18-yo Sam left his brother to die with an abusive drunk and never even called him for four years. From what we've seen of the Stanford era, he didn't seem all that sad or conflicted to me. So, no, I won't think of Sam. I'll think of Dean being almost killed because Sam wasn't there for him, and Dean punching a wall because after everything, he meant nothing to Sam - nothing at all.
Both John and Dean told Sam never to come back. We get confirmation of that in season one and again in season four. Sam wanting to go to college is a healthy desire four a young adult. John and Dean were the ones who tried to manipulate him and forced him out.
There is no concrete evidence that John abused Dean or Sam. Sure, there are moments where Dean has expressed fear over his dad, but that could be him reliving the fear that every child feels when they’re in trouble. At the end of the day, Sam and Dean praised John for raising them the way he did.
Sam wanted to go to college, so he did. It was most definitely not an easy choice for him, but he did it because he wanted to do what was best for himself. It was not selfish; Sam had spent his entire life up to that point being forced to do what he didn’t want to and he wanted out. The way John and Dean reacted after that is not his responsibility whatsoever; they tried to use manipulation to get him to stay. So no, I won’t feel bad for Dean. It sucks having your sibling leave for college but if he truly wanted Sam happy he would have let him go. Dean was the selfish one, not Sam
