Please Don’t Go
A/N: reposted from an old account
Fic Taglist: @007ardra
Deceit was there when the door to Virgil’s room reappeared. He had been so incredibly worried when he’d seen the door disappear earlier that morning. That only happened when one of the Sides decided to check out, to disappear from Thomas’s mind. He hated knowing that Virgil was hurting. He felt a pang in his chest as he took a seat in the hallway, staring at the wall, and waited for it to return.
The instant it did, he got to his feet, smoothed the front of his shirt and cloak so he didn’t seem too eager and disheveled, and knocked on the door. He had been to Virgil’s room so many times before, it seemed a little silly to knock, but he didn’t want to intrude on his privacy. The door swung open after a second, and Deceit was absolutely floored by the smile on Virgil’s face.
He didn’t smile often.
He ducked his head when he laughed, his hood pulled up over his head to hide the smile. He had slapped his hand over his mouth in the few times Deceit had seen his truly crack up over something Remus had done. It was only in the moments before he caught himself that Deceit was able to see his smile, to see his joy. But in that moment, when Virgil swung open his bedroom door, the grin on his face lit up everything around him brightly enough to be seen for miles.
Deceit felt as though a weight had been lifted from his chest. Virgil was okay. Virgil was happy.
He grabbed ahold of Deceit’s arm and pulled him into the room before peeking out around him and closing the door once he was satisfied that there was nobody else out there. He spun around to look at Deceit, who was looking at the large box on Virgil’s bed, half-packed with clothes.
“Are you… going somewhere?” he asked, his brows pulling together.
“They finally accepted me, Dee. I’m a Light Side now!”
Panic flooded his chest as his world crashed around him. “You can’t go.”
Virgil didn’t hear him. Didn’t want to hear him. He was too excited. Granted, Deceit wasn’t so sure the words had actually made it past his lips.
He brushed past him, heading to his closet, and grabbed out the last of his jeans, throwing them carelessly into the box.
Virgil was leaving.
Virgil was leaving them.
Leaving him.
He would never get the chance to tell him everything he wanted to say.
He would never get to tell him that he loved him.
That he wanted nothing more than to hold him close.
To spend eternity with him.
To be the one to dance with him in their socks at 3 am.
To love him.
“Pat and Logan are getting a room ready for me over there right now.” Virgil’s words tore Deceit from his thoughts, and he turned to him.
“Why are you leaving?” He was sure this time that the words were actually formed, echoing in his ears.
“What do you mean?” His smile faded and his brows pulled together, his shoulders slumping. Deceit felt his gut twist painfully at the sudden shift in his demeanor, knowing that he was the cause of it.
‘If it’s something I did, I can fix it.’ He clamped his lips shut around the words before the could manifest.
“Why wouldn’t I? Thomas finally finally sees me as something that’s not completely bad. I’m not hated anymore.”
“I don’t hate you. Remus doesn’t hate you. Orin doesn’t hate you.”
“You don’t get it, Dee.” He picked up a scrapbook Remus had made him last Christmas, thumbing through the pages colored with dried blood for a moment before settling it in the box.
Deceit stared at the box, resisting the urge to lift it up and empty it out on the bed.
To beg him to stay.
To tell him everything.
“I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore. Maybe someday you’ll get it.”
“Stay, Virgil. Please.”
“There’s nothing here for me, Deceit.”
“I’m here.” The words were there before he could swallow them, desperate and sharp, tearing open his throat on their way out. “Do you think they’re going to care for you the way we do? The way I do? You’re kidding yourself, V.”
He cursed himself inwardly when Virgil visibly tensed, his eyes narrowing and his jaw clenching. “Why can’t you just be happy for me, Dee?”
He opened his mouth to say something - anything - but the look on Virgil’s face stopped him. He would only make everything worse if he said anything.
Virgil picked up the box, setting whatever had been in his hand down on the bed, and pushed past Deceit once more, leaving the room. When the door closed with finality, Deceit flinched, his eyes fixing on the item on the bed. He picked up the old black hoodie with the light grey criss-crossing lines with hesitant, trembling fingers, tears pricking at his eyes. He had given Virgil the hoodie several years ago. When they had first gotten close as friends.
When he’d first realized just how much he loved him.
He hugged the hoodie to his chest, sinking to the floor and burying his face in the fabric of it. It was still warm, having been taken off - he assumed - shortly before he’d entered the room. It smelled like him.
He breathed in deeply, shutting his eyes as tightly as he could manage, and his body shook as the tears fell, soaking the hoodie.
The door opened after an eternity of tears, and he didn’t bother looking up. He knew it wasn’t who he wanted to see. Virgil wasn’t coming back.
He felt someone crouch down beside him and a hand rested on his back.
“Are you okay?” Remus asked.
He shook his head, hugging the hoodie closer against his chest. Remus took the hoodie from him with surprisingly gentle hands, and unbunched it, draping it over his shoulders before pulling it tight around him.
“Please…” He hated the way his voice cracked, his voice hiccuping at the simple word. He sounded completely wrecked, hollow and dead. “Don’t leave.”
Remus wiped away his tears with a small sigh. “I’m not going anywhere.”
