i feel silly and tired and horny and i don't want to think anymore

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i feel silly and tired and horny and i don't want to think anymore
as someone who has no memory of a pre-9/11 America, I feel like its nigh impossible to see America as a force for stability in the world. Military action under the pre-text of 'Regime Change' and 'counter-terrorism' just to protect 'US Interests.' I woke up at 5:30am to news of US military operations in Venezuala (at a minimum in the capital) and reports from our president of the arrest and capture of the Venezuelan president. I have a lot of thoughts, this is mostly a ramble, but I'm appalled and scared of what this means for the world.
I think when I first heard of the United Nations, the International Criminal Court, and other international cooperative bodies, I was naive enough to believe that the United States collaborated internationally on that scale, that all countries could. World Government seems like the only practical option as the world materially improved the conditions of all people, makes sure everyone has nutrition, shelter, safety. I still have to think about if thats a possibility to improve conditions for everyone and stop exploitation in support of relatively small privileged groups. Regardless, that's not how the United States government sees it's place in the world, and I can't think of a time it ever has.
The name of the game for the United States has been and, without significant change, will continue to be imperialism (I use lowercase here purposefully, defining it as "the policy of extending the rule or authority of an empire or nation over foreign countries, or of acquiring and holding colonies and dependencies"). Taking land and perpetuating genocide of indigenous peoples living in what is now defined as the United States was imperialism. The 'acquisition' of Texas from Mexico was imperialism. The coup in Hawaii in 1893 was imperialism. The vast majority of internal relations with the US in the 1900s-now have been imperialism, in order to 'stabilize' a region and extract resources from it on favorable terms to the United States.
That brings us to now. We've killed at least 100 people in strikes on boats in the caribbean allegedly participating in 'international drug-trafficking' (which is also apparently terrorism now according to the US government. drugs are fucking WMDs). This morning, we arrested and captured Maduro supposedly to stand trial in the United States. I am separately disillusioned that the US government actually cares about and works to protect the interests of US citizens outside of corporations, but even if arresting one guy for drug trafficking worked to stop that drug trafficking, no one can deny that this is regime change.
we've put ourselves in a position as world police and arbiters of justice and morality, while also protecting US interests as the most important thing, ignoring any international democratic efforts towards a world government which would do that for more than just a single nation.
I don't think I have a point I can boil this down to besides the fact that I'm tired, ashamed, and dissatisfied with the continued exploitation of the rest of the world. There is nothing that makes me inherently more deserving of security or less deserving of exploitation than any other human being on this planet. I am not the originator of this imperialism but I am at best a bystander and at worst a somewhat active participant in it as I engage with the fruits of that exploitation in my own personal safety. i mourn the loss of life in the recent military action in Venezuela. i will not turn away. i can't be sure of what to do but i will not turn away from this.
OH AND HAPPY TRANS VISIBILITY DAY!!!
shoop da whoop on his period be like: there's a fire in mah labia!!!!!!!
GTN and HTN are more adventure games than they are novels but unfortunately they are prerequisites to Nona the Ninth which is a bonafide novel with actual themes about consent, control, colonization, memory, gender, language, and so on. I didn't think GTN or HTN were all that deep until I read NtN and I thought oh okay Muir is going somewhere with TLT. So I guess I can't blame people who get fed up with the goofy troll writing and tongue-in-cheek overwrought fandom fantasy bombast of GTN. But uh idk man I don't like when people use TLT's first book to say some big sweeping thing about its audience's taste or Muir's abilities. GTN is a puzzle box of a book that trolls you all the time and is kind of fun and is absolutely brilliant at knowing how and when to deliver information to the reader. It doesn't have to be more than that. Though I will say that a lot of people think GTN is a landmark book and love Gideon when she is the least appealing character TLT has to offer (in my opinion). So that quality of the fandom could throw off "tasteful readers who care about taste" who stumble into TLT because they heard people gushing. Not even all Homestucks like tlt and can get through it man I donno, this isn't a badge of honor so much as it is my willingness to fuck around
being so normal about ripley being a ghost and its implications. there are so many implications about that, and I'm thinking many thoughts /vvpos
Not sure if I'm going to be able to keep this blog going anymore guys :( I've been doing 12 hour work days at the moment and I'm just too busy now to keep the queue going. I might occasionally post on here, but can't promise that it'll be often
So my last post was from 3 years ago ;_;
Life happened and my tumblr habit just eventually got off my system.
I’ve no idea how I’ve gained a few followers amidst the absence. Also shocked to learn my tumblr bio says 24, when I’m nearing 30 now LOOOL
This random post is also to profess my love for Gojo Satoru <3 LMAO YES, I fell hard and right off the bat, I saw him from the first episode and I JUST KNEW
Anyway, if any of my tumblr friends are still here. Sending love & light to you all. Despite the pandemic, I hope everyone’s well & safe.