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Hitsuzen

Summary: "I need to talk to you," said Morty, "but I need you to understand hitsuzen."

"Fate," Eusine said again, nodding impatiently.

"Things that will happen and were always going to happen."

--

Eusine loses something precious. Morty shares the burden.

Characters/Pairing: SacredShipping

Wordcount: 3,202

Warnings: minor eye... injury? non-graphic, no blood, no gore

A/N: Partially inspired by xxxHoLic

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Morty had called, so Eusine had come. Even though he'd said it wasn't urgent, that it was a personal request, still Eusine came running as though Suicune itself had summoned him. Now, the Bell Tower loomed over him, casting its shadow over the town, as he gazed upon the Ecruteak Gym. His heart fluttered and he stood frozen, just staring at the door.

A gentle breeze ruffled his cape and coaxed a few furin into chiming, drawing him out of the strange spell that had overtaken him. He opened the door with a steady hand and was himself again: Eusine, the Mystical Man, who knew neither fear nor doubt, disciple of nimble-footed Suicune.

The influx of displaced air made the ghostly flames dance in their braziers, once again setting Eusine's cape fluttering about his back. He raised a hand to the Gym guide, who beamed at him. "Eusine!"

"Yo."

"Morty said he was expecting you. Want me to go get him?"

Perhaps Morty had known Eusine would come today or perhaps he had been waiting ever since he'd called. In the past, he'd made a few attempts to explain his foresight to Eusine, but they'd both found that understanding something intellectually was not the same as true knowing.

Eusine waved a hand. "Oh, I can get him." He had walked all over Kanto and all over Johto too many times to count. What were a few more steps?

"No need." Morty stepped out from the shadows and into the flickering firelight, his footsteps thudding gently on the wood. He smiled and Eusine smiled back. Like holding his breath when he went underwater, smiling at Morty was something he did instinctively. "I'm glad you're here."

"I started walking as soon as you asked me to come," Eusine said. He hadn't even hung up, just turned around and left the pier where he'd been waiting. There would be other ferries, but Morty had never, ever summoned him before. He looked around at the guide and the faint silhouettes of Morty's protégés in the mist. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

Morty nodded and turned briefly to the guide. "Break time."

"I don't mean to interrupt," Eusine said mildly, though he rocked his body weight between his heels and his toes. Why had Morty called him to Ecruteak? What was so important that he couldn't say it over the phone? The lack of immediate answers set Butterfree wings tickling Eusine's stomach.

"Breaks are an important part of training," Morty said, a knowing smile wrinkling the corners of his eyes. "Let's go." He stepped forward and pressed a hand to the small of Eusine's back.

Eusine nearly tripped over himself. Morty had never done anything like that before— Sure, they'd bumped hips before, shaken hands, even shared a bed once. But this was authoritative, even stern, and Eusine's skin tingled with the chill of Morty's palm. "Is everything okay?" he asked once they had walked a few feet and the Gym no longer cast its shadow over them.

"Listen, Eusine." Morty kept his hand firmly on Eusine's back, steering him toward the husk of the Burned Tower. "Do you remember anything I told you about hitsuzen?"

"Good question," Eusine said with a weak laugh.

Morty did not smile. He paused on the path, his pale irises searching Eusine's face. "Do you?"

"Hitsuzen," said Eusine, drumming his fingers against his hip. Something to do with Morty's foresight. Though admittedly, he always stopped paying attention to the explanations once Morty reiterated that he couldn't use his powers to help locate Suicune. "Fate, right? Certain events are" —he waved a hand vaguely— "predetermined." He looked into Morty's eyes and found nothing but his own reflection.

Morty's pupils dilated slightly. He turned away and motioned for Eusine to come. "More or less."

"Why are we going to Burned Tower?"

"Privacy."

"Morty!" Try as he might to extend its lifespan, Eusine's patience finally gave up its ghost. "What is going on?"

"I promise, I'll tell you once we get there."

The solution to Eusine's problem manifested before his eyes. He grabbed Morty's hand and ran for the tower. His feet ached with each footfall, his creaking knees reminding him just how far he had traveled over the past week. But he had gone farther for less and the weight of Morty's hand in his own was worth a hundred thousand miles of walking.

