SAM YAO: Hey Mo, what's that on the horizon, the Red Sea?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: An excellent guess, but very wrong. The Red Sea is thousands of miles from here. That is salt lake Chott el Djerid. The minerals dye it that especially gruesome shade of red. In fact, the desert rose crystal on my walking stick handle was found in the lake itself by my daughter.
SAM YAO: It's lovely. And the lake's spectacular! Shame Frances is missing it.
JANINE DE LUCA: Miss Dempsey will see it some other time. She's made it impossible for us not to include her in our party, but I don't wish to put her in harm's way unless absolutely necessary. I've asked her and Mr. Lynne to guard the camp, though with her track record, I wouldn't be surprised to find her stowing away in Veronica's briefcase. You have the case, Runner Five? Good. Now, Mr. Boujettif, please brief us on the mission.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: I failed in a sacred trust, Colonel De Luca. I was hired to transport an item to New Agadir of great, almost unimaginable, value.
JANINE DE LUCA: What item?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: It's safest we don't speak of it. Alas, a villain stole it from me, and now its owner holds me responsible for the theft, an owner who answers to the sobriquet Skull-Kicker.
SAM YAO: Oh, they sound lovely.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Indeed. Skull-Kicker is a shady figure who has run much of New Agadir's criminal underworld for the last few years. Unless I return the item and apprehend the true thief, I'll never again be admitted to the city. And without my help and Skull-Kicker's approval, you will never gain entry yourselves. So you see, it's not only for my own benefit that I ask this of you.
JANINE DE LUCA: We do not need a reason to help an innocent man clear his name, Mr. Boujettif. How do you propose to locate our targets?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Fortunately, I was able to shoot the thief with a tracking device as he fled. This receiver will lead us to him, but not until the city's satellite passes overhead. To be in place when it does, we need to head to his last known location, the salt lake.
SAM YAO: Sounds like we haven't got any time to waste. Let's go!
~
SAM YAO: Wow. It's really vivid, isn't it, Five, the salt lake? I want to compare it to something beautiful, but my mind just keeps coming up with blood SLUSH PUPPiE.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: It's said that a giant sent his wife here for salt to season his soup so often that in the end, she used his blood to season the salt.
JANINE DE LUCA: The basin is endorheic, Mr. Yao, meaning it doesn't drain. Minerals from rainwater and runoff from the Atlas Mountains crystallize here and give the lake its distinctive coloration.
SAM YAO: I prefer the one about the giants.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Thank you! Gods and heroes and grand tragic love! I adore such stories. Born in the wrong age, my wife says.
SAM YAO: You all right, Mo?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Yes, yes. It's just... my family, I-I sent them away from me and my sometimes dangerous work. They're staying with an itinerant people who pass this way only once a season. It feels – it feels as if the sun only arises when they return.
JANINE DE LUCA: We know the value of family, Mr. Boujettif, and we know what it is to lose them. We'll do our best to help you.
SAM YAO: We will, Mo, I promise. And what are those? Are those statues? Thousands of them, in all different poses. Looks like Medusa's been out here having a good old stare.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Those are the dead, entombed in the salt. Once a year, when the lake liquefies, they walk free again.
SAM YAO: Um... is that story true?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Unfortunately, yes. Listen, do you hear? That's the sound of the dead beginning to stir. Don't worry, we have a few weeks yet before they reanimate. The satellite should be passing overhead. One moment. [cloth rustles, device beeps] We have him! The thief has made his lair in the Roman ruins. I've spent many pleasant hours there with my family, admiring the mosaics. You can see the remains of the triumphal arch ahead. Let us leave these lone and level sands behind and exact our justice in the decay of that colossal wreck!
JANINE DE LUCA: Lead the way, Mr. Boujettif. We must apprehend the thief and secure the stolen property as swiftly as possible. Your family is waiting for you, and the success of our expedition is contingent on our gaining entry to New Agadir in good time. Let's run!
~
[device beeps]
JANINE DE LUCA: We're closing in on the thief. He's not moving. We must have found his lair!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: In the ruins of the court! Just look at these mosaics! I myself have dabbled in the art of the tile and believe me, these are the very zenith of the form. This section here is my daughter's favorite. It depicts a holy woman, perhaps a Celtic shaman, and her familiar. When asked what she wants to be when she grows up, my daughter always says the woman with the wolf. I miss her.
[beeping accelerates]
JANINE DE LUCA: You'll see her soon, Mr. Boujettif, but we must be quiet. The thief is just beyond the remains of the wall ahead. Runner Five, go left. I will go right. Now! [footsteps] Freeze!
SAM YAO: There's no one here.
JANINE DE LUCA: So I see. Miss McShell, do you have any insight into the thief's likely whereabouts?
VERONICA MCSHELL: The tracking device is primitive and lacks a z-axis. I suspect the thief is beneath you.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Your bag talks?
SAM YAO: [laughs] Yeah, I probably should have mentioned that. Bit of a surprise, I'd imagine.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: You have heard of panpsychism, the idea that consciousness is a fundamental property of matter? Our ancestors knew this. It has taken us millennia to learn it again. The real surprise is that so few bags talk. What do you have in there, a voice assistant?
SAM YAO: Not... exactly.
VERONICA MCSHELL: I've acquired plans of the ruins. We're on top of a much older structure the predates -
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The Berber tombs, yes! This place is a collision of times, of cultures, as New Agadir is today. You'll see when you get there.
