#sad!dean

[dailywincestspam]

Thank you for running such a wonderful blog ♡

Aw, thank you for your appreciation, anon♥♥♥

[adsp-destielcockles]

[adoptdontshoppets]

If you are looking for happy, this is not it. But this video made me feel so proud of our hero Dean who had to fight through so much to save the world. Right now I prefer this to the hollow finale. Maybe my view will change in the future, but right now this is my Dean. This video is a couple years old, so doesn’t have S14-15.

[where-is-my-whump]

[saventhhaven]

A Drink With a Friend

Pairing: none

Tags: dead!reader, grieving, sad!Dean, sad!Sam, bittersweet

Word Count: 1,004

(Gif not mine)

Never before had the Impala been so quiet. Of course, it wasn't unusual for it to be silent during a drive, so Dean could focus on the road, and Sam could work on whatever he was doing. But the quiet had never been quite so... deafening. Sam wanted to say something - anything - to fill the space just like she would have, but he knew his brother wasn't in the mood for talking. And quite honestly? Neither was he. The smell of charred wood and smoke tainted their clothes, and they could both still see the flames in their minds. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't fair. But life wasn't fair. All they could do was keep going forward and move on.

When the eldest Winchester let out a heavy sniff, his brother tossed a glance his way. Dean wasn't crying it, but he was fighting it, that was for damn sure. Apparently, Sam wasn't the only one affected by the silence. It was then that he realized that Dean wasn't on the right road to get back to the bunker, and he looked around with a start.

"Where are we going?" Even though he tried his best not to disturb the silence when he asked, saying anything still felt wrong.

"I'm not ready to go back just yet," Dean answered. Sam nodded. He wasn't either. He didn't want to go back home and find her room empty. Knickknacks on the shelf above her bed would never be appreciated again; clothes neatly folded in the dresser drawers she would never wear. A few minutes later, Dean brought the Impala to a stop on the outskirts of a field in the middle of nowhere. Before Sam could even ask, "where are we?" his brother was out of the car and rummaging around for something in the back.

"You comin'?" A bit confused, the younger Winchester unbuckled his seatbelt and followed suit. He had assumed that they would spend the next hour or two driving around, but it seemed that wasn't the case. Dean was leaning against the trunk of the car, a small cooler perched precariously on top, and in his hand, a bottle of beer. It was only when he held another one out to Sam that he finally understood.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he questioned hesitantly. "We still have to drive back." Dean shook his head lightly.

"I'm only having the one," he reassured. "'Sides, this is for her." The two boys popped the caps off with satisfaction and took a deep swig.

Dean knew it wasn't a good idea to drown his sorrows in booze. He had done it several times before, and it never turned out well. So, this time, he wasn't going to. For Y/N. She deserved that much. Hell, she deserved way more than that. Hunting wasn't an easy job. No matter how simple the case, it was always dangerous, and it always required putting everything on the line. Y/N knew that, but every single time, she was willing to risk her life anyway. When it came to her hunting skills, she could sometimes outrank Sam and Dean, but even she couldn't escape death. Death came for everyone in the bitter end, and Y/N wasn't any different.

"Listen," she had once said. "When I die-" That had been enough to make the brothers practically choke on their dinner. She had always made a point of talking about death like she wasn't afraid of it. She had always been so funny in that way. The conversation had been years ago, and so out of the blue, but neither Sam nor Dean would ever forget her frown when they asked her not to talk about that, or what she said next. "I'm serious! This is important, and I want you to listen to me." The Winchesters had gone silent, shifted uneasily in their chairs before she finally continued. "Don't waste your thoughts, wondering if you could've done something different." Sam's throat grew tight at the memory. "Whatever happens happens. And if you try to bring me back by selling your soul or some stupid shit like that-" The fiercely determined glint in her eyes made Dean laugh. "I will literally kill you way before some fucking hellhound can." Then, her eyes had softened. "You two are my family. And I don't regret a single thing. So, when it happens, do me a favor." That bright smile she gave them was forever seared into their memories, and it made their hearts ache with the bittersweetness of it all. "Have a beer for me."

Wordlessly, Sam retrieved one more beer from the cooler and set it on the trunk, unopened. This was the hardest part. The traditional hunter's funeral had been much easier in comparison. The thing was, Sam and Dean had done that before. They had burned some of the people closest to them and watched them turn to ash. But this was new. Honoring their best friend's wishes by having a drink like she was here. They knew she would never intend for it to be this way, but it was almost like some kind of cruel joke. Still, a promise was a promise. So, they swallowed their pain and heartbreak of losing another friend. Sam released a long, shuddering breath as he looked up at the stars. Crickets chirped softly in the peaceful darkness. The only thing that gave either Winchester peace was knowing that she would've loved this.

The soft clink of glass caught the youngest Winchester's attention. He turned his gaze down to see his older brother holding the neck of his bottle against Y/N's, eyes swimming with tears that he refused to shed.

"To Y/N." Dean's voice came out a bit choked, but still, he fought past it. Sam gave a watery smile as he cleared the emotion from his throat, nodding. The sound of glass clinked again as he tapped his bottle to the other two.

"To Y/N."

Thanks so much for reading!

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[jensen-jay]

Supernatural | 2x22 - All hell breaks loose (part 2)

[all-or-nothing-baby]

Dean: Cas is dead to me.

Sam: Bullshit.

Dean: No, Sam, I'm serious.

Sam: *plays 'All Out Of Love' by Air Supply*

Dean:

Dean:

Dean: *wailing to himself* WHAT ARE YOU THINKING OF?!

[emptywithout]

Blur the lines

Dean knew as soon as he passed out, that it would all go away. That’s why he drank so much. To blur the lines. To make it disappear into the background. There was only one thing that kept him sane, kept him alive – and that was his brother Sam.

But now that Sam was gone, he had a hard time surviving each day. Cas had tried to pull him out of it. Get him to stop. To move on. Accept the fact that Sam was gone and continue fighting.

But Dean couldn’t.

There was really no reason to go on. Except for the fact that Sam would want him to.

So he drinks and survives.

Every day he drinks and survives.

He hopes he can see Sam again soon.