Despite the years that had passed, Burned Tower still smelled of smoke and bits of ash still blew from it when the breeze picked up. Eusine let go of Morty's hand and hopped the fence, turning just in time to watch Morty shimmy through a gap in the posts.

"Is this private enough?" Eusine asked breathlessly. The exertion had painted Morty's cheeks Cleffa-pink and upset the drape of his scarf. Eusine reached over and fixed it for him, smiling despite (or perhaps in response to) Morty's uncharacteristically somber expression.

"Sit with me." Morty lowered himself to the ground and leaned back against the dirt foundation of Burned Tower.

Eusine turned and sat across from him, slotting their legs together and bracing his palms in the dirt. "Come on, tell me what's up."

"I need to talk to you," said Morty, "but I need you to understand hitsuzen."

"Fate," Eusine said again, nodding impatiently.

"Things that will happen and were always going to happen. And, I guess, can't not happen?"

"Okay," said Eusine, ready to move on.

"I'm trying," Morty said apologetically. "There are things that are hitsuzen, fated, and the rest is gūzen, coincidence, though that’s simplifying things. The point is, my gift lets me see certain events before they happen."

"Hitsuzen," said Eusine. This was starting to make sense, though context pointed toward a dire terminus.

"Yes!" Morty's face broke into a smile, though it faded much too quickly. "The things I see are going to happen. And I saw… Well, I—" He looked down, fingers tracing lines across the fabric of his pants. "I just wanted to tell you that, when you go to Sinnoh—"

"Sinnoh?" Eusine interrupted. "Sorry, caught me off guard." Obviously his trip to Sinnoh was part of this whole hitsuzen- fate thing. Morty really had caught him just in time. "I assume something is going to happen there? Something bad?" He raised his eyebrows, but Morty refused to look at him. "Morty." Eusine softened his tone. "I'm not going to ask you to tell me. I think I'd rather not know."

Morty jerked his head up and leaned forward, gripping Eusine's knees. "Come back to me when you finish your business in Sinnoh, okay? I…"

Eusine found himself leaning forward and resting his hands atop Morty's, spellbound by the light shining in those brilliant violet eyes. "I promise." Unless Suicune itself appeared in front of him, he would come straight to Ecruteak. He would come straight to Morty.

—

Every piece of advice Eusine had received regarding his trip to Sinnoh had involved winter clothes, ski goggles, and HMs. He'd been told a dozen times over how cold and rugged the region was, with year-round snowfall and constant blizzards in certain areas.

'Certain areas' not including Route 214, it seemed. The sun beat down on him, hot as it ever got in Johto, and sweat collected sticky on his forehead and upper lip. He walked on. Sinnoh was a land of myths. He couldn't afford to sit around and lament the state of the weather, not when there was so much to learn.

After a series of twists and turns and a brief jaunt across a blessedly cool crystalline lake, he found himself at the mouth of a cave. He paused momentarily to make sure his personal effects were in order— Pokéballs in sequence, cape arranged just so over his shoulders, bow tie straight. And, taking a deep breath, Eusine entered the cave.

Immediately, he shivered, the sweat on his skin cooling in the moist air. His eyes adjusted after a few moments revealing dense, rolling fog. Ah, yes, he'd heard about Sinnoh's famous fog, hadn't he? That was alright, no need to waste time teaching his Pokémon a new move when he could simply use logic. Turning, he placed his right hand against the wall and began to walk.

And walk.

He was just considering turning back when a set of glowing red eyes appeared in the darkness and foreign emotions boomed in his head, relaying meaning in a way that was distinctly not words: Unworthy one.

"Me?" Eusine squeaked. He swallowed hard and looked around. A shape, shadowy and indistinct, writhed behind the wall of fog.

You should not have come this far.

Eusine pressed his back flat to the wall, fingers tracing the shape of Haunter's Pokéball. He must have angered a powerful spirit. "Oh," he said, banishing the tremor from his voice. Crowd work. That was all this was. He had charmed the hearts of hostile audiences before. "Forgive me; I—"

No. I will not forgive.

