#sad deceit

[donothello]

Liar, liar Questions dire ‘Falsehoods’ spread like wildfires

[deetheimposter]

After Virgil left the dark sides 

[phantasmofimagination]

What has to be done.

Deceit stared at the item in his hands, his gloved thumbs running over the grey and black striped fabric as if he could somehow feel it through his gloves. He took a deep breath and exhaled, his breath shaky on the way out. He glared at the fabric as if it had wronged him in some way, as if this jacket was to blame for his pain. He supposed it was, in a way.

He sighed, it was a deep sound, coated with the emotional exhaustion he had felt for the last few days. Or was it weeks? He wasn’t sure anymore, time seemed to crawl by, the minute hand on the clock never moving. Yet, when he looked away for a mere second and turned back it showed hours had passed. He scoffed, how long had he been crying over a damn jacket? It was pathetic, honestly. And yet, he couldn’t tear his eye’s away. Sharp and Twisted blades dances around his heart, cutting the shatters that were left. And he was so very tired of it. 

He was sick of crying, sick of feeling sorry for himself, sick of feeling guilty and sick of missing him. He had left so long ago, a year, his mind supplied. But it never had felt real until now. With the jacket that he never took off, the one he cherished above all other things in his hands, it finally kept crashing down. This was real. And Deceit didn’t know what to do about it. He scoffed at his self, a lump forming in his throat. He knew what he had to do, he just couldn’t do it. 

He brought the fabric forward and buried his face in it, part of the fabric was still wet with his tears. He let out a disbelieving chuckle at how pathetic he was, and raised his head from the fabric. He sighed shakily. It was time to face the truth wasn’t it? Sitting here wallowing in his guilt wasn’t doing anything for him. It wasn’t going to change anything, it was only making things worse for himself. He knew this, deep down in his cold broken heart he knew this. He didn’t want to, God- he would do anything to forget. But he couldn’t. He had to get up off his arse, and get his head in the game, because no one else could do it for him. 

His grip on the Jacket tightened, his throat got tighter, and he stood up. He took a long shaky breath and let go. The fabric falling to the floor without a sound. He looked at it, his eyes starting to fill with tears. He wiped them away quickly, he had no time for this. If he gave in he might never pull himself back together. So, he clenched his jaw, fixed his gloves, and walked away from the jacket. When he reached the door he paused and straightened his hat. He couldn’t go back out there looking like a mess could he? He shook his head and twisted the doorknob, straightening his posture and walking out the door. 

He couldn’t allow himself to wallow in sorrow anymore. He wouldn’t let the sharp bitter feeling of despair cut him any longer. With one final look inside of the room, he closed the door. A soft click echoed in the empty hallway, and the feeling of being completely alone trailed down his back, leaving shivers in his wake. He tried to will away the tears as he traced the engraving on the door, his gloves catching in the small dents. He wiped his eyes with the back of his other hand and turned sharply away from the door. He had to move on now, he had work to do, plans to make, and lie’s to tell. Deceit looked back at the door and then turned away again. He heard it start to creak, the wood rotting and dissipating. It’s owner no longer resided there, so it had no use being there. He let the tears fall this time, focusing on forcing himself to walk away, one foot in front of the other, slowly and weakly he walked down the hallway. Never looking back at the dark stain where the door used to be.

It was what needed to be done. 

“Goodbye... Virgil.” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, this was interesting! I hope you all enjoyed my first actual writing for this Sanders Sides Blog. I really enjoyed writing it! And I hope I did well. I went off the idea that Virgil threw his old Jacket away after the “Fitting In” video and this just kinda happened. ^ ^  As always don’t forget to be the You, that You want to be. Have an amazing Night/Day everyone!  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[kittenlysblog]

I finished the sad Deceit drawing eeeeeee-

[sidespromptblog]

Help In Unlikely Ways: Part 2

Part One, Three, Four, Five, and Six.

Of course getting to Virgil in his time of need was really going to be something that would be impossible for Deceit, he, of course, knew that. But it certainly didn’t make things easier for him, quite frankly the number of times he’d seen Virgil moving away in a huff to go to his bedroom and lock himself away was one too many for Deceit. He knew that Virgil’s bad days came and went sometimes, and other times stuck around but it infuriated him that the anxious side wouldn’t get the help that he honestly needed from the family that he had now.

Patton would obviously love to help Virgil as he himself had seen the soft and cuddly side doting on Virgil too many times for him to honestly count, and Logan knew a lot about mental health that would help Virgil and he knew anxiety attacks, Roman..in his own way would be able to help Virgil. So he just didn’t get it, why wouldn’t he go to them?

