little lion man

40 // axel turner // the loser // replication (of self)

[axeltxrner]

kendallharrington:

Kendall hadn’t thought in a million years that she’d be able to sit down and have a normal conversation with him, but that’s exactly what she wanted now. Running into to him changed how she felt, knowing she wasn’t the same person as she had been when they were together. She just wanted to be friends with him, still feeling that same connection as when they first met, without the sexual bits thrown in. “I’d like that,” she smiled, getting comfortable in the seat next to him. “That’s really great to hear. You’ve finally settled down,” she teased, chuckling. “I’ve been good too. I…just moved in with my boyfriend.”

It seemed like things between them had finally seemed to calm down, or maybe Axel finally had a better grasp on who he was and what he could do, and instead of abusing the trust between him and his wife, he could actually start respecting her and staying loyal to her. After thinking it through, he nodded towards Kendall, missing her in a way that old friends would miss each other. It had been quite some time. “Yeah. I didn’t think it was possible. And there’s still some rowdy guy in here, but...I’ve been finding better ways to...uh...you know, spend my spare time.” He uttered with a short chuckle. His look glanced in her direction and a smile pulled at his face. “No shit. You’re settling down too Kendall! Who would have guessed it?”

[axeltxrner]

thevixenspy:

“Only as kind as I want to be,” she responded. Rosalie noticed his glance towards her. It didn’t do much to inflate her ego, but it did give her a sense of satisfaction. Perhaps if he weren’t married things would be going very differently. Perhaps they still would. “You’re the one with the keys. It’s over on main street. Bright neon blue sign. Can’t miss it.”

“Well, then I’ll take your kindness with a grain of salt then.” He offered casually, though falling into a bit of a chuckle before he finally managed to get his car back into drive to get them somewhere. “Main Street it is. You’re gonna have to teach me how to hookah. Or...is it just called smoking? Smoking hookah?” Axel’s laughter grew before he headed down the street, towards the nightlife scene that he had fought so hard to stay away from for so long.

[axeltxrner]

kendallharrington:

Kendall was happy with Evan, and would never do anything to mess that up. But, she couldn’t deny that there was a bit of nostalgia from seeing him. They had fun when they were together, and she had developed feelings before she knew about his wife. Hopefully, things had changed since the last time she saw him. She chuckled at this praise, raising her own cup before staring down at the seat. Her eyes went back to this, shaking her head slowly. “Not really, I can stay for a little bit.” Kendall sat down next to him, leaning her elbows against the table before speaking again. “So…how have you been?”

There was tension in seeing Kendall, and while he did wish they could have seen each other under different circumstances, he also enjoyed just having her around. She was smart, witty, sarcastic, and above all, someone Axel felt like he could relate to, even on the most basal level that he met her under. And, while before the relationship was entirely sexual, it seemed like that had gotten past that. “We can catch up at the very least.” He offered after a moment. “I’ve been doing well. A lot better than...well, when I last saw you. I’ve cleaned up my act. It was time for me to figure things out I guess.”

[axeltxrner]

kendallharrington:

Kendall smiled up at him, a bit of nostalgia coming back to her as she took him in. “Hey, Axel, she said softly, still a bit sad how everything had ended. It had lead to something good for her, but she wished it could have ended more positively. “Well, there were some good moments that happened here. Plus, they have good coffee, and I don’t think either of us can pass that up.”

She was good, and she was certainly beautiful. Axel knew that and knew her intimately, seeing a side to her that he had never seen in anyone. Her flexibility making for a couple of fun runs. Still, Axel couldn’t get involved with her, couldn’t get involved with anybody else. He loved his wife. But he also tried to rationalize how to keep Kendall in his life, because she did have something about her that he enjoyed being around. “To drinking coffee.” He raised up his own mug with a short smirk, using his free hand to pat at the empty seat next to him, offering it up to her. “You in a rush to get somewhere?”

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thevixenspy:

“I suppose you’re right. I guess I would be jealous of any woman that talked to my husband if he were as attractive as you.” There was no harm in flirting, right? Rosalie could hear Fleur’s voice in the back of her head though, telling her to run and stop being so stupid. “I think I’ll leave that up to you. I tend to be very…flexible when it comes to making decisions.”

Axel felt a light heat drift onto his cheeks as he chuckled away. “You’re far too kind.” He tried, with a decent glance over in her direction. She certainly was very attractive herself, but Axel knew better. He could look, but boy, he could not touch, because he did not know how to stop himself. Still, he felt it in his body, the attraction of want and desire. “Atta girl. That’s the kind of attitude I like to hear.” He voiced back, before clearing his throat. “Hookah bar it is sweetheart.”

