Cut back to Doc, Andy, Church and Caboose
Doc: Hey guys? I've figured out what's wrong.
Doc: You're not gonna like the diagnosis.
O'Malley: Hmhmhmhm which is ironic, because I think it's absolutely delightful, muhahahaha.
Church: Just tell us Doc, we can take it.
Doc: No, he's not dying, he just has-
Caboose: No chance to live. I knew it!
Church: Caboose? One more interruption outta you, and he's gonna have two patients.
Doc: How do I say this, your friend is ... ...
Church: Why are you pausing? Caboose is not gonna interrupt you this time.
Doc: No, that was just for dramatic effect. He's pregnant.
Caboose: Oh good. ...Wait what?
O'Malley: Hmhmhmhmhm, preggers, muahaha.
Church: Alright, are we paying for this service, because, if we are, I want a refund. And if we're not, I want a refund anyway.
Doc: No it's true, we found two heartbeats. So unless he has two hearts, the only logical explanation is that he's pregnant. ...I think.
Church: How is that a logical explanation? Alright, one of the two of you has some explaining to do.
Andy: Haha, don't look at me, Tucker's not my type.
Caboose: Pshah, me neither. And, uh maybe we should um have the doctor explain, uh just how, babies are made, yknow, uh, in case someone, in the group, uuh may not exactly know how... that... happens.
Church: Oh my God Caboose, shut up. Andy, blow up. Doc, you're fired, get outta here. I'm gonna go shoot Tucker.
O'Malley: No, you said we had to tell you what was wrong; you didn't say we had to be right, or that we had to fix him, you fool, hahahahaa, read the fine print, classic blunder. Hmhm.
Doc: First of all, I am right. And we are going to help him.
Church and O'Malley: What?
Doc: Look no-one's ever seen anything like this before. I don't know anything about what caused this, or how to help him, but with heart, and true determination, we can get him through this!
Church: Yeah we don't want heart and determination Doc. What we want is a degree. From an accredited medical institution.
Andy: Yeah. Or four years equivalent work experience!
Doc: (sigh). Come see for yourself.
Caboose: Uh, I think I need to stay here and guaaard this rock. From Tucker. Because I'm pretty sure that's how all this started.
Church: Alright, what's wrong. You seem nervous.
Caboose: What if Tucker is contagious? I do not want to catch pregnancy.
Church: Hey, no one is pregnant. And seriously, Caboose, when I get done with this... we gotta have a little talk man. There's a book I've got that we can read together.
Caboose: ...I'd like that.
O'Malley: Maybe you can have the bowling ball fill you in on some of the basics, hmhm. Let me get you started: there's three holes. Hahahahahahaaaaa.
O'Malley: I meant in the bowling ball.
