Jan 5, 2019
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i do three things better than most people. i listen to you, i’m interested in you, and i accept you. and i can pretend to do those things. i pretend to do them daily.
“well, if there's been one thing consistent on this tribe, it's the three of you. is that bond enough to get the three of you to the end?”
Now, sweet cheeks, if you know me at all, it's perhaps as the curmudgeonly misanthrope House, from the TV show of that name. [Applause] Goodness. How did that crop up in the conversation, I wonder? But in real life, I am... the truth is, I am neither misanthropic nor curmudgeonly. Erm... No, in real life, I am... I am daffodils. I am the morning dew. I am the laughter of children. I'm the smell of freshly baked bread. I'm the postman's cheery 'Good morning!'. I'm the yelp of a puppy, freed from the microwave. I am chicken-fed corn. The seven of clubs that fills the inside straight. I'm the grateful twinkle in your grandmother's eyes as you reverse the tractor off her legs. I'm sugar, spice and all things nice. I'm the click on an empty chamber when it's your turn at Russian Roulette. I am hope, love, mankind, the world. I am everything. It's called lithium, by the way, if you're interested.
-- Part of Hugh Laurie's opening monologue on Saturday Night Live.