bobs like "hey" and derek faints

@ryans-adventures-in-space and the cheerleader climbs on bob and hugs him really hard but hes used to affection so he hugs back

@ryans-adventures-in-space and its the cutest thing and all the cheerleaders are all "ahh" and gerards taking bad photos and franks sitting on bobs shoulders like a fucking parrot and mikeys playing around with the jukebox and rays making out w his cheerleader gf and ryan ross and william beckett are tucked under bobs arms and hes fucking cool okay

@ryans-adventures-in-space BUT hes got his bp era emo fringe k

@ryans-adventures-in-space like he looks fucking cool with an emo fringe

@ryans-adventures-in-space unlike pete wentz the soccer guy bc hes /emo/ unlike awesome bob

@iamlamp Haha

@ryans-adventures-in-space like cant u believe this

@ryans-adventures-in-space its the best thing

@iamlamp It's p good

@ryans-adventures-in-space like oml while the croquet team are tryna b hardcore af and getting beaten up theres just this high school god that is bob bryar

@iamlamp Haha

if any formatting is messed up on this, i’m sorry because I spent like three minutes doing the main text. also there will be spelling errors on here and I don’t really care because that’s how it was spelt originally. if you can make sense of this and feel like flailing about it, flick me an ask.

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

Masterpost

Shut Down and Pose as Positive // Part I - The 1975

Midnight. Car lights.

Frank first got the van when he was seventeen.

Just before handing over the key, his mother had sat him down and made him promise he wouldn’t crash it. “If you’re serious about this band thing,” Linda said, “I want you to have it. I haven’t driven it in years.”

The van is one of the best things that’s ever happened to Frank, even though the band thing didn’t work out as Frank had planned.

It’s big enough to fit three people, at least, in each row and sometimes Frank and Mikey Way smoke up with the middle and back rows’ seats down and the headrests off, sitting in the boot. They lay down afterwards and eat until they can’t move and then fall asleep, Frank usually sprawled out over as much of Mikey as he can.

Something they do sometimes is drive around Jersey; watching the sleeping state and just finding a place to see hurried cars on highways.

The beams of light, both yellow and red, catch their eyes as they lounge around, listening to whatever tapes they have mostly the Stones.

They sometimes do drugs harder than weed, but they never drive anywhere when they’ve got coke lines on the dash, parked in a rest stop Frank’s band stayed at for a couple of nights while they played shows in three separate clubs and tried to be edgy.

Now Frank’s got more tattoos and piercings he actually looks edgy, but he’d never tell his younger self that at risk of being punched in the nose.

Mikey’s got a tattoo as well, a tiny key on his inner thigh, hidden from everyone’s prying eyes, and shaped like the van key, and Frank grins every time he’s between Mikey’s thighs and sucks it into his mouth. When he lets it go, the skin is around it is almost as dark as the black of the tattoo.

They have a stash of alcohol in the back, and every week they contribute another six-pack or a bottle of tequila, and every week they deplete their stash of the cheap, warm alcohol that looks and tastes like piss.

Frank’s a little ashamed he can even get drunk off the beer, but Mikey can too, so he doesn’t take it too personally when he gets the hiccups and grins when Mikey belches and scratches his nose.

They once got drunk and stoned early on, before even leaving Mikey’s mum’s driveway, and they almost crash the van, but she made it out alive with only a thin scratch where a branch got a bit more generous with its friendly groping.

They tend not to remember that day as the day they had an awesome high.

The van though, she hangs around and both Mikey and Frank appreciate it more than they know they do.

Part II

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

Shut Down and Pose as Positive Masterpost

I’ve been meaning to post this for a while. It’s based off the songs from The 1975′s self titled album, which makes me think of driving through the city at night-time, with the stark black shadows of tree branches and beams of soft yellow streetlights.

Title: Shut Down and Pose as Positive

Author: ryans-adventures-in-space

Words: ---

Summary: What happens in the van, stays in the van.

Please note: I am quite busy right now (with the Expectations’verse) and I’ve posted the chapters of SDPP that I’ve finished, but more might not be up for a while. Thanks for being patient =^-^=.

