#s161

[thewertsearch]

TG: but each time i would be watching myself from the vantage point of a different crow

Imagine being in Dave’s head, during that last fight with Jack.

Imagine watching yourself die violently, again and again, from the vantage point of a different Dave.

By the time it’s your turn, you already know exactly where each bullet is going to collide with your chest. You're already intimately familiar with the particular tones of your helpless screams - so familiar, in fact, that you're screaming before the bullet has even hit.

You already know how this goes. The only new part is the pain.

TT: Well, if I've learned anything from my extensive skimming over the Wikipedia articles on dream analysis, TT: It's that this dream is very unlikely to have any literal significance whatsoever. TT: It's probably not about dying at all.

If Rose hasn't yet diverged from the bubble's seed memory, then this quote is fairly ironic, in retrospect.

...but if Rose has broken out of the original memory, then she's the funniest motherfucker in the comic.

TG: i think im getting this weird deja vu thing where i was sure we talked about this […] TT: Why don't you tell me more about your dream?

I am so glad we’re going with option two. Never change, Lalonde.

TG: so i kept dying and kept being crows and stuff TG: and then i started to notice something coming from the sky TG: it was this faint eerie singing and i look up and theres nothing there just darkness

This was another peek at Derse, then.

Dave, the Horrorterrors have been trying to reach you since long before the session started. Will you finally heed their call?

TT: Certain texts say singing from the unknowable void carries a message. TT: That its recipient has been selected for a mission of supreme cosmic importance, that will result in your death and that of billions more.

It sounds like Rose is saying that the Green Sun’s destruction will kill many, many more than just the Tumor's pilot.

Now, we already knew that, more or less. The Sun is the keystone of the First Guardian system, and destroying it is sure to cause massive problems with every session in the multiverse. I can't even imagine how dire the long-term consequences will be. We know that - I’m just surprised that Rose is admitting it.

I guess I assumed Scratch had convinced her that destroying the Sun would be strictly beneficial - but no. She knows exactly how much destruction she’s about to dole out.

If you know this, Rose, then what the hell are you playing at?

TT: But one that is essential to the perpetuation of existence itself.

And here’s our answer. Scratch hasn’t hidden the fallout of the Green Sun’s destruction from Rose. He didn't need to, because he's opting for a much more subtle manipulation strategy, framing her mission as some nebulous 'greater good', which 'justifies' any side-effects.

Protect the multiverse from Jack, Rose - and don't worry about English. He's, uh, 'sanctioned by Paradox Space', whatever that means, so don't waste your thoughts on him. Look away from him, Rose.

Look at me, Rose. The real threat is Jack Noir.

That is what you need to fix, you silly girl. He’s your fault, Rose.

Fix it, and damn the consequences.

Don’t even think about the consequences, Rose.

[thewertsearch]

TT: So what about Jade? […] TT: You didn't tell her your expedition with her would result in your death, let alone one she'd inadvertently cause. TT: Or that she'd be stuck with the job of resuscitating you. Did you? TG: what am i really supposed to say TG: hey were gonna hunt frogs til you shoot me through the jack TG: then i die and youve got to make out with me TG: that kind of changes how the whole thing goes doesnt it

Plus, after the first loop, you already knew you weren't going to tell her. The window of opportunity to decide the circumstances of your death had already closed.

TG: you dont know anything TG: about what i was feeling or what happened on lofaf TG: you were all pavement faced and babbling your throefester speak and flipping off the shit with your own crazy deathwish thing why do you think you know what was going through my head TG: youre just assuming and throwing around psyche buzzwords like aspd complex disorder

I don't think we've ever seen Dave this angry.

I think he's earned it, to be honest. These kids have been stuck in Skaia's emotional pressure cooker for nearly 24 hours, and they’re all reaching their respective breaking points. Dave's had just about enough, and he needs to let it out.

TG: im telling you if i said anything at all about it she probably doesnt even fire her gun once and all im doing is dragging her into a doomed timeline with me TT: I guess I'm learning to be impressed by your sense of obligation to inevitable misfortune. It's a strange case of inspiration through futility.

