#ryanholt

[nategardiner-blog]

While time seemed to be only pushing the two of them apart, Nate wanted to get back with Ryan. He wasn’t even sure where the two of them actually stood as far as being together or not was. And, after Easter, things hadn’t gone over too well with him somehow being overcome with feelings for Bliss while also simultaneously trying to make things better with Ryan again. He was certainly in the pit, but he wasn’t sure how he was going to explain that away, especially seeing that he knew he had no feelings about Bliss when he wasn’t around her. There were only the lingering memories of what he felt like when he was near her. Still, Ryan was the only girl in his line of vision and the only one he wanted. He just needed some clarification on where things were headed. “I think there are a few things that we should talk about.” He prompted after all their time spent apart. “About us Ry.” He muttered much softer as he looked at her, the desire consuming him with lust.

@plcyswithfire

[axeltxrner]

Seeing Ryan wasn’t a usual occurrence, so much so because he himself really didn’t want to admit to himself that he failed as a parent to her. He had never been there for her, and seeing her every time only reminded him of that. Avoiding her was in his best nature, but living in Rosendale was almost like living in a small personal hell, where he was bound to run into her every now and then. He hadn’t even told his wife about Ryan just yet, mostly because he was worried how she’d react. Avoiding her wasn’t always an option though, and he was man enough to approach her this time. “Ryan. Hey...” He wanted to so much call her sweetheart, wondering that if he had been there this whole time, what his nickname for his daughter would actually be. His lips thinned as a brief color filled in his cheeks. “How are you doing? I don’t think I’ve...seen you since...in a while.”

@plcyswithfire

[nategardiner-blog]

With tensions on the rise, and things going to shit faster than he could run, Nate had been holing himself up, being less open than the people around him were used to, and even acting a little more volatile, as he had been dealing with the stress of all that the Institute brought upon the town. He wanted more than anything to flee to safety, but he knew that wasn’t plausible. There were too many people he cared about that would still be stuck in this place. The stress was getting to him, as he plopped into the couch and ran his fingers through his hair. “For the last time, I’m just stressed out Ryan.” He tried, his last ounce of patience having left him, as he was already quick in hot-headedness.

@plcyswithfire

[nategardiner-blog]

He was going to make every moment count, and though they had planned the date just earlier that day, Nate hadn’t stopped thinking about it, trying to get every last detail just right. With flowers in his hand, he trekked to her place at quite the pace before finally coming to a normal speed when he got close. He felt the nerves come, flooding his senses as he began the approach to her door. His heart raced, thumping out of his chest and leaving him beyond anxious, though between everything they had already gone through, it just felt out of place. They had already kissed on multiple occasions and it all felt right before, why were things so different now? He looked down at himself as he stopped at the door, his hand hovering before finally he gathered his own courage to knock swiftly. “You got this Nate.” He whispered to himself, lifting his head, his smile growing as he waited for the door to open and reveal the beauty he already knew was inside.

@plcyswithfire

[nategardiner-blog]

📲 | ryan & nate

Nate: I fucked up. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I said to you and everything I didn't say to you. And, I'm not expecting you to forgive me for the things I did, but I couldn't live with myself if I let you keep thinking that you aren't good enough for me. I want you to know that you are more than enough and you've always been enough.

[nategardiner-blog]

22. — tomorrow {from Ryan}

Nate knew he had feelings for Ryan, and he also knew that he had had feelings for other girls in the past. Still, sometimes it just felt like all of those feelings were overwhelming. Like, he couldn’t control his own emotions towards people, becoming entirely too attached too quickly for his own good. He wanted to tell Ryan that he had tried to have another relationship right before he starting going out with her, and while things did not end up happening, Ryan wasn’t some second choice. It was just how the timing all played out. Nate wanted to let her into his world and let her experience everything there was about him, but he was trying to take things slower, for her. It was all in his timing and he knew that was a big part of why things never seemed to work out in the past for him. He wanted to tell her very much everything he felt for her, and yet, he had to stop himself so as to not move too quickly. Instead, he waited. There was always tomorrow, despite wanting so badly to live in today. 

@plcyswithfire