Part I - The 1975 | 474 | A

Midnight. Car lights.

Part II - The City | 1114 | Z

You wanna find love, then you know where The City is.

Part III - M.O.N.E.Y | 1181 | A

Drink slow, to feed the nose, you know he likes to get blown.

Part IV - Chocolate

Oh, my car smells like chocolate.

Part V - Sex

And this is how it starts.

Part VI - Talk!

Phone calls to back home, delayed.

Part VII - An Encounter

An Encounter.

Part VIII - Heart Out

We’re watching the television with no sound.

Part IX - Settle Down

Your words, my mouth.

Part X - Robbers

Now everybody’s dead.

Part XI - Girls

She could be what you need. But she’s seventeen.

Part XII - 12

12

Part XIII - She Way Out

Tension’s overflowing.

Part XIV - Menswear

She’s dressed in white and putting off crying.

Part XV - Pressure

Overdramatic, automatic.

Part XVI - Is There Somebody Who Can Watch You

I stop by, just to wash my clothes.

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

The Short Story of the Life of a Lemon

Title: The Short Story of the Life of a Lemon

Author: ryans-adventures-in-space

Words: 185

A/N: This is a birthday gift for Amanda, who wanted a love story between her and a lemon.

This tragedy is the result, sorry Amanda.

I apologise in advance.

Amanda and Lemon grew up together.

When Lemon started forming on the tree in her back yard, she was by its side, patiently waiting for it to grow.

No one else understood.

Amanda hated when her friends asked to meet her true love and laughed at the lemon that was presented to them.

Lemon and her lived a very secure life in her parent’s attic. They laughed at the same jokes and liked the same music.

But this all changed when Lemon fell ill.

Amanda stayed by its bedside everyday, her hair greasy and skin pallid as she waited anxiously for her love to get well.

It happened seemingly overnight.

Lemon was dead.

She didn’t come to terms with it until the funeral the next day, when Lemon was buried under the tree of its birth by Amanda’s insistence after its death previously.

She cried for the first time since its death, and she felt the gazes of her parents on her back as she knelt by his grave and cried.

By the next day, she had a human partner and she’d forgotten about Lemon.

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

The Rules of Being a Gremlin

Title: The Rules of Being a Gremlin

Author: ryans-adventures-in-space

Words: 434

A/N: You can thank @iamlamp for this as well.

This was fun to write, and I really hope to expand on this universe sometime soon, but I don’t promise, because last time I did that, Sugar’verse didn’t get updated and still hasn’t been.

Gender-fuck is fun to write.

Ryan wakes up the day after Halloween like it’s any normal day.

He sits up, rubs his eyes and sniffles a little, stretches and yawns, and puts his feet out of the bed.

He feels a bit off balance, but he puts that down to being half aware of existence, and heads to the bathroom.

He shoves his boxers off and turns on the shower.

He walks over to piss, and catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror which makes him nearly choak on air, because his skin has changed colour and there are a large pair of breasts on his chest.

Okay, they aren’t large, but they’re bigger than he’s used to.

He gropes at at where his dick normally is, but that’s gone too, and Ryan’s pretty sure the size of his dick got converted into the size of his boobs, because there is no way he would have them this large otherwise.

His skin--no fur--is a greyish colour, the same colour as his Halloween costume, and he has a pair of fuzzy ears on top of his head; his regular, normal human ears are gone. There’s a white patch on his stomach, covered in the softest fur and he runs a hand, black claws instead of fingernails, down it, and his breath hitches with how good it feels, strangely sensitive.

Luckily, his hair and eyes are the same poop brown as they were before, but his hair is long, like it was back when he was in Panic!, curling over his face and making him look even more feminine, like tits and a vagina didn’t already do that.

His bladder is persistent and he sits down (sits down. How bizarre is that?) to pee, fascinated more by his tits and grey and white fur than anything else.

---

After his shower, he tries eating a piece of cake which Z left in the cupboard for some reason; he can’t remember, and finds that he can’t eat it.

He stares at it and feels sick, and every time he tries to pick it up, he physically can’t.

Ryan puts the container back in the cupboard and returns to his bedroom.

