#sakura-scout

[amatusvanitas]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

TO THE LOVELY @rozcodetheory!!! I'm sorry I don't have anything ready for you today, but I haven't forgotten!!

[sakura-scout]

Not Your Fault

Title: Not Your Fault Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Characters/Pairings: Shiro, Pidge Rating: PG Warnings: Happens after the new Balmera crystal is installed and before Lance wakes up from his healing pod. Apparently I like hand holding. Disclaimer: Voltron: Legendary Defender is owned by Dreamworks, World Events Productions, and Studio Mir. I own the stories I write. Summary: Shiro can’t sleep and Pidge has something to say. Word Count: 1446

Big thanks goes out to JackieStarSister for catching mistakes I made and offering corrections. I really, truly appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work. Thank you. ff.net | DA | LJ | AO3 ~

Shiro and turned to lie on his back, eyes opening to the dark ceiling of his bunk’s compartment. Naturally occurring sleep had been hard to come by for a long time, and when it did come the scant memories of his imprisonment would shock him back into waking. An early start was usually the best way to handle the latter, but the former left Shiro to the darkness and solitude of the castle’s night cycle. A walk would probably help, but he was still nursing his battered and aching body in addition to his wounded pride. Best to just lie here—focusing on regulating his breathing and keeping his heartbeat steady—and hope his inner demons wouldn’t rise out of the shadows to keep him up all night. A soft knock rapped at his door. Against his body’s protests, Shiro rose and flicked on his room’s lights, the sudden brightness making him wince more than he already was. Another knock sounded, just as soft as the last. “Shiro?” He took a calming breath before striding across the room to open the door. Pidge stood on the other side of the doorway looking as tired and sore as he felt. Shiro pushed past those feelings and offered the younger paladin a small smile. “What are you doing up, Pidge?” He took note of the loose green button down pajamas she wore and the absence of her glasses. “I thought you went to bed right after helping Coran and Hunk with the Galra and Balmera crystals.” “I … I needed to tell you something. I was going to wait until morning, but I couldn’t sleep knowing what I did and I really, really wanted to tell you as soon as possible, so ...” Pidge looked up at him, her eyes focused solely on him. “I’m sorry.” Shiro blinked at her, brow rising at the sudden apology. “For what?” “I reviewed the castle’s security footage and it showed a droid of Rover’s make slip into the castle. That was the bomb that started everything. The Galra used Rover’s access codes to cloak their bomb droid; they probably copied it when I went outside to talk to you.” Pidge’s gaze fell to her bare toes. “It’s all my fault. It’s my fault the crystal was destroyed, that we had to spread our forces so thin, that the castle was taken, that Lance got hurt, that you got hurt, that Rover’s gone. I screwed everything up and—” “Katie,” interrupted Shiro, his cybernetic hand coming to rest on her shoulder. “There’s nothing to apologize for. It’s not your fault.” She kept her gaze resolutely on the ground. “Yes it is.” “Well it’s not,” he reaffirmed. “None of us could have known that the Galra would use Rover against us. We weren’t expecting it and they took advantage of that.” “I still feel responsible.” He thought about himself leaving the main entrance unguarded, falling short of stopping Sendak, allowing Lance to be taken hostage, being taken captive himself, playing a part in a ploy to force Pidge’s hand, and failing to help more in the second fight against Sendak. Maybe he was more tired than he realized because “you’re not the only one” slipped past his lips rather than just pass quietly through his mind. Pidge looked up, her eyes flitting across his face, searching. Shiro wasn’t sure what she was hoping to find, but the way her gaze hardened and focused on his own reminded him the look she had when she took out Sendak’s arm. “You took on Sendak by yourself. You had him in a stalemate and probably would have taken him out if the Galra hadn’t taken Lance hostage. It took four paladins—two of whom were incapacitated—and a particle barrier to just contain him.” She took his hand off her shoulder and grasped it tight in her own. “That just shows how facing him alone couldn’t have been easy, shows how capable you are. You did what you could and you only backed down when you didn’t have a choice.” “I think you’re giving me a little too much credit,” he admonished. “And I think you’re being a little too forgiving of me,” she retorted. “I told you that there wasn’t anything to apologize