Slime Rancher Review Script
*To be edited and slightly trimmed down*
*Will be very different after voice-over, video, and final cuts are made*
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This past year I’ve hardly completed any games or made any videos. Or rather, other than working at Olive Garden, I’ve only played a single game. I’ve sunk hundreds of hours into Overwatch. And oh my god, the game is extremely good at
1. Eating away my time.
2. Driving me absolutely insane.
The people I have to play with are absolutely disgusting. They’re the most rude, inept, self absorbed player base in the world. Like, do people in every gaming community behave that way? Does everyone think behave that way in everyday life?
Regardless, this past thanksgiving, I got to unwind with my biggest surprise.
Slime Rancher, officially released from Early Access in August 2017, a beautifully charming game we you, well, run a slime ranch. You play as Beatrix LeBeau, the new owner of the ranch. The ranch was left to you by a man named Hobson. Hobson only communicates with you through little notes that he’s scattered throughout the world. Giving little pieces of information to build the world and to share hints.
You’ll roam the far, far, range exploring the land. Your goal while exploring is to find new vegetables, fruits, chickens, and most importantly; Slimes! You’ll find pink slimes, rock slimes, firefly slimes, radiation slimes, cat slimes, cactus slimes, rainbow slimes, golden slimes, and even slimes that look like planets!
And in order to improve your ranch you have to get a proper assortment of slimes and put them into corrals. Once you have your slimes corralled, you can feed them their choice of food. Feeding them will make them drop crystals called plorts. You must collect as many plorts as you can in order to sell them for max profits. When you get enough money, you can purchase more corrals, land, and other upgrades. And get ready to start grinding, as late game you’re going to be spending 150,000 for apiece for your upgrades. And some of the upgrades along the way will be simple color pallet mods.
I was exploring the forest area when I came across an ancient door. The game wanted me to get a plort of each kind in order to open the door. The whole chapter of the game kept me absolutely mystified. I had the dumbest smile on my face when I reach the desert and brought life back to the desert with magic water.
I feel like I’m praising this too much. I need to pick on something, I guess. As a rancher you have 1 threat alone, the Tarr. The Tarr is what happens when slimes come in contact with too many plorts of different kinds. They’re not super threatening in the wild and you can just ignore them. On the ranch you can just vacuum them up and shoot them off a cliff. That’s it, they’re not very threatening to you. They only attack other slimes. Honestly, I think they should be more hostile.
So if you want a relaxing experience, I recommend buying yourself a copy of Slime Rancher. It's not too challenging, it rewards your curiosity, and is an overall enjoyable time. You can pick up Slime Rancher for a cheap price if you’re interested. This has been Saffron, thank you for listening.