He sits on his bed, stares at nothing and tap tap taps on his leg until his other leg starts jiggling, and then he lets whatever his body wants lead him.

He ends up in the closet. In his closet, not the closet, but it gets embarrassing when he finds his last remaining bandana and his fingers ache to put it on, to wrap it around his forehead and let his curls fall over it.

He walks over to the mirror and ties it around his forehead.

He doesn’t feel sick like he did last time he wore it, he feels a warmth in his belly, like a fire cooled slightly by a bucket of water.

He ends up dressed in his last remaining outfit from when he was in Panic!, and he finds he doesn’t mind anywhere near as much as he did.

---

He ends up at Pete’s for dinner, because Pete is a nosy bastard who just wants details on how meeting Brendon for the first time in around three years went.

But when Ryan turns up it’s not just Pete, his wife and his kids, it’s also three quarters of the deceased My Chem, and any of Decay who happens to live in LA.

Ryan also forgot he has fur.

When Pete answers the door, all wide smiles, “Rossy-boy!” and, “Oh, you’ve got fur.”

Ryan’s kicking himself internally, before instict kicks in and he nearly falls over with the force, that drags him over to kneel by Mikey Way’s feet.

He knows everyone is staring, because everyone is good at that, and he kind of wishes he could die, but when Mikey says, “Hi dude,” Ryan whines, and that’s even more embarrassing than anything he could’ve ever possibly done.

He wants to dig himself a grave and jump in it.

But he can’t do anything, he can’t fight it.

When Gerard puts a hand on Mikey’s arm, Ryan hisses like a snake and bares teeth sharper than he’d noticed they were. Gerard jumps, and manages to simultaneously fascinated and terrified.

Ryan absently notices that when he looks at Mikey his stomach fire burns hottest, but he can barely feel anything in first person.

Mikey puts a hand out and Ryan licks it and rubs his face in it, pushes his face into it, demanding to be pet. When Mikey slides a hand down his face, it’s all tunnel vision Ryan’s running on, and he wants to--he wants.

He doesn’t notice anything but Mikey, doesn’t register the background noise, coughs and snorts.

He just wants and Ryan thinks Mikey realises, because he makes a gesture like he’s going to leave and Ryan has to follow and he barely hears Pete’s distant, “Yeah, um, sure.”

He crawls on all fours out of the room after Mikey.

---

Later, Ryan is horrified by what he did, but his genitals have returned to their original state, and Mikey Way is in his bed, so it’s a win-win situation.

Until he notices the list on his bedside table, under his reading glasses, titled; ‘Rules of Being a Gremlin.’ and number one is ‘Finding a mate’.

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

A Better Version of the Titanic, with a Hint of Bob

Title: A Better Version of the Titanic, with a Hint of Bob

Author: ryans-adventures-in-space

Words: 808

A/N: This was supposed to be a drabble for @iamlamp with the prompt ‘On a cruise!Frank saves Shipwrecked!Gerard’, but turned into this one-shot.

I have no regrets.

There was a drowning guy, and no one seemed inclined to help him.

“He’s drowning,” Frank stressed the last word, but the manager just repeated for the same sentence again. It was driving Frank fucking insane.

“Yes, well, he obviously isn’t our concern, because he is offboard.” Frank wanted to punch the manager, but instead stood up and left, slamming the door behind him for good measure.

He’d fucking go rescue drowning dude by himself.

---

He got Bob to hold the rope, because Bob was a strong guy and let Frank do crazy shit without even batting an eyelid (unlike Ray. Ray was repressing Frank’s awesomeness).

The manager was fucking stupid anyway. Frank didn’t mind stealing from him.

Frank tied a shitty makeshift harness around his torso and climbed over the railing. He abseiled down the side of the cruise ship, feet hitting the side only twice before he was hovering above the water and signalling Bob to stop lowering him.

Bob lowered him a little more until Frank’s ass was in the water, because Bob was an asshole.

“Hey Jack,” Frank yelled, holding out a hand, and drowning dude looked up from the wooden plank he was floating on, luckily wearing a lifejacket.

“Rose,” drowning dude who wasn’t actually drowning replied, and doggy paddled over to Frank extremely slowly.