for, so there isn’t anything to forgive.” “Same goes for you.” Pidge squeezed the metal of his hand. “It wasn’t your fault.” Shiro took comfort in the action and squeezed back, ignoring his inability to feel her warmth. “I’m still sorry that you had to go through everything you did to get back the castle.” “Fine. I’ll take that apology,” conceded Pidge. “I’m sorry that you got tortured because of me. I really, really am. That shouldn’t have happened, especially to you.” “You can’t blame yourself for that,” he insisted. “You weren’t the only one threatened with a hostage’s well being. How do you think I got captured? So don’t worry about it. Besides, I’m used to pain—” Pidge pulled away from Shiro’s touch, horror and anger widening her eyes and setting her jaw. “That doesn’t make it okay! Doesn’t make you okay. And of course I’m going to worry about that. We’re a team—a family. We’re supposed to look out for each other. Then there’s the fact that I heard you scream. That was terrifying. There’s no way that was nothing. And don’t think this is just about the pain you went through; I’m just as concerned about the mental trauma. You couldn’t have gone through what just happened after having been through the same thing before for a year and not—I’m not saying you’re not strong; you’re Shiro the Black Paladin, but that doesn’t mean you’re not human—” The older pilot wiped away at a few stray tears from Pidge’s cheeks with his left hand, effectively silencing her. Her anger was palpable, warming and scorching him—ire focused not only on what happened to him, but also on him for trivializing himself. “Thank you. I … It’s nice to know someone’s thinking of me like that—looking out for me like that. Even better when I get to hear it out loud.” She took his hand again—his flesh and bone one this time—twining their fingers together while she looked up at him. “Are you okay, Takashi?” “I’m hanging in there,” he confessed, unable to lie in the face of her outpour of emotion and the perfect, gentle way she said his given name. “A few aches and pains that’ll fade come morning. As for mentally … Let’s just say I won’t be sleeping any time soon; and if I’m being honest, I probably won’t be sleeping much anyway considering what’s happened.” She was right: he wasn’t okay. No point in denying that. Today had been more than physically taxing; it had torn open old wounds he couldn’t see nor remember getting. He squeezed her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles and committing to memory how warm and alive she felt. “Are you okay?” “A little worse for wear, but I’ll manage.” She averted her eyes at the critical look Shiro gave her. “I ache all over, but it’s more uncomfortable than painful. I want to sleep, but I’m afraid of closing my eyes. Ideally, I’d be looking for Rover to keep my mind off of it, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to see where he and Haxus landed.” Shiro had almost forgotten about the short conversation between Sendak and Pidge before the Galra commander had him blacking out in pain. He bit his tongue to keep himself from asking about what happened with Haxus. He didn’t need the details, not when he had seen for himself what had had become of the Galra lieutenant while patrolling for any lingering enemy forces. Maybe one day she would tell him what happened in the main energy chamber, but he wouldn’t force her, especially now when the whole experience was still raw and new and bleeding. “Do you want to stay up with me?” It took a moment for Shiro to realize that he had spoken out loud. He had only been thinking that he didn’t want for her to be alone with her thoughts—thoughts of failure (justified or not), loss, and hard truths. It could be that he was just projecting onto her, letting his own wants and vulnerabilities influence what he was interpreting from her. A small tug on his left hand drew him back, back to Pidge’s small relieved smile and eager nod. “I’d like that.” “All right, then.” Shiro smiled back, some tension easing from his stiff shoulders. “What do you want to do?” “I have chess on my laptop,” she offered. “Sounds good.”

Glory be. It’s done! This ended up so much longer than I originally intended. This was supposed to be 100 words, but it wouldn’t stop. It just wouldn’t stop. I restarted this a few times and then tried to just write a drabble for Shiro, but I couldn’t stop. SO MANY DRAFTS. I cut out and rewrote so much of this. I set out to address how Pidge felt about Shiro being tortured by Sendak in “Tears of the Balmera” because I don’t think she’d so easily forget Shiro’s screams. And then it ran away from me. Gosh. I haven’t written anything this long or dialogue heavy in years, so please forgive me for any wonkiness. Still, please tell me about the wonkiness. I need to improve.