VERONICA MCSHELL: There are two entrances to the tombs, built for tourists. Five, you and Sam take the entrance to the left. Janine, you and Mo take the other. It's labyrinthine down there, and doubtless also dark. I'll guide you. Hurry. before the thief moves on. Run!
~
[device beeps]
SAM YAO: Well, we've been in some dark places, Five, but I think these tombs might be the darkest. It's like having oil over your eyes, isn't it? So uh, what do you think of Mo? I like him already. You can tell he feels things. Being apart from his family for so long must be really hard. [rock clatters] What was that?
VERONICA MCSHELL: Just a rock, Sam. This place isn't stable. Keep moving, I'll be your eyes. This corridor leads to a central chamber. The thief isn't there.
SAM YAO: Oh. Yeah. And what's in here?
VERONICA MCSHELL: Tombs. Hundreds of tombs cut into the rock, the resting places of the ancient Berbers.
SAM YAO: Ah. As long as they are actually resting.
VERONICA MCSHELL: Many of the tombs have statues beside them, depictions of an old man with the horns of a ram. They were worshipers of Ba’al Hammon.
SAM YAO: He sounds... [wind whistles] Veronica?
VERONICA MCSHELL: Just a draft, Sam. Must be an aperture leading to the ruins above. You've entered the central chamber. My sensors indicate a presence.
SAM YAO: Oh, I can't see! Wait. Look, Five! There, where the shadows are darkest.
VERONICA MCSHELL: Approach with caution.
SAM YAO: It's a person, it’s-it’s definitely a person.
VERONICA MCSHELL: Slowly, Sam. Quietly.
SAM YAO: Why is he staring into the corner like that? What's he staring at? Is it - is it Ba’al Hammon?
VERONICA MCSHELL: Grab him on the count of three. One, two, three!
[zombie screams]
SAM YAO: Zombie! It's a zombie!
VERONICA MCSHELL: Five, Sam, head for the opposite end of the chamber to the one you've entered from. You'll meet up with Janine. Run!
~
[zombie screams]
SAM YAO: I think we're losing the zombie, Five. A bit of light in here, too, thank heavens. Glinting off all these shiny things. Must be the thief’s lair. It's a bit like Aladdin's cave, isn't it? If Aladdin hoarded consumer electronics. Ah, there's Janine. And here comes the zombie! Janine, Mo, behind us, zombie! The thief's been bitten.
JANINE DE LUCA: I think not, Mr. Yao. There, protruding from the flesh of its thigh, the tracker. The thief planted it on the zombie.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Allow me.
[blade cuts through zombie flesh]
SAM YAO: Oh, your walking stick is actually a sword stick. Cool! Ah, wasn't the fastest zombie in the world, was it? Feel a bit embarrassed for running so hard.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: That was a zombie of the salt lake. Its seasoning hasn't fully softened. In fact, it shouldn't be moving at all. The dead aren’t due to rise for at least a fortnight. Judgment day has come early this year. The salt lake lies between us and New Agadir and are about to resemble the ninth circle joining a heatwave. We must conclude our adventure posthaste.
JANINE DE LUCA: Miss McShell, do you have an update on the thief's location?
VERONICA MCSHELL: Yes. That draft, Sam, it must be coming from one of the tombs dug into the walls. I suspect the thief has created a shortcut to the surface. Behind the tombs are the pipes that once fed the baths above. They are narrow. He'd have to crawl. If you hurry, you may be able to intercept him when he emerges.
SAM YAO: Uh, well, shouldn't we search his lair for the-the thing, the mysterious stolen thing?
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: No need. He'd keep it close. Unless he's sold it already, it will be on his person.
VERONICA MCSHELL: Janine, the entrance you came through is closest to the baths. Go quickly, run!
~
[crickets chirp]
JANINE DE LUCA: Here are the baths, and there is the opening. Prepare to apprehend the thief, everyone. He will emerge from that... bath plug.
SAM YAO: Anyone got a newspaper I can roll up?
[MEDHI groans]
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Hello, Medhi.
MEDHI: Oh crap!
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: How could you do this, Medhi, after I raised you as my own? After I paid for your schooling? Perhaps I should have paid more, then you might have learned that I am not so easily outwitted! Come on, spit them out!
[MEDHI spits, dentures clatter on the ground]
SAM YAO: Gold dentures.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Yes, even more sparkling than the last. Skull-Kicker is most eager to acquire them. You foolish boy, Medhi! Did you think to ransom them back? You are fortunate I prevented such a suicidal plan! Skull-Kicker's smile is famous. Or rather, Skull-Kicker is famous for smiling while doing things that really don't warrant a smile.
SAM YAO: Oh great, can't wait to meet them.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Thanks to your heroics today, you won't have to wait long. Indeed, you can't wait long. Look, through the Corinthian columns!
JANINE DE LUCA: Oh... oh my.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: The dead have risen. Like the zombie we met in the tombs, they are not fully reanimated. We will be able to cross the lake in relative safety, but when the dead rise, so do the city's defenses, and they remain raised for the entire season. This is the point of no return, my friends. This is your Rubicon. If you enter New Agadir, you will not be able to return this way.
SAM YAO: Well, that's okay. We want to enter. That's why we're here. We need to set ourselves up in New Agadir as Death's Hand, or we won't be able to get into Red Scorpion base.
MOHAMMED BOUJETTIF: Ah, but how much do you know of New Agadir? Gaining entry to the place is only the first of your problems. What lies before you is the most technologically advanced city in the Maghreb, and also the most perilous. Eyes watch from every window and only the most virtuous resist its blandishments. The city of a thousand sins lies before you. Enter if you dare!