He grabbed Frank’s offered hand and pulled himself closer, and Frank winced a little.

“Rose, thank fuck you saved me,” drowning dude who wasn’t actually drowning said, “How are we gonna get up?”

“Bobby, fair lass, pull us up!” Frank shouted and he could see Bob’s hand stick out over the railing, middle finger up. Frank grinned. “He’s got, like, a fucking winch or something. It’s strong anyway.”

Drowning dude who wasn’t actually drowning nodded, wet hair flicking Frank in the face.

Bob winched them up slowly, and drowning dude nearly slipped at one point, when his fingers couldn’t grasp onto Frank’s makeshift harness properly, and Frank’s heart was in his throat the rest of the way up.

The made it up to the railing without another slip up and they both climbed over the railing with no injuries, except for a long scratch down drowning dude’s face, but that had been there when Frank had first seen him.

“So Jack, what’s your real name?” Frank asked, winding up the rope which was previously his harness and handing it off to Bob, who, if caught, was too imposing to do anything about anyway. Frank was pretty sure Bob had had enough Frank for today, so Frank made a mental note to wake Bob up in the morning with a big smooch on the lips. Bob’s reaction was always hilarious.

“Um, my name, right, uh, Gerard,” previously drowning dude said his name like he’d forgotten it, and Frank wanted to laugh, and if it wasn’t for the pained look on Gerard’s face, he probably would’ve.

“Frank.”

---

Frank took Gerard to Ray’s room, where Ray was reading a book. Ray practically dove off the bed the moment Gerard walked through the door and wrapped Gerard in a massive hug.

“Lemme get you some clothes dude, you’re shivering,” Ray pulled away and bent over to pull his suitcase up off the floor.

Frank wolf whistled and said, “Damn Toro, shake that booty,” and giggled when Gerard mimed thrusting. Ray shook his ass and Frank snorted.

“Change,” Ray said, holding out a pair of jeans and a shirt Frank was sure Ray had never even worn once.

Ray pulled Frank out of the room, and Gerard waved before Ray closed the door.

Frank turned on Ray the second the door was shut. “Details.”

---

It was a couple of days later, and the manager hadn’t even noticed the extra dude onboard. Frank was taking full advantage of this, by getting Gerard to pose as him while Frank hid under one of the tables.

Frank and Gerard didn’t even look alike.

Strangely enough, it was the manager’s assistant who found them out first and told them to stop, not because he was going to kick Gerard offboard, but because; “Lacey’s a rat bastard, don’t trust that dick within an inch of your life.”

Beckett was a strange guy.

---

They were lounging on the deck when Frank finally asked it.

“So you and Toro?” Frank questioned, because it usually is a good idea to make sure you make sure your second best friend isn’t dating a hot guy you want to make a move on first.

“Yeah,” Gerard said, and Frank almost drooped like a wilted flower, “In high school.”

“Oh,” Frank replied, but then, “Oh.”

Gerard raised an eyebrow at Frank, and slid off his chair like a slippery thing, in a move smoother than anything Frank had ever see him do, and headed towards the stairs.

Frank grinned, grabbed his beer, and followed.

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

Untitled 8

Title: Untitled 8

Author: ryans-adventures-in-space

Words: 224

A/N: You can thank @sexyendscreenblobfish for this. She wanted thunderstorms and fluff and I was like “What if...”

Okay that basically happens every time, but enjoy some gen Black sis comfort.

It was embarrassing to be anything less than dignified, but at the first crack of thunder, Narcissa screamed.

Bella would make fun of her in the morning, but Andy wouldn’t do such a thing, so she slipped out of bed and ran down the hall to Andy’s room.

The bedside lamp was on, and Andy was sitting up, reading with her glasses perched high up her nose.

The door creaked when Narcissa pushed it open further but then a whip of thunder cracked across the sky and she screamed again.

Andy put a bookmark in her book, slid it under her pillow and held out her arms, which Narcissa ran over to. She buried her face in her big sister’s shoulder and let Andy maneuver her into the bed awkwardly.

When Andy finished arranging Narcissa to her liking, she said, “Are you scared of thunderstorms?”