Well, it’s complicated.

On a surface level, it really does look like his misfortune was predestined - but the more of Homestuck I read, the more I gravitate toward the theory I linked in my previous post - that the Alpha Timeline can only 'force' you to do things that are already consistent with your personality. After all, we still haven't really seen a time loop that forces a character to act against their own nature.

If it's true, then perhaps Dave’s getting these shitty loops because he expects them – and maybe, if he changed his perspective, he’d start to be presented with kinder ones. It's worth a try, at least.

It’s not like this is exclusively a Sburbian phenomenon, either. Outside of Homestuck, plenty of us feel like our personalities trap us in loops of our own, forcing us to repeatedly experience the same thoughts, actions or situations.

We might not be time travelers, but our own metaphorical loops can feel just as inescapable as the literal ones binding Dave.

TG: i was never that cool with this TT: With what, exactly? TG: you know how you turned out to be this incredibly shitty seer of light and basically failed at that in every way imaginable TT: Hey!

Eh, I think you deserved that one.

[thewertsearch]

On the sliding scale of ‘rabbits you don’t want to fuck with’, Liv Tyler is only one step below Bugs himself.

Why is CD going after the wallet, anyway? Isn’t he supposed to be assassinating Jade?

...oh, god, wait a second. John’s wallet contains the fucking Tumor.

You don’t think he’s going to...

...phew.

Everyone say thank you very much, Liv Tyler. Letting that guy run off with the Tumor would have been the disaster to end all disasters.

Alright, who are we going with next?

That page containing Dad's hat is awfully intriguing, but I think we should go back to Derse instead. Rose is worrying me.

Her dark aura is subtle, but it’s definitely still there.

It’s honestly a little more worrying than her full Grimdark transformation. We at least knew what Grimdark Rose was up to, but Shadowy Rose is a complete unknown.

TG: i remember waking up here TG: after getting shot TT: Yes.

This is after Dave woke up from being shot, which means he's not waiting in the Dream Bubbles for Jade to resurrect him. No, he somehow ended up here after he revived.

That means he either died again somehow, or his dream self lost consciousness on Der-

Rose.

This has to be the answer. Dave volunteered to deliver the Tumor, but Rose knew his heart wasn't really in it, so she took matters into her own hands. Literally.

And if she's ensured that Dave can't deliver the Tumor, then...

...oh, Rose.

[thewertsearch]

TG: then the cage bunny came TG: he gave us the bomb

Just about. It was very much touch-and-go for a minute there.

Liv really is proving to be the MVP of this session's endgame. Mad props to whoever programmed her AI, whether it was the Pen-Pal, his arm-twister, or some fourth party.

Come to think of it, the mystery surrounding her origin means that we don't really know where Liv's true allegiances lie. She's been helpful so far, but we should probably keep a close eye on her, going forward.

TG: we were talking about who should go TT: Do you remember what we decided? […] TG: wasnt i going to go TG: is that what happened did i go and now im dead TT: Not quite.

Oh, god, hang on a second.

I've just realized what Rose is actually doing here. She isn't just planning to leave with the Tumor - she's already gone, and she's stalling Dave's dream projection so he doesn't try and bring her back.

And to think I called her sinister for this. Rose, I am genuinely sorry.

TT: Do you remember anything else? […] TT: What about why you went to fight Jack? […] TG: yeah i saw my future self fighting him so obviously that had to happen or else id be dead anyway TG: without even getting the satisfaction of standing up to him TT: So was your decision a result of desire or obligation?

Excellent question.

Dave's wanted to take the fight to Jack for a while - and I don't think it was just because AR was whispering in his ear. The guy's spent a long time feeling like a sidekick, and I believe there's a part of him who wants to prove otherwise - to do 'what heroes should be doing'.

I mean, he just said it himself, didn't he? Dave thinks that fighting Jack would be satisfying.