Was he scared of coming off as needy? Did he just not want to bother the others? Was he ashamed of what he was going through?

Looking at Virgil and looking at him hard, what Deceit saw really saddened him in the end, but it also made him that much more determined to do what must be done for the anxious side. If Virgil wasn’t going to talk to them, then Deceit would give him the push that he needed in order to make it happen, even if it killed him in the process.

It was with that in mind that he stuffed his inner pockets full and waited on the couch, the others rarely paid attention to him anymore since he had been showing his face more and more in their area of the mindscape. He’d just kind of become a part of the background to them, and while at first that had really stung and hurt his feelings to the point he had gone to his room for a good couple of days to just cry it out and curl up by himself to watch his favorite movies. He had been tired of being in the background and hidden in the shadows with all of the other dark sides, and now it was practically just the same with the ones who he had thought might not accept him right away, but eventually would welcome him. He had been wrong.

However, right now it worked perfectly in his favor as he sat amongst the others, he kept his entire body relaxed as he pretended to be watching the tv show that Roman seemed completely enamored with. He personally didn’t understand the reasoning behind rocks from outer space taking care of a prepubescent boy, but he wasn’t one to judge especially as he had rather grown attached to the green one in the show. It was a little hard to drag his attention from the show and occasionally look over to Virgil, who too had been watching the show.

At least at one point.

Now his legs were scrunched up to his chest and his cheek was resting against them. Following the anxious side’s line of sight, he noticed that it was fixed onto a particular book that Logan was reading, and just like that he began to notice the signs. Alleviated breathing, how his fingers started to dig into the fabric of his pants, the biting of his lower lip, and how he seemed to be trying to say something but just couldn’t get it out. He was about to have a panic attack, and Deceit wasn’t about to let Virgil sink or run away from him this time, at least not before he could give him his message before the deceitful side ducked out and ran like a coward.

When Virgil got up to his feet, Deceit knew that it was time as he gripped the item inside of his cloak, he kept still as to not attract any attention to himself as Virgil turned his back to them on the couch moving to make his way upstairs. When…

Thwack! A hard yet soft object pelted the anxious side in the back of the head, and Virgil spun on his heel his anxious fit nearly forgotten in his rage as he was prepared to rail on whoever had thrown something at him. He had an entire speil ready and everything for the dirtbag who had thrown something at him.

However, upon turning around he froze, sitting on the ground and apparently what had hit him in the back of the head. Was a soft tiny beanie baby, it was a black kitten around the size of his palm with a yellow piece of paper wrapped around its middle and sealed with a piece of tape. His mouth snapped shut as he leaned down to pick it up as he rubbed the back of his head the sensation of being hit with the beanie baby already fading away.

Pulling the note off Virgil was forced to bite his lower lip as tears welled within his eyes, ‘We all love you Virgil, and I can tell that something is wrong. Please talk to us, you are apart of a family and all of us will hear what you have to say. Please don’t run away.’

A hand clasped over Virgil's mouth and a little sniffle left him, he knew that the writer of this note was right, but he had felt...stupid thinking about going to them. He had felt stupid about going to them about the things that set him off and made his own anxiety crank up to eleven, he had felt stupid about having to explain it to them. He had thought that he could deal with it, but the message on the note was right.

They were his family, they would care, and they would listen to them.

This time Deceit didn’t stick around as Virgil went to Patton, he sank out and nobody saw him go to the bathroom, nobody saw him gripping his chest as the tears trailed down his face. They didn’t see him and they didn’t hear him as he let out a muffled sob at just how much it hurt, it hurt to never show how much he cared for all of them, and it hurt to have them all treat him so coldly.

It hurt so much, because, in the end, he knew that they would never treat him any differently than they did now. They just didn’t see him, not enough to care.

Tagging:

@neko-ereri

@sashaying-on-sonnshine

@pinkeasteregg

@tatorqueen

[fangirltothefullest]

“Silent night, holy night, Son of God, love’s pure light Radiant beams from Thy holy face With a dawn of redeeming grace.”

Sometimes loneliness eats away at Deceit until he can’t take it. And sometimes he wishes they felt the same way about him. When the holidays come around it’s especially hard for him to see them all having so much fun with their cookies and their decorations. At night when it’s cold and he feels lonely and they’re all asleep, he sneaks into their rooms and sings Christmas songs in minor key to them. He won’t ever let them know how much he wishes he were a part of their holiday festivities, but they often wake with strange versions of recognizable Christmas songs in their head…… 

(Go listen to Silent Night by Chase Holfelder on youtube and you’ll hear how he sings it.)