Narcissa nodded, while Andy hugged her closer.

“Well, did you know that the thunder is just giants in the sky playing marbles?”

Even though Narcissa didn’t entirely believe it, she clung to it, because it was too absurd to dismiss. She shook her head.

“It is. They use boulders instead of regular marbles, and that’s why it’s so loud.”

Narcissa thought it was kind of funny, but didn’t comment, and fell asleep to Andy’s soothing hand in her hair.

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

Untitled 7

Title: Untitled 7

Author: ryans-adventures-in-space

Words: 312

A/N: Sorry this is posted later than the other ones, but my computer actually died.

The prompt for this was ‘Trading Pokemon Cards on a Train’... and this was birthed from my imagination. Thanks Caleb.

The words echo in Gerard’s ears when he opens the door.

And the he freezes. There are giants in this car. Tall giants that Gerard does definitely not want to be around.

“Um sorry,” Gerard says, waving the hand with the cards in it, “I’ll just, uh, go--”

He thinks of Frank’s sentence; ‘It’ll be fun, Gee,’ and drops his cards as he’s pulled forward right into Tall Guy Number One’s chest, who slides a hand down Gerard’s back and pinches his butt.

Gerard dies inside.

“Holy fuck dude, you have some rare shit,” Tall Guy Number Three says, and Tall Guy Number Two stretches out his legs and pats his lap. One lets go of Gerard and sits on Two’s lap, and Gerard instantly dives on his cards, getting them away from Three and holding them protectively to his chest.

“Dude, I’m not going to damage them.” Three holds his hands up, “But you collect right?” Gerard nods, he’s been collecting since ‘98. “I have a first edition Charizard,” Gerard salivates, “and I wanted to give it to someone because I no longer collect, but none of my shitty friends collect Pokemon cards so,” Three opens his suitcase, good idea bringing it with him, someone might’ve broken into his house to get it, and Gerard drools a little when he sees it’s still unopened, “Here.”

Three just gave him a mint condition first edition Charizard and holy fuck, holy motherfucking fuck.

“I’m Travis, and that,” he points at One, “Is William, and behind him is Gabe,” Three--Travie says, and Gerard dies a little, but croaks a small sound.

Gerard coughs to clear his throat and says, “I’m Gerard.”

William and Gabe clap and Travis takes Gerard’s Pokemon cards and sits them on the table. He pats the space next to him and says, “So why did you come in here anyway?”

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

Untitled 6

Title: Untitled 6

Author: ryans-adventures-in-space

Words: 434

A/N: So, this prompt “tattooing each other” was awesome. @sexyendscreenblobfish thanks for this because Pete/Mikey ftw.

Also, a petition to call the Pete/Mikey ship the S.S Green Tea Kit Kats. I bags Official Animal Adopter.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Pete thinks this is a fucking great idea. The best fucking idea he’s had all year.

“It’s the best fucking idea I’ve had all year,” Pete says and Mikey shrugs.

“Okay, so… where is it going?” Mikey asks, and Pete wants to hug him.

Pete points to his hip and Mikey shrugs again.

“Okay.”

---

Pete looks at the ground, and then up and Mikey. Mikey is biting his lip and smiling slightly over on the couch, and then he holds one of Bob’s car mags and about three of Frank’s skin mags. Pete really wants to go over there and laugh at the models.

“I can’t believe you,” Patrick’s saying, and “Pete, I’m fucking--this was stupid. Why the fuck did you get ‘Mikey Fucking Way’ tattooed on your hip?”

Patrick’s scarily red, so Pete just says, “No one will see it, promise.”

And Patrick waves his hand dismissively, so Pete jumps onto the couch next to Mikey and curls into his side.

There’s a woman standing beside a car with an unnaturally thin waist and a wonky leg.

Pete almost dies laughing.

---

They’re topping and tailing in Mikey’s bunk when Mikey says, “You should tattoo me.”

And Pete sits up really fast and forgets there is no room and hits his head on the bottom of Bob’s bunk.

“Ah, fuck.” He says, and when he’s got a reasonably clean tee-shirt of Frank’s pressed against his bleeding forehead, “A tattoo of what?”

