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Happy pride month to Edgar Frog and Sam "Pretty Boy" Emerson
i dont think i will be able to turn this into an actual fic but here's a little idea for one
ok so, edgar and alan realize that every known (to them) relative of sam has at least once dated a vampire then deduce that it must be a curse or something around emersons that causes them to be attracted to bloodsucking creatures, so they decide to find sam a Frog Brothers™ approved partner that has zero percent chance to ever become a nightstalker
but then when they start testing for potential partner they soon find out that there is nobody in the whole santa carla that can meet their requirements so they arrive to only other logical solution
one of them has to date sam
then they have several hours long debate on which of them it's going to be
it's just me and my underloved dork4dork ships against the world
real ones know edgar was always chill with sam being gay. in fact he was so chill with sam being gay that he was married to him for a decade. cause that's just how much of a dedicated ally he was.
fuck every other ship dynamic. it's either this or nothing.
I think when they were teenagers sam told edgar something like "if I was a vampire I would never try to eat you" as a joke. then later down the road when sam starts turning he makes an attempt to actually keep that promise. and edgar is just like 'man why isn't he at least TRYING to suck my blood. he must hate me.' to himself all while planning to stake him if he gets too close.