and Amelia always ends up blaming herself
seen from T1
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seen from India
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and Amelia always ends up blaming herself
#OWEN HUNT CAN CHOKE
rymelia + the watch
“Two guys shot my dad for his watch. I never told anyone that before.”
The banner reading “Narcotics Anonymous” swung gently in the breeze. Standing on the sidewalk below it was a short brunette, arms crossed, glaring at the sign as if it was about to jump alive and grab her. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there when she realized someone had started to stand next to her.
“You gonna go in or not?” the tall, dark haired man asked her. She should probably have been alarmed at this stranger approaching her, or at the very least startled, but nothing startled her much these days. She turned and faced him, uncrossing her right arm to tuck a strand of messy hair behind her heavily pierced ear and her darkly made up eyes gazed up at him, deciding how to respond.
“Not sure. I can’t-”
“Decide if you’re ready to give it up yet?” Hearing her thoughts said almost verbatim to her was oddly validating, so she smiled and nodded slowly, ignoring the fact that he cut her off.
“I’m Ryan”, he said, extending his calloused hand out to her. When his sleeve shifted as he moved, she recognized all too familiar bruises.
“Amelia”
Nuptials Pt.3
Tuesday Night.
“Hurricane Amy,” Derek confirmed with a slight chuckle, “That’s what they used to call her at school. She hated the name.” He took a sip of his whiskey, adding, “That, and Little Amy. Call her that if you want her to tear your eyes out.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Owen laughed, knowing how much Amelia hated it when people, aside from Derek, called her Amy, far less Little Amy.
“Amy was very volatile in school,” Derek continued, embarrassing his younger sibling in her absence, “She would just say things without even thinking about it. It got her into a lot of trouble.”
“I don’t think that has changed much,” Alex piped in, taking a seat at the table Owen and Derek were sitting at.
“I remember a little after our dad passed away,” Derek recalled, “Mom got called in to our elementary school for a fight she got in.” Derek laughed as he thought about the memory, stuttering to finish the story. “Amy grabbed a little girl by her throat and almost choked her because she said something mean about dad.” Alex almost choked on his drink as he erupted in a fit of laughter.
“The point of this entire story,” Derek concluded, downing the rest of his drinks, “Is to be careful of what you say to my sister. She will grab you by your throat.”
“Noted,” Owen smiled, shaking his head as Andrew, Ben and Jackson approached the table, carrying a bus load of shots on a plate.
“Drinks are here,” Ben announced, grinning mischievously at Owen.
“Uh, those are shots,” Owen corrected the firefighter.
“Same thing.” Ben placed four differently coloured shots in front of Owen.
“I can’t drink all of this,” the trauma surgeon tried to say. The other five surgeons were having none of it.
“Come on, Hunt,” Andrew encouraged him, “You only have a couple more days of freedom before you officially become a soccer dad.”
“I think it’s soccer mom, De Luca,” Owen curtly corrected.
“No way, dude,” Alex chimed in, taking a shot from the plate and downing it instantly, “Shepherd wears the pants. You’re definitely the soccer dad; she has you whipped.”
Owen frowned at his statement. “That is not true.”
“Then prove it,” Jackson taunted him, gesturing to the four shots in front of him. Owen looked around at his fellow surgeons, each of them with a smug grin on their faces.
Desperately wanting to prove them wrong, Owen sighed and said, “Screw it.” He downed all four shots, being cheered on by his colleagues. He could already feel the buzz creeping as Derek began to speak again.
“So, how is family life?” Derek asked, “With the new baby and all.”
“For a new born, Rosie throws a lot of tantrums,” Owen disclosed thoughtfully, “She and Amelia almost never get along.”
“Maybe because they’re so similar,” Derek shrugged, “From what I remember, Amy was the loudest crier and persevered during the longest tantrum episodes.”
“I’m usually able to calm her down,” Owen added, “So I don’t know what it is about Amelia that makes her so…agitated.”