Mikey smiles and says, “Guess.”

---

Mikey’s tattoo is seen first because of those ridiculously tight shirts he wears, and next moment every LiveJournal blog is posting about it and that strangely high quality photo of Mikey’s hip is circulating the internet.

Pete’s is seen when he and Mikey go to a waterpark and they meet a fan. She coos over their matching tattoos and gets a picture with Pete, whereas Mikey just signs her shirt. She gives Pete her LJ URL and leaves.

It’s on her LJ within a day, the photo, and she states that they had matching tattoos.

They both shrug because it’s not like it wasn’t going to get out.

---

At the end of the summer, Pete and Mikey take a photo of their tattoos and post them on their respective Myspace’s.

They also take of photo together, when they are both shirtless and rumpled from sleeping, and Mikey’s got an arm around Pete’s shoulders and Pete’s got an arm around Mikey’s waist, but this one they don’t put on the internet.

They instead keep it as a reminder of their summer.

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

Untitled 5

Title: Untitled 5

Author: ryans-adventures-in-space

Words: 233

A/N: For the prompt from Caleb; “This was how we kept warm in the military”, because James/Regulus makes my heart swell and this prompt gave me an excuse to write it.

I feel like if James didn’t shove his hands up Reggie’s sweater Reggie would’ve said; “You were never in the military.” Really flat and blunt and James would’ve laughed.

Regulus looks up when James bounces into his room, because while James bounces alot, he doesn’t just bounce into Regulus’ room.

And then he bounces right onto Regulus’ bed and wraps him in a massive bear hug, arms around Regulus’ neck and ankles hooked around his thighs.

Regulus stays as still as he can, in order not to provoke James Potter.

But then James is whispering against his neck and Regulus contains a full body shiver.

“What?” Regulus says, but it comes out embarrassingly breathy, and he wants to curl in into a ball and die.

Regulus’ book is digging into his spine and he’s thinking of ways to remove it when James says; “This is how we stayed warm in the military,” and shoves his hands under Regulus’ woolen sweater and grazes a nipple.

Regulus’ hips stutter slightly, but James must’ve noticed, because he’s grinning this shark grin and then James’ lips are on his and--

It’s Regulus’ first kiss.

James’ lips are warm and chapped, and James bites Regulus’ lip hard enough to draw blood.

“Prongs!” Sirius yells from down down the hall, and Walburga is screaming at Sirius for yelling when James crawls off Regulus and walks out the door without a backwards glance.

Regulus wipes his lip and Scourgify’s his hand, fixes his sweater and pulls his book out from behind him, opening it back up onto page 758.

[ryans-adventures-in-space]

Untitled 4

Title: Untitled 4

Author: ryans-adventures-in-space

Words: 222

AN: This one was a really nice one to write after the Trump one, with the prompt “Brendon Urie + Cake”, so thanks @sexyendscreenblobfish for that.

“Ryan, I found a cake,” Brendon says, because he found a cake and Ryan should know too because they are friends and Brendon tells his friends everything. Also because Ryan is the only one on the bus and Brendon is bored.

But all Ryan says is, “Cool,” and continues reading his fucking lame harlequin novel from Pete.

“Dude, I found a cake, with like, icing and shit.” Ryan isn’t getting it, Brendon found a fucking cake that wasn’t a joke from Gabe Saporta or Bill Beckett. Or Frank Iero.

“Yeah, Bren, that’s awesome and all, but I’m fucking busy right now, okay?” Ryan says, and Brendon’s a little upset by that blatant dismissal, but leaves anyway.

Maybe Ryland and Alex will cheer him up.

---

Alex and Ryland do not cheer him up.

In fact, the do the complete opposite, because they take his cake and eat it and don’t give him any.

He sighs dejectedly and stumbles right into Jonny Walker, TAI…’s roadie, and Jon looks at him once and then Brendon’s getting one of the fabled Jonny Walker hugs (well, Bill called it fabled, but Brendon’s not sure ‘fabled’ is the right word) and he melts like the tiniest bit because wow, Jon’s arms are like, the best thing since Spencer Smith and he doesn’t feel bad about his cake anymore.