So yes, I think a part of him did desire this fight - and if my 'responsive timeline' theory is correct, then his desire influenced how the Alpha timeline evolved, causing his fight with Jack to be set in stone. I'm sure he had second thoughts, once he saw how it was going to end - but by then, it was too late to back out.

In short: I think Dave's decision was originally a result of desire, but it became obligation.

TG: hard to explain TG: with all the time shit going on TG: i dont try to understand your light shit do i TT: I don't know much about the Light Shit, to be honest. TT: I may have missed my chance to figure it out.

Spoken like a girl who thinks she’s about to die.

[thewertsearch]

TG: what the fuck sort of crackpot psychology text would say something like that TT: It's not from a psychology text. […] TT: More like, TT: Zoology. TG: oh my fucking god will you put that away

The fact that Dave is already this sick of the Grimoire says so much about the kind of offscreen conversations these two are having.

They’re hysterical, the both of them.

TG: i looked up into the sky TG: didnt see anyone singing TG: but even though the sky was black i could see the sun […] TG: so i flapped my wings and flew up away to it like a fucking piece of garbage […] TT: This doesn't strike you as an impulse of self destruction? […] TG: it was more like somewhere to go besides watching myself die a lot from the vantage of a feathery murder of dumb shitty birds

Dave really fucking hates his role, doesn’t he?

I think that last fight with Jack really did a number on him. He's so desperate to escape these loops that he's not thinking about the consequences...

TT: So, if hypothetically you were to accept such a mission, or even insist upon one, it wouldn't be in the spirit of genuine sacrifice, but of escape?

...even if the consequences include death by Tumor.

I think Rose's analysis is pretty much on the money. Dave will try to pilot the Tumor, despite the danger - but it's not because he wants to die. No, it's just a sign of how much he fucking hates being the Knight of Time. He doesn't want death, he wants out.

TG: ok somethings wrong TG: this whole conversation is falling apart this isnt how it originally went at all

Farewell, blissful ignorance.

This must be a really weird experience, as your memories proceed to hit your brain like a ton of bricks. For just a moment, as your past and future selves collide, you're both one person, and two people.

TG: this is so sick you using the dream bubble bullshit to pick apart my psyche TG: am i dead or asleep […] TT: Maybe I'm just as confused as you about it? TG: yeah right TT: Am I dead or asleep, Dave?

Is it just me, or is Rose acting sinister more sinister than normal here? She’s being weirdly evasive about her current situation, despite the current crisis. The Tumor's clock is ticking, and Dave needs to know her status!

We know she’s still a little buzzed on that Horrorterror energy. Maybe she’s still working for the Gods, and her current objective requires her to stall for time.

[selectaselect]

[bloggers-secretfiles]

Story #161:

 LDR po kami ng girlfriend ko at matagal na kami. pero d parin kami nagkikita sa personal. kaya ayun nagplano ako na isurprise ko siya. kaya pumunta ako sa lugar niya. sa totoo lang matagal nakong pumunta. nung feb pa. as in di niya alam kung san ako. kasi nga gusto ko siya isurprise. ayun pumunta ako sa school niya pero di ako lumapit parang nasa harapan lang ako nag antay hanggang sa lumabas siya. lumabas nga siya may kasamang lalaki. medyo sweet sila…di ko alam basta sweet sila.. tapos tinext ko sya.. sabi ko san kana? sabi nya nasa bahay na sya daw. pero ayon nga. nagsinungaling sya. halos paiyak nako sa kotse ko. pero ano sinundan ko parin sila.. may kasama nga siyang kaibigan na babae pero dun talaga sya dumidikit sa lalaki. o baka bespren nya lang yun. kasi marami siyang bespren na lalaki. haha kaya ayun umuwi nalang ako. oo umuwi nalang. di ko ma explain yung feelings ko. masakit kasi nakita ko tapos nagsinungaling pa diba?  ano ba gagawin ko. actually kami pa hanggang ngayon at hindi nya parin alam tungkol dun. pero ano litong lito nako. haha hays.