[axeltxrner]

kendallharrington:

This coffee shop was the least crowded compared to the others she had passed on her way to work. It was also one she tended to avoid after what had happened last time. Now though, when she noticed the familiar face, Kendall didn’t get the same feeling she once had. “How is it every time I come in here we always end up running into each other?”

@axeltxrner

The shop held a special place in his heart, though for all the wrong reasons. Maybe he shouldn’t have been holding onto that past, but there was just something too reminiscent that he enjoyed. He never expected to see her again after all. “Kendall?” His eyes had to be deceiving him. “You know...something tells me that maybe we both just come here too often.”

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mothermandy:

In hindsight, it was handled in the worst way possible. Her postpartum depression had been worse than it should have been, but then again–she had underlying issues she never resolved. Depression from such a young age had rotted away at her, but no one could save her and she never knew she needed to be. So when she gave birth, she fell so far and no one could save her. Instead of trying to help his wife, even getting her help, he left her alone and while she knew he was only think of Pearl–had he not loved her enough to try to save her too or was she just a lost cause? She proved him wrong in the end, but she had lost her daughter in the process. “Not a damn thing, but I did alright.” she smiled through, knowing she did better than she ever dreamed after that. She saved herself in the end and maybe it was what she needed, a reason to. “You sound like you’ve had a few of your own.” Knowing Axel, it was more than just a few. “Why would they be? The past is gone, we’re adults and got new lives. Why would the past have to ruin the present?” She asked him, knowing she was good with him and felt no hard feelings. If it would be awkward that would be on his end. “He never changes, i thought he’d leave that back when he left, but God–he’s exactly the same.” she chuckled, knowing that in someway was a relief. She’d had so much change in her life, it was nice to see somethings didn’t. “You got married and have a kid on the way? Holy shit, I’m proud of you! I never thought you’d get settled. You didn’t seem like the type.”

“You sure did.” Axel remarked, the way he was seeing her now was in a hell of a lot better shape than when Damon left her. It seemed liked she had gotten to a point of acceptance, which was a nice change he saw in his own eyes. Though, he realized she must have turned her life around all by herself now that he was really thinking about it. “You look great Mandy. You... It’s just really great to see you again.” Especially since she wasn’t in bad shape any longer, like in the pictures that Damon had painted of her at probably one her lowest times in her life. “Probably my own fair share. But...that comes with the town I guess.” He shrugged it off before a flat smile pulled at his lips while she spoke. He nodded along with her statements. “I would like that. There’s no need for any past things to define our present. Plus, I missed us.” His grin grew after another moment. “Damon is the most consistent out of anybody I know. I don’t put it past him. It’s the only thing he can control.” Seeing Mandy was a blast from the past but her words pulled him straight back into the current times. “I never thought I would either. To tell you the truth, I just...I fell in love without even realizing it. And...here we are...some 15 years later.”

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thevixenspy:

“Oh,” she said almost despondently. “Well…won’t your wife be upset that you’re talking to me?” she asked. Rosalie knew she should leave so she didn’t cause any problems, but she found herself frozen in place. Anything they were talking about disappeared from her mind. She was more focused on the ring she saw on his finger. It was almost blinding to her. “Are you sure I’m the right person to keep you entertained?”

As her words pierced through the veil of marriage that he was trying to uphold, he shrugged slowly. “Why would she be upset? I can have relationships with people outside of my marriage. It’d be an isolating life if I wasn’t allowed that.” He tried, though, he could already imagine what she was getting at. “Guess it just depends on the type of entertainment we waste our time on.”

[axeltxrner]

roxiturner:

“You say that a lot..” Roxi said, her voice cracking. “But do you mean it? Because if you meant it you wouldn’t keep…hurting me like this. I feel like every time we get good again, something you’ve been hiding from me comes forward. What else are you hiding from me? What else do I nee to know? Were you in love with this woman? The one you had a child with? Are you happy someone gave you what I’m still not sure if I can give?”

“I haven’t been hiding this from you!” Axel was agitated. Not with Roxi, with the situation. This wasn’t something he planned for, something that he calculated and chose to put her through. He had only just found out himself, and he was only trying to rationalize that with her. “Roxi, you’re pregnant right now! With our kid! And I’m happy for us, Rox. Everything about Ryan, my....my daughter...I just found out about. Hell, I haven’t even seen her mom in...19 years. It was a one time thing. Before I met you!”