"I'm sorry," Eusine's heart thundered in his ears, every instinct screaming at him to run. But the shapes in the fog hinted that a sizable Pokémon lurked behind it, the glowing eyes illustrating a sharp beaklike mouth. He had no chance. If he ran, he would find himself at this creature's mercy. Oh, gods, he had to do something. He couldn't die here. "How can I— Is there something— Please."

A price. What is your life worth to you, unworthy one? What will you offer for your freedom?

A pause. Eusine's mind raced. And somewhere in the depths of his panic, a jewel of an idea gleamed faintly through the tempest.

Your Pokémon?

"Not them," Eusine croaked before he could stop himself. "I— You wouldn't want them; they're useless, anyway." He ran his fingers over each Pokéballs, a silent apology to his companions.

They got you this far, unworthy one. It wasn't by your own power that you made it to my chamber.

"Yes, it was." Eusine forced himself to speak evenly, his voice booming like he was performing on a crowded city street. "Don't you know who I am? I'm the Mystical Man, Suicune's devotee, the Mystery of Celadon. I'm Eusine. You should feel honored that I came to see you."

Perhaps I'll take that voice of yours. You use it well enough.

"No!" Eusine swallowed hard and closed his eyes. Hopefully this beast couldn't read his facial expressions, because there was no way he could get through this without breaking. Even now, a single tear crawled down the side of his jaw, more brimming in his eyes. "I beg of you, leave my body undefiled. I… I'll bring you something better." He swallowed, hating himself and the game he played, the chips he was forced to use. "I have a friend, a Gym Leader from a far-off region. A master of Ghosts. I'll bring him to you. You can have him."

A fine friend you are.

Eusine forced himself to scoff. "I have plenty of friends, but I make my living off my self. "

I hate that.

"Wh—"

You offer me things of no value. Replaceable things. This friend of yours, this human life, if its loss bears no weight to you, then the gain means nothing to me. What do you have that is as precious to you as your own pitiful life, unworthy one?

"My…" He couldn't think. "I…"

Your eye?

"No," Eusine whispered.

The shapes in the darkness stopped moving. Even the air seemed to freeze, the fog hanging in the air like a white sheet. A phantom claw swiped across Eusine's face leaving an icy burn in its wake. He choked down his scream and staggered backwards along the wall, falling to his knees on the other side of the threshold.

In the bright, burning sun, one eye ached in protest at the change in light. Eusine forced himself up, tears blurring his vision. And somewhere deep inside himself, Morty's voice called to him.

"Come back to me."

—

Eusine kept his face uncovered despite the double takes and curious glances it earned him. When he had finally gathered the fortitude to look in the mirror, a washed-out silver iris greeted him. The eye was still there, but the vision was completely gone. Taken. Still, he kept his face downcast as he walked into Ecruteak. People knew him here and a slimy, cold sensation pooled low in his stomach at the thought of explaining himself to concerned acquaintances.

Unworthy one.

His dragging feet took him to Burned Tower, where he promptly rammed hips-first into the fence. Heat prickled along the back of his hand where it had made contact with the old, splintered wood. He watched, strangely detached, as pinpricks of blood welled up and held their shape. Maybe he should just turn around and leave. Morty wanted to see him. So what? So he could study the morbid aftereffects of his vision, hitsuzen manifest in Eusine's ruined face?

Eusine turned to go. Morty could wait. And Eusine could finish his business in Sinnoh. He'd cut everything short to fulfill Morty's plaintive request, come back to me, and now here he was: turning away in… in what? In shame?

"Eusine?" Morty's face appeared over the top of the fence. "What are you doing?" He noticed Eusine's eye, acknowledged it with a grave look, and continued his examination. "You're bleeding."

Eusine laughed, a bitter taste dancing on his tongue. "I'm leaving."

"A lead?" Morty guessed. Eusine just looked at him, unable to lie. Morty reached for him through the fence, took Eusine's hand in both of his own and held it. "Come here, please."

Eusine came. How could he deny Morty, who rarely asked for anything, and asked so sweetly when he did? Even now, with that somber, sorrowful look aging his features, his ethereal beauty never dimmed. There was something ephemeral in the way his hair danced with the breeze, like he might be swept away at any moment.

But his hold on Eusine's hand was strong and true, and Eusine managed not to trip on his way up the steps into Burned Tower. "What are we doing here?" he asked in a dull, abashed voice that hardly sounded like it belonged to him. That strange creature might have taken more than just his eye. He remembered now, in a sick, dissociated way, he hadn't smiled once since emerging from the cave.

