#sad studyblr

[philosophizethat]

05.01.2020

i’ve had to give up on 100 days of productivity for the time being. i’m currently battling ilness which has been a total road block in my coursework. i have to take incompletes in all of my classes and finish them at a later date, as i begin to feel well enough to do so. i hate this. i know im being way too hard on myself, and that i should be happy im able to do anything, but 4 hours and 30 minutes of work in an entire day is unacceptable for me. i don’t know how i’m going to get on top of my assignments. i feel so lost and purposeless.

i hate this epidemic. i hate feeling sick. i hate that i have to be away from my support system and i have that my goals are inhibited. i hate that one of my professors is being impossibly difficult. i hate that im going to spend my birthday feeling awful, alone in quarantine.

i love school. i miss being in the classroom im so upset that my supper classes are all on line now, i miss seeing my classmates. i miss being productive. i want this all to be over :(

[soobinstudies]

C O L L E G E U P D A T E 1 2 1 1 2 0 1 9

I just want to take this moment, about two hours before my bio final, to confess that I disappointed myself in many ways this first quarter. There are a lot of things I could have handled much better: not lying to my parents about my grades, being more open to social interaction, and not letting myself get so behind in essential classes. There were many great moments in these past months, but now they’re being overshadowed by my mistakes. I feel like I don’t deserve to go home and see my parents smiling while I fully know I am failing myself, and thus also failing them. I know this might be really dramatic, but it’s the fact that I know I could have handled things much, much better. Here’s a cheers to this upcoming final that I know I will most likely fail. Another cheers to the writing class that should’ve been an easy pass, had I not let it slip through my fingers. How about a cheers to that seminar, that I should pass but probably won’t considering my attendance and missing assignment. Final cheers to my classics class, a class I do not need, but perhaps the only one I will pass.

[education-and-sadness]

4/17-4/24

My first week back, wasn’t really a week back. I didn’t make any posts, but I did do most of my work after some hardcore procrastination. The end of the semester is very, very soon, and I am pretty behind. Further than I’d like. I want 4.0s in all my major classes, which looks pretty doable at this point. I’m only worried about one major class and one gen ed class being 3.5s. But I think I can pull it off if I do my finals really well in both of them. Anyways, here’s what I did this week, by subject, in between substance abuse, hour and a half drives, and general not being able to get out of bed.

EES-105: 4/18 notes, 4/20 exam, 4/18 lab, Ch. 17 vocabulary, Ch. 17 quiz, study for 4/20 exam

HST-102: 4/18 notes, map project, 4/22 presentation

ANT-102: 4/18 notes, 4/20 notes, 4/15 videos, 4/15 review quizzes, 4/22 videos, 4/22 review quizzes, Ch. 14 Vocab, Ch. 15 Vocab

PS-233: 4/19 notes, 4/21 notes, Case Brief 1, Case Brief 2

PS-141: 4/19 notes,  Ch. 11 Vocab, Ch. 12 Vocab, Ch. 13 Vocab

CS-115: Reading 1, Reading 2, Discussion Post, Discussion Post Reply 1, Discussion Post Reply 2, 3 Weeks Worth of Lab, Quiz

Unlike the last month, I made it to almost every single one of my classes. I only missed Thursdays PS-141 because she couldn’t make it online when I wasn’t feeling well, but she likes me so it’s ok. I’m going to be ok. I just have to keep telling myself that.

[hailstudies]

i had a shitty week and have two exams next monday and wednesday that are half of my final grade and i'm not that confident i will pass them :(

+ i'm v stressed bc i say yes to everything and i don't have enough time for it all

it's been almost one month since i last read a book for pleasure :(