[axeltxrner]

mothermandy:

“I thought so too. When he left, he took everyone with him.” She wished she’d been lying, she didn’t really have family. All ties were cut when she moved away, when he left he took her family too, not just her daughter. She had been completely alone in the end. She tried not to think about it too much either, how could he have known? How could he have cared? “I can’t seem to get away from him.” She chuckled, knowing how it seemed to feel now. He was back in her life and just as present before or so it felt. “You’d think we were still married with how he’s acting.” She knew he meant well, but she had another child, a child to meet finally, and a new reputation to build. She needed to focus on it, not be caught in old wounds. “I was worried when they were spending me off that I’d end up hating it, but you’re right. I think they stuck us in paradise. I can’t imagine ever going back to the city now, I couldn’t.” She looks back at her old friend who even after this time hadn’t really seemed to change in her eyes. “How have you been, Ax?” 

“He really didn’t leave you with anything.” Axel replied with a heavy heart. It seemed like everything they had together, all they had built together was all just stolen from her. He couldn’t blame Damon though, after the birth, he had heard the horror stories, though he tried not to get into it. Damon’s relationship was none of his business, and he seemed to raise Pearl just fine by himself, so who was he to judge. “Yeah, that town will do that to you. It’s small enough where you’re gonna have at least a few awkward run ins.” He paused before adding hesitantly. “I don’t want our run-ins to be awkward Mandy.” He wanted to clear the air between them if there was anything to come clean about. He lifted a brow at her statement, chuckling half-heartedly. “He’s always just been a drama queen. I wouldn’t let that get to you too much.” Smiling a little lighter, Axel nodded. “That’s a good attitude to have. I’ve been really good though. I...uhm...Roxanne, I don’t know if you ever met her, my wife...well, we’re expecting a kid soon.”

[axeltxrner]

thevixenspy:

“I am definitely not married,” she said with a quiet laugh. “Are you?” she asked, trying to discreetly glance at his left hand to see if there was a ring. His hand was just out of view though and she didn’t want to make herself obvious. “Strange name for something so good that’s normally so bad.” Her hand was set on the center console and she tapped her fingers against it, her nails making a soft clicking sound as they made contact with it. “You’re right. Maybe I should try something new. Maybe you have some ideas to help me out.”

“I thought as much.” Axel chuckled sheepishly as he watched her with a grin. “I...yeah. I am.” He brought his hands together, over his lap, as if he were considering twisting at the wedding band around his ring finger, though, he knew how awful that would look. Instead he cracked his knuckles lightly. “Yeah, no kidding. Sounds like a good time though.” There was certainly room for him to go deeper, but he felt like he was already pushing it. “I’m always looking for new ways to keep myself entertained in this hellhole of a snake pit.”

[axeltxrner]

thevixenspy:

“New company is usually a good thing. The same people tend to drag you down eventually.” Rosalie flipped her hair behind her shoulder before turning in her seat to face him. This was the first time she intently looked at him. He was extremely attractive and the stubble on his face made her heart skip a beat. Maybe he was her ticket away from consistency. “Oh, it’s really good. I went to this one place once and they had this flavor called blue balls, which I thought was hilarious, but it was actually really good. A mix of all these fruity flavors.” She ran her tongue along her bottom lip. “Some experiences are better left in the past though.”

“I take it you’re not married.” Axel muttered through a slim grin as he looked over to the woman, feeling as though he were nearing boundaries with her, specifically ones he set for himself as far as crossing the line went with other women. He watched as she seemed to get closer, his heart beating a bit faster. “Blue balls, huh?” He gave a hearty laugh as he watched her, grin pulling at his lips. “Sounds like you know your stuff.” Axel’s eyes went to her lips before glancing back to her eyes, not wanting to wander any lower, despite the desire to. “I agree. Experiences can vary. But how will you ever experience anything new if you’re stuck in the past?”

[axeltxrner]

roxiturner:

And there it was. Roxi thought she had one thing with him that no other girl had. She thought even though he broke her heart over and over again; took other girls on the joyrides they’ve been on, made them laugh so hard that they cried, held them tighter than anyone else, that she had at least one little thing. She was supposed to be the one to have a family with him, to be his wife, give him the picture-perfect life; but now even that was ruined. He said he just found this out but what if that was another lie?  And even if it was the truth, did it matter? She fumbled with her wedding ring; she had never taken it off no matter how hard they fought., but now she was taking it off. She held it out to him, tears falling from her face. “Does this even mater to you anymore?” she asked, looking into his eyes.

