Ideas on helping a friend with depression
I have a friend who reached out and said they were feeling down and so I wanted to speak to them and try and help.
I am lucky to know a counsellor and so I called for advice - the below are the notes I took from my conversation.
Capturing here, as hoping this might help someone else in this situation.
Try to start the conversations by not making any assumptions about what might be wrong and just listen.
Its important to know that you are not a counsellor (you are a friend) so you can help but you probably won't be able to fix things.
Let them do most of the talking - create space for them- don't try and give ideas on solutions too soon - instead reflect back what you are hearing and empathise with them.
Let them know its very normal to feel like this.
Encourage them to go and see their doctor - they will be able to properly asses how they are and if medication and/or counselling could help.
You could use or encourage them to use diagnosis tools - like one available on NHS. This could help them understand their current position and encourage them to get help from a doctor.
Don't be afraid to ask them if they are having suicidal thoughts - I was advised, there is no link between asking someone this and them actually carrying out suicide (here is a paper I found on the topic). But by asking you could encourage them to talk to a their doctor and/or the Samaritans.
If their doctor suggests counselling then it may take some time for a no cost counsellor to become available - the doctor will probably suggest local charities etc that have groups etc to support people dealing with mental health challenges - charities like Mind.
If you do end up offering some friendly advice - be led by them, if you sense that they are seeing the advice or suggested next steps as positive then go with it. It really depends on their mental state whether they will be ready to take on advice and action it, so just feel it out.
The key is to listen, create space for them, encourage them to get professional help and be there as a friend regularly checking in on them - but not taking it all on yourself to solve their challenges.
Hope this list helps.