[therentyoupay]

fic stats (meme) ;

thank you to @sakura-scout​ for the tag! ❤❤

your three fics with the most comments:

» at the center | COMMENTS: 1,156 | crossover: frozen/rise of the guardians | epic multi-chapter { 323,957 words } | T | legends and fairy tales, magic and myths, and—at the center of it all—a story of a young, future-queen and her young, ageless-guardian; a girl cursed with fear and a god frozen in time, and all of the reasons why seeing isn’t always at the heart of believing. |  a dash of angst, a touch of fluff, and a whole lifetime of pain and love and hope, all spiraled into a series of drabbles, ficlets, and one-shots; an on-going jelsa fanfiction of—literally—epic proportions.  | { jack/elsa ; guardian!crossover au }

» that one night | REVIEWS: 878 | legend of korra | multi-chapter { 221,171 words } | M | what’s more fun than five different love triangles? probably when half the people don’t even realize that they’re in them. | in which tahno knows a lot about swamps, korra becomes his intern, and general chaos ensues. collection of gift!fics, all inspired with the prompt: “that one night…” { tahno/korra ; grad school!AU } 

» personal record | REVIEWS: 495 | legend of korra | multi-chapter { 174,070 words } | T | the life and love of running, autumn, and high school cross-country. | { tahno/korra, mako/korra, mako/asami, one-sided bolin/korra ; high school cross-country!AU }

your three fics with the most kudos:

» at the center | KUDOS: 1,785 |

» check the pipes for frost | KUDOS: 498 | crossover: frozen/rise of the guardians | multi-chapter { 66,697 words} | M | a series of correspondence from two people who probably would never have known each other at all, if not for anna’s terrible organizational skills. postcards, letters, e-mails, and texts, and—somewhere, in between all the lines—attraction. maybe. neither of them have exactly ever done this before. | in which jack receives elsa’s postcards by mistake. | { jack/elsa ; modern crossover!AU, epistolary }

» break the ice | FAVORITES: 431 | legend of korra | one-shot, part of a series { 7,633 words } | T | a dance is a dance, except when it isn’t. | { tahno/korra ; canon-parallel }

your oldest (published) fanfic that you’re willing to share:

» don’t be afraid | JUNE 2006 (~10 YEARS AGO) | avatar: the last airbender | one-shot | { 5,780 words } | T | the blue spirit finds that a particular waterbender turns out to be a rather helpful ally. | { zuko/katara ; canon!verse, book two }

your latest (most recently updated) fanfic:

» livable | 4 DAYS AGO | crossover: frozen/rise of the guardians | multi-chapter { 22,211 words} | T | in which jack and anna are literally the most perfectly compatible platonic roommates in history and elsa is more than skeptical. | { brotp!jack/anna, romantic!jack/elsa ; modern roommate!AU }

your proudest fanfic:

» of sparks and moonlight | crossover: avatar: the last airbender/rise of the guardians | multi-chapter { 7,220 words} | T | in which the man in the moon isn't a man at all. | five drabbles, five moments, five thousand lifetimes. | { jack frost/princess yue ; after dark!verse }

your longest (two) fic(s):

» at the center | WORDS: 323,957 |

» that one night | WORDS: 221,171 |

your three fics with the most (AO3) bookmarks:

» at the center | BOOKMARKS: 209 | (including private bookmarks)

» check the pipes for frost | BOOKMARKS: 89 | (including private bookmarks)

