#salzella

[stomachforcrows]

I've not got like. Any. fancasts for anything, but literally as soon as Salzella showed up in Maskerade I immediately began picturing him as Reece Shearsmith and I haven't been able to shake it since

[pratchettquotes]

"Er, gentlemen," said Mr. Bucket. "Ahem. All right. Cards on the table, eh? I'm a simple man, me. No beating about the bush, speak as you find, call a spade a spade--"

"Do give us your forthright views," said Salzella. Definitely that kind of owner, he thought. Self-made man proud of his handiwork. Confuses bluffness and honesty with merely being rude. I wouldn't mind betting a dollar that he thinks he can tell a man's character by testing the firmness of his handshake and looking deeply into his eyes.

Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

[its-harrumble]

"And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head."

- From "Maskerade" by Terry Pratchett.

[pratchettquotes]

"I don't understand! Is this man mad?"

Salzella put an arm around his shoulders and led him away from the crowd. "Well now," he said, as kindly as he could. "A man who wears evening dress all the time, lurks in the shadows and occasionally kills people. Then he sends little notes, writing maniacal laughter. Five exclamation marks again, I notice. We have to ask ourselves: is this the career of a sane man?"

Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

[iamthespineofmybook]

“Good grief, man! Important? What’d I ever have achieved in the cheese business, I’d like to know, if I’d said that money wasn’t important?” “There are people out on the stage right now, sir, who’d say that you would probably have made better cheeses.”

Mr. Bucket and Salzella, Maskerade, Discworld Book 18

[ironfounderson]

A catastrophe curve, Mr Bucket, is what opera runs along. Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong, Mr Bucket. It works because of hatred and love and nerves. All the time. This isn't cheese. This is opera. If you wanted a quiet retirement, Mr Bucket, you shouldn't have bought the Opera House. You should have done something peaceful, like alligator dentistry.

Maskerade (1995). Mr Salzella on opera.

[ironfounderson]

Oh, theatre," said Salzella. "Theatre doesn't even approach it. Opera isn't theatre with singing and dancing. Opera's opera. You might  think a production like Lohenshaak is full of passion, but it's a sandpit of toddlers compared to what's going on behind the scenes. The singers all loathe the sight on one another, the chorus despises the singers, they both hate the orchestra, and everyone fears the conductor; the staff on one prompt side won't talk to the staff on the opposite prompt side, and dancers are all crazed from hunger in any case, and that's only the start of it, because what is really - "

Maskerade (1995). Salzella on opera (2)

[ironfounderson]

Do give us your forthright views," said Salzella. Definitely that kind of owner, he thought. Self-made man proud of his handiwork. Confuses bluffness and honest with merely being rude. I Wouldn't mind betting a dollar that he thinks he can tell a man's character by testing the firmness of his handshake and looking deeply into his eyes. "I've been through the mill, I have," Bucket began, "and I made myself what I am today-" Self-raising flour? though Salzella.

Maskerade (1995). Mr Bucket, the cheese-monger and opera-house owner.