Axel stared at her, watching as she fumbled with her wedding ring. Shaking his head, he finally dropped his gaze as soon as she had taken it off. It was like the world had finally crashed, and life had ended. Without Roxi, he had no stability, he had no rock, he had nothing without her. And this was the final straw. He felt a sting in his eyes as the heavy feeling weighed in the back of his throat, and as the wedding ring came into view, he extended his hand open, not wanting to take it, but knowing that if she didn’t want it anymore, there wasn’t much he could do to force her. “Of course it matters to me Rox. You matter to me. You’re my whole world.” He lifted his head again, hardship after hardship falling upon him. “I’m sorry. This was...I didn’t plan for this Roxi. This happened before I even met you!”

[axeltxrner]

damxnturner:

Damon couldn’t fathom finding out about having a daughter he never knew about. He felt bad because it was similar to what he had done to Mandy. He didn’t even know if she knew what Pearl looked like since he’d never reached out to her as their daughter grew up. The fight from before was irrelevant compared to what Axel was telling him now. Plus, the whole reason for coming here was to smooth things over, which was what looked to be happening. “Thanks, man. I appreciate that. Maybe I’ll be around occasionally, unless this job doesn’t work out then I’ll be back full time.” He chuckled, attempting to lighten the mood a bit. “We’ll figure all of this out. It’ll be good.”

“Hey, whatever you have to do.” Axel nodded for a moment, taking in his own breath of air. He knew life always had some way to throw a curveball in his direction. With that in mind, the younger brother had some thinking to do of his own, specifically with how he was dealing with his own family that seemed to slowly expand overnight. “I appreciate the bode of confidence.” He muttered after another moment before shrugging away. “Guess I’m glad that you’re here in Rosendale. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

[axeltxrner]

thevixenspy:

Rosalie let out a laugh at his comment. “Maybe you’re only worsening the case against yourself,” she teased. “Consistency is something I’ve been trying to escape for a long time. A consistent life isn’t always a happy one.” Her nails dug into her palms. Consistency is why she ended up in this damned town in the first place. “I can assure you it tastes a whole lot better.” She scrunched her nose up. “And smells a whole lot better,” she added. Rosalie looked over at him as he took his seatbelt off. “I may be young but don’t think just because of that that I haven’t seen or experienced things to last three lifetimes.”

“Whatever it is, I need to find some new company anyways.” Axel sputtered off with a cheeky grin. “Yeah, no shit. Consistency is a trap to live life in a bubble.” Axel wanted to live freely and for the most part he had succeeded in that, though, there had become a more narrow scope of his stability more recently and he wasn’t complaining. Still, with the young woman, it seemed possible to at least entertain the idea of a less stable life. “That...sounds good.” He nodded, with the idea that if it tasted good and smelt good, maybe Roxi wouldn’t be on his case so much, especially with the bay on it’s way. “Oh boy. That sure sounds exciting. I don’t doubt you miss. Experience comes in all shapes and sizes.”

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thevixenspy:

“What?!” Rose exclaimed a little loudly. “You’ve never heard of hookah? When I was in college I went all the time with my friends. It’s essentially this…bong looking thing. That’s the only way I can think to describe it,” she told him with a light laugh. “There’s water in the bottom and hot coals on top and long tubes on them. Multiple ones. That’s where you smoke it. It’s essentially just smoking vaporized, flavored tobacco. My friend bought one when we were still in school and we used it to smoke pot. It seems like that was a lot longer ago than it was. A lot has changed.” She leaned back into the seat of the car. “I think I might need more than one drink. Existential dread is setting in on me.”

“A bong? Geez, no wonder it’s more popular among those college kids. Talk about being friends with teens.” Axel murmured, sly grin pulling at his face. “You know, even though things have changed, there’s still that consistency of it all. But, I mean, hey, I won’t knock hookah off until I give it a try. Flavored tobacco doesn’t seem all too bad. And, I’ve been trying to kick my smoking habit anyways. How bad can this be compared to that?” Axel looked over her, unbuckling his seatbelt as he put the car in park to get out. “You’re still young. You’ve got loads of time to live still. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

[axeltxrner]

thevixenspy:

“Teenagers? People might get the wrong idea if you keep doing that,” she told him, an eyebrow raised. She noticed his smirk and couldn’t help but smirk as well. “Excellent. I work from home so I can go whenever works best for you. We could go to the Sapphire Lounge, get a hookah to go with our drinks.”

“Oh, trust me. They already have the wrong idea about me.” Axel chuckled softly, falling into a realm of some type of friendship that he hadn’t experienced with anyone that he didn’t consider family. “God, that sounds amazing. I could use a drink these days. Though, I gotta be frank, I have no fucking clue what the hell hookah is?”