My piece for @saeranzine that I completely forgot to post, hi.
I just wanted to say that this zine is one of the best things that happened to me during my time in this fandom. I’m thankful for every single person that was a part of it.
The room is dark, with a few computer screens to lighten it up a little, but not enough to make it seem less unfriendly. The walls and floor radiate with coldness, relieving from the hot weather outside, but seeping through one’s body as if to remind them of their fate.
The young man sits there, eyes fixated on one of the screens, analyzing all the details as if he hasn’t done it enough times before to know what’s about to happen.
But even if he knows exactly what the girl’s about to do at this time of the day, his eyes don’t leave her silhouette, taking in the structure of her skin, the slight frown on her face, the way she stares at her own reflection for longer than he ever would, using all these brushes and pencils to make herself look as the social standards tell her to.
He couldn’t care less about whether or not she does that, or how much time she spends on it, and neither about how expensive the cosmetics are. He doesn’t know how a woman, according to those standards, should look like.
He only stares at her, wondering what kind of person she truly is, and keeps telling himself that he only needs to keep an eye on her, to know whether she’s not planning something vicious that would put the whole plan at risk.
But he knows she’s not. It took her merely a few days to get used to this peculiar situation, and now it seems as though the apartment is her own place. She made sure everything stayed clean, and cooked her own meals, which she always focused on so much he wondered how she felt while doing so – all he ever made for himself, was some rice he ate dry out of lack of anything else.
In the middle of putting on the black thing she has that weird brush for – was it called mascara? – her phone lets out a ping and she reaches for it, immediately stopping her doing. His own phone receives a notification as well, meaning the RFA chat is open.
There is only one person in the chatroom. The nickname of Luciel Choi doesn’t make him even flinch, he’s been watching over this app for too long to be affected. But he hates the attitude the redhead hacker makes towards her, so different compared to the other members.
The girl clearly doesn’t reciprocate his feelings, and that much of a comfort Saeran has. He's being as stupid as always, making an idiot out of himself. What is he thinking? Does he want to lure her into believing he likes her?
To give her the sense of safety, of being cared for, maybe even loved… only to leave her out there, alone, in despair, once a better chance appeared ahead?
Couldn’t be. Can’t be.
What would he gain from that? What does he want from her…?
The messages keep flooding through the chatroom. Saeran feels an urge to force Seven out of the chatroom, only so that he’d leave the girl alone. But he’s aware he could easily make a mistake and get tracked if he did so. He has to endure.
“I checked the CCTV and nothing strange happened!
I’ve been looking at it every 2.35 seconds just in case something happens.”
Saeran shakes his head. Even now, the redhead does what he shouldn’t. The cameras won’t show anything interesting, he knows that. He should focus on trying to track Saeran instead.
“Are you a stalker or something? ;;”
Exactly! It’s creepy, watching over her all the time as if he had nothing more important to do.
“I want to go to MC and protect her myself!
Can’t believe there’s nothing I can do…!!!”
“Don’t come.”
He lets out a huff of irritation at how persistent the redhead can be, though he huff ends with a chuckle when he sees the girl’s reaction. She couldn’t be more blunt, and he likes that. He shakes his head, but once he looks at the screen again, the boost of messages makes his head ache. He has a sudden urge to turn everything off.
I have a mission, he reminds himself quickly, reaching for a bottle of water he keeps under the desk. But the bottle is empty and he lets out a quiet whimper of annoyance.
He stands up abruptly, almost knocking the chair over. He doesn’t feel like going to the kitchen now, there’s always so many people. He goes to the bathroom instead with the bottle, and starts to fill it with the water from the sink.
He stares at the mirror in silence as the soft sound of pouring water echoes in the cold room. Looking away after merely a few seconds, he realizes how much he and the girl are different.
And he wonders once again, what kind of person she truly is.
Does she love herself enough to not cringe every time she looks in the mirror?
The waters keeps streaming down, till it pours over the edge of the bottle and streams down its walls now. He stares at it, as if enchanted. The water is way colder than his fingers. The coldness sinks in through his nerves. His fingers become numb and he moves them slightly, as if to check whether he’s still able to.
He turns off the water and looks at his reflection again. With his wet hand, he slicks his hair back, wanting to see the difference.
The mint color of his eyes seems more intense than usual. The shade is somehow comforting yet frustrating at the same time. He feels as if his eyes don’t belong to him anymore, claimed by his Savior, the one who’s watching over him all the time.