» fifteen minutes | BOOKMARKS: 28 | (including private bookmarks | crossover: frozen/rise of the guardians | multi-chapter {7,586 words} | T | fourteen minutes late. elsa sipped her coffee and began to ready her things. she gathered her pens and flipped the cover of her notebook closed. her bag, once packed, made its way into her lap, until she waited half a minute more. at precisely fifteen minutes past 10am, elsa shouldered her light jacket, readied her umbrella, and rose to her feet. she’d ordered her coffee to-go. as she made her way toward the front door, she caught sight of another newspaper an older gentleman was reading, which read, “PITCH ATTACKS LATE LAST NIGHT, GUARDIANS RISE AGAIN,” and elsa indiscernibly shook her head. | in which anna tried to sneakily hook a sister up and (may or may not have) accidentally introduced her to the secret identity of the city’s newest superhero. { jack/elsa ; prompt: modern superhero!AU, a blind date } 

your favorite character to write in fic:

jack frost ❤

//

tagging: @izaswritings (i just recently found her miraculous ladybug fanfiction and i’m lovin’ every single one of them!!) | @literallysunshine | @mihnn | @blackestfaery | anyone else who wants to explore this!!

[amatusvanitas]

Fanfic Meme!

Tagged by @ramblingredrose!!  These questions are set up for AO3, but as I only have one story up there, I’m gonna adapt this for FanFic.Net, which is still where I get most of my traffic.  I added links if you’re interested?  They’re in bold, you can’t miss ‘em.

Your three fics with the most comments:

1.  “Strength and Courage,” with 409 reviews as of posting.  (Two readers reviewed literally every chapter.  No joke.  One even did it all in two days.  It was a little terrifying, lol.)

2.  “One Hundred Suns,” with 188 reviews.

3.  “The Beginning and End of Everything,” with 112 at about 60% completion, so I’m kinda hoping it’ll beat OHS if I ever get back to writing consistently.

Your three fics with the most kudos:

1.  “One Hundred Suns,” with 36 favorites.  (Why do people like this.  Why.  I can barely read this collection and yet this seems to be the one that gets remembered best.)

2.  “Strength and Courage,” with 30 favorites.

3.  “Caught in the Act,” one of the funnier oneshots, with 22 favorites.

Your oldest fanfic:

“Prejudice,” which was posted on August 19, 2010.  It’s also the only fanfic I have posted (besides tumblr bits) that isn’t from KH. It’s, uh… (Do I have to…?)  It’s a Legend of Spyro fanfic.  ^///^  THE SHAME. (Although, rereading it right now, I don’t actually hate it despite it suffering from “I just started writing and must use as many words as possible to sound adult” syndrome.)

Your latest fanfic:

“The Beginning and End of Everything,” which was started on May 13, 2013, and last updated on November 3, 2015.  My mental health is getting in the way of finishing this, but I haven’t given up on it.

Your proudest fanfic:

I was already kind of attached to it, but ever since Knight Dawn made this gorgeous piece of art for “Sleeping to Dream,” I adore it, even if it is incredibly far from the actual canon.  Knowing that someone else was able to make something so awesome out of it fills me with glee.

On the flip side, I’m also really proud of “Marshmallows and Firelight” ‘cause it’s fanfic of fanfic, and it’s seriously like the best thing I’ve ever written to give to a person.

Your longest fanfic:

Technically, “One Hundred Suns” and “Strength and Courage” are tied at 10,000 words apiece, but with all the author’s notes and replies attached to it, “Strength” wins at 34, 759 words.  The longest one-shot I have up is “The Bachelor Brigade” at 5, 148 words.

Your three fics with the most bookmarks:

Let’s go with most views here, shall we?  “One Hundred Suns,” with 34,312 views overall.  Ignoring the 100-theme challenges, “The New Future’s Face” has 1, 217 views.

Your top three crossover fics:

Unless KH counts as a massive crossover, then I don’t write crossovers.  (Although I keep entertaining the thought of a KH fic with True Blood rules…)

Your favorite character to write in fic:

I feel like it’s easiest for me to write Riku, but I like writing Xion more; however, most fun to write is Sora, forever and always.

My turn to tag!  I nominate @knightdawn, @sakura-scout, and @godtierwallflower, if you lovelies have the time and are willing.  Thanks again to ramblingredrose, and thanks to you for reading!!