#sadboy hours

[eclipseismysanctuary]

I Was Never Meant To Win.

☆ This is me mostly experimenting with writing. Getting a handle on stuff. This may be canon, or this may not be depending on how I want to progress my story.

☆ Summary: a forced apology from a broken heart. For @solar-eclipse-week

☆ Warnings: Jashshipping (Eclipse), hurt/comfort, angst in a way?, Juno incident mention, emotional manipulation/ultimatum.

The headspace was quiet. Too quiet for comfort.. It always got quiet after a fight. Heart would be sitting in his room, surrounded by blankets and stuffed animals. Trying to fill the empty space he felt but couldn't explain. The humming of the ceiling fan drowned out any thoughts Heart would have. Either that or he was chosing not to think about it. He is good at that.

There would be a quiet but authoritative knock at Hearts bedroom door. Two firm knocks. [Heart, I know you are in there.] Could be heard from the other side of the door. Heart did not respond. Mind came in anyways. (..what do you want?) Heart asked in a judgemental tone. Like Mind being there was ruining his day. Mind cleared his throat, getting straight to the point, [I want you to apologize to me.]. He said flatly. Like it was rehearsed. Hearts eyes widened, looking personally offended at the statement. (Wh– I– No???) he fumbled over his words, confused and appalled.

[I wasn't asking.] Mind huffed. [You started the fight. You freaked out over nothing. You shot me.] He spoke. (Mate are you still not over that?? I apologized like a hundred times! It happened forever ago!!) Heart objected, only to be met with Mind raising his hand. A gesture telling Heart to shut up. [Listen to me, and listen carefully. I love you, I really do. However, if you do not apologize to me, I will take that as disrespect.. I will not be with someone who disrespects me. Understood?]

The room was quiet for a moment. Heart looked down at the nest he curled himself in, thinking.. (fine.. I'm sorry..) he muttered. Mind squinted, [What was that? Say it with your chest.]. Heart huffed and crossed his arms. (I'm sorry for starting a fight..). Mind smiled a satisfied smile, crossing the room quickly to be near Heart. He would nest himself in the mountain of soft things with him.

[Thank you.]

[kepchupprabbit]

@makezkey @puggnugget @banaynaybread

COME GET YALL ANGST JUICE 😅

Please lmk you're thoughts. I haven't written anything in a really long time, and I was never really confident in my writing to begin with, but I was listening to music, and the muses overtook me, I guess

(I'm also on mobile so sorry if the format is weird)

++++++

Gale,

I miss you.

I keep telling myself I'll see you soon. I keep hoping for a letter or a knock on my door. I keep waking up expecting you by my side. We both know that won't happen. You aren't here. I want to be mad at you, I want to scream and cry. I want to act out and break things, but I just can't bring myself to do any of it.

They keep telling me to trust it will be okay. To trust in the universe and the will of the gods. I think we both know better than that. I think we both know not to trust in the will of the gods. Even La'zell said something about fate, but to be honest, I wasn't really able to listen. They keep telling me to visit the temple. That prayer will help. That even if I get no response at the very least, I will get it off my chest. I know you'd agree to the futility of that scenario.

Elminster came to visit me, if you'd believe it. Explained that Mystra wanted an audience with me. Can you believe it? MYSTRA? Of all the people in the universe, she wanted to speak with me. At Astarion's urging, I went. She brought me to her, opened up a channel of Weave, much like she did for you when we visited her temple so long ago. Can you believe it? Mystra and I having a conversation. It didn't last long of course. After pleasantries, all she really said was what they've all been saying. To visit the temple and pray. Thay praying would bring me relief. RELEIF! Can you believe her?

I left.

I went home.

There is really no relief to be had anyway. You're gone.

Besides, what is the use of praying to the God of ambition when his ambition is the reason you can't go on anymore.

I always loved you Gale.

I was always yours.

- Tav

++++++++

Thank you for reading everyone!

I really like writing things out with pen and paper so I had to type this out specifically to post lol.

Please be gentle with your input but please still be honest

Much love ❤️

Kepp

(Ps I really like stationary and physically writing things, so if anyone wants to know what my tav's handwriting/this letter/journal entry would actually look like, I will 1000% make that happen)

[munch4march]

if we were vampires // jason isbell and the 400 unit // because of the noah kahan + wesley schultz cover

if we were vampires and death was a joke we'd go out on the sidewalk and smoke laugh at all the lovers and their plans i wouldn't feel the need to hold your hand maybe time running out is a gift i'll work hard 'til the end of my shift and give you every second i can find and hope it isn't me who's left behind it's knowing that this can't go on forever likely one of us will have to spend some days alone maybe we'll get forty years together but one day i'll be gone or one day you'll be gone

for @swaymarks + @ghostgeno

[androcianarts]

hansel my son hansel

[h-o-u-s-e-p-l-a-n-t]

You know what happens when you listen to sad music when you draw, you get sad drawings

[dailyedgeworth]

today, ghost dad hand

[starchyu]

Some Playlists...

So I’ve been taking playlist requests in my discord server and if I feel a particular stroke of inspiration? I’ll also just make them and share them around lol but here are some I’ve been really fond of recently!!

Magical Girl

Desc: A playlist for lonely moonlit drive with the window down and glitter on your face~ || A soft mahou shoujo inspired playlist for the soft and sensitive ones || With beats ranging from futurefunk, pop, indie, jpop, and so on~

I’ve been really vibing with this while working on art and things~ I find the beats to be particularly great!! It’s a great approach if you have an almost-- hyper look at magical girls? With some soft things to cleanse your palette before the next couple of songs?

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP DENNYS?!

Desc: A midwestern Emo hellscape but the vibes r immaculate

This has been my go too while writing. I know miswest. emo isn’t everybodys cup of tea but something about it just scratches my brain just right.

You Just go Vibe Checked in a Wendys Drive-Thru

Desc: "Dude--- This is a Wendys- you can't hold up the line crying-- Dude-- Dude- no,,," || An overly emotional cry it out playlist for the one that got away

Sadboy Hours(tm) Still midwestern emo but this has a few genre shifts here and there? Its been good when I need to sit and think about some feelings? I really enjoy it but I def don’t think this will be a popular one lol

Dysphoria in a Ross Changing Room

Desc: N/A

I’ve been dealing with some dysphoria recently!!! Listening to this and kinda staring at it is both validating and also reminds me that I’m not alone. I usually listen to this once through then turn around and blare my gender euphoria playlist right after!

[pudico]

I just want a cute boy to create art forrr