"I like it here," came the gentle reply.

"Is this hitsuzen?"

Morty dropped Eusine's hand and turned on his heel, his gaze locked firmly on Eusine's remaining eye. "No." He was quiet for a moment, purple fire blazing behind his eyes. His stare softened after a moment but did not waver. "Some people think everything is hitsuzen or that gūzen is less important, but that's not true. I'm choosing this."

Eusine's hand burned with the loss of contact. He dropped his gaze and reached out again for Morty. "Choosing what?"

"This moment, Eusine." Morty led him to the wall and sat down in the ashes. "The truth is, most things aren't up to fate."

"They're up to us," said Eusine, filling in the blank.

"So when I tell you to close your eyes, you can choose to do it."

"I see," said Eusine, and then laughed. It was a terrible, hysterical noise that shattered the tranquil quietude of the tower, but he couldn't seem to stop it. Tears welled up in his eyes and he let them fall, forging small rivers in the ashes.

"Come here," said Morty, opening his arms.

Eusine fell into him, burying his face in Morty's scarf. He smelled, like he always did, of bitter aloeswood incense, that kind that necessitated opening the windows when Eusine came to visit because the smoke always made him sneeze. Today, he buried himself in the ghost of that scent, the cold metal of Morty's pin digging into his cheek and drawing a few more hot, pinprick tears from his eyes.

Eusine calmed himself after a moment, all the hysterical tension draining away. But even when was exhausted, he was never fully relaxed, and he soon had to pull back from Morty, just a bit, to adjust the way he was sitting. He took Morty's hand again to make up for the distance, drawing his fingertips down the backs of Morty's fingers until the lines met at his wrist.

"Will you close your eyes for me?" Morty asked.

Eusine nodded and did so. He flinched at the feeling of Morty's cold hand on his chin and forehead, but let Morty tilt his head back. Was… His face warmed at the thought of it. Morty wasn't going to kiss him, was he?

As though in reply, Morty's palm covered Eusine's eye, adding a layer of gentle pressure to the oppressive, ever-present blackness.

And then, light.

Just a little.

Blue and red fireworks behind his eyelids, like he'd rubbed it for too long, and the bittersweet scent of incense and ash.

"What did you do?" Eusine demanded. "Morty."

"I made a choice."

Eusine swiped at the air until he found Morty's wrist and pulled it away. His heart pounded at the blurry sight before him: the gentle outline of Morty— Was he smiling? What had he—? Both his eyes were intact, those beautiful irises gone deep and violet in the low light. Eusine's vision wavered, drawing up a warning wave of nausea under his ribs. He covered his newly restored eye and examined Morty's sharp outline. Smiling. Smiling at Eusine like he was the most precious thing Morty had ever seen.

"What did you do?" Eusine asked, searching Morty's face.

"Look." Morty angled his pin so Eusine could see himself.

Eusine uncovered his eye and squinted at himself. With the bad lighting and the gold tint of the metal and his blurred vision, it was difficult to make anything out. And then he saw. He looked at Morty again, but both eyes were intact, purple as they ever were. The same purple as Eusine's right eye. "What did you do?" he repeated, unable to keep from feverishly examining his own reflected eyes. Purple, blue, purple, blue.

"I gave you half of my eye."

Eusine exhaled shakily and tried to focus on Morty. Blurred vision. Disorienting inability to focalize. Morty was feeling this, too? Morty had done this to himself? "Why?"

The silence between them stretched out like a flooding creek and it was Morty who took the first step into the thundering water. "I'll always be here, Eusine. You can always come to me."

He couldn't, not really, not until his work was done. They knew. They both knew, and it was the weight of Eusine's choices that kept them pinned in place, staring at each other from the riverbanks.

Finally, Morty said, "I think we both might need contact lenses now" and freed Eusine momentarily from the weight of being himself.

"Morty," he said, staring at the dark spots his tears had left on his friend's scarf. "Thank you."

Morty ran a thumb under Eusine's newly-restored eye. "Whenever you're ready," he said, so softly that Eusine could barely hear him, "I'll be here."

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