“They’re two north pole magnets,” Derek metaphorically stated, “You’re likely going to have to be breaking up fights between them for the rest of your life.”
“Gee, thanks,” Owen muttered, suddenly defeated at the thought.
“We should’ve hired strippers,” Alex announced.
“Strippers, really?” Jackson laughed, “For all of our wives to kill us? The only person who isn’t married here, is De Luca.”
“I bet you the girls hired male strippers,” Alex insisted, “There are always male strippers at bachelorette parties.
“Amelia would never,” Owen assured the bunch.
“Amelia wouldn’t,” Alex agreed, “But Addison, Meredith, Jo or Arizona? They definitely would.”
“Oh, and the southern chick too,” De Luca piped in, “I can’t remember her name, but she looked pretty impish.”
“Charlotte,” Owen answered for them, feeling incredibly insecure now.
Sensing his mood shift, Alex quickly added, “Hey, but you’re basically marrying a party girl, Hunt, so you scored.” Reaching over the table to pat his shoulder, the paediatric surgeon winked and added, “Maybe she’ll do a strip tease for you later.”
---
“You hired strippers?” Amelia exclaimed after just entering the bar, only to find that drinks were being served by men dressed in bow ties and dress pants. Only.
“I’m reminding you of what you’re going to be missing out on once you tie yourself down to a man,” Charlotte teased the neurosurgeon, guiding her over to one of the servers. “Charles, this is the soon-to-be.”
Charles looked Amelia up and down and smiled. “A pleasure to meet you.” He then took her hand and guided it to his chest before letting it trail down his torso.
As soon as the guy walked off, Amelia commented, “He has a really hard chest.”
“I know,” the blonde confirmed, winking at her. Amelia rolled her eyes just as she heard Maggie screaming.
“Oh my god,” Maggie gasped as she looked at the picture on Addison’s phone. Tears came to her eyes. “Amelia, you look amazing!”
“You took a picture?” Amelia exclaimed, rushing over to Addison’s side to see that she had, in fact, taken a picture of Amelia in her wedding dress, “I hate you.”
“You do look nice, though,” Meredith commented as she joined the trio, “Owen won’t be able to keep his eyes off you.” Addison continued to talk to Maggie about the dress, while Meredith pulled her aside for a personal conversation.
“You look nervous,” she said as they reach the bar table.
“Is it that obvious?” Amelia sighed, calling to the bar tender for a glass of sparkling water.
Meredith smirked. “I’m hoping it’s the copious amounts of alcohol around you, and not the wedding.”
Amelia sat on the bar stool and bit on her bottom lip. “I feel like we’re making a mistake, me and Owen.”
“You already made Rosie,” Meredith joked, referring to the baby as their big mistake. Amelia rolled her eyes and smiled, but her nervousness remained as she looked around at her friends having fun. “You’re not making a mistake,” Meredith assured her, taking her hand, “Love isn’t a mistake, and trust me when I say that Owen loves you.”
It was then that Amelia looked her in the eye. “It just feels like we’re rushing everything, all the time. Dating, moving in, the engagement, Rosie.”
“Everyone has a different timeline for things,” Meredith advised her, “And, if not, I can drive the getaway car on your wedding day.”
Amelia laughed as her phone vibrated in her pocket. “I’ll remember your offer. Excuse me.” She hastily darted out of the bar as she looked at the caller ID on her phone. She didn’t recognise the number. “This is Dr Shepherd.”
“Amelia,” a familiar voice said on the other line.
She paused, trying to register the voice. “Ryan?” She hadn’t heard from him since their official introduction to their son as his father, which had surprisingly gone well.
“Hi,” he greeted softly, unsure of what to say next, “How is R. Junior?”
“He’s…good,” she said, weary of why he was calling, “How are you?”
“I’m not calling you for money,” he quickly said, hearing the hesitation in her voice, “I’m still sober. Five months now.”