He feels an urge to comb down his hair so that it covers his face completely, so that no one can see it. But it’d be a problem if he couldn’t see what he’s doing, so he just takes the bottle and goes back to the room, calmer than before, yet somewhat uneasy.
He sits by his desk and stares at the screen, curiosity welling up in him once again. He can’t help but stare as the girl puts her phone down and gets back to all these accessories. She’s almost done by now. It’s nearly noon so soon, she will be leaving to college. Is she a good student? He didn’t find hacking into her studying records necessary. But he may do it some other day.
He bites on his lip when the girl starts to brush her hair. Her face is emotionless, unbothered.
Her attitude is something he can’t quite get a hold on. If she was as enthusiastic as the redhead, he’d assume she’s just as stupid as him. She had ben cheerful for the first few days… but now it seems as though she changed her mind, unwilling to get any closer to the hacker. Did she get bored of him? Of the RFA?
If that’s the truth, would she be able to carry the party to an end? It’d be better to know whether she’ll keep working on it, and not one day just leave, ruining the whole plan… If such a thing happened, he wouldn’t be able to play the same trick again. RFA wouldn’t let another stranger in. It was the only chance to make it seem as though it was the group’s founder’s wish.
It actually is, he thinks. They don't have to know the real purpose, though.
Not yet. Not until they were all invited to the final party.
He’s getting impatient, he realizes. And unsure, whether or not it will work out. If the girl is already getting bored, he has to hurry up before she changes her mind and leaves.
Which means… he has to change the plans a little.
Pushing himself away from the desk and letting his wheeled chair spin around a little, he plays with his phone for a few minutes, putting it all together in his head.
Once his fingers dial the number, he puts it by his ear and waits. Glancing at the screen of the CCTV camera, he spots the girl go through the room, wondering as to who may be calling her at this time.
He sees her frown slightly when she stares at the screen for a few seconds before clicking the green button. He hears a shuffling noise when she put it to her ear.
There’s silence for the next few seconds, as neither of them speaks. Quiet sound of breathing comes out from both of the speakers, but it feels as though the time just stopped and they didn’t breathe anymore, enchanted by each other’s presence.
“…Hello?” she finally speaks, her voice cutting down the nervous silence.
He starts to cough and sees the girl frown at the sound.
“Are you… okay, sir?”
He shakes his head, annoyed with himself. Is that really the first thing he made her hear? Not intimidating at all!
“Hi, there” he finally lets out.
Hi, there?! Is that really the best he can do?!
“I’m sorry, but… do I know you?” the girl asks, her voice showing doubt and distrust.
He takes a short moment to compose himself before speaking again.
“You already forgot? It’s been only five days.”
Staring at the computer screen, he spots the girl’s eyes widen.
“You’re the…” her voice changes, showing uneasiness and – somehow – curiosity. “…the Unknown person…”
He smirks, scratching his forehead.
“Didn’t you want to meet me? You seemed quite interested back then, MC.” She flinches when he says her name. Probably because she still doesn’t know his. “So? Are you still interested in meeting me?”
“I’m…” She hesitates, but he doesn’t pry. He waits patiently for her to make her mind. “It would be a lie to say I don’t want to, but if I was to meet you, I’m not sure if it’d be a good decision to make in the first place. I’m… still confused over what’s happened. Not only me, apparently. If I agreed, would you tell me what you want to do…?”
He laughs softly.
“So you're cautious, but interested. Don’t you worry your pretty head though, princess. If I wanted to hurt you, I would have done it by now. But I need you. You’re the main character here, don’t you know by now~?”
She huffs.
“I have no idea what you mean by that. But yes, I’m aware you want something. Care to share?”
He laughs again, but this time the sound is almost warm, not as threatening as his voice merely a few moments ago.
“Not yet. Be patient, and you’ll soon find out everything… Probably even sooner than planned~”
“What do you mean by that…?”
The girl’s frown deepens when she analyzes thoroughly every single word. Yet, there’s still too many clues missing to let her figure it out on her own.
For a short while he stares forward, deep in his thoughts as well. When he asks the next question, his voice is calm, almost emotionless.
“Do you want to find happiness?”
“I do.”
Her voice is confident, as if she knew the answer for this question long ago. He grins.
“Well, then. You’ll find it soon.”
“What do you…”
“Just be patient. I will come to you soon. Can you trust me?”
“I-I think so…”
Her voice trembled, holding hesitance. But as she gullibly spoke these few words, he already knew he is already midway to convincing her.
“Well, then. Wait for me, princess. I’ll show you the real paradise. You’ll be a special guest to our party. The last party of the RFA.”