Amelia smiled to herself, a sense of warmth filling her being. “That’s great, Ryan. I’m happy for you.”
“Me too,” he agreed, “I’m also happy for you; I hear you’re getting married.”
“I am,” she confirmed, thinking of how happy she was that she was marrying Owen. Maybe it was just wedding jitters.
“I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous,” he disclosed, making her laugh.
“Of me? No way,” she teased.
“Lame, right?” he commented. There was a brief silence after, before he finally said, “I am genuinely happy for you, Amelia.”
She sighed in relief and smiled. “Thank you, Ryan.”
“Although, I always imagined that we would get married again and have more kids,” he sheepishly confessed, “But I guess I ruined my chances a while ago.” She knew he was referring to the countless time he’d shown up in her life, lying about his sobriety and toying with her emotions.
“It’s in the past,” she assured him, “Really.” Then, after a brief thought, she said, “You should come to the wedding.”
“I don’t know,” he mused, unsure of the idea of him and Owen in the same room, especially at her wedding, “I don’t want to make things tense or awkward for you.”
“No, I want you there,” she convinced him. When she heard no response from him, she offered, “I’ll promise you a dance if you come.”
“Well, when you put it like that,” Ryan mused, “I guess I can’t say no.” Amelia laughed, glad that he had called, although she was reluctant at first to speak to him.
“Maggie and Arizona are drunk,” was the first thing Amelia heard when she came back into the bar. The words had come from Stephanie’s mouth. Standing by the door, she looked over at her friends. Addison, Charlotte, Meredith, Maggie, Jo, Stephanie, Arizona, even April. They had all come out to celebrate her future with Owen, and she couldn’t help but be so glad that she’d made one more good decision in her life, the decision to move to Seattle.
Thoughts on Ryan from PP?
Well… ahahahaah unlike a lot of Amelia fans, I really didn’t like Ryan. IMO he was the worst of all the guys Amelia has ever been with. I could never see him through the romantic notion of something that could have been beautiful but didn’t because he tragically died. On the contrary, I think their relationship would expire regardless of the addiction. I’ll explain myself better.
While I think that Ryan was a very sick person like Amelia was and had some really nice moments (like telling her she had people who cared about her and should give that value), some of the things he did I found unforgivable. Like bringing over friends to the room when his girlfriend was in bed. That scene made me lose all respect for him because it was so invasive, so uncomfortable. Even if he immediately asked the guys to leave when Amelia requested, the fact he brought those guys over exposing Amelia like that ruined him for me completely.
But that’s not only it.
I think that Ryan was so foolishly enchanted by Amelia that it was a bit sad/pathetic. I get it that he never had anyone in life and of course the idea of a beautiful, smart and successful woman taking an interest on him would be flattering. But it felt like he would simply do everything she wanted, like a puppet. And while that was convenient for Amelia at first (when she needed someone to share her addiction with), in the long run it would prove to be a challenge. I imagine that, if Ryan and Amelia had indeed gotten sober together, their relationship wouldn’t have lasted much longer because the two of them were from completely different worlds. Not only she had a career, perspectives and an entire support system, Amelia is also very strong and she has a lot to lose while Ryan didn’t. I think he would have simply done everything in his power to always say yes to her, to make his life revolve around her that at some point it would become suffocating. Amelia would have to always take the lead and he would follow her instead of walking beside her like a partner should.
I might be a bit harsh but that’s the impression I had on Ryan. But I acknowledge the importance he had in Amelia’s life. He was someone who could understand what she felt at that time, being the ‘black sheep’, the outcast too. He could offer her understanding when no one else could, in a moment she really needed it. I don’t think she really loved him because she never really knew the real him, but she was deeply in love with the idea of them together making it work, two misfits against the world and etc, and that was enough to make her go through hell when she lost him.
If I had a nickel for everytime Amelia lost a black/dark haired love interest after being close so to happiness I would have two nickels which isn’t much but it’s weird that it happened twice